Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z (I asked for it for Christmas but Santa said it wouldn't fit in his sleigh.)
Brenman: This is my first fic but I think it's going to be very entertaining, it was supposed to be a stupid oneshot at first but when I began writing the outline I ended up making it much longer and completely different. Now it has a plot. Enjoy.
Chapter 1: Uncle Veggie?
It was a warm overcast evening at Capsule Corporation in west city. The double doors to the large yellow building were thrown open, spilling light across the perfectly manicured lawn of the richest family on the planet. This of course was the front yard, because the backyard, that was hidden from view of the public looked like a war zone. It had more craters then the surface of the moon.
The Son family stepped out of the doors along with Vegeta and Trunks to say their farewell after dinner. Son Gohan turned around after exiting the building, "Bye Trunks, Mr. Vegeta" Gohan said loudly. He waved at the father-son duo and received a couple of nods in return.
"Bye Trunks," Goten, who still looked like a carbon copy of his father, said looking at his best friend, "Bye Uncle Vegeta." He said, risking a cheery wave at the temperamental saiyan. Vegeta just scowled at being called 'uncle' by Kakarott's son.
"Yeah, Bye Uncle Vegeta," Goku said without thinking, as usual. Vegeta glared at Goku for a second, while everyone else sweat dropped. "Kakarott," Vegeta said slowly, as if he were talking to a young child who had yet to get a grip on the english language. "I am not your uncle. Baka" He said harshly.
"Oh, Okay..." Goku stood looking off into space for a few seconds before replying. "So, if your Gotens uncle, does that mean your my brother?"
"I am not his uncle, I am NOT your brother." Vegeta said in a failed attempt to sound patient.
"But Th-" Goku was stopped from finishing his sentence when Vegeta cut in. "Go home Kakarott. Your first brat can try to explain it to you."
Gohan looked at Vegeta not sure whether he should be exasperated, sympathetic, or irritated. "Come on dad, mom and Videl will be waiting for us."
"Right, Bye Veggie. Are we still sparring tomorrow?" Goku asked. He was completely oblivious to the fact that he had made himself look like an imbecile, again. "I can't wait to see how much stronger you've gotten since last time we fought." Goku could barely keep the excitement out of his voice as he talked about his sparring with Vegeta.
Vegeta looked at Goku as if he had shrunk by two feet and grown a couple extra heads. "You mean," He said exasperatedly, "how much stronger I've Goten since out sparring match today. Also, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me by that name." Vegeta ended his short speech by glaring at Goku so harshly that the younger saiyan should have been running away in the opposite direction, that is, if said younger saiyan wasn't completely clueless when it came to such stuff as insults, mean looks, sarcasm, and libido.
Suddenly Bulmas laughing could be heard from behind Vegeta. Vegeta growled at his peasant and turn on his heels and stormed into the house muttering about Third class Idiot clowns and something that sounded suspiciously like "Failed Kindergarten".
"Mr. Vegeta, what's kindergarten?" Goten asked innocently. Vegeta looked behind him with an amazed expression on his face as he continued walking. 'I would have thought hanging out with Trunks might have had it's benefits on this kid, but he's still a complete moron.' Vegeta thought. He was still looking behind him when he walked into the door frame and fell over into the living room. Vegeta quickly got up and hurried away from the others hoping they hadn't noticed.
Bulma looked away from Vegeta and over at Gohan. "I just put Bra to bed. Say hi to Videl and your mother for us, Gohan. It's to bad she couldn't come, but babies can be a handful."
"Was Bra that difficult to take care of when she was at six months." Gohan asked Bulma, thinking about his young daughter pan at home with his wife and mother.
Bulma looked at Gohan with a knowing look, "She could be when she wanted to. Anyway, Bye you two."
"Bye Bulma, Trunks." Goku said waving at them.
"Bye T-" Goten started, but Trunks cut him off. "Goten," he said sounding in between being annoyed and amused, "What's the matter, you suddenly don't want to stay for the sleep over we arranged."
"Oh yeah!" Goten said excitedly, and thought for a moment before looking at Bulma and saying, "unbye then". The two boys ran into the house to go play Fonix the ground hog, 'It's the fastest typing game on the planet'. At least that's what Bulma thought, Trunks actually had a copy of Mega Ultra Violent Video Game III, 'It's the goriest game on the market.'
"Goku, Gohan, don't forget, I'm hosting a barbecue for Saturday lunch." Bulma yelled at the forms of the two retreating figures as they took off into the sky towards their home in the mountains.
Goku turned around in mid air to wave at Bulma signifying that they heard her. Bulma walked inside and saw Vegeta sitting on the couch watching 'When Ninjas Attack.' on the television. "Don't stay up too late Vegeta, you know how Goku is about sparring. He'll probably show up a couple hours earlier than he's supposed to."
The only answer she got was a grunt, and so Bulma continued up to her sons room to check up on the two mischievous children, or demons as Vegeta would put it after Trunks had dyed all his training suits and gear pink. This was of course after Bulma told Trunks about making Vegeta wear that pink shirt a dozen years ago. Vegeta still hated talking about it.
Vegeta sat watching T.V. until the end of his show. The last ninja, some guy named Murasaki, had just been caught on tape falling down an open man hole cover when he tried to rob some random people. Vegeta chuckled to himself and muttered something along the lines of, "Pathetic humans, can't even rob people correctly, and I bet that idiot spent year trying to 'perfect' his moves. Numskull." Vegeta got up off the couch and began walking upstairs to his bed room "Kakarott probably could have beaten him when he was a child."
Oh. How right he was.
-- Morning --
It was a peaceful morning at Capsule Corporation. It was only six o'clock, no one was awake, the sun was barely up, and all was quiet. that is until a yell broke the silence. a yell coming from a room on the second floor of CC.
Bulma and Vegeta were woken up with a withering Goku on top of their bed. Goku, who had apparently missed his intended location with his Instant Transmission, was twisting around trying to get off them, and only succeeded in completely wrapping himself in their blanket like a butterfly in a cocoon, and then managed to roll of the bed onto the floor with a muffled "oof" and a thud. A very naked, and angry, Bulma jumped out of bed and rushed into the bathroom and shut the door while screaming at Goku to not do that again.
"Kakarott, how many times have I told you not to come into our bedroom uninvited." a naked Vegeta yelled as he picked up Goku, Blanket and all and walked over to the balcony door. Vegeta used his foot to open the door and then proceeded to tossed Goku over the railing around their balcony. Vegeta waited till he heard a very satisfying thud and a moan from the younger saiyan before he closed the door and went to put his ever present spandex on. This spandex wasn't pink. Luckily for Vegeta his new shipment of blue spandex arrived the morning before. and as such, Trunks and Goten were now allowed to eat full portions of food again.
Vegeta walked into the kitchen after getting dressed to find a large orange backside sticking out of his refrigerator. The flame haired saiyan also noticed the blanket was spread out on the counter like a table cloth, and clearly showed that Goku had used a combination of brute strength and Ki blasts to untangle himself from the offending comforter.
"Why didn't you eat breakfast at your own house?" Vegeta questioned Goku as he stood up, hitting his head on the inside of the fridge at the same time, and eliciting the third "oof" of the day from the tall saiyan.
"I did." Goku chirped as he straightened up again, rubbing the back of his head with his stupid grin on. "But I'm hungry."
"Fine then, have this." Vegeta said as he handed Goku a large mixing bowl with an entire jumbo box of Meatios, 'It's the meatiest cereal ever developed.' Goku grinned at the offered breakfast and eagerly snatched the items from Vegetas hands.
"Gee, thanks Vegeta," Goku said happily as he sat down across from Vegeta, who was pouring out on his own box of cereal. The two rivals ate in silence for the next couple of minutes. When they had finished eating Goku sat at the table with a wondering expression on his face while Vegeta threw their dishes in the sink for the crazy blond woman to clean up later. Vegeta looked at Goku for a couple of seconds .
"What problem is so complex that not even your incredible intellect can't solve in?" Vegeta spoke up sarcastically.
As stated before, Goku was impervious to sarcasm and therefore, completely oblivious to the fact that he had just been insulted. "Oh," Goku began slowly, "I was just wondering Vegeta. Have you ever had those new Sugar Frosted Marshmallow sprinkle covered Meatios?" Goku voiced innocently.
Vegeta ignored the question and stalked off to the gravity room to warm up. Goku got up slowly and followed. his friend towards their battle grounds. Goku grinned as he thought about the newest cereal on the market. 'I bet they taste really good.' he thought to him self.
Brenman: What would I do for a Klondike bar? How about what would I do for a review? I once
did the Macarena for a Klondike bar.