First fic! Parody of David after the dentist.
IMPORTANT: THEY ARE MUNDANES. IF YOU DON'T KNOW THIS YOU WILL BE UTTERLY CONFUSED.
Alec sat with his head turned to the side and Magnus would have thought he was asleep if he hadn't have been muttering random words under his breath. "He'll be okay, right?" Magnus asked as he watched his usually calm boyfriend roll his head from side to side.
The dentist nodded. "Oh yeah. He'll be fine. This is normal." Magnus raised an eyebrow as Alec abruptly threw his head back. Magnus smiled and pointed at him. "This is normal?" The dentist scowled "It's not funny." and statement.
Magnus nodded. "Well you were just po
Magnus cleared his throat and nodded. "Nope. Not at all." He coughed to cover his laugh but a chuckle slipped out anyways.
"Just get your friend and go. The woman at the front desk will tell you when your next appointment is." Magnus nodded and the grumpy dentist left.
He sat down beside Alec's dentist chair. His head was now in a normal position but it bent slightly.
"How do you feel?" Magnus asked Alec. Alec looked over at Magnus. His eyes were weary and his bottom lip was hanging down slightly. He didn't look at all like the Alec he knew. The serious, wise old owl left and replaced by the sleep-looking man he saw sitting in front of him.
"I'm tired." Alec said. It was a mixture of whine and a statement. "Well, you just spent an hour and thirty minutes getting poked and prodded by professionals. It's reasonable."
Alec looked around. He looked kind of like a special agent during a mission looking for the criminal. "We need to get out of here."
Magnus nodded in agreement. "You're right. There's no color or glitter anywhere in this entire building, only these walls trapping me in this dull place. It's depressing." Magnus shuddered. It was a boring, lifeless place without glitter.
Alec continued to look around the room cautiously. Magnus wondered what was wrong with him. "There's a demon nearby. We need to do something before someone gets demon poisoning or worse."
Magnus looked at his boyfriend with confusion. Whatever the dentist put in Alec's system made him loopy. It was so uncharacteristically like him does something like this, but there he was talking about demons and poisoning. It freaked him out a little.
As much as he wished Alec would stop being so serious and just let loose sometimes this was petrifying.
"Alec… What are you talking about? The closest thing to a demon is that dentist trying to rip that poor child's tooth out." Alec ignored him and grabbed the dentists' driller thing or whatever it was. "It's closer now."
Alec held the tool up and shouted a random name out. "Israfiel!"
Magnus waved his hand in front of his Alec's face quickly. "Alec," He said in a somewhat sing song voice. "You in there? There's no demon."
Alec started to swing the tool into action. He cut the tool through the air like he had had twenty years of training to defeat this 'demon'. "That demon has nothing against my seraph blade!" Alec hissed through his teeth.
"What?!" Magnus shouted as Alec pressed the button on the drill so the tip started twirling in circles like a ballerina. He had started to whirl it through the air so Magnus grabbed the drill and attempted to pry it out of his hands. "Alec, there is no demon. Stop before you hurt someone."
Alec looked at Magnus. "Are you enemies of the clave? Are you one of Valentine's allies?" He asked fearfully. Magnus head was spinning. At this point he wouldn't have been surprised if a talking bunny walked through the door and invited him to dinner.
"I don't know what you mean. And I'm not allies or enemies with anyone." Alec pointed an incredulous finger at Magnus. "You're lying. You're with Valentine." Alec pointed the driller at Magnus.
"Alec, I don't know what you're talking about. But I'm just trying to get out of this hellhole with all my limbs attached to my body so if you could just put that drill- seraph blade- back and come home with me that'd be awesome."
Alec looked at him with a horrified expression. "I can't just leave these mundanes to get hurt. It's my job as a shadow hunter to make sure that humans are safe and away from demons." Magnus nodded like he understood the situation.
"Well, I saw two shadow hunters walk down the hall not too long ago. They looked like they were trying to go attack something. Maybe it was the demon." Magnus tried to persuade Alec to believe, but he shook his head and Magnus' was about to blow up. "They weren't shadow hunters." Magnus still refused to give up. They had to get out of here.
"No, I swear. They had the seraph blades and all that other stuff you shadow hunters like to use to kill demons." Magnus pointed his thumb out the open door. "I think they went that way." Magnus looked down the hall.
Alec got up and brought the drill with him. "Okay then. We must help our fellow nephilim when they are in need." Alec took a step out the door, but Magnus put his hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sure they can handle it. We wouldn't want to interrupt their time saving mundanes and stuff." Alec shook his head once again. By the angel, does this guy ever stop? Magnus thought.
"Don't be ridiculous." Alec tried to walk out the door, but the chord from the drill stopped him and he stumbled a bit. Magnus took the drill before Alec could even blink and put it where it belonged.
"I'm sure they have some spare seraph blades we could use." He grabbed Alec's hand and led him in the direction the 'shadow hunters' went.
"What we need a whip?" Alec asked. Magnus took a deep breath and counted to ten. One, two, three, four…
"I'm sure they'll have those too."
…
"I think they went here." Alec gasped. "There's the demon." He said pointing at the poster of a giant cartoon tooth.
"And there are the shadow hunters." He smiled and walked. Magnus felt sorry for the two dentists, the mother and her child.
The dentists- one male, one female- looked at Alec like he was crazy. "Sir, what are you doing?" Alec's smile was so bright it was blinding. "Do you need help with that demon?"
The young boy with two metal things jabbing his mouth looked scared to death and the mother gripped his hand.
"Mommy, who is that weird boy and that man with the glitter in his hair?" The mother looked down at her son. "I don't know, sweetie." The two dentists looked at Magnus. You could read what they were saying from the looks on their faces. What the hell is wrong with this boy?
Magnus did a series of stupid motions like bending over and made a cackling sound and then got up and made what was supposed to represent gas but instead looked like stupid hand motions. They now looked at him like he was crazy. Alec saw all the stares pointed towards Magnus and waved of their confusion. "He's a bit coo coo if you know what I mean."
Yeah I'm the coo coo one.
The dentists nodded. "Well," The dentist said. "Why don't you and your friend go home?" The dentist tried to turn Alec towards the door. Alec shook his head and wiggled out of the dentist's grasp.
"I have to save the people in this building. It's my duty." Alec stated. He grabbed the tool that sprays water and pointed it at the tooth poster, or 'demon'.
The dentist rushed to get the instrument out of his hands and Magnus went to help. "I will slay this demon!" Alec shouted and pressed some sort of button that made the water spray from the tip of it.
The water hit the poster, wetting it, and the water streamed down the poster to soak the walls.
The dentists tried even harder to get the thing out of his hands, pulling and pulling him so that the water hit everything at least three feet from the poster.
Magnus heard the little boy whisper something. "Mommy, I'm scared." The mother stroked his hair back. "I know, pumpkin, It will be alright."
Magnus eventually got the thing out of Alec's hands. He greedily gripped it and searched for the button to turn it off. He found a button but with that he also found a lot more as well.
Where is the damn button? Magnus saw one button in the middle and pressed it which just sprayed more water and since the end of the tool was pointed at him so Luke warm water splashed his face. He clenched his eyes shut.
"Magnus, what are you doing?!" Alec screeched and tried to wrench the tool away. Magnus opened his eyes and played a tug of war for the tool with Alec. "Alec, you're making a mess! Stop it!"
Alec's eyes showed a flash of determination and stubbornness that shone like a light. His mouth was set in a hard line. "It's my duty!" He wrenched it out of Magnus' hand and turned the other way so it hit the mother. The mother screamed and the dentists and Magnus continued to struggle to get the tool out of his hands.
The dentist from before abruptly stopped in the door way. He was fuming. His face was tomato red from his neck to the tips of his ears and his chest was heaving with furious breaths.
"What is going on in here?!" The two dentists who held the tools felt no hesitation to dump all the dirt on Magnus and Alec. They pointed at them and stated quickly, "It was them!"
The dentists face grew redder and he looked at Magnus with the look of death in his glare. "You," He hissed. He stormed into the room and stopped a foot away from Magnus and jabbed his finger into Magnus' chest. "I TOLD YOU TO GET YOUR FRIEND AND GO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?!" Magnus flooded with anger. He tried to leave. It wasn't his fault his boyfriend was hyped up on some type of drug.
"I tried. It hasn't been exactly easy." The dentist pointed to Alec. "You were supposed to control him!"
"It's not exactly an easy thing to do when they think they're a mythical creature and tries to attack a poster!" Magnus countered. The dentist turned his anger to Alec. "What are you doing?!" The dentist asks grabbing the tool away from him and turning it off.
"I'm saving your butt from getting destroyed! Give that back!" Alec shouted reaching for the tool, but the dentist pinned him back.
They had attracted an audience. This just gets better and better. He looked one by one at the horrified faces.
"Saving us from what?! A poster?! Okay, Superman, you saved us now get the hell out!" The dentist shouted. And before Alec could protest Magnus grabbed Alec's arm and hurried out of the building.
…
Alec's pov
Alec rested on the couch. He tried to look around but his head hurt like hell.
Magnus walked through door and handed Alec some Advil and a glass of water. "You're awake." He said relieved. Alec would have nodded but if he did he would probably felt pain jolt in the back of his head.
He greedily grabbed and gulped the water and swallowed the pill. Once he swallowed the water and medicine he drank the rest of the water. God, he was so thirsty. "My head feels like hell."
Magnus nodded. "It should." They were in Magnus' apartment. It was familiar. The glitter and the neon colors. It helped his head feel better.
"What time is it?" Alec asked. Magnus checked the clock on the wall. "Around eleven."
Alec was shell shocked. "PM?" He asked. Magnus smiled and nodded. "How did it get so late?" Magnus shrugged. "We were at the dentist a bit longer than expected." He said grabbing the empty glass.
"What do you mean?" Alec asked, confused. Magnus smiled slightly. "It's a long story."
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