Fridays are great, usually. This Friday wasn't such a great one. There were nothing but screw-ups and miscommunication at work, which made everyone pissed off. Not much of an inconvenience to me as I don't deal with customers, but it made my co-workers crabby and annoying as hell. My problem was the money. As in, there was none. No money to pay bills, no money to get into the payroll account, no money for the 101 checks the boss asked for, or all the things he kept buying. Nothing but aggravation and a shit show.

When I came home, I decided the hell with all this, I was going to take the best bottle of wine I had, walk up to the park by the lake, the one with the 'Rise of the Midgard Serpent' statue installed in it and partake in a good buzz. I thought that statue was pretty damn awesome. Kinda weird, but awesome still. As soon as dusk came I headed out with my wine bottle hidden in a backpack. The local 5-0 frowned on public intoxication in my upscale area. Hey, this bottle cost over twenty bucks and at least I wasn't driving!

I reached the park, and found a good hidden spot, right across from where the Midgard Serpent statue sat serenely in the water with the waves lapping at it's sides. I could have a nice peaceful visit.

"They need to clean the bird shit off you, Jormy." I remarked as I popped the cork on my wine bottle, then looked around to see if anyone heard. Nobody had.

Ah yes, another reason to come here and drink a little wine. Being close to this poor old sun-faded, bird shit encrusted effigy of Jormungandr made me feel close to Loki, and I liked feeling close to Loki. In fact, I'd love to feel a lot closer to Loki...

"So tell Loki I said hello! This swigs for him!" I winked at the statue and took a good pull off the bottle and then lit a smoke. I sat watching the shadows get denser. Listened to the cars pass by over the bridge. Watched the lights come on in the big houses across the lake. I continued nursing my nice full...well now half-full...bottle of great wine. Holy crap, this stuff hits hard and fast, which for thoroughly inappropriate reasons brought Loki once again to my mind.

"This ones for you, Jormy!" I tilted the bottle at the statue and drank, and as soon as I did I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye and heard the rumble of thunder.

"You gotta be kidding. No, Thor. You can't have one fucking drop of my alcohol." I wagged a drunk finger at the sky and laughed. I felt raindrops, and decided to just stay where I was. So what if I got a little wet. There was no rain in the forecast, though. This must be one of those summer pop-up showers, no big deal.

I sat in the sprinkles and the intermittent thunder continuing to drink, probably something I wouldn't have done had I been sober. I was almost through with the bottle and I don't think I could have shambled my sorry ass home right then if an ax murderer was chasing me.

Last big swig in the bottle. On sudden wasted and ridiculous inspiration, I held the bottle up to the now-swirly looking sky and hollered "For Asgard! Heimdall, open the Bifrost!" I laughed as I stood up, swaying badly, and downed the rest of my wine. A huge clap of thunder hit and startled me. Drunk past what I really should have been, I jumped back a step and not realizing I was on an incline I slipped on the wet grass and tumbled forward sliding down the grass and then rolling over in a truly clumsy, stupid heap right towards the water.

"Aw fuuuu..." was all I remember getting out before it felt like I hit into a wall and saw colors. Lots of colors. Swirling colors that looked like a tunnel. I felt like I didn't have a body anymore, almost like that time I did acid in the 10th grade, only without the paranoia. I floated at what seemed like a million miles an hour while holding still in this trippy color tunnel, realizing I was probably knocked out or plain passed out back on the shore of the lake...or in it. Maybe I was drowning back there and this was what death looked like.

And then, the brakes came on. Just like that. It was quiet except for a strange hum. I couldn't quite see and then, things started to come into focus, especially the huge dude standing in front me holding an equally huge sword.

Is that...is this...the hell? Talk about fabulous lucid dreaming, or lucid passing-out. What the fuck lucid ever. Who cares! This has to be Heimdall if all the talk on TV was correct!

"The fuck."

My first words in Asgard were profanities and I'm not sorry.

The giant guy in front of me stared down at me with strange yellow-orange eyes that seemed to have their own light inside them. He didn't look none too friendly. Ah so what. This was my hallucidnation! I was going to make the best of it until I drowned or woke up or whatever was happening back in the real world at the pile of idiot-meat that was my drunken body.

I stared right back at Heimdall. Geez, did he ever know how to create tension. Fortunately, I was pretty adept at breaking tension! I kept a perfectly straight face as I rasped, "Why so serious-AH?"

That got a reaction. Sort of. Maybe with this guy it was a huge thing. He was a damn stack of logs.

Heimdall arched one eyebrow and frowned. Then he said, "You have been granted an opportunity most do not get. I have heard you speaking to him for some time now and have seen your devotion."

"Huh? Ah...I know who you're talking about! I called his name a few times I guess. Every now and then." I broke into a salacious grin. I couldn't help it! If that wine made dreams this good, then I'm getting a whole case of that shit as soon as I get ba...

No reaction to that either. Heimdall simply said, "He does not know you have arrived. He does not know this has been arranged."

"OK. HE has a name. I assume we're talking about Loki, or are we all not supposed to say his name out loud?" I smiled at Big Daddy Bridge-Dude. "I'd be happy to holler it all the way to the sky…."

I got around to noticing the sky. Good lord, that was a SKY! I didn't know I could dream up such a cool sky!

"That will not be necessary." Heimdall rumbled.

I sighed, starting to feel annoyed. "Fine so, how do I get to my darlin'? Just point me in the direction and I'll ease on down the...road...DAMN, that looks like the hugest pipe-organ I've ever seen!" I finally got a look at the sky-line of good 'ole Asgard. I don't remember anyone describing it in depth, exactly, in all the coverage and interviews and various bullshit commentary after that New York incident.

Heimdall interrupted my reverie, "Straight ahead. I understand someone will meet you and take you to him."

It struck me that Heimdall seemed to hate every second he had to discuss this, and he actually didn't seem awfully fond of me either, in general.

"Hey, Heims. This bridge looks like the dance floor in Saturday Night Fever. This thing sturdy?"

No answer. I'd think people in my own dream would have a better sense of humor. Accounting is ruining my imagination.

"All right, fuck it. Off I go." And I started walking towards the big damn thing that looked like a pipe-organ on steroids. I thought I caught the sound of a very tired sigh behind me. Well good. I hope I'm exasperating as hell! Suck on it.

I figured since this was my dream I'd just magically float on where I needed to be but no. This went on and on, and the pipe-organ didn't seem to be getting much closer. I stopped and felt around in my pocket. Smokes and lighter were still there! Can I smoke on Asgard? I'm dreaming this isn't real, I can do whatever I want. I lit up.

I thought I saw someone on a horse coming towards me. I kept walking, shit this is tiring me out. I flicked some ashes on the pretty colors under my feet. Pimp-walked a few steps and was about to break out into the Curly-shuffle when the horse and rider got close enough to see. I squinted trying to make out who this was. Looked like a female. Severe ponytail, dark hair…

Finally she got close enough and stopped. I stopped too, and we stared at each other like two gunslingers in a shitty western.

"Well hell. If it ain't the welcome wagon." I took a last drag off my cigarette and flicked it right off the side of that obnoxious bridge. The woman followed it's descent for a few seconds and then looked back at me with trepidation plainly visible in her eyes. I think I placed her from the 'Avengers Edition: Asgard' program I'd seen detailing who Thor and Loki were and where they'd come from. That was were I'd first felt like there was more to Loki's side of the story. Asgard had actually brought up more questions about Loki than anything. I remembered this gal gave off an almost petulant vibe. I felt like she had more to do with what happened in Thor and Loki's family than we'd ever really know.

One other thing: I didn't like her.

She dismounted her horse, took a deep breath, and came walking up to me with authority. There was nothing welcoming, friendly or warm in her demeanor. She was not here to make friends. In fact, she looked like she was about to grab hold of me and shove me along. She actually started to reach towards me. I don't let people treat me that way in reality, let alone in my own dreams!

"Hold right the fuck up...Sif. You're Sif ain't ya?"

The woman stopped in mid-reach, then her arm fell back to her side as if she wasn't sure how to continue.

I stepped right up to her, almost nose to nose. My dream, my rules, and between her and Heimdall, I was feeling like a real red-headed stepchild, and it was pissing me off. "If you think you're gonna put your hands on me, then you and me?" I gestured between us, "We gonna have a REAL problem."

Her mouth thinned out into a fine, pissy line and it seemed like she might say something, but instead stepped backwards, hands up. "We shall not. All is well."

"That's a fine surprise considering who I'm here to see. They sent you as my escort?"

"I am to take you to...where he is." She looked like she was barely restraining the urge to either throw me off that bridge or run screaming in the opposite direction. This lady was downright uncomfortable.

"That's right kind of ya." I said sarcastically.

"There's room on the back of my horse if you..."

"I'll walk, thanks." I interrupted. Better not to show weakness around here, it felt like swimming with sharks already.

"As you wish." She said quietly and jumped back on her horse.

"Just lead on, and don't talk any crap about my fella, because I don't like that and don't want to hear it."

I had a feeling she didn't understand all of what I was saying. She looked like she'd rather being doing anything else besides what she was doing now. Why she was doing it I had no clue. Hey! It was my dream, might as well ask!

"So why are you doing favors for Loki?" She visibly flinched at his name.

"This is not for...for him. This is a favor for a close friend." She looked very uncomfortable. Well, since she was being so fucking friendly, might as well join in.

"Oh man!" I ran up ahead of her a bit and started walking backwards so I could watch her expression. "You must be talkin' about big bro with the hammer, yeah? You do anything for that guy, right?"

"He is destined to be king." She said simply.

"Wonder how that's gonna work with that little chick Mr. Hammer's got on Midgard, or Earth or whatever the hell you call that rock we come from. She's going to be your queen, I guess?" Sif winced and didn't reply.

"Too bad so sad." I turned back around and laughed. Ah hell, what does it hurt. None of this is real anyway.

Before she had a chance to say anything else I asked, "So, what? Loki's been a good boy and he gets a visitor? Big bro feel sorry for him?"

She didn't answer right away, but finally said, "Heimdall has heard many talk to him, yourself included. The object of your misguided affection hears it not as he does not listen, but Heimdall does. He sees all."

"Maybe I should be embarrassed then!" I said, with high hilarity. I think she actually caught on to what I was inferring judging by the flinch she gave. Damn, is Loki really so disgusting to these people?

"Thor believes that if Loki heard from those that truly care about him, then perhaps it may help release him from this madness he's fallen to." She stopped her horse and gave me an imploring stare, and I'll be damned if I almost didn't feel sorry for this bitch!

"Thor has been deeply saddened by what has transpired with his brother. We all have! This has been the most devastating event to befall us. Thor recently spoke to the queen, and she expressed her heartbreak at Loki's fate. It was Thor's idea to allow Loki to meet someone from Midgard that cared for him, to perhaps touch his frozen heart in a way we cannot." She looked down as if she'd said too much.

"So, you're asking for my HELP? Fucking really?! Hell you can't even deal with your 'family-problems' you gotta bring other motherfuckers up here to take care of shit for you? The hell kind of 'Gods' are you supposed to be?" This was just amazing.

Sif's face turned angry and flushed and she spat, "Loki has brought this all upon himself..."

Oh here we go.

"NO." I said loudly. "Just, stop right there. Do you wanna go there, Sif? I don't think you do. I don't think you want to hear someone tell Asgard about itself, and I'm not shy."

These people were jackholes. How the hell are people in my dream jackholes? This dream sucks!

Sif took a deep breath and looked like she might want to escalate the situation but...not now.

"Just take me to HIM, and stop flapping your gums. I'm sick of your bullshit already." I turned my back on her.

There was a beat or two of silence.

"I see like draws like." She ventured, her voice dripping with anger and dislike. Feeling's mutual, honey.

"Yeah. Fuckyouverymuch, you been a great audience." I said blandly.

We continued on in silence. I smoked another cigarette. I think she hated the smell. I made sure to stay upwind, because by this time I was 'That Gal'.

Finally, we get to the huge gates. I was feeling less than impressed for some reason. I should be all awestruck and crap like that but, well, I guess I was saving that for The Man himself, assuming this actually led there. I followed her up to the palace, then she jumped off her horse and gestured for me to follow. I waved at the few people in the area staring at me and gave them all a big smile. Wished a few to have a nice day. They looked at me with wide, shocked eyes. Again, my dream! I could be as obnoxious as I wanted!

We met up with some dudes in armor and carrying spears. Sif turned to me and said, "I will go no further. The guards will take you down to your...beloved." She didn't say the word as much as spit it out, like rotten food. She shuddered then continued, "I hope you enjoy your short time with him. It will likely be all you are ever afforded." She seemed to enjoy that idea however…

"I hope you enjoy watching Thor moon over that Midgard chick he likes better than you. Love, peace and hair grease, girlfriend." I flipped the bird.

She abruptly turned on a heel and huffed off. Hope someone hands her a tissue. Asshole.

I surveyed the five or so dudes in front of me. "So let's go already." I said. I was feeling tired or this. I wanted to get to Loki before the dream-bubble popped. That's probably what was going to happen anyway, knowing my luck! Everything's shitty and just when it's about to get good…boom. Story of my life.

Flight of stairs. Several. Shit, I really needed to quit smoking, I was getting winded. Lots of golden carved walls. Lots of obnoxious excess. Asgard had one hell of an ego.

Finally, around a corner and through gigantic, thick doors was a long hallway lined by what looked like glass cells, almost like zoo exhibits. What was this, the Zoo of Disagreeable Motherfuckers? Upon closer inspection, there was no glass on the cells, but a weird forcefield. I could see patterns in it moving.

We passed by several before they stopped. One guy gestured to the right and the fellas next to him parted. They all turned and walked off and there in front of me was a blindingly white and clean room, with a sole occupant. The very one I'd come to see.