Well, Hello there.

I DO NOT, repeat DO NOT obsess over FMA.

I have a friend who does.

And one day, she said "I tried to write a FMA fan fiction and failed."

So, being the amazing friend that I am, wrote her half a age of set-up. She then wrote half a page, and I wrote a half page… so on.

This is a short one-shot, boyxboy, Roy and Edward

It also contains the mental scarring of Alphonse.

Ed is also 18.

It is more than slightly ridiculous.

So. I will never own FMA. I don't really want to ruin it.

Read on!

Scratch scratch.

Edward sighs. "Al, take the cat out of your armor."

"But Eeeeeeeed…" Al whines.

"Al, we can't take care of a cat." Ed frowns.

"But Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!" Al pleads, crocodile tears welling up in his eyes. How he manages to cry is a mystery that would have dire consequences if discovered.

"No! Put it back, we're going to Roy's house!" Ed says, fixing his tie straight.

"You loooooooooooove hiiiiiim!" Al mocks, not realizing the truth of his words. Ed blushes.

"I do not." Ed says, trying to hide his flushed face.

"You do!" Al squeals, excited at this new discovery.

"Shut up, Al!" Edward says, picking up his pace to be ahead and out of conversation-range with his little brother.

"Wait up, Ed!" Al says, but catches up with his short brother in two strides anyway. "If you two get together, who do you think will be on top?"

"Al!" Ed hisses. "We're here. Try to at least act decent." Ed smiles in relief of the conversation drop, opening the garden gate and feeling his familiar nervousness settle in/

Ed flattens out his shirt one more time before knocking on Roy's door.

"Oh, hello there little alchemist." Roy opens the door, smirking at the two.

"I'm not short!" Ed protests. Ed blushes slightly at his outburst. "Hi, Roy."

Al runs into the house, looking for a corner to grow mushrooms in, but still smiling at his brother's crush.

"Won't you come in?" Roy asks, hiding all his affections for the older brother for Al's sake. (Who is growing mushrooms within earshot of the two)

Ed steps into Roy's house, noticing the differences from last time. "I absolutely love what you've done with the place." Ed says to the colonel.

"What's for dinner, then?" Al asks, curious as can be.

"Italian. Namely pasta. I know I's your favorite Ed…" Roy says, gazing at the smaller boy.

"Thank you." Ed says, blushing as he slides off his coat.

"I can take that." Roy says, making Ed's heart flutter at Roy's slight smile and coat-stealage.

Ed smiles gratefully at the other man. Roy returns the smile, leading the brothers to his dining room. Al sits down, thankful Roy set a place for him. It's a nice courtesy that makes Al uncomfortable when he has something different from all the others, unless it's just the brothers.

Ed sits too, and starts to scoot his chair in before Roy gently pushes it in for him. "Thanks." He mutters, looking down to hide his furiously pink cheeks.

"No problem." Roy whispers into Ed's ear, causing shivers to run down the younger's spine.

Al takes out a notebook, writing "Italian Pasta" next to all the other foods he'd like to try some day.

"Hey, brother." Says Al. "How long have you and Roy been dating?"

"AL!"

Roy chuckles. "Ed, it's alright. We've been dating six months, two weeks, two days, three hours, seven minutes and 27 and a half seconds. Not that anyone's counting." Roy smiles.

Not a stalker at all.

Al's eyes widen. "…Really?"

The colonel smirks. "Oh yes." He says, leaning over to kiss his lover.

Ed is surprised, blushing, but gets lost in the moment as Roy slides his tongue into the younger man's mouth. Ed moans slightly, forgetting about everything else.

"I think I'll just go to the bathroom…" Al says, getting up to leave as he is quickly forgotten in the passion of their tongues.

Al doesn't go to the bathroom.

He goes home to wash his eyes out with peroxide.

DUN DUN DUN. Yea, it's over. So this isn't thought out at all, we didn't even talk to each other when we started writing…thus this became what it is. Crack, I suppose? Tell me (us) what you think and maybe we'll write another/prequel/sequel!