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Large hands skimmed my shoulders slowly, fluidly, they began their decent moving down either side of my body, a fire-like sting flushed my body, akin to the sensation of hot water on frost-bitten skin. Grasping my hips he pulled me softly against him, my bare ass skimming his front. He was rock fucking hard. I gasped in surprise and I felt the air escape my lungs, a low and devious chuckle escaped him.
" Hmm you like that don't you?"
His deep velvet voice purred in my ear, all I could do was nod in response.
Gently he pushed himself forward, rocking his hips from behind me, teasing me he slowly... Bastard. His cock grazed my entrance and to my shame a pathetic sounding whimper escaped me. He began licking and sucking his way from the base of my shoulder, up my neck, to my earlobe sucking on in lightly. Hot open mouthed kissed encased my neck. His right hand travelled up my side, long fingers brushing against my ribcage before resting on my breast. His skilled finger worked there magic rolling and pinching my nipple making my back arch and my ass to involuntarily push against him. Hissing his speed began to increase, his hands gripping me tightly causing me to wince in pain..
Sharp nails dug into my skin and my natural instincts were telling me to move away from him but his harsh grip would not waver. The once calm atmosphere around us was once again replaced by something sinister, something eerie and other-worldly. My heart sank so low I could almost hear the last lonely beats of my heart.
Terror gripped me.
Not gold but inky-black soulless eyes bore into mine scaring me beyond belief. The cold hand on my hip was removed only to be placed in my hair and abruptly I was pushed down, my face meeting something cold and hard. Grasping my behind in one excruciating movement he slammed into me, piercing me. Horrific blood- curdling screams escaped my dry mouth. I cried and shrieked but the only thing falling from my lips were raspy whispers of air. My voice box had become mute and the more I screamed the more terrified I became. So I screamed louder.
But still nothing. Panic set in as my cries became completely frantic and in turn non-existent. Screams, my silent screams I knew would reach know one .They never did.
...
BPOV
I awoke tangled in sweat sweet covered sheets in the sweltering heat my heart pounding like a hammer to cloth, the tips of my fingers and toes buzzing with a distinctly familiar tingle. The same tingle I would always feel when I would sense them, I could smell them, taste them, touch them but was cursed to never actually see them. My faceless amber eyed lover; the sweat musky smell of mint on his breath, soap and tobacco on his clothing a musky yet warming smell. I was so attune to him I could sense when he was close or would be returning to my dreams again. He was in the air around me. And f it weren't for his visits I would have given up on sleeping a long time ago.
It was the sickest form of torture when he would leave me. An unjust, yet completely self-inflicted form of punishment. The look in his golden eyes was almost agonizing as if leaving me caused him actual physical pain. I knew it was coming as it always did because I would have to wake sometime
The man of my dreams, in my dreams. A whole new level of crazy, even for me (which was saying a hell of allot.)
Unfortunately, as with everything in my shitty life this dream was now becoming an absolute nightmare, quite literally. Up until the last few months my dreams had seemed rather frivolous and I didn't see them of being any real importance. However the appearance of the dark eyed man in my dreams was causing me some serious anxiety of late and Renee and Charlie had been worried.
Grabbing the 'dream book' I had been assigned I began franticly scribbling down every detail of this latest 'encounter'. Wow this was going to be fun discussing this with my shrink; I was blushing just thinking about it.
But tonight's 'delusion' as Dr Cullen liked to call it was further proof of the fact that Renee and Charlie had been right, sending away would be best. I should have been grateful they were sending me there and not the nearest psychiatric ward.
For the last year Charlie had wanted to send me to see someone professionally, but Renee would have none of it. She adamant that instead we try 'alternative medicines' before we even went down that path. This offcourse was all in a desperate bid to cure me, or making herself feel better. I'm still not sure which. Either way in doing so she had me attempt almost every substitute therapy known to man. Acupuncture, hypnotherapy, naturopathy and various other holistic therapies had all been part of my weekly routine. In the beginning my classes weren't so bad, in fact aromatherapy had been very relaxing and I had enjoyed it. So much so I had become quite smitten with the strawberry bath salts and oils. Crystal therapy was ok too, Renee made me a black tourmaline necklace to 'ward of negative energies' and I always have it on because it makes Charlie smile. But after failed attempt after failed attempt the more sane options were getting pretty scant and in-turn the treatments I endured became more excessively bizarre. The energy healing was one that I had particularly loathed My last session ended up involving a series of 'breathing techniques' which eventuated in me passing out from what I can only assume was hyperventilation. Offcourse my 'practitioner' at the time had assured both Charlie and Renee this was a normal and common 'side affect' of my uric energy returning to a balanced state. I quite literally had to beg them not so send me back there. Then there was the psychic healing thing, the aura reading and meditation classes.
Charlie had put his foot down after Renee had suggested 'leeching' as a last resort my psychiatrist Dr Cullen had suggested I take my current course of therapy at Saint Augustine's, a well established yet isolated reform school. This seemed like a healthy substitute (one which I was secretly grateful for) just the thought of another of Renee's crazy ideas made my skin crawl. Apparently St Augustine's was unlike that of the traditional reform school. My mind had been put at ease by Doctor Cullen that not all of the students were staying there as a result of crime there was a diverse range. Some of them because of mental illness, behavioural problems, substance abuse or where just people with social problems, outcasts among modern day society. Every summer they held an outreach program specifically designed for teens and young adults, and this is what I had signed up for.
So all things considered this current position I found myself in should have been a walk in the park. I mean would still get to take all my classes before graduation and it was mandatory that I participate in the on-site counselling sessions but I could still come and go as I pleased. I had to stick it out in this place, finish the course. It was the only option left and it made me feel both desperate and utterly alone. I had to do this not only for my sanity but for Renee's and Charlie's... O.k. maybe just for Charlie. They way he had begun to act around me was both heartbreaking and terrifying. Walking on eggshells around me constantly, willing me not to have another dream or one of my 'episodes'.
The beeping coming from my mobile pulled me out of my current reverie, putting my notebook down on my bedside table I began fumbling for the phone among my tumbled sheets. I smiled at the number on display.
"Hello."
"Hey." Rosalie mumbled.
"So last day today huh? I thought I'd better ring you before you leave. I actually had to set my alarm for this shit. Seriously? Why the fuck do they need you there at the crack of dawn anyway"
I sighed. "Rose, it's not going to be the crack of dawn by the time I get there."
"I know, I am aware of how far away Seattle is, don't remind me."
"Bella, Time to get up and get going!" Charlie said tapping on my door.
"Ok I'm up" I yelled out to him from my bed.
"I'm sorry I'll let you go Bells, but me and Jake will come and see you in a few weeks k?"
"No Rosalie, I.. I don't want to see him."
"Oh come on Bells, this wasn't his fault. Besides he feels really bad."
"I know, and I don't blame him." I said trying to convince myself more than anyone else.
I heard Rosalie sigh dramatically onto the phone.
"I'll see you in a few weeks, in the meantime we still have email, face book and we can text?" She continued.
"Ok, I better go or Charlie will be hovering at the door again." I reply
"Ok Bye. Text me later"
"Yep." Was all I could manage, hoping to hide the croak in my voice and failing miserably.
Rose had promised to come and see me in two weeks and as sad as I was to be leaving Forks it was kind of a relief. I loved my cousin she was funny, full of confidence and poise but she was the exact opposite of me and on some levels we found it hard to relate. I was told I would be going to a place where the people are in similar situations as myself, albeit not all of them would have my level of sanity and although that did scare me I knew it was the best option for everyone involved. Glancing at the clock on my phone I decided Charlie was right I did need to get up. It was freezing and I was still so tired from my anxious night's sleep but stepping into the shower the sting of the streaming hot water soon washed away my angst.
Getting out of the shower I grabbed a towel from the rack wrapping it around me and made a dash to my bedroom. Taking the clothes left on my nightstand I had prepared from the night before. I threw on my white bra and matching panties, a pair of knee high black socks along with my black skinny jeans, a charcoal shirt and a black zip up hoddie.
Then sat on the end of my bed shoving my feet into my black chucks.
"Come on Bells, Breakfast and then were going." Charlie's voice echoed below me.
"I'm coming." I replied exasperated. Gee he really can't wait to get rid of me, can he.
Heading for the door I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror. I grimaced looking at my reflection to say I looked like shit would be putting it lightly, dark bags under my eyes, pale skin, chapped lips and my hair was all over the shop. Quickly I undid my messy bun, gathering up the loose strands of hair I made my best attempt at brushing it with my fingers and tying it back, then I headed down stairs.
I walked into the kitchen to find Charlie with the coffee pot out pouring a sombre looking and very un-dressed Renee a cup. Typical. I have to rush and she is still sitting here in her dressing gown! She must have seen my reaction and quickly excused herself from the table only to return moments later, this time dressed.
We sat in almost silence on the drive all the way to Seattle. The only time anything was said had been when Renee had handed me my medication across the back seat giving me an apologetic smile. It felt like only minutes had passed when we reached the 'Seattle Washington' sign. Driving down a long gravel road I started to realise we must have been getting close to St Augustine's. The narrow path was rugged and windy, large oak tress hugged either side of the trail which made me feel isolated and claustrophobic.
" Looks like we're here." Said Charlie as we rounded a corner. The restricted road we had followed began to open within a matter of seconds we had reached a large clearing. The gravel path continued as I looked on in awe at the place I would be staying in. A large Victorian style mansion came into sight, I followed the building with my eyes looking to my left and then to my right I noticed that the structure had two separate wings. A massive and emacuatly maintained garden welcomed us in front of the building. The tinted barred windows were the only think that seemed out of place and it reeked of its own self importance. It didn't look like a reform school at all, I didn't know what I was expecting but this wasn't it. The 'residents' were lounging around outside and the mood seemed very leisurely. A bunch of scantily clad girls were sitting to the left side of the building on a blanket sunbathing. In-front of them a few guys were playing football, laughing and pretending to punch each other. Then much to Renee's amusement there were a young couple practically dry humping each other on a wooden bench which made me blush and Charlie give her worried glances. Shaking his head in distaste he parked the car in a small visitors car park at the end of the lot, I think he was trying to be inconspicuous which was pointless considering he was driving the cruiser. I saw Doctor Cullen smile as he approached us, his arms extended to Renee in greeting as Charlie began unloading my bags from the trunk.
"Welcome Bella!" He beamed as I slunk bashfully out of the car.
CRAP! Everyone and I mean EVERYONE was looking right now, how embarrassing. I smiled a silent hello to Mr Cullen.
"Welcome to St Augustine's!" He grinned.
"The grounds here are absolutely stunning." Renee replied.
"They most defiantly are Mrs Swan. Please come, let me give you the grand tour." He smiled at us as a group but taking Renee by the elbow. Slamming the trunk Charlie grabbed my suitcase chucking me my sports bag and made a bee line for Renee and Doctor Cullen who were now almost halfway across the lot. Rolling my eyes I threw the bag over my shoulder, took a deep breath and mental prepared myself for a long summer.
...
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