Title: Frozen Ocean
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any shape or form. This is a purely fan made story and I do not make any profit from it. All characters in this story belong to Misashi Kishimoto.
The lyrics used in this song-fic belong to Shiny Toy Guns, and I make no claim to ownership of them.
Claimer: This story is 100% mine, and any copy or reproduction of this story will not be tolerated. Please respect my Creative Commons license and do not copy, alter or redistribute my work. Thank you.
Summary: After the death of Jiraiya, Tsunade is left to wonder what will happen now that he's gone, and how she will handle Naruto's feelings for this news as well. Left to cope, the two will find a deeper friendship for each other than what they currently have. Mother/Son relationship, angst, bonding fic.
I can't sleep…
Tsunade rolled continuously in her bed as she tried to fall asleep under the glow of the pale yellow moon, but her eyes wouldn't stay shut, or she just couldn't get into a comfortable position and stay there; her mind was a mess for the past few days, and her sleeping pattern was starting to reflect that.
I've lost the urge to sing…
Naruto was once happy and overjoyed, but for the past few days he's been depressed and far from his usual self. Tsunade had never seen the poor boy cry before, but when she saw it for the first time; she never wanted to see it ever again. She wanted her favorite boy to sing and dance around and be the happy child that he once was.
No one's left a friend…
He'd spent so many years training to bring Sasuke back to the village, but no matter how hard he tried, the Kyuubi host was just one step behind the Uchiha prodigy. Both of them had become fated rivals from the start, and the minute that Naruto met Sasuke had sealed that for them. One who never knew his parents, and one who had seen his parents' murdered bodies lying at the feet of his older brother; fate had made them polar opposites.
The cost of ill pretend…
Tsunade herself had known of Naruto and Sasuke's predetermined fate, and had refused to agree with it the moment Kushina Uzumaki had announced her pregnancy, nearly a month after Mikoto Uchiha had announced hers. She could pretend to go along with that fate, but what would be the point in the end?
Where'd you go?
I need you now.
She stared up at the ceiling in her office, slowly sipping on a cup of herbal tea. Her mind was elsewhere now… it was with her lover, her brother, and now her best friend… Fate hadn't been kind to them either, and pretty soon it could come for her as well. But she would be damned if she was going to let Kami-sama take her away from Naruto now.
Ten thousand miles apart,
A frozen ocean joins our hearts
I can't wait to meet you when…
"How could you die so stupidly Jiraiya?" She asked to her now deceased friend and teammate. It seemed like only yesterday he was trying to hit on her yet again. You would think that with all of the beatings she'd given him he would have stopped by now, but apparently not.
The frozen waves meet ocean floors
You'll be standing on the shore
I can't wait to meet you then…
"Tsu-chan… Are you in here?" Tsunade's head shot towards her door just as it opened.
"Come in Naru-kun." She said as she stood up from her chair and placed her tea down on her desk. It seemed like only yesterday Naruto was still calling her baa-chan. As if on cue, he collapsed into her arms and buried his face into her shoulder. Moments later, small sobs escaped his throat; she held him tighter.
I still dream…
'I'm gonna be the Hokage someday! Believe it!' Was a sentence that Tsunade had become fond of hearing from the usual ball of energy that was now sobbing into her shoulder while they were both sitting on the wooden floor of her office; now that sentence isn't even released from his lips anymore… The poor boy was still shaken by the news; just as she still was.
But what should I believe?
She stopped believing in dreams a long time ago, back when her brother was killed, and then again when her lover was killed. When she met Naruto, she thought she could freely dream again and believe that things would change for the better, but now, Jiraiya had been killed as well, and Naruto's hopes and dreams had gone with him.
"I miss him Tsu-chan…" He whispered hoarsely as he wrapped his arms just a tad tighter around her waist.
"I know Naru-kun… I know…" Was all she could say before tears started to sting her eyes as well. She gently rubbed the back of his head and held him closer yet again… He was, after all, the only one that she had left besides Sakura and Shizune.
Frozen shapes to bend…
She gently rocked him back and forth, humming a soft lullaby that her mother had once sung to her when she was a young child. What better time to bring that song back up then now, when someone else needed its comforting sound just as much as she did that very moment. He continued to cry for a few minutes more before his body suddenly became heavier and his breathing slowed as well. She lowered his head down to her lap and gently brushed his spiky blond hair with her fingers.
Impossible sets in…
"Jiraiya… I need you here… You stubborn, old fool." She said softly as she held Naruto's hand in her own, caressing his rough skin with her own smooth skin. He smiled under her affectionate touch; having no mother of his own to have done so in the past fifteen years.
"He still needs your guidance Jiraiya… I can't do it alone." She continued, looking back up to the ceiling, expecting him to answer her soft pleas. A gentle wind blew in through the window and surrounded the two of them, swirling around them for mere seconds before disappearing again.
Lost again
Still alone…
As soon as the wind faded, Tsunade smiled to herself… She knew it was him, and that he would always be watching over the two of them. But her smile soon faded back into a soft frown, distorting her delicate features once more.
"You idiot…" She said softly as the tears slowly fell down her cheeks; she wiped them away with the side of her hand.
Ten thousand miles apart
A frozen ocean joins our hearts
I can't wait to meet you when…
Naruto's eyes opened when he felt the shaking from Tsunade's crying, and he slowly sat up and wrapped his arms around her; she fell into his chest and sobbed.
"It'll be ok Tsu-chan… He's watching us now, along with my parents…" He said softly as he gently rubbed her back.
"I know…" She said as she sat back up again. Her eyes were red and puffy, but the tears that she was going to wipe away herself were already gone, and Naruto had just pulled his hand back from her cheek.
"Thank you… Naru-kun…" She whispered as she hung her head for a few minutes.
The frozen waves meet ocean floors
You'll be standing on the shore
I can't wait to meet you then…
He slowly stood back up off of the floor and extended his hand to Tsunade, who took it, and pulled her up from the floor.
"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" He asked as he looked to the older blond woman before him.
"There's still a lot of paperwork to do…" She said as she looked back to the mound of papers on her desk.
"I'll do it… You go home." He said with a soft smile as he looked into her amber eyes. She smiled and nodded her head before wrapping her arms around him and placing a gentle kiss on his whisker-marked cheek. She left the building only minutes later.
I can't wait…
She hung her head as she walked through the village, alone and almost broken, but still holding on to her three glimmers of hope left in the village: Naruto, Sakura and Shizune. Soon, Naruto would take her place as Hokage, Shizune would take her place as the head of the hospital, and Sakura would be her underling.
I can't wait…
Naruto watched her walk from the roof of the Mansion, and he felt sorry that she had to go through this; especially considering that the same thing had happened to her twice before. Her lover and her brother had both been killed for protecting the village, and neither of them was able to meet their dreams before death.
"I'll cheer her up tomorrow…" He said as she disappeared into her home and he disappeared back into the office.
I can't wait…
Sakura had seen the look on her mentor's face as she passed the main entrance of the hospital, and it tore her heart apart as she watched her walk slowly passed the doors with tears in her eyes. Sakura wanted to go to her, wanted to help ease her pain, but the grievance period was something that needed to be handled alone… And Sakura had to abide to that rule as she turned away from the door to help Shizune with some more patients before they both left for the night.
I can't wait...
I can't wait…
I can't wait…
I can't wait…
Tsunade opened a small chest in her bedroom and pulled out a small album. Opening the cover, she gently traced Jiraiya's face from their team photo. She stared at it longingly and sighed.
"I should have never let you go…" She said softly as she ran her fingernail over his face again.
It took everything she had to not breakdown and cry, but sheer willpower and strength weren't working as well as she had hoped.
She finally snapped.
The frozen waves meet ocean floors
You'll be standing on the shore
I can't wait to meet you then…
Naruto walked up the stairs to Tsunade's bedroom, as he had done many times in the past. Gently placing his ear to the door, he heard her faint breathing and then slowly pushed the door open so not to wake her. She was lying on her bed with a photo album next to her and one of Jiraiya's shirts in her arms. Naruto sighed, walked into her room, and closed the photo album; placing it back into the small chest. He sat back down on the bed and gently brushed her hair out of her face, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.
Ten thousand miles apart
A frozen ocean joins our hearts
I can't wait to meet you when…
In her dreams she was with him again, and she was completely happy and content, even if she would have to wake up again eventually. For now, she would be content with being able to see him and touch him in her dreams.
"I've missed you, you stubborn, old fool…" She said softly as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.
"And for all these years I thought you hated me." He said with a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Far from it… I actually loved you…" She said as her tears fell onto his rough skin.
"Tsunade… You don't have to cry…" He said as he pulled back and looked deep into her amber irises.
"How am I going to make it without you?" She asked as she looked into his obsidian eyes.
"You will… You're strong. And I love you more than anything, including life itself." He said softly as he kissed the diamond mark on her forehead.
"But it won't be the same without you…" She said as she held his hand in hers.
"I know you'll do alright… You've got Naruto after all." He said softly as he brought his hand up to her cheek; wiping away tears with his thumb.
"I guess you're right…" She said as she nuzzled into the touch of his hand; the warmth radiated off of him.
"You'll have to go soon, but I'll see you again when you dream…" He said as he pulled his hand away from her cheek and just held hers.
"I don't even want to leave… But I have to…" She said as she looked down to the floor of her dream.
"I'll always be here Tsunade… Even if you can't see me, I'm always with you." He said softly as he kissed her forehead again.
The vision started to blur just slightly as she started to wake up.
"I have to go… But I'll be back for you Jiraiya." She said as she let go of his hand and he waved.
"I know Hime. I know." He said as he disappeared from view.
Her eyes flew open and she rolled onto her back, only now noticing the shift in weight on her bed. Looking to her left she understood why. Poor Naruto had come to check on her last night and fallen asleep. She rolled onto her left side and stroked his hair away from his eyes, kissing him ever so slightly on his forehead.
"Thank you… Naru-kun…" She said as she slowly closed her eyes and fell back to sleep once more.