Author's Note: This takes place during Hermione's fifth year. I tried to keep them both as in character as possible.

Disclaimer: There's nothing to disclaim. I fucking own Harry Potter, so don't bother suing me. I'll sue you first.

"Oh. Ouch!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

Hermione rubbed her lip, fairly certain it would be bruised in the morning. Ron smiled sheepishly, his face turning pink.

"It's alright," she said, letting him kiss her again, his breath smelling like stolen firewhiskey.

The whole snogging business was a rather slimy affair; or maybe it was just Ron. Hermione couldn't remember quite as much saliva during her infrequent sessions with Viktor a year before. But now, as she kissed her best friend in the Gryffindor common room, she found herself in much less capable hands.

Hands that, at the moment, were sweating profusely and making their way up her blouse. Hermione didn't respond to the intrusion, too busy fighting a losing battle with Ron's sporadic tongue, until his shaky fingers found her bra strap and began to fumble. She quickly slapped them away.

"Maybe we could move somewhere, er, more private?" she asked, taking the reins in this awkward affair. Ron stared at her blankly for a moment until he realized she was speaking English.

"Oh. Oh yeah. Uh, everyone's gone from my room right now, if you think..." he trailed off, fearful the encounter would end.

Hermione held back a sigh. "Yes Ron, I think that would work alright."

She followed him up the steps to the boys' dormitory and into his room. As hoped, the room was deserted save Pigwidgeon, who hooted in greeting from his cage. Hermione sat down on Ron's bed as he closed the door and locked it.

"Now then," Hermione said, gazing around the room. "Where were we?"

"Well, we were..."

"That was rhetorical, Ron."

"Oh."

A few moments later, Hermione was straddling a half-naked Ron in only her bra and a lace thong she had nicked from Lavender. Hermione had to admit his growth spurt over the summer had left him with an impressive build. His new musculature did not go unnoticed; she slid her hands over his arms and abdomen softly, watching the muscles ripple.

Slowly, she worked her way down his body, until she was on all fours between his thighs. Ron looked at her with alarm, which wasn't all that disheartening. His face had looked shocked since she kissed him in the common room and had continued to bear the slightly comical expression.

"You don't mind if I...?" she asked, gesturing vaguely to his erection. Ron shook his head vigorously, and attempted to free himself from the confines of his Chudley Cannons boxer-briefs. Hermione, pitying him as she watched his hands shake, lowered the waistband herself. "It's alright, I got it."

With his cock free, Hermione was now set with the uncomfortable task of pleasuring him. She had gleaned most of what she needed to know from listening to conversations in the girls' dormitory and looking at classmates' discarded Witches Weekly but had never been given an opportunity to truly test her knowledge.

And if there was one thing Hermione Granger lived for, it was tests.

She took his cock her hand and squeezed slightly, emitting a gasp from Ron who stared at her, wide-eyed. His reaction encouraged her, and she began to stroke his shaft, squeezing his head slightly. After a few more turns of this, she slowly lowered her mouth to his tip and circled it with her tongue. The bed shook as Ron threw his head back into the pillow.

From what she had heard, teenage boys did not last long before it was all over, so Hermione took her time. She took his cock in her mouth – or rather, as much as she could, as Ron was far bigger than a carrot she had once practiced on her third year – and sucked, moving her head up and down slowly. She heard him yelp once, and took that as a sign to watch her teeth. She began to get more enthusiastic as Ron began to moan, but his cock hitting the back of her throat and sending her into gagging convulsions slowed her down again.

After what she deemed to be long enough, she removed Ron's cock from her mouth and began to kiss him again. The confused Weasley kissed her back, sliding his hands down her back. Hermione was pleased to notice they were much less sweaty, and were almost steady (or, at least, didn't shake quite as much). He even grasped and squeezed her buttocks, a move she assumed he had learned from the twins' dirty magazines.

Proud of his improvements, she allowed him to fumble with, and eventually remove, her bra. Although she was self-conscious of her breasts – the right was 1/16th of an inch smaller in circumference – Ron seemed pleased. He took them both in his hands and squeezed them like balloons. Hermione yelped in pain and swatted his hands away. Still, they crept back moments later, this time much gentler.

Hermione pulled her mouth away slowly, even though she was rather enjoying the new sensations Ron was giving to her nipples, now that he had discovered them. She met Ron's gaze and, for the first time, felt extremely nervous.

"Ron," she started, "I would very much like to have sex with you now. But only if you want to."

Ron looked awestruck. "Wh-Wh-What?" he stammered, eyes nearly popping out of his head.

Hermione blushed, feeling incredibly stupid. She began to get off of him and covered herself with her arms. "Nevermind, forget I said-"

"Yes! Yes I'll have—do it with you," he said, quickly trying to keep Hermione from leaving. "I was just surprised, I mean, this is all kind of sudden..."

Hermione blushed, feeling a little guilty. Truly, Ron was sweet and she needed practice. It wasn't that she was using him; they were young, when else was she supposed to do these things? She felt late to the party already, about three years late if Lavender Brown was any indication.

They rolled over so Ron was on top, and Hermione quickly wiggled out of her thong and discarded it onto the floor. Ron positioned himself at her entrance and, with a nod from Hermione, began to push his way in.

"OUCH RON!" she yelped, sending him a solid kick to the thigh.

"Sorry!" he spluttered. "You're really tight."

"Yes, I would think so," she snapped, glaring at him. She sighed, massaging her temples. "Maybe try your fingers first?"

"Fingers," Ron repeated. "Right."

He inserted his index finger into her slowly, removing it just as slowly in turn. Hermione let out a soft moan to the new sensation. More confident, Ron inserted again faster, his fingers quickening their pace as Hermione's moans increased in volume.

"Rub... rub my clit, Ron," she breathed.

"What's that?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and resigned herself to the duty, rubbing faster as Ron inserted another finger. Her back arched and she moaned louder, her toes curling.

"Quick, Ron," she gasped, "use your-"

Ron needed no more instruction. He removed his fingers and suddenly, his entire cock was inside Hermione, and she felt as though she had been ripped apart.

"Bloody hell Ron!" she shrieked. "That fucking hurt!"

"Sorry," Ron muttered, not looking the least bit sorry. He, unlike Hermione, was clearly enjoying himself.

"Just... just hold on a minute. Let me get used to this, alright?" Hermione huffed, feeling her muscles expand to contain him. She hoped the small bit of blood wouldn't stain his sheets. The pain died down to a dull ache after a few moments, and she gave Ron permission to continue.

But continue doing what, Hermione couldn't say. She assumed he was trying to thrust, but his awkward motions just moved his entire body except his cock. After a few more turns of this, Hermione stopped him.

"Here," she said, "let me try on top."

The couple rolled over, Hermione now straddling Ron, his dick still buried inside of her. Slowly, she began to rock, thrusting her pelvis and bringing it back. This felt incredibly better compared to Ron's awkward pumps, and she began to gain confidence, using her knees to bounce on his cock.

"Fuck, Hermione," Ron moaned, his head going back to rest on his pillow. She placed her hands on his chest to steady herself, and moved faster and faster, her cries growing louder.

"Oh Merlin," she moaned, throwing her head back. Yes, sex was infinitely better if Ron did nothing but lie there.

"Yeah baby! Ride me," Ron moaned, and it took everything she had to keep herself from laughing. She needed to remind herself to throw away those old magazines.

Faster, faster, faster she went, her legs beginning to cramp and shake. Ron began to thrust too, so each time Hermione came crashing down, his cock went deeper and deeper inside of her. She was louder now, her cries and moans mixing with Ron's name and a stream of curses from her red headed partner. Hermione wasn't sure what an orgasm was, but if it had something to do with the tightness in her lower abdomen, she was growing closer.

"Oh fuck, Ron," she cried, digging her fingers into his chest. Ron pumped faster, as did she, and she could feel her juices dripping down his cock. She squeezed her eyes shut, stars exploding on the back of her eyelids. "Fuck, Ron!"

"Didn't know you had it in you, Ronnie."

Instantly, they stopped. Hermione turned around and, horrified, saw identical smirks on the faces of Fred and George. She shrieked.

"Out! Get out!" she screamed, jumping off of Ron and covering herself with her robes. The twins laughed, and she saw Ron turn bright red as he quickly covered his genitals with a pillow.

George wiped tears from his eyes. "Merlin Hermione, we thought you were being cursed from the way you were screaming. We thought we'd burst in and be heroes, and then look what we find!"

"Shut up, both of you," Ron mumbled, pulling on his pants. Hermione, still naked and hiding behind her clothing, gave him a withering look.

"Get. Out," she snarled, staring the two boys down. Their laughing subsided, and they exchanged looks.

"Well," said Fred, "I can see when we're not welcomed. No, don't let us stop you, go back to whatever it was you were doing. We can only fathom a guess."

"Knitting?" George offered.

The two twins burst into raucous laughter again, but thankfully left the room, shutting the door behind them.

Hermione quickly threw on her clothes, her face hot, tears in her eyes. This was not how she planned this, not at all. This was supposed to be a shining moment in her life, a right of passage. And she had failed miserably. Regret shot through her, icing her veins. Ron noticed her tears and hugged her gently.

"Hey now, don't cry," he said, patting her wild curls. He smiled at her, a smile which she attempted to return before bursting into tears. "It'll be okay. For what it's worth, I enjoyed myself." His admission only made her cry harder.

She buried her face in his chest, snot and tears spreading over his sweaty skin. He patted her bushy hair awkwardly. "They're just stupid gits, Hermione. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," she said, wiping her eyes with her robe and blowing her nose loudly. After a few sniffles, she kissed Ron softly on the cheek.

The humiliation Hermione expected to meet did not occur, as Ron had found George in bed with Katie Bell a day later, with pictures to prove it. A gag agreement was made between all parties and it was never mentioned again. Hermione didn't even mention it to herself.