Chapter One: The Beginning
This is my first loud house fanfic so I dunno, just read this.
I swear, what the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
It was dinner at the Loud house. It was in the middle of summer and the Louds were
fighting like Super Smash Bros. to get dinner first. Kinda like people on Youtube. But
there was one sister that didn't do jack shit for dinner, and that was Lisa. She was
kinda making a scientific discovery. "Just one more drop of acidic sodium Plebthrock-
iumiscidalAfricanAmericanionNigrum and the chrono-mecha-wormhole machine will
be finished! Finally, being a miniscule four-year old inside a house where the average
volume level is 260 decibels, nobody in the brilliant scientific community has gotten
the opportunity to witness my inventive genius!" said Lisa. Meanwhile at the dinner
table Lisa was nowhere. "We can't start dinner until Lisa's here. We're suddenly
doing it this way because this is the Christian way. We need to honor Jesus and his
sacrifices and we can't do that without her." said Rita. "Your mother's right, kids.
With Trump being president, we can't take any chances. Leni, go get Lisa." said
Lynn Sr. "This is literally the worst thing ever. Apparently it's disrespectful to text your
boyfriend at the dinner table because we're apparently Christian now. Fuck Trump."
said Lori. "WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! This is a holy sacred place. Back when Jesus
was alive, swearing was a sin. It's a sign of Satanism and betrayal of the Holy Empire.
When you die, Satan will have a nice place for you in the fiery depths of hell." said Rita.
"Since when did our parents become Christians?" said Luna. Leni went upstairs and
to Lisa and Lily's room. "Lisa, you need to, like, go get to dinner. Mom and Dad are
waiting for you. It's religious or something." said Leni. "Hell fucking no! I mean, no.
I am on the verge of a scientific discovery! The whole world can benefit from this! No,
those Christian pieces of shit can go fuck themselves." said Lisa. "WATCH YOUR
LANGUAGE! Oh, wait, is that a red button? I, like, LOVE red buttons!" said Leni.
"NO!" screamed Lisa as Leni pressed the button. "This machine will self destruct
in five seconds. Five, four, three, two, one." said the machine. Then it exploded into
a billion pieces, creating a giant hole in the wall. Lisa got a really shocked look on her
face. Then she slowly turned really, REALLY MAD! She was clenching her fists so hard,
her fingernails created cuts in her palms. "You, I can't freaking believe!" said Lisa really
angrily. "I'm like so, so, sorry! I didn't mean to!" said Leni. "Shut the fuck up! You are a
motherfucking cocksucking bitchfucking whore! I worked my WHOLE FUCKING LIFE
MAKING THAT MOTHERFUCKING MACHINE! I HAD THAT IDEA WHEN I WAS
ONLY 6 MONTHS OLD! ONLY MOTHERFUCKING SIX! SIX! MONTHS!
AND YOU FUCKING DESTROYED IT! YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD IF YOU
CAN BE SO FUCKING STUPID AS TO FUCKING DO THAT! FUCK! FUCK YOU!
LENI MOTHERFUCKING LOUD! FUCK ASS SHIT NIGGER JEW FAG BITCH CUNT
DICK COCK FAGGOT NIGGER! THAT FUCKING ABRAHAM FREED THE FUCKING
SLAVES! I WANT SLAVERY BACK! IT MAKES EVERYTHING FUCKING EASIER!
FUCK LINCOLN! I mean Abraham Lincoln, not Lincoln Loud, BUT FUCK THAT WHITE
BASTARD! HE'S A DISGRACE TO WHITES EVERYWHERE! AND YOU, LENI LOUD,
ARE MOTHERFUCKING WORSE THAN HIM! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK
YOU! I mean, get the heck out, Leni. You destroyed my machine! Now get out."
said Lisa. "Oh crap, I need some water." said Lisa. Leni fell down to the floor and started
crying and screaming like a baby. "WAHHHHH! MOMMY! DADDY! LISA YELLED AT
ME! WAHHHHHHHH! I WANT MY BOTTLE!" said Leni as she cried and screamed.
"Holy fucking shit, this is fucking comedy gold right here!" said Lisa. She pulled out a camera
and videotaped the entire thing. "Oh my god, when are those two getting back? My butt is
itching like no tomorrow! Jesus Christ!" said Lynn. "How dare you use the name of the Holy
Lord in vain!? The power of Christ compels you! Die! Rot in hell, you Satanic sack of bull!"
said Lynn Sr. as he formed a cross with his fingers. Then an explosion was heard. Lynn Sr. was
crying for his life and praying for Jesus to bring salvation. "Seriously, this is literally pathetic. Get
the others, because we're checking this crap out." said Lori to the older sisters at the grownup
table. The sisters and Lincoln went to Lisa's room and found Leni crying on the ground and Lisa
videotaping it. There was also a giant hole in the wall. But nobody cares about that. "LISA WHAT
THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW!?" screamed Lola.
To Be Continued.
I really don't fucking know why the parents are Christian, I guess because they didn't do anything
on their own. Really, it's because being Christian means they are strict and abusive, like Trump
was to the American country. Seriously, fuck Donald Trump.