Trek Wars
Or: A New Force; A New World; A False Hope; An Uncertain Hope
Author's Note and Disclaimer: This story is a spoof based on Star Trek: the Original Series, the original three Star Wars movies (Episodes 4, 5, and 6), the original three Indiana Jones movies, and the Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. This is difficult to categorize on this site, so I'll stick with the title and go from there. So, the thanks would always go to the directors, writers, producers and actors/actresses of these movies and TV shows.
While I co-wrote this with my sister (who refuses on come to this site), I find it amusing to post this now, about seven years after it was published in our high school's magazine (and apologize for the short chapters, I'm trying to fix it). The original idea came from our uncle, who stayed up late one night with his friends and made up this story and song that came along with it (forgot what it was, it's been years since I've heard it). So, my final thanks would go to him and his drunk, university friends, who toasted such great characters of the last century.
Captain's Log, Stardate 9876.5: The Enterprise is drifting into the Gamma Quadrant to recuperate from a serious aftermath. Everything is quiet now, without threat of attack, so this change of scenery is pleasant to myself, as well as the crew. The Enterprise was unexpectedly ambushed three days ago by the Romulans and we lost most of our systems. It will be quite some time before another starship can find us.
In the meantime, the repairs on the Enterprise are going very slowly. We have some of the ship up and running again, but Scotty reports that we won't have enough power to get us to the nearest starbase for repairs for a few more days…
"Sir, something has come up on the scanners," says Sulu. "The scanners report that it is not a ship or a meteor. Should we go around it?"
Suddenly, Chekhov interrupts Sulu. "Kaptain, the Enterprise is getting closer and ve can't go around it! It is pulling us in!"
"Full reverse!" Kirk cried out, panicking inwardly.
"Captain, its pull is too strong. We will have to go through," Spock responds back calmly at his station.
With that, the Enterprise and her crew were sucked into a mysterious space rift.
~00~
A dark, shadowed figure smiled as he watched the chaotic turn of events.
The rift is working, he thought. All is going to plan. Now I'll get my revenge on James T. Kirk. Two down, one to go!
~00~
When the lights came back up, Kirk got up immediately from his captain's chair, worried about his crew.
"Is everyone okay? Is everyone accounted for, Mr. Spock?" he asked everybody, the last to his Science/First Officer.
The intercom buzzed before Spock could give a logical explanation (or answer) and McCoy (bruised slightly, but grouchy, all the same) could complain. "Scott to Kirk."
Kirk immediately went over to the captain's chair and flipped a switch. "Kirk here."
"Sir, we have several strange people down in Engine Room 4. What would you like us to do with them?"
"I'll be down in a minute. Kirk out." He turned to Mr. Sulu. "Mr. Sulu, you have the con. Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy will come with me. Call me if there are any more problems."
"Aye, sir," Sulu replied, listening to the grumbling of the doctor and the acceptance of the Vulcan as they accompanied Kirk.