a/n: so I wrote this for Mello's birthday and it devolved into a really awful drabble. This is part of an AU timeline in which Matt, Near, and Mello all live together for some reason.
Matt is playing Dance Dance Revolution
Near is watching with his hands drawn up onto one knee, trying not to feel like Mello got it for him at Christmas just to be amused by his inability to dance. Poor Matt, born with two left feet and not an ounce of natural rhythm.
Mello is out though, harassing an innocent somewhere or kicking a puppy, blowing off steam because Near beat him at Mario Cart, and so he isn't bearing witness to Matt's utter failure at DDR. It must be the only video game he's ever had trouble with, if his profuse and grammatically incorrect cursing is anything to judge by.
"This is bullshit!" Matt falls back onto his bed, writhing around on it until he realizes Near is staring at him and then he stops. "What? Can't let me rage in peace? I guess if it's not Mello then it's gotta be you, huh? Damned prodigies."
Near means to say something but Mello comes strolling back in, slamming the door behind him for good measure, and then glowers at the screen blinking back at him.
"You played it, huh?" He directs he question at Matt. "Bet you sucked."
"Did not." Matt's up in a second with a wide grin. Near is a bit shocked by his ability to lie flat out to someone who would see through his lie, and still act confident. "Got a perfect score. Right, Near?"
Mello glares at him, Matt stares through him, and Near hides a smirk in his knees.
He ends up shrugging ambiguously because he likes to watch Matt and Mello butt heads over stupid things. It reminds him they're still human, and it provides a convenient source of amusement.
"Liar." Mello accuses.
"Am not." Matt defends, settling his goggles over his nose. Ah, it seems he's serious.
"What the fuck, you can't lie straight to my face and expect me not to know-"
"Not lying. Pinky swear."
"Matt, shut up."
"Wanna fight about this, Mello?"
"You shit. I know you're lying!"
"You're not psychic, how would you know?"
"Because I'm not an idiot, you moron."
"Pot meet kettle."
"I swear to God-"
"Which one?"
"Oh for fucks sake."
"Not for the sake of God, then?"
Silence.
"...Run, Matt." Near advises in a mode of neutrality just as Mello swoops over the coffee table separating them.
A fight ensues, Mello gives Matt a bloody nose for good measure, and Matt retaliates by kicking him in shins. It settles down fairly quickly and Matt insists there's something wrong with the game. Mello calls him a sore loser and a cheater, but Near intercedes before it can degenerate into a fistfight.
"To be fair, the game's difficulty setting was preset to the most challenging version available." Near says.
Matt stares at him. Mello may be rolling his eyes.
"What the hell, Near, you're supposed to be on my side! The Chewbacca to my Han Solo! The Bonnie to my Clyde! The Luigi to my Mario! The Elvis to my Presley! The butter to my bread! Ranch dressing to my salad...? ...Sprinkles to my ice cream." Matt pauses. "I'm actually kinda hungry. Can we get some food? Chinese preferably? I'm really feeling the Chinese."
Mello and Near don't ask questions. They just order the food.