"Okay guys, listen up because I'm only going to repeat myself once"!
Somewhere within an old house in the middle of a swamp, a group of crocodiles surrounded a map of the Valley of peace pinned down to an old small wooden table with rocks. The small room that they were housed in was rather dark, so in order to see the map, all five crocs had to get as close as they could to look at it. In fact they were so close that their snouts were touching the top of the table.
The largest croc, Fung, the one wearing an old spiked helmet, pointed to the map.
"Thanks to our latest intel, we now know that the Furious five are out of town for the next few days! This will give us the best chance to rob the stores that carry the most income here, here and here"! He spoke loudly, indicating each stores position with his finger.
"Uhh, where"? Another croc asked. This one was much thinner and was known as Fung's right hand man. His name Gahri, or as everybody else called him, Gary. Fung sighed at the crocs question.
"Alright. Okay, you see my finger Gary? Huh? do you"? He asked, waving his hand right next to Gahri's face. Any closer and he'd have been slapping his eye balls.
"Yes"?
"Alright now watch closely"
He put his finger on one area of the map, going over it slowly. "Here"! And another. "Here"! and the last one. "And he"-
"Yes, I know WHERE we're robbing, but... what are the names of the stores we're robbing, cause I can't exactly make out the writing"?
"For pete's sake Gary! Didn't they teach you how to read back in elementary?! We're robbing... uh...well, um... you know, this store. Ya know? Cause this store is really important, and"...
The fact that there was little light within the room to begin with made it exceptionally hard to make out any of the small worded Chinese writing above each store that was housed inside the land of the Valley of Peace. After a few seconds of trying to make out the writing, Fung grabbed it and pulled it off the table causing the stones holding it in place to fall to the ground.
After very close inspection, in which Fung's snout was pressed into the middle of the map just so he could try and view the writing for himself, which ended up in vain, he groaned in frustration and opened the front door to the room in which the light from outside could enter. The only problem being that it stopped before it could reach the table.
"Darn it"! Fung snapped in frustration before attempting to pull the table forwards on his own. Little did he know that the legs of the table had been bolted down months back. Eventually after digging his heels into the floor, pulling and wheezing for a full minute, in which none of his croc henchmen bothered to help out and just simply watched the scene being played out before them, Fung decided to give up and put a couple of fingers between his eyes, thinking on how to solve this simple problem.
"Okay"... He turned from the table to the group. "Everyone on me"!
So after some brainstorming, the problem had been solved, and by solved I mean to say that Fung just simply laid the map on the floor where the light shone through while his follow bandits did their best to peek over his shoulder, the plan was back in action.
"Now as I was saying! We're going to rob these, I repeat, THESE! Three stores"! He pointed to each one for a good five seconds to make sure that there would be no more confusion among the bandits, especially Gahri. "Now remember guys, strength in numbers! We need to rob each store one at a time in order to show those snooty shopkeepers who the boss is around here! Now"-
Fung paused. There was a constant being going "Ooh ooh" While raising his hand into the air, eager to get something off of his chest. Any guesses on who that certain croc was?
"What now Gary"?
"It's just that, if we rob one store at a time, don't you think there'll be more of a chance of us getting caught"? Gahri asked, doing what he could to help out his leader. However after Fung glaring at him and stood up to face him angrily, he wished he hadn't said a word.
"Oh, I'm sorry Gary! Do YOU want to be the leader"? He snapped while Gahri held his hands up in front of him in an effort to defend himself if necessary as he spoke back.
"No, I just think that"-
"Oh, you don't? That's a shame". Fung spoke sarcastically. "Cause I always wanted for you to be the brave leader while I be the nosy little right hand man, THAT ALWAYS INTERRUPTS EVERY TEN SECONDS"! He yelled, nearly covering Gahri with spit before spinning back round and returning to the map.
"Now if there are no further interruptions"-
"FUNG, WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE"?
Fung face palmed upon hearing an elderly woman's voice from upstairs calling down.
"MOM! WE'RE BUSY PLANNING STUFF"!
Fung didn't exactly have a lair or a hideout or any type of structure that other villains and bandits had. Instead he and his gang was forced to use his parent's basement. Whenever Gahri had ever asked Fung when they'd be moving out and getting a real hideout, Fung would always snap at him, sometimes throwing his helmet to the ground depending on whether they had come back from the valley of peace after pulling another UN-successful heist, and always told him that it was temporary. The first time he had said that was three years ago and the only change was the pink flower wallpaper which had been added six months back.
"ALRIGHT THEN! LOVE YOU SON"!
"YEAH, LOVE YOU TOO MOM"! Fung yelled back, pulling his helmet down a little to cover his eyes from his fellow crocs in embarrassment as they tried their best not to laugh.
"Gahh, you guys are like, so childish". He pouted.
"Alright. NOW if there are no further interruptions"! He paused for a moment and looked in every direction, almost certain that somebody, somewhere, was going to interrupt him. After hearing nothing but sweet peaceful silence, he continued.
"Gary and Waldon are my back up (I don't know the names of any of the crocs except for Fung and Gahri, so for future reference the other three crocs will be known as Waldon, Sheldon and Jed until further notice) While Sheldon and Jed keep a lookout for the Dragon warrior should he show up".
Fung then pointed to the road out of town.
"If he does, Jed will take this route and distract him while the rest of us move onto the remaining stores if any. Once we've collected all the money, anybody want to take a guess on what we're gonna spend it on, hm? Anyone"?
"Will I be able to buy that second story about the milkmaid and the stable boy"?
This time, Fung went ahead and threw his helmet to the ground, sick of his right hand's stupid answers and questions.
"NO! We'll finally have enough money to"...
"Buy a hideout"? The smaller croc, Sheldon, took a guess.
"RENT! Rent a hideout guys! I mean, come on! What, you think I'm made of money here? Gahh"...
"Ohh"... All four Crocs sighed, their sudden enthusiasm gone as though it had been sucked out with a vacuum. Fung ignored it and continued.
"Not to mention that if we pull this off, it'll be our first successful heist in years! At last I'll be able to prove to my dad that I don't need a job at his terracotta warrior shop! YOU HEAR THAT DAD? I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY"!
A moment of silence passed.
"FUNG, YOUR FATHER DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE, REMEMBER"? Fung's mother shouted out, killing the mood.
"Gahh... Yea mom, I know"! Fung turned back to the group of Crocs. "Okay guys! Let's do this"!
As that was the signal, every single croc yelled before charging out the door and running up the stairs like a stampeded of wild buffalo. Apart from Fung who had been accidentally flattened into the ground thanks to his over eager group who had been standing behind him the whole time. Stunned at first, he managed to push himself back onto his feet, readjusted his helmet before running after his gang calling out for them to slow down as they emerged from the old house and down the murky catwalk which led out of the swamp. The heist was in effect.
...
I got the idea for this story watching Achievement Hunters Heist series so most of the credit should go to Rooster teeth here.
I'm not exactly too good at humor so be warned, this story might suck a little.
Moving on, I hope I was able to capture the silliness and personalities of all the croc bandits. It took some time to watch some of the episodes that feature them so I had to "technically" go into a bit of research for this one. Even so, I hope you enjoyed reading the first chapter of the story. There will be another one or two after this, I really haven't decided just yet. But as long as you guys were entertained that's all that matters to me.
Thanks for reading. Cheerio!