I sat at my desk trying to figure out how to tell Jonny. Sean was right, I had to tell him before it was all around the hospital and someone else told him. He deserved better. He didn't deserve me, all m good at is breaking people hearts. There was a knock at the door which brought me out of my thought. An average size man walked in and closed the door behind him.
"Hello beautiful, how are you?" He came over placing kiss on my cheek and a coffee and a muffin on my desk. I looked at him, my face went white. I got up and quickly ran to the toilet. As I was emptying my stomach of last nights booze and food Jonny came in. He opened the toilet door as I was in to much of a rush to close it. He looked at me "oh sweetie" he pulled my hair back out of my face as I continued to vomit. I didn't deserve him, he was kind, sweet and just perfect. Once I stopped I sat on the cold dirty floor leaning against the cubicle wall. He bent down so he was looking at me "you okay Jac? You still look really pale. C'mon I will take you home"
"No I'm fine, I just had a bit to much to drink last night"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" I said, not meaning to sound so blunt or angry but I couldn't help it. I got up and stormed of leaving Jonny in the women's toilets in shock.
After doing an important procedure on my peads patient I sat at the Nurses' station waiting for Jonny. He walked up behind me. "Jac, what's up? You've been acting funny all day, well for a few weeks now?" He asked me concerned. He sat on a wheel chair opposite me.
"Its nothing, I'm just tired. What you doing tonight?" He wheeled his chair over to me so I was between his legs. He placed his hands on my legs.
"Nothing, but I have an idea" he said winking at me.
"Good, do you want to go for a drink? I think we need to talk"
"Yeah sure, after we can go back to mine and have an afternoon delight" I couldn't help but laugh at him.
Once I had got out of my scrubs I sat for a moment in the locker room trying to think what I was going to say. I thought it was not or never so I put my coat on and grabbed my stuff. I was so nervous I didn't want to tell him but I knew I had to. I made my way to the entrance taking the stairs so I had time to think about it. I walked outside and saw Jonny standing in the rain. 'God he looks sexy' I though. I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. He looked at me then down at his hand and then me again. We were both surprised I held his hand, I never wanted a public relationship with him but I think this could have been the start. I squeezed his hand as I never wanted to let go. We started walking.
"So the pub or do you just want to go back to mine and grab a bottle of wine on the way?" He said looking at me. I stopped in the garden area.
"We need to talk first Jonny"
"What did Hanssen want? Did he say something about us?" He had worry in his eyes, he though Hanssen might have said something seeing as I barged into her office like that. I looked at him sadly.
"Yes but no" he looked confused. "He knows about us but that's not it"
"So what did he want?"
"To congratulate me on the operation" I couldn't say it, I didn't want to break his heart. He already looked upset.
"Oh, well you did great Ms Naylor. I'm proud of you baby" he said with a smile and kissed me on the cheek.
"And he offered a course for me to go on" he look at me proudly. "In Japan" I thought if I told him this he I wouldn't have to tell him the truth.
"Ohh, you said yes right?" I nodded sadly. "That's great Jac" I froze, 'what' I thought. "He offered me to accompany you and I said yes" I looked at him with sadness. "Its perfect. C'mon let's go and celebrate" he grabbed my hand again but I let go.
"Jonny that's not all" I had to tell him. "Did you mean it when you said you wanted to forget about the past?" He nodded, tears came to my eyes. "I... I.. I slept with Sean... Last night" he looked at me with pure anger. He was furious.