You open up your laptop, and pull up TrollTube. You open up your account, and hit the necessary buttons to change your username.
For on this day of extreme badassery, you are going to actually get around to changing your TrollTube name to Karkat Vantas, instead of just calling yourself Nubbyhorns23.
You aren't really sure what you were thinking when you made the account. You had been rather tired at the time.
Username: Karkat Vantas is taken.
What.
The.
Fuck.
You are pissed. You are beyond your usual state of pissed-offedness. You are seriously, royaly, pissed. In a "Kill someone with a rusty spork" sort of way. Not a Kissimestitude. Just pissynesss. I mean, some freak was pretending to be you, and now you can'teven use your own name on Trolltube- oh sweet cod, there was someone impersonating you. There was someone impersonating you. There was some fucker pretending to be you right now.
If that doesn't make a troll paraniod, then nothing else will.
You sigh angrily, before switching programs to Trollian.
PESTERLOG
carnicoGenescist began trolling terminallyCapricious at 2:07 AM
CG: HEY.
CG: GAMZEE.
CG: YOU THERE DUDE?
CG: FUCKING SAY SOMETHING.
TC: sUp My MoThErFuCkInG bRoThEr.
CG: WHATS YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME?
TC: ePiC jUgGaLlO13
TC: wHy
CG: DON'T FUCKING ASK QUESTIONS.
CG: HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO USE YOUR ACTUAL NAME?
TC: yEaH
TC: oNcE
TC: bUt GaMzEe MaKaRa WaS tAkEn AlReAdY.
CG: COD FUCKING DAMN.
TC: cOd? YoUvE bEeN tAlKiNg To FeFrI tOo MuCh.
CG: FUCK YOU.
carnicoGenescist ceased trolling terminallyCapricious at 2:13 AM
This is suspicious. Both you and Gamzee are being impersonated.
Someones going to die painfully.
It will probably involve sporks.
Still, best find out just how many of your friends are having the same coddamn issue.
PESTERLOG
CarnicoGenescist began trolling twinArmageddons at 2:15 AM
CG: HEY
CG: SOLLUX
TA: what do you want
CG: UGH, FINALLY.
CG: WHAT'S YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME?
TA: uh
TA: why do you care
CG: SHUT UP AND ANSWER.
TA: iit ii2 2eriiou2ly none of your bui22ne22
CG: OH MY COD
CG: I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
CG: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION FUCKASS.
TA: fiine
TA: my trolltube name ii2 epichackercaptor
CG: EPICHACKERCAPTOR?
TA: epichackercaptor
CG: THAT IS SO FREAKING RETARDED.
TA: 2hut up
TA: ii wa2 goiing two make iit my actual name
TA: but 2ollux captor was taken.
CG: THE PLOT THICKENS.
TA: what
CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling twinArmageddons at 2:19 AM
Right, that is probably the awesomest TrollTube name you have ever heard. Not that you'll ever admit it, but still. Epichackercaptor.
Epic.
Hacker.
Captor.
Brilliant, just brilliant.
You will never speak of this again.
But still, his actual name was being taken. That is a worrisome fact. Then again, Gamzee, Sollux and yourself are probably the only trolls worth impersonating on Alternia. The only thing to do now is to check with someone that everybody hates, that nobody with a functioning thinkpan would ever want to impersonate. The troll that will never fill a quadrant (or a bucket).
Eridan.
Fucking.
Ampora.
Cod, you hate your life.
PESTERLOG
CarnicoGenescist began trolling caliguousAquarium at 2:21 AM
CG: HEY
CG: ASSHOLE
CG: FISHBREATH
CA: wwhat do you wwant lowwblood
CA: or wwhatevver your blood colour is
CG: FUCK YOU
CG: I WAS JUST WONDERING
CG: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME
CA: ah, interested in my wwork?
CA: i'vve made sevveral vvideos detailing my incredible skills
CG: I DON'T FUCKING CARE
CG: JUST TELL ME YOUR FUCKING NAME
CA: fin
CA: my trolltube name is fishprince23
CA: i wwould havve used my actual name
CA: but eridan ampora was taken
CG: ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW
CG: LATER BULGE HEAD
CA: that wwas loww
CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling caliguousAquarium at 2:25 AM
Cod you hate talking to him! Not is a kissemis way. Just in a plain old hate sort of way. At least he doesn't know your blood colour. If he found out, that prick would never stop bitching about your mutant blood, and how it made him superior. Friggen douchebag ocean-prince.
But still, this is a worrying fact. Even finface is being impersonated.
Wait, maybe it's a matter of blood caste? Gamzee and Ampora both rank up at the very top, and you and Sollux are both just that freaking awesome that trolls might want to pretend to be you. Only one thing left to do. Check on lowest blood, apart from yours. And by that you mean Aradia.
PESTERLOG
CarnicoGenescist began trolling apocalypseAsiren at 2:31 AM
CG: HEY ARADIA
AA: hell0 karkat.
AA: h0w are y0u
CG: PISSED-OFF
AA: as always
CG: FUCK YOU
CG: WHATS YOUR TROLLTUBE NAME
CG: IF YOU EVEN HAVE ONE
AA: yes i have a tr0lltube acc0unt
AA: my username is ramses89
AA: i tried to make it aradia medig0
AA: but it was taken
AA: im 0kay with that
CG: HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARADIA
CG:YOU'RE OKAY WITH ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EVERYTHING
CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling apocalypseAsiren at 2:33 AM
So, it's not a matter of blood castes, or sheer awesomeness. Maybe they were all just being impersonated blindly? But who would want to do that? You really aren't sure who could be so bored as to have nothing better to do then impersonate a bunch of troll kids, and- Nepeta.
It's probably Nepeta.
PESTERLOG
CarnicoGenescist began trolling arsenicCatnip is 2:37 AM
CG: SUP NEPETA
AC: :33 *ac saunters from her dark cave, sl33py from her recent kill*
CG: NO. FUCK NO. THERE IS TO BE NO ROLEPLAYING UP IN THIS BITCH.
CG: NONE. AT ALL.
AC: :33 oh fine karkitty.
AC: :33 your no fun
CG: I SWEAR TO COD
CG: IF YOUCALL ME KARKITTY ONE MORE TIME
CG: MY SHIT WILL BE FLIPPED
CG: MY SHIT WILL DO A FUCKING TRIPLE BACKFLIP
CG: WIN A CODDAMN MEDAL
CG: AND THEN LAND ON YOUR BODY
CG: BECAUSE I WILL HAVE BRUTALLY MURDERED YOU
AC: :33 so anyways
AC: :33 what do you want from me on this pawsome day
CG: THAT PUN WAS HORRIBLE
AC: :33 not my best work
CG: HOW MANY TROLLTUBE ACCOUNTS DO YOU HAVE?
AC: :33 twelve
AC: :33 one fur each of us
CG: HOLY SHIT
CG: YOU REALLY ARE IMPERSONATING US ON TROLLTUBE
AC: :33 this suprises you how
CG: TOUCHE
CG: WILL DEMANDING YOU TO CUT IT THE FUCK OUT HAVE ANY EFFECT?
AC: :33 nope!
CG: DIDN'T THNK SO
CG: IM GOING TO GO FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED
CG: LATERS
CG: YOU SCARY FUCKING CAT
AC: :33
CarnicoGenescist ceased trolling arsenicCatnip is 2:48 AM