So, here is my first ever finished/published fanfic (YAY!) It was a WIP on Psychfic so if you want to read all my lovely story notes, feel free to read it on there. Here are my condensed notes:

-As you might have noticed, each "chapter" here is actually a group of chapters since that is how it's saved on my computer. For WIP, I'll post a chapter at a time but since I already have 3 stories completed that I want to post here, each around 30 chapters, I'm not separating them.

-This story is rated M for a reason. There's graphic violence, specifically torture and rape. There's also angst and fluff.

-Spoilers for ep 5x09 "One, Maybe Two, Ways Out" and the first part of this story takes place about 3/4 weeks after that.

-DISCLAIMER: I'm not affiliated with Psych in any way, shape or form, or else it would be a lot more violent (I'm a sadist)

-I am also not an expert in anything: medicine, law enforcement, sign language, english or anything else you can think of, so don't complain if I got anything wrong, I just made an educated/logical guess.

-I think that everything italicized are flashbacks while everything bolded is sign language

-All original character names I randomly made up, usually by hitting a random key and typing the first name that came to mind. Except Shawn's grandpa, who didn't have a name in that one flashback so I gave him my grandfather's name

I think that's all. Enjoy and Review. Bye!

PROLOGUE

Santa Barbara 1986

Shawn and Gus (age 9) are playing cops and robbers quite loudly in the backyard when Shawn's dad comes home for lunch. Neither boy seems to notice and continue their loud game. Henry comes over and grabs Shawn.

"Whoa, Shawn! What did I tell you this morning?"

"Um, remember to put my cereal bowl in the sink when I finish breakfast?"

"And . . . ."

"And brush my teeth?"

"And . . . ."

"Um, stay out of the house?" Shawn smiles nervously.

Henry sighs and kneels in front of Shawn. "Yeah, but why did I tell you to stay out of the house?"

"Because Mom's sick and needs to sleep."

"And do you think that she can sleep when you two are making so much noise?"

"Maybe?"

"No, she can't. I'm surprised that she hasn't told you off yet. Why don't you guys go over to Gus' house and play?"

Gus shuffles over and answers for Shawn, "Nobody's home at my house, Mr. Spencer. My parents dropped me off before going to work and Joy is at a friend's house for a birthday party."

Henry sighs and stands up, "Okay, well, lets go eat lunch now. I'm assuming that neither of you have eaten yet?"

Shawn shakes his head, "Nope. You said to stay outside."

"Okay, you two set the picnic table while I go make some sandwiches." Shawn and Gus run towards the house. "And do it quietly!"

(20 minutes later)

Henry glances at his watch as they are finishing their sandwiches. "Shawn, I called my father and he's going to watch you guys while I go back to work, Okay?"

Shawn and Gus nod their heads as they continue to eat.

"And I don't want you to give him any trouble. Remember that he's retired and can't go running after you guys as easily as I can."

"Okay dad," Shawn replied as he finished his milk.

"Good," Henry checks his watch again as he stands and starts to clean up. "He should be here in a few minutes and then I'm going back to work."

Shawn and Gus run away from the table, each grabbing a stick and start fighting, making lightsaber noises. Henry just shakes his head and goes inside.

Ten minutes later, after washing the dishes and checking on his wife, Henry walks outside to find Shawn and Gus sitting on the grass in front of Shawn's grandfather Allan as he's telling one of his gory war stories. Henry notices Gus looking nauseous while Shawn is totally captivated.

"Dad," Henry says as he walks over to them. "I think that they're a little too young for that story." Henry nods towards Gus' wide eyes and pale complexion.

"Oh, yeah, I guess you're right." Allan laughs as he scratches the back of head. "Well, what do you suggest?"

"Maddie still isn't feeling well, so they need to stay quite." Henry looks up towards the second floor windows before checking his watch.

Allan snaps his fingers. "I know. I'll teach the boys sign language and Morse code. That way they can send messages across the yard or when they're suppose to be quiet."

Henry looks at Shawn and Gus who have started having a fist fight after losing interest in the conversation. He sighs and heads back to his car. "Good luck Dad, you're going to need it."

CHAPTER 1

Santa Barbara 2010

Shawn sat on the floor of his bathroom, bouncing a tennis ball against the wall. He thought about what all had happened that day, and tried to figure out what he should do next.

"You know Mr. Spencer," Mr. Mancini begins before Shawn interrupts him.

"Dude, how many times do I have to tell you. My name is Shawn. Mr. Spencer is my father and I really don't like being mistaken for him."

"Mr. Spencer, just so that we're clear, if you tell the cops what you think happened, you might just find yourself attending a few funerals in the next couple weeks, capiche?"

Shawn bounced the ball even harder. He barely noticed the room getting darker as the sun sets. His phone started ringing again, but Shawn already knew who it was and what they would say.

"Shawn! Don't go in there man without letting the cops know! What if something happens?"

"Gus," Shawn sighs as he puts his helmet on the seat of his motorcycle, keeping his phone between his shoulder and ear. "I'm just going to ask a few questions. It's not like I'm accusing anyone of anything."

"Shawn! This is the mafia that you're talking about! If they are behind the murder and think that you're gonna expose them, they could kill you and hide the body so nobody will ever find it."

"Dude, you're over-reacting!" Shawn walks across the parking lot towards the warehouse's main door. "I mainly just want to look around, ask some general questions and then skedaddle cause I got a lunch date in an hour. If I thought that it was even remotely dangerous, do you really think that I would come alone?"

"YES! Yes I do! You've done it before. You should at least call Juliet so that you'll have back up. Or at least have a wire"

"Why? So that the mafia will get suspicious? Besides, if it is dangerous, I wouldn't want to get into anymore trouble by having a wire. This way, I'm just a curious bystander. Dude, I gotta go. I'll call you later"

"Shawn! Don't you dare . . . ."

Shawn ends the call, putting his phone on silent as he knocks.

Once his phone stopped ringing, Shawn thought about the photos that Mr. Mancini had shown him.

"When did you get these taken?" Shawn see photos of his Dad fishing alone, Gus asleep in bed, Juliet playing with her cats, even Lassiter cleaning his service weapon at home.

Mr. Mancini simply smiles and said, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I hope that we have an understanding?"

"I didn't even think to come by until a half hour ago. . . ."

A loud banging at his front door jarred Shawn from his thoughts, making him miss the tennis ball. As he got up and stretched, he noticed that the room was completely dark, meaning that he had been sitting on the floor for several hours. Shawn sighed and unlocked his bathroom door before heading for the front door.

As Shawn neared the door, he saw that his dad was outside and he was looking a little pissed. He sighed and opened the door. "Hi Dad," he mumbled.

"SHAWN! Why haven't you been answering your phone? Gus told me that he's been trying to reach you all day!" Henry yelled as he pushed his way in. He walked about 5 feet before turning back around to face Shawn with his hands on his hips.

"Why don't you come in," Shawn said sarcastically as he closed the door and leaned against it.

"Gus told me that you went down to the docks without back up to talk to the mob boss about a case! Are you insane? Haven't I taught you anything? Don't get involved with the mafia, no matter what! You never know what's going to happen."

"Dad! I just went to talk and ask some questions."

"And how did that go?" Henry crossed his arms on his chest.

Shawn started to walk towards his kitchen while quietly answering, "It could have been worse."

"What the hell does that mean?" Henry followed him.

"It means that I didn't get any straight answers but that I walked away unscratched. In case you didn't notice, I'm still alive, no trips to the emergency room." Shawn opened the fridge and grabbed a container of pineapple slices and a can of root beer.

"You know that Gus was worried sick? He almost called the Police department to come looking for you when you wouldn't answer your phone."

Shawn sat at his table and started eating. "I sent him a text message."

Henry sat down across from him glaring. "Yeah, he showed me. It said 'I have to think, call me tomorrow or next week.' How do you think he feels? He's your best friend and he was worried about you."

"That's why I sent the text," Shawn mumbled around his soda can.

"Shawn! Can't you be serious for one minute?"

"Um, no, I don't think so."

"Shawn! This is the mafia we're talking about! Do you know how many witnesses and informants 'disappeared' before a case could go to trail against Mr. Mancini?"

Shawn tipped his chair back, lifting the front legs off the floor, "Um, I don't know, 80, 90%?"

"Shawn!"

"Dad! I don't want to go there okay? I'm dropping the case!" Shawn got up and let the chair fall to the ground while he went to the fridge to grab a real beer.

Henry sat stunned. "What? When have you ever walked away from a case?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"Shawn!"

"I know that I messed up, okay! Do you think that I want the mafia coming after my friends? After you? I'm not stupid."

"Shawn?" Henry looked closely at Shawn, who was leaning against the counter and staring at the floor. "Did Mancini make threats?"

"Mr. Spencer, I believe that it would be in your best interest, as well as those around you, that you leave the city for a while. At least until the case is over."

Shawn shrugged his shoulder, still looking down, "Not in so many words. He showed me a few photos and made some suggestions. It wasn't hard to read between the lines."

Henry rubbed a hand across his face. "Shawn . . . ."

"You know what dad," Shawn put his can in the sink before looking back at Henry. "I just remember that I'm suppose to meet someone." Shawn headed towards the door.

"Shawn."

"You can stay as long as you want, just make sure to lock up." Shawn grabbed his jacket and helmet on his way out.

"Shawn! We're not done talking!" Henry hurried after him.

Shawn was starting up his motorcycle by the time his dad reached him. "Can you clean out my fridge and take out the garbage, I don't know when I'll be back."

"SHAWN!"

"Oh, and one more thing," Shawn turned towards his dad with a sad smile. "Take care Dad."

"Shawn don't," Henry pleaded as Shawn rode off into the night.

After standing outside for a few more minutes, Henry headed back inside to take any perishable food back to his house. Right before he reached the kitchen, he heard Shawn's phone go off. He stared at it, seeing that it's Juliet O'Hara calling. Gus told him that Shawn was suppose to meet her for lunch earlier and had stood her up without even calling. He figured that he should let Gus know so he could break it to her gently. Hopefully Shawn won't stay away for too long.

"I hope you're not throwing something away," Henry sighed before heading into the kitchen. Less than 10 minutes later, he was out the door, locking it without looking back.

CHAPTER 2

It was nearing midnight before Shawn finally decided to stop for the night. Shawn was just driving North, not really paying attention to where he was headed, except away from Santa Barbara and his dad. Realizing that he hadn't eaten anything besides pineapple since 9am, Shawn found a pub near a motel that's open late. While he enjoyed his beer and fries, Shawn thought over what had happened a couple days ago.

Shawn and Gus are leaving the Chief's office when they hear Juliet call, "Shawn, wait up."

"Jules, hey." Shawn and Juliet both smile and then look away awkwardly.

Gus clears his throat. "I'll be in the car, Shawn."

"Thanks man," Shawn replies, still looking at his shoes as Gus walks away.

"So," Shawn begins, looking everywhere but at Juliet's face. "Did you have a nice trip with Declan?"

"Yeah, it was . . . fun." Juliet takes a deep breath before looking up. "Shawn, can we talk privately for a minute?"

Shawn glances at his wrist, which is bare. "Listen, Jules, I got a thing to go to and I really shouldn't leave Gus alone in the car too long."

"Shawn, please?"

Shawn finally looks up and sees all the different emotions competing on Juliet's face. "Okay, I can spare a few minutes."

Juliet gives him a nervous smile, nods, and leads the way to the empty conference room.

Shawn flagged down the waitress for another beer. He scanned the crowd, but didn't really see anything but Juliet.

Once they're inside the conference room, Juliet goes around and closes all the blinds.

Shawn begins, still not looking at her. "Jules, I . . . ."

"No, Shawn. Let me speak first." She takes a deep breath and starts pacing the room. "I know that our timing always seems to be off and that things keep getting in the way. When one of us is ready, the other one is involved with someone else. There always has been a bit of tension between us and then three weeks ago happen."

"Jules." Shawn sighs.

"No, I'm not done." Juliet walks up to Shawn and grabs both of his hands in hers. Both of them are staring at their joined hands. "I overhead you talking to Gus over the wire after they arrested Nadia. I wasn't entirely sure what to think. Then you showed up at Declan's house and were encouraging me to go on the trip, even though I saw how much that must have hurt you."

"No, I, um, I was, am very happy for you, for both of you."

"Shawn" Juliet sighs. She takes one of her hands and gently tilts his chin up so that they are looking at each other. "I realized at that moment that I was in love with you. So I kissed you before I could talk myself out of it."

"Actually, I think that we kissed at the same time."

"No, Shawn, I definitely beat you to the punch."

"Hmm, I've heard it both ways." Shawn shrugs while Juliet giggles and smiles.

"And while I was gone, all I could think about was you. Declan tried to distract me with different activities but my thoughts always came back to you. It didn't take him long to realize that and we left as just friends."

"Oh, Jules, I'm so sorry I ruined your vacation."

Juliet smiles again, moving her hand to caress his cheek. "Actually, it was good for me to get away and think, because now I know what I want." She takes a step closer so that they are less than half a foot apart.

"And, um, what, what would that be?" Shawn glances down at her lips before moving back to her eyes.

"Oh I think you know," she replies, moving closer.

"A pineapple smoothie?"

Juliet's smile gets even wider, "Yeah," Shawn frowns, "If you're the one bringing me one."

"I can bring you one everyday if you so wish."

"Yeah, that'll be great," Juliet whispers as they close the gap and kiss.

As Shawn stared down into his third pint of beer, he realized how stupid he was to not call Juliet before he left. No wonder Gus was worried. He finally got his chance to be with Juliet after pining over her for more than four years and he blew it in one afternoon. Gus had probably told her by now that he has left for an indeterminable amount of time. Hopefully she wasn't too heart broken over it. After all, it would have only been their second date, if you counted that night they were undercover at speed dating their first date.

Shawn sighed as he waved down the waitress so that he could pay his bill and leave. Maybe he'll leave Juliet a phone message before going to bed.

CHAPTER 3

Since it was already past 2am by the time Shawn got in his motel room, he figured it was way too late to be calling Juliet at home. So the next morning, before leaving , he decided that he would leave a message on her answering machine. As the phone was ringing, Shawn looked at the clock and noticed that it was only 7am, which meant Juliet was still home. Before he could hang up, he heard a sleepy voice answer the phone.

"Hello?" Shawn could tell that Juliet either had a cold or cried herself to sleep, he hoped for the former. "Hello? Is anyone there?" Before he could think of what to say, Juliet continued. "Look, whoever you are, I don't appreciate prank calls, especially 7 o'clock in the morning. If you do it again, I'll have your number traced and then have you arrested for disturbing the peace. I'm hanging up now."

"Hey Jules," Shawn said in a small, nervous voice. He heard Juliet gasp before she replied.

"Shawn? Is that you?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you? Gus said that you left town to do some thinking without even telling him. I've been trying to reach you."

"I know. I'm sorry. It was a last minute decision and I forgot to bring my phone with me."

"When are you coming back?"

Shawn sighed. He was really hoping that she wouldn't ask him that. "I honestly don't know. Maybe after a week or two. I promise that I will come back because I …" Shawn paused, afraid to complete that sentence.

"Because you what Shawn?"

"Because I, I miss you already."

Juliet sighed again, "I miss you too. Why didn't you call me yesterday to cancel? I waited a half hour for you to show up. Lassiter ended bringing me some food, saying he had a feeling you wouldn't show up after 5 minutes of waiting."

"I'm sorry Jules. I . . ." Shawn gulped before plowing on with a half-truth. "I had a very disturbing vision which distracted me. I was sitting in my bathroom for hours in a sort of trance before my dad came by and snapped me out of it. Less than 15 minutes later, I was on the road. I know I keep saying it, but I am so sorry."

"I can't say that I completely forgive you, but I understand a little." Juliet sighed. "I was worried since you wouldn't answer your phone, and Gus even said that he hadn't heard from you in hours."

"I know and I'm sorry."

Juliet giggled, "Now you're sounding like McNab, apologizing all the time."

"Oh wow, you're right. I'm sor-sorry," Shawn blushed as he heard Juliet laugh again. "Maybe I shouldn't have drunk so much last night," Shawn muttered. Unfortunately, Juliet heard him and stopped laughing.

"You were drinking last night?" Juliet sounded very concerned.

"Only 3 pints and then I walked back to the motel, which was only a block away."

"Okay, as long as you weren't drinking and driving."

"Jules, my dad was a cop for over 20 years, which means that I've heard enough horror stories about drunk driving to last me a lifetime, maybe 5 lifetimes. I swear that I will never drink and drive."

"Good." There was an awkward pause between them before Juliet continued. "Look, I've got to get ready for work or else Carlton is gonna have my hide if I'm late."

"Give him my love."

"Don't you mean give him hell from you."

Shawn chuckled, "Yeah, that too. Maybe you should call him Lassie, just to annoy him."

Juliet giggled, "I don't know, if I'm late, I don't think I should antagonize him."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Shawn thought about what Mancini told him. "Hey Jules?"

"Yeah Shawn?"

"Be careful."

Juliet sniffled, "You too. Call me soon, please?"

"I'll try, but I don't know where I'll be or when I'll get the chance."

"As long as you let me know that you're okay, you can always just leave a message on my machine."

"Okay," Shawn smiled sadly. "I should probably go."

"Yeah me too," Juliet sniffled again before whispering, "I love you, Shawn."

"I, um," Shawn cleared his throat, "Ditto."

Juliet hesitated before choking out, "Bye."

"Bye Jules," Shawn whispered before slowly hanging up the phone. "I'm sorry."

Shawn sat there staring at the ceiling for another 10 minutes before finally getting up so that he could get moving.

After checking out, Shawn headed to a diner to eat breakfast. He decided to use cash for now on so that his dad or Gus can't find him before he's ready. He went to an ATM and a department store to buy a few essentials.

Before leaving the city, Shawn stopped by the post office and sent Gus a letter, telling him that he needs time to think for a couple of weeks and to not worry. He said that he'll miss his friends and Psych too much to be away for too long. He put his credit card in it to show that he only has so much money on him, so Gus will definitely hear from him again.

"I'm sorry Gus. I'm just trying to keep you safe." Shawn whispered as he got on his bike and continued on his way.

CHAPTER 4

2 weeks later

Henry was just finishing up his lunch when his thoughts turned to his son. After Gus received the letter and shared it with him, Henry went back to his normal worrying level. The last case that Shawn was working was wrapped up when a suicide note told about how he killed the other person. Henry and Lassiter both thought that it was too easy, but since there was no clues pointing elsewhere, they had to close the case.

As Henry was grabbing another beer from the fridge, the phone rang. Setting the unopened bottle on the counter, Henry answered on the third ring.

"Yeah"

"Hello, is this Henry Spencer?"

"Yes, it is. What can I do for you?" Henry leaned his back against the kitchen sink.

"This is Detective Fred Nelson with the Lincoln Police Department in Nebraska. I'm calling in regards to your son, Shawn Spencer."

Henry closed his eyes and rubbed his face, "Oh God, what has he done this time?"

"Well sir, we're not entirely sure."

Henry straightened at that and almost yells back, "What do you mean you don't know? Is he in the hospital? Has he been arrested? What?"

"Sir, I need you to calm down."

Henry snorted angrily before he took a deep breath and sat down at the table. "Okay, tell me what you do know."

"Well, we believe that he was involved in an accident."

"What do you mean 'you believe'? Why don't you know?"

"When the police arrived at the scene, he was nowhere to be found."

Henry sighed, "Look, I'm an ex-cop, I've been to plenty of accident scenes. So, tell me everything you know."

"Okay. Two nights ago, a trucker was driving an 18-wheeler down the interstate around midnight. He fell asleep at the wheel and ended up drifting across the road and hit a tree. A passing motorist stopped and called police. Shortly after the officers arrived, they noticed skid marks not too far from where the big rig went off the road. They followed the tracks and noticed a slightly smashed motorcycle at the bottom of the embankment. When they reached it, there was no body, just footprints leading towards a dense patch of woods." The detective paused at this point.

Henry swallowed hard, "What else?"

"They found his helmet about 10 yards away with the visor cracked and bloody handprints."

"How …" Henry croaked before clearing his throat. "How do you know that it was Shawn?"

"Besides getting a hit on the serial number of the bike today, we came across your son's wallet. It was on the other end of the woods, on the side of the road near a bloody tire iron." The detective hesitated before taking a deep breath and continuing. "After checking all hospitals in a 50 mile radius, we have reason to believe that your son has been kidnapped."

An hour later, Henry sat in Chief Karen Vick's office, having just let her know about what happened.

Karen leaned back in her chair and silently observed Henry, noting how tired he looked. "Did the detective say what steps they are taking?"

"He said that they issued an ABP yesterday and notified all hospitals in a 100 mile radius. If nothing turns up, they suggest that I fill out a missing persons report tomorrow." Henry looked down at his hands and whispered, "I knew that bike was bad news."

Karen got up and knelt in front of him, placing her hand over his. "Henry, he's a smart, stubborn, pain in the ass, just like his father." Karen smiled when he scoffed. "He can get through this, you taught him well. You'll see, he'll be back soon enough, bouncing off the walls, annoying the hell out of everyone." Henry nodded.

Karen stood up and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Have you told anyone else about the developments?"

"No, I'm still in a state of shock. I guess I have to tell Gus and Madeleine. I should probably let O'Hara and Lassiter know. From what Gus has told me, Shawn had called O'Hara a few times since he left."

Karen nodded as Henry stands. "Let me break it to O'Hara and Lassiter, you've got enough on your plate."

Henry smiled sadly, "Thanks Karen."

She reached out and gave him a hug, "Just keep me informed. You and Shawn are practically family." Stepping back from him, she added, "And I except you back at work Monday morning."

"Of course, Chief," Henry smirked before leaving