The readers had started something, by clicking that link to the story "MARY-SUE FROM HELL", in the vague interest that it required. The author owned nothing in the story, save whatever sick and twisted characters she chose to insert, and surely there would be one after a title like that. The readers fully expected to become bored and leave within four lines of beginning, good and ready to click the 'back button'. A gap between the first paragraph and the second marked the beginning of the actual fan fiction. They began to read.
On a well-known beach that formed part of a well-known island, a well-known event was taking place. In any case, well known to us.
"So I said to him, you ca-"
"You said what?" Riku and Sora were taking an early-morning stroll along the beach, and Sora was giving Riku an account of what had happened between him and Tidus the other day. Riku was only half-listening, staring up at the pink-tinged sky. He took notice when Sora stopped talking. The reason soon became apparent.
"What do you think it is, Riku?" The pristine line of the sand was broken by a dark shape, obviously left there when the tide went out. Riku and Sora approached it cautiously. It was at that moment that countless fanfiction trawlers groaned in recognition, and Sora realised that it was a person, washed up on the beach and unconscious.
"Gee, I dunno, Sora," Riku replied sarcastically, crouching beside the young woman. Another collective cry went up from the readers as the girl's features came into view. Her hair was blonde; a startling white-blonde shock of hair that attractively tumbled down to her lower back, held off her face by a scarlet band around her forehead. Her attire was rather odd, but as the readers knew, entirely appropriate for the situation.
She was wearing a strange, tattered coat-like… thing, quite like the one worn by Vincent from Final Fantasy, exactly the same colour, just way more worn and torn. She wore nothing underneath except a black miniskirt, however, so a wide, black leather belt at her waist held the coat taut enough to keep it- and her breasts- in one place. Her navel was clearly visible above the belt.
Her black leather knee-boots were both protected by a moulded silver shin guard, and a similar guard adorned her right arm. There was a string of five blood-red gems around her neck.
"Whoa." Was Sora's first reaction. Riku's was a little more articulate.
"Interesting. I wonder why she's unconscious though? Do you think she's hurt?" Sora shrugged.
"Maybe. In any case, we can't leave her here- let's find her a bed somewhere." Riku nodded and- with little difficulty- managed to hoist the girl into his arms. Something which neither boy had noticed- but now was quite obvious- was that the girl had been lying on a pretty darn huge, and rather nasty-looking sword, with chips and scratches all over it. The handle was moulded for a perfect grip with two hands.
"Cool!" exclaimed Sora, lifting the sword off the sand. "Reckon it belongs to, uh, her?" Riku shrugged.
"Probably." Sora inspected the sword carefully.
"It's been through a lot—hey, look! There, near the handle… there's something engraved on the blade. It says… 'Meshuga'. Maybe it's her name?" Riku cocked an eyebrow.
"Maybe. It'll do for now," And they left, in search of a bed wherein they could stash their prize.