So I actually started writing this Monday night and normally non smutty oneshots don't take long at all but like...the end scene of 3.21 just really got to me. Like I'm feeling things so intense I honestly don't think I can convey my thoughts on it, and here I am trying to get into Paige Dineen of all people's head to write about it. I don't relate to Paige much at all, and I always find her so difficult to write, and I'm tackling the most emotionally challenging oneshot I've written in a long time from her perspective. I don't know why I do this to myself. But anyway, this is what I managed to put on paper, so to speak, so I hope you guys enjoy it!
I know you didn't mean to. But you must have really broken his heart.
He's asked her to dance. She took his heart and broke it to bits and yet here he is, reaching out to her again. She doesn't respond right away. She can't believe they're actually getting a second chance.
The hand he offers her isn't the hand they'll hold when they dance, but she takes it as she hops off the desk.
She doesn't look at him at first. She can't. Not after what he said. About looking into her eyes.
Okay. He wasn't actually talking about her eyes. No. That was Schrodinger.
That's when love made sense to him. When he looked into her eyes.
For a moment, when he said that, Paige wouldn't have been able to speak if her life depended on it.
And now she's in his arms. Well, not exactly the picture that one thinks of when they hear that sentence, but they're dancing and you hold each other when you dance. Their fingers are linked and his other arm tucks under hers. She remembers the last time they did this, how he didn't know where to put his hand, how he took several minutes for his posture to relax. It's not like that this time. This time, they fall into it like they've done this hundreds of times before.
The hand on his shoulder strokes it, once, absentmindedly. Their fingers flex against each other. She glances at him. His expression is tranquil, almost happy.
Paige lets out a shaky sigh, sliding her arm farther around him. They're almost touching now, shoulders to knees. She feels his hand adjust slightly on her back. Their eyes meet.
God, this feels nice. This feels nicer than anything has felt in a long time. Paige remembers when they stood at the beach, sending his sister to the stars, fingers linked, shifting closer until their arms bumped, her head eventually resting on his shoulder.
Paige blinks. Why is she thinking of that now? Was that the last time something had felt this right?
This feels more than right. It feels like a homecoming, like the final piece in a complex puzzle that had never been guaranteed solvable is being nudged into place. They'd barely been friends late last year and now they're swaying to a romantic remix of Dem Bones and she's smiling and so is he and she thinks her knees might buckle any moment and her heart is pounding and the thought that's circling in her brain as they circle on the floor is this is it.
They don't speak. Last time they chatted, joked...at least they had at first. Eventually they'd both fallen silent, eyes locked on each other, moving together fluidly until the host had cut in. Not this time. This time they're completely alone.
Her eyes flicker down to his lips. She knows what they feel like on hers. They kissed almost right here in this very spot over a year ago now. She still thinks about it, sometimes, how she'd felt that kiss through her entire body and could barely stand afterward. She wishes she had the courage to kiss him now – or that he would kiss her. She wonders how it all would feel if they didn't stop, if they kept kissing, if he brushed her hair back, if she pressed up against him and felt his arms around her and held his face in place until they were both breathless.
Her lips part slightly, she needs more air as is, just thinking about it, and she draws in another shaky breath and steps still closer. Their hips bump. His eyes are almost mesmerizing. She sees something in them that she wants to keep seeing. He's making her weak in all the ways she wants. She's always been fascinated by his eyes, and a little scared that she might get lost in them, but she knows that after tonight, after what he said, it was all more intense and she will never look into them them the same way again.
Paige realizes the music had stopped, and she tenses slightly, afraid he will notice. She doesn't want this to stop. She can't imagine stepping out of his arms right now. Special friends, she'd said to him, barely two months ago. Puh. That isn't what this is. She knows what this is. She's been here before.
She's in love. She's in love with the man she's here with and they're alone in a dark garage dancing to silence and she closes her eyes and smiles, thanking anyone and anything that might be responsible for them being here right now. After everything they've been through, after fights and other relationships and unfair expectations, it all came back to the two of them. She tightens her hold on his hand. He squeezes back as their eyes meet again.
They come to a stop, standing still, barely any space between them. His eyes are locked on hers. She looks at his lips again, half hoping he can't tell her legs are shaking and half hoping he can.
"The, uh," he blurts after a moment, "the s – song's over."
"Yeah," she says, flushing pink as they both chuckle. "I think it works," she adds. "F – for dancing."
"Yeah," he says. "It's...it's good. Really good."
"Yeah." Her voice is soft. She licks her lips, nods. "Yeah, really good."
He nods. They keep staring at one another. He's still got his hand in the small of her back and she's still got her arm around his shoulder. She feels his fingers flex around hers again.
"We're really, uh, we're killing these Best Ma'am and Dude of Honor duties, huh?" he says with a smile, letting go of her hand and taking the smallest of shuffles back. She gave an amused smirk and shook her head, brushing a lock of hair back behind her ear. She smiles back. "Wedding partners in crime!"
"Exactly." He looks happy. She's made him happy. This made him happy. She wonders again if she should kiss him. She wants to.
No.It's too soon, too early, this was nice and she doesn't want to push too far and maybe she's overthinking it but she's feeling the rush, that feeling when everything she's ever wanted is falling together. She doesn't want to mess this up. Not when they're this close. Not when it feels as if they're about to really start something.
She does reach out, briefly placing a hand on the side of his face and smiling. "You did good with the song, Walter. And with giving them dance lessons. I'm really proud of you."
She wonders if he's pressing his cheek against her hand of if she's imagining it. He smiles again, that look – that look – returning to his eyes. It lingers. Paige lets it.
Then she sighs. "I uh, I should really..."
"Yeah." He's still smiling. "Yeah, I know."
"I'll...I'll see you tomorrow?"
"I'll be here."
The smile returns to Paige's face, and she feels her cheeks flush again. "Okay."
"Have a good night."
"Yeah. You too."
Her step is light as she leaves the garage. As if she's floating. She hasn't felt like that in a long time, either. But she knows what it is. And this is what it's supposed to feel like.
The end.