Barry races through the bedroom door, knocking over a lamp and several books off the nightstand which neither he nor Iris have the time or interest for at the moment.
"Coast is clear?" Iris inquires once she registers his presence, brushing her windswept hair out of her face.
"Crystal," Barry nods.
"Thank God it's Saturday," Iris huffs, collapsing onto their mattress.
"You've really had a rough week," Barry remarks, eagerly pulling the covers back and climbing into bed after her.
"Yes, that's why I need you to make me forget I did," Iris hisses, seizing his shirt and pulling him closer to her.
"Very attractive," Barry jokes.
"I don't have the luxury or energy to seduce you," Iris shoots back.
"No, I mean it. I'm really turned on," Barry chuckles, rolling over to settle on top of her.
"Are you trying to say whenever I threaten you, you think I'm flirting instead of plotting to kill you?"
Barry laughs. "Look, everything you do is sexy. That's not my fault-"
"Stop talking," Iris interrupts. "Are you up for my challenge or not?"
"Challenge accepted. I'll make you forget your own name," Barry boasts stupidly, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Why am I married to you?" Iris shakes her head, but smiles fondly, opening her mouth to accept his kiss.
They kiss with sloppy eagerness for a length of time, tongues twisting and heads slanting. Their lips are still joined as Barry fumbles for the hem of Iris's robe, tugging it upward to grope her thighs.
Iris breaks their kiss. "Bear…" she pants against his mouth, her gaze dizzy.
Barry snickers. "I see you're not amnesic yet. I'd better step my game up," he growls, palming between her legs.
"Mhmm," Iris giggles, closing her eyes, grinding against him. "I hope you plan on being more than just handsy."
Barry smirks down at her before bending over to kiss her again, moves to push his pants lower-
The door bursts open and two four-year-olds barge in.
Iris shrieks and shoves Barry away which isn't necessary considering he's already tumbling off of her and yanking his pants back over himself.
Barry sits up straight and clears his throat audibly, crossing his arms with feigned composure, despite his heart racing and his cheeks heating. Behind him, Iris hurriedly struggles to smooth her robe back over her knees.
Dawn and Don stare at their parents.
"Hey Kids!" Barry attempts casually, raising a hand to wave. Once he realizes where his hand had just been he drops it hastily.
"Why are you in your bed if the sun is out?" Dawn accuses. "It's not nighttime."
"We-we were just getting out of bed right now!" Iris explains with a halfhearted chuckle, nudging Barry with her elbow until he grasps the hint to stand up.
"Daddy, your face is pink," Don giggles. "You look funny."
Barry laughs nervously, fanning himself. "I'm just-you know-hot."
"Dawn, Donny," Iris starts, and Barry doesn't need to turn around to know her teeth are gritted with forced sweetness. "Didn't Mommy and Daddy tell you to knock when the door is closed?"
"But it was open this tiny much," Don chirps, indicating the space between his thumb and index finger as reference.
"You couldn't close the door all the way?" Iris mutters reproachfully out of the corner of her mouth, clearly still peeved at having been disturbed. Barry understands her frustration: she really did have a rough week and had been hinting at wanting to steal away from the kids for some stress relieving alone time.
"I'm sorry, alright?" he mumbles over his shoulder irritably. "I put a movie on for them. This...wasn't part of the plan."
Iris sighs exasperatedly. "You are so lucky we didn't get as far as last time when you panicked and actually pulled out of me as fast as you did." She shudders at the memory.
"Why do you always bring that up?" Barry defends. "It was one time!"
"I was sore for weeks! You ripped-"
She seems to catch herself, facing the twins again with a gauging, anxious laugh.
The twins look back and forth between Barry and Iris, confusion still apparent on their tiny faces.
Dawn blinks before breaking the awkward silence to address the real elephant in the room: "How come Daddy is always on top of you Mo-"
"Okayyy!" Barry cuts her off, clapping his hands together. "Who wants ice cream?"
"Me, me, me!" Dawn and Don jump up and down in unison, each taking one of Barry's hands, as he leads them toward the door, grateful for their raging appetites and easy distractibility.
He halts on the way out, turning back to Iris, looking her straight in the eye: "I promise you, tonight, I will make you forget your own name."
She glares at him skeptically, until Dawn's matter-of-fact voice sounds from the hallway: "Her name is Mommy, Daddy.
The two of them dissolve into laughter, with Barry following the twins and Iris throwing her head back against the pillows, only recovering enough to clutch her chest and holler after him, "You'd better bring me a scoop of mint chocolate chip!"