A Royal Celebration in Hunter Fell

by ipegasus

Finally, the wedding between now, Bann Gilmore and his beloved, Tara Cousland, is bound to take place. In the Bannorn of all places. This raises a few eyebrows and further complicates the rivalry between the two Cousland heirs.

1. Chapter 1

This story borrows characters from several authors, David Gaider, who created the Dragon Age storyline, DA:O the game and Immortality who further extended the Ser Gilmore storline in the DA:O game. This is an original storyline but there are many re-caps so that readers who know the game will be able to find their way around. So it could be labeled as "an elaboration", on ideas suggested by any of the above mentioned authors to keep inline with an already established story line. Sadly or necessary, I felt to not make these references would leave too many readers confused if I failed to do this. So hopefully, people will play the DA:O game, adding in Immortality's Ser Gilmore mod and figure out what may be missing here. I hope I have said enough though so that is not entirely necessary to follow along with this story. I own the characters that I have made up for this story. This is not for profit and purely for entertainment. I am not against other writers who want to either further along this story or come up with stories of their own with my own characters as long as they do not alter them so much that I cannot recognize them. Better to make up your own names, and characters instead.

This is basically a ones-shot. Or an introduction to a very long and rather extensive tale I will publish in the near future. That story line isn't always so romantic and can get somewhat grisly as it moves along. The only thing really painful in this one is a few bruised egos. Other than that I hope it is a happy story that most people will enjoy. Since I am writing about adult relationships, some younger kids just might think it is tedious. I didn't get explicit in any occasions so hopefully it doesn't violate these new, Kinder-rules. Thank you for reading.

The morning dawn, slowly, brought light seeping into the once darkened chamber that Tara Cousland had been occupying for the last two months since her arrival to Hunter Fell. Barely awake, she still tossed about trying to fight the urge to wake up before she really must. Familiar sounds slipped into her hearing as pots clanged and footsteps scurried around down the hall. She listened for the tune of morning songbirds to try to lull herself back into slumber. Tara was fighting with her conscious now to steal one more moment of blissful rest before she had to start her busy day. Just than, suddenly. a smile trace across her face as she remembered her seemingly ceaseless arguments with her soon-to-be groom the night before. He could be so rigid when it came to protocol and so rebellious when it came to their following it under certain circumstances she pointed out to him.

How she couldn't resist laughing back at him, blaming him, for nurturing her rebellious nature. Apparently she was so turned around by him that her duty to her station became a mere obstacle she had found that she had to only maneuver herself around. Of course, skillfully. Sloppiness could get at least one of them killed if caught by those who would judge them wrongly. They had to therefore look out for each other. This came to be their credo of sorts. She accepted this explanation of Rory's because she had a strong brother in front of her. She had no sense that she would have to take up control over Highever, thus, whom she married should be of little importance to her otherwise, loving parents.

So, with this stance the two of them took it didn't surprise her much when Rory tried his best to reason why she had no right to ask him to sleep in his own room last night. He was quite against the idea and was willing to give her a good fight on his own behalf. Yet, this time, she wouldn't give in. Oh, he was very good when it came to debate. Normally they did sleep together. Tara though felt that this day, their wedding day, with all of the preparation she had to do before the ceremony, it was probably better and more respectful, if they allowed each other the time and space needed to greet this grand event.

"Tara, one would think we were marrying in a palace! Granted, we did have that option but you know I wouldn't give over my authority to the king in any way. If we dared to plan any event there, you are sure to run into too many people who must insist on doing things their way."

"We already agreed on that issue. Why bring it up now? It's just custom that we meet at the alter is it not? Don't you want to be a little bit surprised when you see me there?"

"And what are you planning? I know what you are wearing. I suppose someone will spend hours on your hair. The villagers will be impressed. I'm sure of it. It isn't everyday, royalty shows up in the Bannorn. If anything, you should be concerned that the king doesn't show you up at the event."

"Only you would dare to say that to me! I'm trying not to be mad at you for not understanding my challenge and now? You want to intimidate me on my appearance? If perchance, King Therin does make such an impression on you, I will cry and sulk, I promise you for it, but than what can I do? If you change your mind suddenly and marry the king instead? Of course it will be quite a scandal. For this quaint area? People might rouse a riot but for my part? I'll keep my weapons in their proper place and just mourn my fate."

"If I have a terrible moment where I would throw you over for the King, I would beg that you slay me on the spot! No one would judge you for it. My father will grieve my departure some but even he would agree, you showed us all mercy, in a time of utter madness." He came back at her as he stood firmly behind her, teasing her and hoping to win his argument. However weak it must turn out to be. At least he was delaying her departure and that was worth all the protesting he could muster.

"Good than at least we are settled on that complaint. I hope."

"I just don't see your point in all of this? No matter what you choose to wear, there will be no denying I was at least in your bed once in awhile. You are five month with child. How do you propose to hide that fact from our adoring audience?"

"Don't make me lose my courage, Rory. Actually, I think my gown is so well fashioned that it ..well…was designed to distract the audience so much from my midsection."

"Ah, well, that is true. I was hoping I didn't need to wear a suit of armor to the alter. Milady, please tell me I won't have to fight my way out of the Chantry doors so that I might leave safely with you."

"I much prefer that you didn't go to that extreme. I like what you chose out to wear for our wedding. Do what you must but we already agreed no ale or wine until later in the reception."

"Does that include myself as well?"

"It is not common for you to drink before lunch. Is there a change in your routine, I should be aware of?"

"Ha, ha, no and no I don't plan on being drunk either at my own wedding. I also don't plan on spending the whole evening listening to the tirade of quips our friends, I'm sure, have saved up especially for this occasion."

"I don't see how we could avoid much of it. I do appreciate the efforts you have put into our wedding. I had resigned myself to a very simple affair just between us and a few friends."

"Yet, you really did want your brother to attend however. Not to mention your subtle scheming to attach your brother to our friend. Had we married simply, it wouldn't really feel like a wedding at all? I just couldn't bring myself to rob you of something I know is dear to you."

"To me? Are we only doing this now to please me?"

"No, of course not. I asked you, remember? Even before I was sure, though I had little doubt, that you were expecting. I know things such as this can end poorly. When you hesitated to talk to me at all on the subject, I knew for now, I must allow you to carry your burden in silence."

"So you knew earlier? I didn't want you to lose your life or worse, do something very foolish, trying to protect me from what we both knew I had to do."

"You must have been worried though? I mean I was. Even moreso when Alistair came down and told me what Riordan said. Alistair said he remembered my telling him how bad you were with sharing news that could effect our fighting styles or motives."

"I can't believe Alistair felt it was right for him to talk so openly with you behind my back."

"You should know Alistair's motives by now? Just as he knew mine. I couldn't slay the archdemon. I had every intension of trying my best. I don't know if finally Alistair suspected that you might be pregnant? Considering you were the one to finally slay the beast, it is best for me to believe that he didn't. I don't know exactly what compelled him to speak out, except for what I already mentioned to be honest."

"Yet, you didn't tell me that he did until later? He told you about the ritual too? That surprised me more than the other, I must confess."

"Tara, you know why I didn't say anything. It was difficult as it was that night for us. You were so quiet and didn't want to talk to me about what you and Riordan spoke of. I love you though and it was worth my effort to move you past your fears in as loving a way I knew how."

"I'm sorry I was being so difficult that night. It was just so hard to digest the thought that we might not ever have a future together. Would you come to hate the memory of me because of the choices I had already made?"

"You mean to join up with the Grey Wardens? To fight in the Blight so directly?"

"Yes. I mean, …I feared you would have to give up all hope of having children of your own with me. That was bad enough but what if I had to slay the archdemon? Would you hate me for it? Die trying to protect me from my own fate? I just felt so guilty for even starting this relationship with you because of so many unknowns about any future we might hope to have, even if we survived the Blight."

"All of those issues I had already come to terms with Tara. That is why I didn't bring up what Alistair had told me. I love you. I realize that along with that comes all of those other things. To me though…I mean aren't you happy that we can finally be together, as we should be?"

"Oh, yes, of course I am. It was just that night … I'm sorry. I was too upset by the news to dare to bring up the subject with you than."

"Of course you were. I could understand what you were so afraid of telling me. At least you allowed me to help you put some of that anxiety aside. I had already resolved that if it was to be our last night together, I wasn't about to waste it. No matter what the future might bring. I mean, I was a Knight of Highever. That meant that I was required to scout out in the Korcari Wilds at regular intervals. All sorts of dangers lurked out there to challenge us with. You knew that as well and yet you still took the risk of falling in love with me. Knowing that on any of our exhibitions, I may not ever come back again. Now, we both shared a similar risk. So you see? How could I honestly be angry with you and the choices you felt you had to make? At least, I had no right to question them or make you feel poorly because of them. Who knows what Duncan would have done had you rejected his offer of protection with conscription?"

"Even that protection though too was short lived, wasn't it? It matters not now. You are probably right. It was best we not waste our whole evening debating the issue. I wasn't trying to be so difficult that night. Thank you for being so understanding and so persuasive. Not that I ever had much of a defense against your affectionate ways of seducing me to do your will."

"I don't mind a challenge, once in awhile. As long as I am convinced I will win. At least when it comes to convincing you why, as lovers, it was important that we not expend too much effort avoiding what pleases us both so well. Am I right?"

"You are right. I really do appreciate your efforts. I wasn't afraid of having to finally face the archdemon. I really wanted to put an end to all of the suffering that was going on around us in Fereldon. I was only concerned about you. How was I going to convince you that only a Grey Warden could kill the archdemon? I knew you would feel it was more Alistair's duty than my own but he was to be the king. Surely, my life was worth sacrificing for the good of the people of Fereldon? These were my people too. Oh, it was such a heavy weight to have to bear, with so little time to actually plan out a vital battle plan. We had so little true knowledge of the foe we just had to defeat."

"I know. I am just so relieved that I could be there to comfort you. I hope you realize that having that one more night to spend with you meant everything to me. I… I wanted to bring up the baby but than thought twice about it. I had to get that out of my mind for the time being. Even though it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I reasoned that it would only cause you more tension, if you felt guilty about having to fight the archdemon under such conditions. Or worse, find some way to punish yourself for just needing my affection so much. I was happy and privileged beyond compare that you shared your life, your love, with me. Even if our time together was to be so short. Never would I have passed up such an opportunity. You can accuse me rightly so of being so selfish. I know, it was something I should have weighed and at least discussed more seriously with you but I didn't. I easily accepted that because you were now tainted, that was not something we had to really be so concerned with. We had so much going on back than. I just had to steal whatever moments that I could, to share with you all of the love I know I held back from you for far too long."

"I felt the same way with you. I'm so happy you are so determined and strong minded. Had you not been so talented at distracting me from my own thoughts, I am sure I would have just spent the whole night trying to cry myself to sleep."

"Really? Than I am even more grateful that instead we put it to much better use! Even if I hadn't been able to speak to Alistair, I still would have acted in the same manner. I was determined, if I died and you had a chance of living, at least I would leave you with a fond memory of how much you were loved by myself at least."

"And why not? After you had already ruined me for any other man who might have dared to take your place? I can't imagine anyone that I could love as much as I have loved and always will love you."

"I at least put in a good effort at it I must confess."

"I still think about that night once in awhile. You really were amazing. I needed you so much that night."

"I know. I couldn't believe how much I had working against me either. But having to build a romance on the road? I thought you might be worried about Alistair's predicament. He was a grown man. I wasn't going to let it distract you from enjoying the evening. Luckily, I knew my way around a kitchen and was able to bribe some staff to find me some champagne, fruit and cheese for me to feed to you. Even one of the maids, a little disappointed that I was seeking out some flowers for my special someone, else, helped me find some nice ones to give to you on such short notice. I started to realize I was imagining all of the things I wanted to give to you on our wedding day. I saw that I had no real gift to give to you otherwise. I wished that I had thought more about that day but what could I do? I was determined though that I was going to convince you that the only thing important that night was how much we loved each other. And still do."

"I was so surprised at all you did accomplish for me. I can't say much of it was what I would have planned for our honeymoon. I just would have enjoyed a more tranquil situation, that's all, for us. Our real honeymoon will be nicer than that was."

"I'm sorry that you were so disappointed. I didn't have much to work with at such short notice. You said you still think about it. I hope all of it wasn't that bad."

"I wasn't disappointed with you. Eating is never more enjoyable than when I get to do it alone with you. Even as children you loved to tease me. Take away my food or try to trick me into eating something awful. I suppose I was lucky that you didn't think you had enough time to put up with my giving you a hard time about your teasing me."

"No, not that night. I needed your affection so much. It was more fun to use good food and drink to entice you into doing more pleasurable things don't you think?"

"Yes, my love. You are delicious. Amazing what you can pry from me for only grapes."

"Grapes can be hard to come by, during a Blight. And chocolate proved to be incredibly valuable I found out. I had to work with what I could get my hands on."

"I am grateful. Having your hands all over me proved the most rewarding."

"I could have lived without any of the other things if I had to you know that. I just used the props to convince you that you were so important to me. I had some time to kill as well. I did have all of these things available to me so why not use them? For you, my love, I would do anything to please you that night. As long as it included just you and me that is. I wasn't willing to give up my selfish ways."

"No and I was the happier for it. You deserved everything I could do to please you. It wasn't the honeymoon I wanted for us. I hardly had anything nice to wear. No perfumes to please you with. I felt uncomfortable some because you did all of that for me on such short notice. I hadn't any time to do much for you. That's all."

"All of those other things are nice to have but you didn't do too poorly with just a sheet to wrap yourself into. Than again, I was quite pleased with what you usually wore under your armor for me. I was so hungry for your love though it hardly even mattered really."

"No, I guess not. It still was an incredible night. I never wanted it to end. I hated falling asleep when I finally did. I knew though we had no idea how long our fight was going to last and we had to be alert. At least I was able to get you to sleep. No easy task I must say but always worth my effort of course."

"I did. Though I had to keep distracting myself because my conscious thoughts kept telling me we needed a good strategy to approach this battle with and I had so little information to work with. I must commend you, my love, in your ability as well to keep my mind totally focused on you when you want and expect me to pay attention to you."

"I had years of practice. Your one weakness is me. When we finally fell asleep in each other's arms I thought I could die right than and be the happiest woman in all of the kingdom. At least until I got that stomach cramp to remind me that other things were going on in my body besides our own loving endeavors'."

"Did it hurt much? You didn't mention it to me. I did know that you liked your stomach rubbed as well as other important parts. Such a hard job I have being an expectant father."

"I know! You started to just rub my stomach spontaneously often which was nice and such a comfort to me. My body wasn't initially very happy to have to make room for our fellow traveler here. It was very happy to have all of that good food to eat that night. Even after our elaborate dinner feast Eamon put out for us I got so hungry later on. I can't believe how hungry sometimes I feel? I was afraid we might be expecting twins. Taking into consideration how much we both enjoy our mating, it was entirely possible. Now I just want it to be healthy. Not too big so I can deliver it all when the time comes upon me."

"Twins? Considering how some of our evenings went I wouldn't be too surprised if that did happen. It doesn't feel that way does it? I mean, I would think that carrying twins, you would feel them both moving around inside of you don't you think?"

"I would think so? Like two fish in a pond, so to speak, I suppose? I've never been with child before so I have nothing else to compare all of this upon? It will be quite a surprise to me if that happened, Our physician had not suggested such a thing and I dare not think to bring it up as a topic for discussion."

"It might explain this sudden weight gain of yours? I'll trust the doctor for right now than."

"I would hardly imagine that you were such a small, wee child."

"Somehow my mother made it through it all. Sadly, not even my sister survived her trial as it were. I find it better though not to dwell too much on those sort of thoughts right now."

"We made it through the crucible so far and now we have so much happiness to look forward too! I am so happy to be here and all of the time we have now to love each other."

"Which is why I am grateful that Alistair told me what he did that night. I think he told me so I wouldn't go after the archdemon, even if I feared the worst for you. We had some hope. It stayed my hand in the end. He did tell me that he was going to do his best to spare you, your life. He went through with the ritual fearing that in the end even he might fail you."

"I cannot understand why he mentioned it to you though?"

"Maybe he hoped I could give him some alternative? I wasn't a Grey Warden, so I couldn't take his place? You were a woman, that put you out of the drawing."

"Right, so why expose himself like that? I don't see how I could have done it myself. I mean, if I was a man, that would be a whole different scenario of course."

"Maybe he wanted me to know, how far he was willing to go to help protect you. Maybe, he just wanted to make sure, if anything went wrong, even later on, that I would set things right for him. In case he died in his fight against the archdemon his sacrifice didn't mean that you didn't have the chance to win and still survive.. A warning perhaps? That a great threat might lay on the horizon because you may have to take up the throne if he failed in his attempt to slay the archdemon?"

"But I already knew of all this? I still wasn't thinking what my taking the throne would entail for me? As long as you are not tainted that shouldn't be a challenge at least. If I also failed? None of that would come into question. If that was so, none of us would be sitting on the throne so all of that would be put by the wayside."

"It hardly boosted my confidence any but I did have a greater respect for him; for his sacrifice."

"It is possible too, that he just wanted to remind us both, how much he was willing to give, so that we had a chance to live out our lives together?"

"I will try to see it in that light than, Tara. He did not look well and I was never more happy not to be a Grey Warden than at that very moment. I am sure he would have gladly passed that cup over to me."

"Would you have done it?"

"Please, let's not talk of such dreadful things tonight at least. To save your life? I would do almost anything. I mean, how could I face you, after going through something like that act? I really don't know?"

"I would still be there for you. It would have made for a very difficult night for us. We have had nights when all we really could do is just hold each other close. I was just so grateful I could do just that much for you when the fighting got so intense. I enjoy those nights when we could have more fun and really make the most of each other's company. But those other times were just as important to me because most of all, I need to be able to hold you in my arms. Or feel your arms safely wrapped around me. As much as we can possibly make that a reality. You understand what I mean, right?"

"Given the choice, well ….? I prefer those other ones but yes, I feel the same way. While I will make the most of those that allow us a lot more intimacy between us. It would have been hard to have to face you after doing such a thing. I can't say I would feel very good about myself. Conversation would really be beyond me. I'm sure I would not be very happy to have been a man in general, believing that was my only chance at saving your life."

"Do you think you would resent me, for even bringing it up? I mean have to turn away from me after all of that."

"Resent you? No, I would be angry if you chose not to allow me to at least try to save your life. It would only be one night after all. I would just be ashamed of myself for having to do such a thing, that is all I mean by it. I can't say I wouldn't be angry afterwards."

"At me? I understand …."

"No, no, not at you. At the Maker, Andraste, anyone I could think of who would force me into such a situation. I might choose to be tortured again, rather than have to use someone like that. To use myself in such a way? It wouldn't be easy. I know that is true. Hard to imagine Alistair getting through it myself. He's more of a prude than I am about those sort of experiences that is to say."

"I don't know how he did it either. He must have, since I am here. I much rather not serve as the Arlessa, you know this. For many reasons but how could I turn down Alistair, knowing what he did for me?"

"For us, Tara. Though putting you into that position demands that you maintain a constant link with his Privy Counsel. While you may be merely the wife of a local Bann, this position as the Arlessa further strengthens both your ties to Fereldon's throne and to him as well."

"I am must too busy between my responsibility to the Grey Wardens of Fereldon as well as the business of Amaranthine to bother any with the Court. He must come to Amaranthine if he cares at all about my opinion on anything. And it must be when I am present there as well. Other than that? All I see of him is his couriers now and again when it seems my opinion, good or bad is needed to move some issue further along in his Court."

"It is still a heavy burden to lay before you. If anything happened to the King, your brother would be forced to step forth for even though Eamon is now a Teryn, his reign does not supersede that of your father's. His place was already set-up long before the old Arl's was."

"True though Fergus may bow down to Teryn Eamon's rule out of courtesy."

"Or you really mean, "convenience", since he too would rather rule only over Highever than have to answer to all of Fereldon."

"I cannot blame my brother for such a move. Though I am not as confident as you are that he will step aside as you are suggesting he would do. I see my brother's confidence growing as he settles into his role as the Teryn of Highever."

"All I get to see is his disdain over your final choices in spouses unfortunately."

"It is not his place to choose. Though he would like to think the passing of our father gives him certain rights."

"And responsibilities don't doubt."

"Never the less, I will not allow him to further rule over me. I have just enough influence now in Fereldon to push my weight around just so, if called upon to do so."

"Our alliances built during the Blight have been serving us well. Let us just rejoice that I didn't have to make that awful choice in regards to that ritual of Morrigan's. It was definitely not how I wanted to spend what could have been the last night of my life. I must remember to offer up a worthy offering to the Maker for at least sparing me that task during the Blight. Especially considering how meaningful that night was in my life."

"It meant a lot to me too, my love. At least I can report that Morrigan showed some resistance to the task herself. I felt awful being put into the middle of the whole affair. Something so … well intimate …I wouldn't want too many people to know about it. That's all. I'm still amazed that Alistair even told you about it. I knew Alistair was not going to know what to think of me for even bringing the topic up to begin with."

"I'm surprised he didn't blackmail you into doing him some type of personal favor. In exchange for your life. I'm sure I would have come up with something. Even on such short notice."

"But than, you are a very wicked man."

"Only somewhat wicked. He didn't did he? I would think that was something you couldn't hide from me."

"When would I find the time? No, he didn't. It would have put me in a very awkward position at least? I wouldn't know what to really do? Could I tell you if I did do it? How could I even hide anything from you? He probably knew that was true too. I would have, if you told me it was the only way we could be together. To save our child's life."

"So you would have told me. Even though you know I might have ruled against it. Taken my chances that Alistair would slay the archdemon? Maybe even forced you out of the fight?"

"That would have been suicide. Yes, I love you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you intentionally. I know it would hurt me more to lie to you about it. Wouldn't you resent me, if I was so deceptive about it all?"

"Probably. It would make it look more …..I don't know? It would seriously cause me to question your motives for giving in to such a betrayal of our love for each other. I'm sure I could have convinced the man that he had no place in trying to blackmail you, when as I said, I could have taken you completely out of the fight had I chosen to do so. If he failed? Well, it would be a poor choice if I knocked you out completely but than the archdemon would kill me and none of us would have lived to fight about it."

"No, I suppose not? I am grateful than that it all turned out as it did. You should have seen Alistair's face, Rory. He thought I was trying to tease him or make some sort of sport out of the subject regarding Morrigan's awkward request. After some of the things Alistair and I had already said to each other in the past? Morrigan putting me up to this morbid task seemed like my twisting a knife into an already open wound."

"Not much could have been done about that unfortunately. I could understand Alistair's feeling about the subject initially. Though I was hardly qualified to be of any condolences to the man. Being the author of some of his own personal grief. Even I didn't suspect his feelings for you were that serious. I only wished that we were able to leave Highever together. If only to spare the man any future grief."

"In his heart, Rory, I know he understands. I am grateful that you could see how important it was that I not walk away from my friendship with him because of it. He needed me than. I know you needed me too. It was hard to split myself up like that. To keep my emotions intact but I needed to and I did so without having to deprive you of the love and affections you truly had earned over time. As if I could hold myself back from loving you. Impossible. It was hard enough when we were younger. How wonderful it has all been to bask so generously in your love. In our ability to share our love with each other so easily. It just feels so natural and so right to me. Knowing though that there really was even the smallest of hopes of us both surviving the Blight if Alistair was willing to dare such a thing? That made it a little bit easier to approach him with such an awful request. Part of me hoped he would turn it down. He was very concerned with the outcome of all of it and what it might mean to Fereldon in the far off future. I assured him, we will do our best to make sure no one could usurp his throne."

"I can't imagine her task being any easier than his own."

"Rory, sometimes, you can be rather insensitive to the man."

"Come now, Tara. He treated me like a dog he really wanted to kick to the wayside often enough. I took it only because I too had lost you once and it wasn't that far back that knew what it felt like to lose something precious to me. Of course he barely knew you. He could hardly compare what he was feeling with what I went through for many years after we were forced to live apart."

"No but in the moment we don't really understand that well, do we now? Alistair didn't seem too shaken up from his experience with Morrigan. At least he graciously kept that much to himself. Of course they weren't passing notes or flirting with each other either the next day."

"Oh, to say such things, Tara! What a show that would have been! How lucky they are that we didn't have Oghren or Zeveran in our final onslaught. Those two are unforgiving when any opportunity to make rude remarks comes along. The things they would come up with? Makes one want to take a hammer or some sort of blunt instrument to their heads."

"Not that Oghren would have noticed the sting too much. Best that we didn't have to witness their remarks. I had so much more on my mind than those two that night."

"I knew, it would be a miracle if you didn't lose the baby. I didn't want to add anymore pressure on you thinking that I would grieve too much if we lost it. I was helpless in this matter. All I could do was to try to make things as easy as I could for you. I tried to help; just by being there. To lend a hand when you felt you needed it or even when you didn't. I knew you wouldn't allow me to carry around your sword and bow for you. Trying to get you to put aside more menial tasks was difficult enough. I had the advantage of being a gentleman. You at least will tolerate that from me most of the time. It's the best I could hope for. Often, late at night, I laid awake wondering what was the Maker thinking? Burdening you with a child when we had so much still left to accomplish! I'd stroke your brow, waiting for you to grow restless from yet another nightmare too hard to ignore. I wanted to comfort you more than anything else. To reassure you that I was capable of protecting you from further harm."

"It was such a comfort to have you with me to sleep with at night."

"I know. It was more just another one of my fantasies. Well, I could still draw my sword swiftly. So when the darkspawn started to show up in unexpected attacks, I at least was able to reduce the damage that they caused. Hopefully this is one reason why our child is still growing, thriving I'd say, from your appearance. What more can a father hope for?"

"I am so happy that I can give you this child, Rory. I know you dearly longed for a family of our own. It's such a comfort, a little joy, to relax some and marvel over this time when we can become parents in our own right."

"I also knew during the Blight, if I held you back, you would only fight harder to resist my actions. No matter what, we were both fighting to give our child a future. If we couldn't offer it that, what right did we have to give it life at all when only death loomed all around us?"

"Yes, I had to come to that conclusion too. I …was … as … careful…. as I rightly could be but… I just couldn't ..couldn't ..let that hope stand in the way of our victory. We both know, we couldn't trust that Alistair could slay the archdemon. His attempt was valiant enough. We had to work together and neither of us knew who would strike that final blow. We also knew we couldn't let that creature escape our grasp. It was a risk neither of us could dare to take after Riordan had failed in his own attempt to slay the foul creature."

"Our love has pulled us through some very challenging times in our life. I only love you even more. If that is even humanly possible for going through with this wedding ceremony for me. What a pleasure it is to work in the fields by day knowing all of this is for you and the family we are sure to have soon enough. It's so difficult to wait. Pregnancy seems to draw on so when you want so much, so soon. I just want to be past this trial and finally be able to sigh in relief. With the Blight now well past us soon having a mother and child to coddle and care for seems delightful. Already, the babe is getting big. Why, just the other day my father said we better get on with all of this wedding business because it won't be long before you pop!"

"He didn't say that! Why must you go on to say things like this?"

"Well, something in that order but it did make me laugh out loud. Fredrick almost dropped the laundry. It was funny in the moment, Tara."

"I'm sorry than that I missed it then. Sometimes you don't know how lucky you are that I can't carry around a sword here and appear presentable."

"I haven't forgotten that knife you still insist on wearing under your dress. Not that it would be as easily to get to as before."

"Not as hard as you might think."

"Okay, you don't have to prove it to me. I was only teasing you. It was however quite a scramble to get this all together in such a rush. We had the funeral to get past before any of this could really be faced by any of your family at least. I was not going to have my child born out-of-wedlock. My father would never approve of such a thing. Though I am an honorable enough man, even if I did secure my catch prematurely."

"I could accuse you of such a deception if I wasn't so surprised myself to find out I was pregnant. I had already resigned myself to thinking we would be childless. Though, taking into consideration how many children must have been left orphans as I am? I was not afraid of our taking in some of those orphans to parent as our own kin."

"True. However, you are quite pregnant my love."

"That I am. It is difficult to imagine we are, well, more of a loving couple than others must be?"

"On that account my love, perhaps we are more active than many couples might be. I mean you, well, I have little, if any opposition from you. If anything, I am a little surprised how…uhm…attentive you are in such matters." Rory said cautiously looking down at her wondering how her response to such an accusation might be.

"Me? I suppose, … I mean … I want to be a good lover. That should mean that I not spurn your affection, least you feel I am not interested in taking care of you."

"Ha, ha, well that is a good thing than. I do appreciate your attention. Especially when I least expect it. Not all women make such an effort to be as much of a tease as you have turned out to be like."

"A tease? How can you accuse me of such a thing? That isn't very ladylike."

"I believe that is very ladylike, my love. You happen to excel at it by the way."

"You can be very romantic, Rory. Which does make me look for opportunities when I can get away with trying to seduce you even more. Too much self-control isn't such a good or fun behavior."

"At least you can't help but admit the truth. I'll remember that when the birthing comes around. I am not so much the guilty one for persistently trying to lure you into my bed."

"You do know though that I didn't want to lose your baby while fighting the Blight, right? I don't want you to believe I take this duty so lightly or that you aren't that important to me. You really are. We had to fight and we had to win. Had I not, we would have lost our child anyways. In a Blight, all of us are at risk. I deserved the chance, the right, as any other woman does to train and defend their lands and themselves from the savagery of pure evil. A man demands this right and women should not shun it either if they are able. The alternative to me, was so much worse."

"That is very subjective, my love. Not many women are cut out for fighting I'm afraid."

"Not all men either for that matter I have discovered along my journeys as well.

"So it would seem. It pains me to see any woman suffer such grievous injuries and I feel their chance of survival is at a greater risk. I know, if you couldn't fight, I would have lost you maybe forever. It wasn't worth the risk to ignore your training."

"Oh, Rory, how can it be that we had to conceive a child under such circumstance? I just don't understand it?"

"Are you sorry that this happened to us?" he kissed her forehead and started to stroke her shoulders now as he spoke, "I know, you didn't really expect it. It will be a challenge to have to travel and raise a child. I understand this also but we are wise. At least we do not have to worry about a Blight any time soon. It takes many years for such a thing to develop and we might just find a way to quell it for good? It is at least a problem begging to be solved."

"That is very true, my love." Now, she pulled his arms around her so that she could hold onto them too. "No matter what, we will become parents soon enough and that will bring about the need to discuss this with other Grey Wardens."

"It also brings hope that future generations might come into the fold because of this? As well as younger people who may not have to give up the hope of having a family of their own. There does seem to be a limit on how long before the taint becomes a problem with fertility. How would they even know this, if no other Grey Wardens have ever conceived a child before?"

"That is a good question. Though there was the question that it might not be wise for us to have children. Maybe out of fear that members will try to leave the order or it could leave us without a strong enough defense? We ourselves will be the ones to put that theory to the test."

"Never fear, my love. I vow to be worthy of the challenge. A family can lose a child under many different conditions, Tara. If a child takes on the taint, it could limit their lifespan? Maybe cause some other form of birth abnormality? These problems exist though no matter what. Without enough hard details, I for one am not willing to forgo the chance of bearing and raising a healthy child out of such fears. So no matter how many excuses you may come up with to leave my side, I am a good and swift rider. As I promised, I intend to create such a staff that I am not chained to the fields here. If you tarry too long in your absence, I assure you, that I will find the time and incentive to come out to gather you back up to me again. I'll not let these Grey Warden's excuse you from your duties to your husband."

"Ha, ha, ha, no I will take that as a promise and possibly a threat if I dare to deny you, under any circumstances. It was so hard for us, Rory when we were younger living together at Highever but not really being together as we should have been."

"I know it was. How many sleepless nights did I have because of you? I resolved it was just as well that I pull the night watch since I wasn't going to get much sleep anyways. How passionately I wanted to love you. Still, I didn't want to give up that dream of making you my wife. So, honor won out as my cause and you had to learn to trust the words that I whispered into your ear late at night."

"Such, the enchanter you were too. Out there in the garden, I really believed, we were lost in some magical paradise. That lovers from the past must also have come out to hide amongst these tall, well trimmed, hedges to relieve the suffering of their hearts. It was so enchanting those nights we stole away together."

"I seem to recall it wasn't so much your heart that you really wanted me to comfort for you."

"Yes, well, I remember how much your pulse raced too as soon as you drew me up close to kiss."

"Probably because I was scared to death of our being caught out together like that alone."

"I will make no apologies for it beating so. I didn't force you to come out and meet me in the garden. Nor was I encouraging you to repeat all of those naughty moves you were so prone to when you felt it was safe and we were alone."

"It was all my fault I see …."

"You made me long for you to touch and caress me. To want to run my hands longingly across your back ….ha, ha and you backside for that matter! I would never think to attempt such things on my own accord."

"I don't believe you. It didn't take very much of an effort on my part to lure you into a more romantic situation."

"So you say? I was never very good at hiding my true intension whenever it came to you. I was madly in love with you and I wanted you to be mine. Mine exclusively. I wanted to take care of you as well. I didn't want to make you suffer for our love. It just seemed too cruel to me. I wanted so much to believe that nothing could stop us. That no one would want to stop us from expressing how much we loved and needed this short time we made up so that we could just be together. How could anyone ever want to put an end to such happiness or deny such a love from anyone?" She squeezed his arms tighter against her right than. Leaning her head back more against his broad chest with a familiar sigh. "Uhm … you always made me feel so good, caught up in your loving embrace. When you kissed me, time and space simply disappeared into some vast universe that only the two of us ever shared. I was such a dreamer back then."

"You were so wonderful and sensual." easily he found himself being drawn back in time by the familiarly seductive tone in her voice, "It just seems to come naturally to you I felt. There was that one night when we were in the garden and a Summer storm came down unexpectedly upon us. Do you remember that night?" Rory spoke softly to her than. He kissed behind her ear, than he kept kissing down her neck while he spoke.

"That evening? Of course… the rain was such a surprise! I didn't expect it to rain upon us so suddenly but it turned into a very special night for us."

"It was. Well, it is a night I will never forget. Even if it isn't one of those stories you would share with your grandchildren."

"I hope not. I wasn't that bad, was I?

"Define behaving badly please?"

"Maybe I was behaving rather foolishly but it was how I felt in that moment. How life for us really was suppose to be like. Hopefully you didn't share it though with anyone else did you?"

"I might have brought it up on a night I was feeling rather lonely and we were talking about our experiences we had with women."

"But they didn't know who it was right?"

"Ser Swindon probably figured it out."

"You mean Kristopher Swindon?"

"He was my closest friend after all. It was such an amazing experience for a young man who had never been so intimate with a woman before. I was delighted at how things just happened so spontaneously. I mean who was this temptress I met in the gardens that night? I had started to kiss you as it began to rain. I was thinking we had to stop what we were doing before you got soaking wet. But you didn't want to leave? You and water huh? You just tossed your shawl over our heads and kept kissing me. When we stopped to catch our breath you asked me to sit down. You told me you were afraid, since you had to reach up to kiss me that the rain would make the ground too slippery to stand upon"

"I mentioned that I really should go but you begged me to stay. So I followed your direction. I removed my coat to sit down on. You than sat down on my lap, tossing your shawl over our heads and we started to kiss again."

"I just couldn't help myself! You were just so irresistible. Getting all wet, I suppose brought back founder memories of you washing in the river I suppose."

"I see…hum.. I don't remember your bringing it up right than? I do remember laughing back at you because it all seemed so insane in the moment. How could I resist though such a wild and crazy impulse? A gush of wind picked up and finally blew the shawl off of our heads but neither one of us wanted to stop. Soon you pulled away from me some, leaning back your head, allowing the rain to wash your hair back away from your face. I waited to see what you would do next but you didn't turn back to face me so I started to kiss down your neck. Just following the river of water that flowed down to your chest. I expected you to look down and warn me I had gone far enough but still you ignored me. So I remember playfully starting to untie the strings to your bodice, slowly, expecting a reaction out of you but still nothing. Until finally you spoke up.."

"Yes, I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to stop. I was curious to see how far you would go? My hair was coming loose and I didn't like it getting into my face. The rain washed it behind me quite nicely I felt. Plus I wondered what your reaction would be if I didn't say anything? All I could think about than was how hot we were getting and how cool the rain felt against my skin. You seemed so curious about me and I knew what you must have been thinking. In some unexplainable act of passion I simply tugged at my loosened sleeves and pulled them down. The water, it just felt so invigorating with your kisses."

"And I suppose you thought that no one would want to come out this far in the pouring rain than? I couldn't explain why you suddenly did what you did to me!"

"I wanted to shock you. It did work."

"Oh yeah! Remember? At first I thought you didn't mean to well…, expose yourself so much. We were still outside after all! I couldn't force myself to take my eyes off of you though my conscious was screaming that I shouldn't be doing this."

"I looked down at you and said, "You stopped kissing me. Why?"

"Smiling like a devious sea witch you were and here I was, nervous and taken back some by your unexpected behavior. Little more of you now was left to my imagination. Of course a part of me was thinking this is exactly what I wanted to be doing. That part usually wins out unfortunately. Or fortunately, depending on how you want to view the situation. I finally broke the spell long enough to look up at you, thinking about what you had just said to me. Also taking into account that you were not even trying to hold up your dress to preserve your modesty as you normally would. So I started back to where I left off and only paused when you sighed out loud from my kissing. I was feeling now like a man possessed by emotions I worked hard to avoid. I could tell you wanted me to keep kissing you. I didn't want to stop either. Seeing the rain running down all over you was very mesmerizing." He recited feeling his pulse quickening from just recalling the things that happened that night from his memories of its' enlightenments.

"You starting to fondle me which felt so good. At that moment I was simply overwhelmed by the sudden urge to see what it felt like to have your lips against me. I knew by the way you had kissed down my neck before that you were so curious about things that you could not so easily see. Or if my neckline plunged you found it difficult to turn away when I bent down to pick something up. How Cecilia and I would burst out laughing once we hurried down the hallway where you couldn't see how poorly we laughed over your embarrassment. Over that spell you obviously fell under at such moments."

"How kind you two were to laugh at our weakness'. It just made me turn even redder in the moment."

"I know! You would pretend to get angry over something made up just hoping to hide how embarrassed you were that you got caught! Gawking as you were!"

"I wasn't trying to gawk at all! I was as surprised as you were in the moment to be caught so …."

"So what? Staring at an opportune moment? So shameful for a young man in your position to be so found out like that!" Tara faked a disapproving look his way.

"I wasn't trying to be so rude. You know better than that. It was so ladylike to go rushing out of the room like two little girls giggling away like children?"

"No, I would think not but to burst out laughing at your expense seemed too cruel. Even if you were the one gawking at me like that."

"Because that didn't bring everyone in the room to turn to see what all the fuss was about? How did I know you were going to just bend over like that? Right in front of me no less? You did it on purpose. Trying to embarrass me because you two were bored to tears over the evenings entertainment."

"If that was true, than I applaud myself for conjuring up something much more exciting than what must have been boring us to sleep that evening at least."

"Did you really do things like that on purpose? Just to embarrass me with?"

"What do you think? Weren't we suppose to drop our handkerchiefs to prompt young men to bend over so that we could kick them easier?"

"I don't believe that really was the custom's intension, Lady Cousland."

"No? Oh well, it did make it so much easier to get a boy to stop staring at you when it started to become a bore."

"I knew better than to make it quite so easy for you to kick me around so well. No, you had to work harder if you wanted to catch me doing something I probably wasn't suppose to be doing."

"What were you just saying about pretending to be angry when really what you were was embarrassed by your own behavior?"

"It was getting harder to get past your silly games as you got older. You had a lot more to distract me with and it was hard not to notice it."

"You! Deserved every moment of embarrassment I could heap upon you, dear Ser. Even though I do admit, we were acting very childish. We were still young. I was hardly going to play those flirting games other girls grew so fond of. Unless of course I could find something fun to come of it all."

"No not you. It was good for a laugh whenever some poor fool did fall for that trick of yours. It's a wonder any boy ever fell for you in the first place."

"Oh many did but not as you are suggesting!"

"No, I was being serious. Usually, it was all done on a dare. Those of us who knew your game couldn't help but play along whenever we could. Watch really did get boring after a couple of hours, watching the crows fly by."

"Than how is it that you become so smitten with me? If all I was, was a mischievous prankster who loved to embarrass the boys just so we could laugh at you?"

"You know why. I was also smart enough to see how you played your games so that I too could take advantage of them and play along. I also didn't have to gawk at you because I knew very well what you hid under your dresses. It was just bad timing on my part and your bringing attention to me suddenly that caused me to blush. Which yes, we all know how much I hated it so it did make me angry. I didn't have to make that up. It was the truth." This he stated as fact though maybe, it wasn't true in all cases. That thought did make him laugh at himself before coming back at her with another reply. She looked back over at him unimpressed with his answer.

"Come now, Tara, if I happened to catch you looking up at me, didn't I just smile back at you?"

"Yes, but that was once we got older."

"At some point I figured out how to embarrass you, didn't I? Of course, by than, how could I really complain about such a view?"

"You were so cruel."

"No more than you were to me back than. I had a lot of catching up to do as well. I could not get away with as much mischief as you always did. At least, once we were older, we did get punished a lot less."

"We were better at playing the game and teasing was to be expected among teenagers. It was still a lot of fun."

"I do remember when it stopped becoming as much of a game as something more serious."

"That's when it became a lot more fun."

"You mean, a lot more dangerous."

"That too but it took some time before I was willing to allow much of that to sink in. Finally, I knew you really were in love with me. Still, I wasn't quite sure, just what that would lead us up to yet? That particular night in the garden though, I wondered what you would do. I couldn't quite say I knew exactly how you would play that hand out."

"You weren't afraid of getting caught in such a state? I was waiting for some kind of retribution that never came from you."

"I wasn't even thinking about it. I was remembering Mariane, and Nan, talking away in the kitchen about how rude some men were and how they loved to try to see down under your dress. So I flippantly asked them why bother? Boys know about girls and girls know about boys don't they? Nan said of course but that doesn't seem to stop them from wanting to see girls undressed. So I said well, I think if you are married you have to be that way to have babies right? Mariane just chided me, telling me not all men get married and there were places the men would go where they met up with women who got paid to take off their clothes. I was a little shocked and Nan shut up Mariane rather harshly. Reminding me that ladies do not take off their clothes unless they are married or in their room behind sturdy doors. Now I was confused and so curious. I suppose I now paid more attention to boys and where their eyes were going. Before, I guess I wasn't grown up enough to bother with but now I knew more about what you were so curious about."

"I imagine none of them talked to you about why, ladies try to cover their bosom, am I right? The part about how it arouses men to think more about such things as mating, by any chance? Hum?"

"No", I answered you back and then wickedly asked you if that was what you were thinking at that moment?"

"I was honest wasn't I? Trying to remember. . . I was rather delighted to have such a lovely view. It definitely was on my mind."

"So much so it seems you started to get the shakes. It seemed as though you were getting cold but I couldn't imagine why? It was so hot out that evening and you seemed hot to the touch? Well sort of clammy by that point. I attributed it to your being so wet. I remember pulling you closer wanting to comfort you. I was afraid that you might catch a cold?"

"And you know why I was acting that way now, right?"

"Yes, I was playing but than I didn't understand what was happening with you back than. I just remember feeling so free! Free from that tiresome bodice. From people always telling me what to do or not to do. Free to feel your warm kisses and how they made my heart race so. I just wanted more and more of you. Not even knowing what all that entailed but still wanting to enjoy how wonderful it must feel to press up against your bare chest. I had by then seen you, well, mostly undressed already. You did not look much like the young boy who came to us years ago."

"I wasn't the only one."

"True. There were many young boys who came our way. You were the only one I was eager to be with. Honestly, I was just wondering if you might be outdoors since I did not see you in the walkways. "

"So you actually went looking for me a the river?"

"It was a hot afternoon. I had a stuffy day stuck inside with my tutor. I couldn't wait to get outside to the river. I was determined that day to jump right into it."

"With your dress on?"

"Completely clothed, dear Ser. Though the thought of shedding them all was indeed a temptation. However I knew too well, to be caught in such a way would get me banned from going outdoors at all. So, imagine how surprised I was to come upon you out there?"

"But you said nothing to me? So you were spying on me. Is that polite?"

"No it was not. If you caught me though I was sure you would throw rocks at me or threaten me in some obnoxious way."

"I doubt I would have done that. Depends on how old I was at the time? From your words, I'd say I was beyond that sort of reaction by than."

"You were around eighteen I seem to recall? So anything was possible. I was pleasingly impressed at how strong you had become. You are so handsome. When you brushed your fingers through your wet hair to push it out of your face, I wanted to just swoon. Now that is a man I could definitely fall in love with I thought laughing to myself. I remember just letting myself fall backwards, loosely hitting the grassy clearing behind me because it all made me feel too giddy in the moment. My world was just spinning away around me back than. Obviously because you know, I already was in love with you. How silly that all sounds right now."

"You truly were a very silly girl. But all of that was soon to change. It happened so fast it seemed to me back than? I thought you were a nescience at times when we were younger. But when you got older. That is when my feelings made a more dangerous turn. Swindon would notice the way that I stared at you. No longer was I simply pulling at your dress ties or tossing pebbles at you to make you upset."

"I didn't miss those days either."

"I was bored. You would walk by and I just couldn't take my eyes off of you. Everything about you kept my attention." Rory confessed and than paused. Pulling her tighter into his arms as he spoke. Than, he rested his head on top of her own before he continued with such sorrow. She could feel the weight of his words with his confession.

"When you were gone, Tara, Swindon looked, staring at me and than mimicking a rope around his neck. He asked me how tight does the noose get before you really find you cannot catch your breathe?"

I thought he was mad. But later upon reflection, it made more sense to me. I couldn't give him an honest answer. He told me that was because already I had lost all of the oxygen to my brain."

"That sounds like a rather crude joke don't you think?"

"He might have been suggesting more but what he meant was I was so taken by you, I wasn't doing a good job at hiding it any longer. He was sure I had lost any sense at all. He meant, I was a dead man."

"That is cruel of him to say so."

"But he was right. Part of growing up meant that loving someone changes us over time. What started out as just playful flirting was now deadly serious. I was a dead man if I didn't find some way to break this spell you had me under."

"I am no witch. Or mage for that matter. Often back than I had to move from one place to the other. It's true, my way of dressing was more ladylike but that was expected of me."

"Ah those plunging necklines I so admired. I asked Swindon were they getting lower? He laughed at me and told me, no, I was just more of a pervert than I use to be."

"I'm sure you both had a good laugh over that! I just grew a bustline, so it must have seemed that way? Of course, mother was using me to try to catch a husband for me. Father would just look at me and ask my mother if she wasn't going too far? Surely any man could see I wasn't a little girl any longer. Was he to have to beat all of his men so often to keep their eyes off of his daughter?"

"Well, we all know the answer to that question at least. I must commend her on her fine work. There seemed no end of suitors who tried to get their hands on you."

"I hated them all. I remember often having to stuff my dress with some sort of scarf or blouse to try to hide myself. Fergus would laugh so hard at me. Tell me I better stay away from his guards dressed like that if I knew what was good for me."

"He was only looking our for our best interest."

"Why was it always me who had to dress so provocatively and than try to hide from everyone because of it? It was so cruel of mother to do that to me. Now, even you acted strange around me. I often would slip into my training outfit just so I could sneak outdoors. I had to get away from it all."

"Didn't you like dressing up? You looked so beautiful in your ball gowns. In my dreams you dressed up just for me. But in reality I knew better. I was never in a good mood during those events. I wanted to be though. More than you will know."

"If you were allowed to dance than I would have a real reason to want to look my finest. You know, my maids and my friends all teased me because of my feelings for you. Cece, would see how hard they worked on dressing me all up, like a doll to be put on display and mother was very picky about the final results. They, all except for mother, would catch me smiling and ask me if he knew how much effort you put into trying to please him?"

"They did not. How am I suppose to believe this tall tale of yours?"

"Because, you know it was true. At least by than, I was sure if all of these other men begged for my attention, surely, you too had to be impressed."

"That is a lot of wishing don't you think?"

"If I had any doubts at all, they were simply all washed away that Summer's night weren't they?"

"What a wicked temptress you became. You were only sixteen at the time I recall. I remember doing the math and reminding myself of what must be going through your head the night you are speaking of I think. What it was like to be sixteen? I was thinking your parents had done a poor job of educating you as to why women needed to be more modest around young men. I was sorely tested that evening. I was told that part of a woman's purpose was to keep their men in line and to not lead them astray like that."

"Lead you not into temptation, right? Was I leading you or just following your lead? You were kissing me. Was it so wrong to want you to keep doing that?"

"Oh, so very wrong. You tried to get me to take off my shirt and there was no way I was going to do that. Then you still lifted it up. I was helpless to stop you from removing it from me. And than you slowly moved your hands up my chest until you wrapped your arms seductively around my neck. Pressing than up against me, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, my dear. I was however powerless to stop you from doing it. I couldn't fight my own longings deep inside of me. Obviously you had a lot to learn about men. I was trying madly to think of how to explain it to you without hurting your feelings. Not to mention how much that wicked part of me was scolding me for interrupting this sensuous moment. Could I not just relax and enjoy the view? Oh, you are so beautiful. To touch you like that made me shiver inside because that is what happens to men when they get too aroused of course. I was afraid to admit that to you. As if my weakness would offend you. It was a compliment that you could excite me so easily in such a way but I was sure you were taught that it was some perversion in a man's nature that made him start thinking like some sort of animal, Even though we have so much in common with them. More than most of us are willing to admit."

"I was rather naïve about that. I just wanted more to imagine you by. It was innocent enough to want to feel how nice it must be to lie up against your bare chest. I know you worked hard to build yourself up like that. It was a fantasy of mine that I just couldn't resist. I also thought that you might like it if I did."

"It is a bit much to ask. Especially considering, your state of dress at the time."

"You are probably right. It was a wonderful experience for me. I remember your pulling at my dress so that I could sit now facing you forward. You pulled me than tightly into your arms and kissed me so passionately just than. Afterwards, we were both so out of breathe! You than leaned down to whisper into my ear."

"I remember now saying, "My love, I cannot tell you how much right now I wish we could be the lovers you are longing for us to be. I love you so much it hurts right now."

"Hurts?" That was not what I was expecting you to say to me. I remember resting my head just than against your naked chest, holding you so close and feeling so insecure. "Why would it hurt you to hold me close? To kiss me when that was all I wanted you to do more than anything else? I knew we belong together."

"Because, I want to make love to you but I can't. We can't just yet. You are too young and the risk is too high for us to manage."

"I said that I didn't understand? Wasn't this what you really wanted? My parents were already trying to marry me off to other strange men. I only wanted you."

"Yes and no. Yes, I wanted you so much but no, not enough to risk losing everything that should have opened up for us if we just waited, a year or two, until I was better situated. You know my love that one night would never satisfy either of us. Even back than. I can tell you in all honesty and we both know it is true. Once we were finally really together. Neither one of us could bear ever being parted from the other."

"I would have endured. If even for that one night if I knew you loved only me. I feared I was going to be married off to some man I hardly knew. How could I ever endure such a thing, if I never knew your love? How I anguished over just the thought of it. Mother and I got into such rows over it. More and more our grand castle become a place it was getting harder and harder to go back into."

"I 'm sorry, what do you mean by that comment?"

"Just the things my mother and my maids said to me. Fate determined that I must leave my home. Taken away by some prince who would gather me to where my real destiny laid. It was all such rubbish. If Highever wasn't to be my home where did I belong? And to whom? I didn't want to hear any of it. My mother spoke as if I was too immature to accept my fate. I wasn't. I knew my own mind. I had my own dreams of what real happiness was suppose to be like. I wanted to be with you. For us to marry and raise a family of our own. If it couldn't be in Highever, that didn't matter to me so much. As long as I had you. To love and keep me from harm. So maybe, you can imagine how hard it was to hear you say that you didn't need me at that particular moment. I was just too young still to understand the price. How much I was putting you at risk. I was afraid I was running out of time and that maybe you really didn't want me as anything more than a playmate. It was just a weak moment on my part."

"I understood that. I was pushing you emotionally too. Not thinking that you could be lead on so much to want to be more intimate with me. It wasn't talked more commonly among men. Only with women who worked for money. As if those who simply love another could never desire the comfort a man can give to a woman. We just weren't told things like that. I mean outside of marriage of course. No matter what, Tara, you are royalty and you know to meddle with the powers that be was not good policy. Not if you wanted to live out any sort of life of your own as it were. It probably didn't come into discussion more because we might start thinking that our loving a woman was something they too desired and maybe we weren't such scoundrels for trying to give them the love that they too desired from us? I'm sure to preserve your maidenhood for your husbands."

"Yes, of course. It was still a beautiful memory for me, my love." His fiancée said after turning around to face him. She reached up tenderly to stroke his head. Running her finger through his hair as she often did. "How marvelous you really are to me. Not just for your marvelous chest. Those alluring, pale green eyes of yours and this amazing red hair. You always scoff when I tell you how handsome you are. And yet all I could dream about, even in those early days, was how wonderful it would be to love you always. Even if one night was all the Maker would grant to me, it was my fondest of wishes."

"You really were such a silly girl back than. Maybe, I want to be desired for my strength of character? My steadfastness in battle. My enduring loyalty to your family. Or maybe, how much I was and have always been it would seem so in love with you? I mean plenty of men have fine physics. Especially there at Highever. The Teryn and Fergus worked us hard but we wanted to be the best. Not just me but the majority longed to test our strength in battle. If only to see it done? To be able to hold those victories in your hands. It is an incredible accomplishment."

"Those are all good reasons to fall in love with a man. I was only sixteen. Please forgive me for only wanting you because of how handsome you were. True, there were other fine men to be had. Even Swindon was an attractive man. We both know how much Cecelia loved him and I was sure, he felt the same way about her. Not that it matter much to me? No, I am silly and shallow but I am no fool. I admired you for many reasons. I was sure, if ever I was called upon to lead in any important position within Fereldon, you were the very best of men to be had. I did know all of this but at the time, my life was closing in on me. I was forever trying to outwit all the traps men were laying out before me. All the while dreaming only of you. Did you know that Lord Howard called me out on such a point?"

"I did not."

"Of course you wouldn't. He demanded to know how was it that had my heart and desires been so wound up so that no other man could have me so. What was his purpose in being here right now? A play? A composition perhaps? I turned away. We are on the terrace I remember. Than I just laughed out loud."

"He couldn't have found that reaction very amusing. He thought he was a serous prospect no doubt."

"Oh, I really didn't care! When I gained my composure I told him he was quite right. I was desperately in love with another man. Whose very presence made my heart soar as if it had wings to fly!"

"That couldn't have gone over very well did it?"

"Quite right. He was so mad at me. Why was my family wasting his valuable time if I was to have no other man. He than demanded that he had the right to know the name of his rival."

"Again I just laughed but this time at him. I told him first of all he had to become a serous competitor. By his very presence, I could assure him that he was not. Once more he demanded to know the man's name and I told him it was a well guarded secret. Such a man only lived inside my dreams. Sadly, he could not measure up to all that I needed in a man."

"You do have such an evil way to bring down a man. I recall more than a few occasions when I was ever that dear to you in our past."

"How you loved to try my patience! I had to be perfectly clear to the man don't you think? Besides, he was almost old enough to be my father. What was mother thinking in allowing such a man to have an audience alone with me? All it served was as practice in having to put a man down into his proper sphere. I didn't want to bring the man so low but he pushed when good manners should have made him just accept my words as true and be done with the whole affair. I did not invite him or ever encourage such engagements of him especially."

"So feisty you get when men irritate you so. I am grateful that you didn't blurt out my name. Your mother would have my head if he dared to challenge me for your hand. I doubt I would even get the chance to put him in his place? No. She would have eliminated the obstacle, being me, if she knew why your were being so stubborn."

"Do you think I should have just come to father and beg him for my chance to be with you?"

"Not if you ever wanted to leave your room again. As I told you many times, he may have loved me like a son. It was never like a son-in-law however. I had to make Captain of the Guards first. Than, I would be as vital to his service as your brother was. Until than I knew I didn't have a chance at convincing your father I was worthy of his only daughter."

"Would than that he had four or twenty daughters than. I cannot see how precious I was to him, if I was only a pawn that he could use to gain more power and influence in the realm. I swear to you Rory, had they forced me into marriage, it would never survive the wedding night."

"He rather think that you would just murder the man and let Beowulf take care of the rest of him. At least that is how he would tell it to us if he dared to act in such a way. That was why, I still had so much hope that he would see that you belonged with me."

"We both knew that was true. I'll never understand that part of him. The part of him that couldn't see how happy we would be together? We would have given him many grandchildren to keep his rule strong. Fergus was such a disappointment to my parents in that way. How could I do such a thing with a man I did not even love? Impossible. Not when my love was right there. I could even touch him and feel how strong his love for me grew. That Summer night I sighed thinking, finally, when I laid in bed at night, now I knew why couples wanted to share a bed together. That even though you didn't push me to sleep with you, you did have those feelings for me deep down hidden inside for me somewhere. It comforted me some knowing this. After everything my parents were putting me through at the time. I needed you to keep my dreams of happiness alive."

"Funny because it made me completely miserable. Any doubts I made up to keep me from plotting away, too many times … I'm not sure it is right to admit this? How I was so sure that I could get away with sneaking into your room and making all of yours and definitely my dreams, come true. The whole plot was determined to drive me completely mad."

"Somehow you still survived it all. I couldn't help myself back than. I really was concerned that maybe your love was not strong enough or your desire was not as passionate as my own was. I didn't like how others made me feel as if it was wrong for me to feel for a man the way that I did? As if it was so wrong for a woman to ever want to be in the company of her lover. We needed to please our husbands but did they ever want to please us too? Why did I even have these desires in the first place? It was such a pleasure to be so close to you. Even a comfort of sorts? Oh, to be so much in love with a man and to feel his desire for you too? I know, I know, it was terribly wicked of me but now? We love each other even more freely than we ever have before."

"Aye and we have quite a belly here to prove it true!"

"Touché! Point well taken. I made all of that up to you. At my parents funeral and the memorial we held for the others at our first visit back to our home in Highever. You can hardly complain that despite how painful that was for the two of us to have to come back to, we still didn't find our first night there quite memorable. After I snuck you into my room later that night."

"No, I cannot. I was very grateful that your brother was happy enough moving into your parents old bedroom."

"He actually offered it at first to me but I declined it. That would have haunted me too much. Especially since I had so much mischief on my mind."

"I would have brought it up. That would have haunted me too much as well. It would have made me uncomfortable at least. Might not have minded the extra space?"

"No, not you! I liked the fact that you couldn't move too far away from me after you fell asleep."

"It didn't matter did it really? I never move too much away from you. Sometimes I get too restless and I don't want to wake you up. Even than I always find the need to gather you back up close to me eventually once I can cool off some. I sleep better when I have you in my arms because than I know you are safe and warm enough at night."

"Me too. I just like feeling that connection between us. It doesn't make any real sense but still it comforts me and helps me to sleep better. But back than I was just so confused and still trying to figure all of these emotions out in my poor mind. Too much was not talked about or quieted when really we should be talking more about it not less."

"Since so much effort is put into teaching us how to think for ourselves, is it any wonder that you had so many questions about growing up? It was very sad though that you really didn't have another woman around you to reassure you about becoming a woman and how wonderful that can be. That is if you are lucky enough to find a good and loving husband of your own."

"I had women all around me but no one I could trust with our secret. I had already found that man though? Now the challenge was what did it take for me to become his wife and share with him all of the love that I had for him in my heart."

"You really are so special to me. So lovely. So sweet, in how good you are to me. How could I not want to return such passion and love back to you? I think that experience took us to a new level in our relationship, don't you?"

"Oh yes, we were unlocking Pandora's Box, bit by tiny bit. It wasn't really so bad doing it that way. We had so much to discover about each other and I was so eager to learn. As I am about almost all things in this life."

"I was definitely a fly in your spider's web. Willing to let you spin your web around me gladly. Anticipating every day, what new thing I was going to learn about you. It was a wonderful experience while it lasted."

"Blame it all on the balmy weather. Our young hearts still learning how to love each other. It really isn't any wonder than that finally you found the courage to love me more. We became with child so early. When I remember moments like that I guess I'm not too surprised."

"Still I should have shown more caution. I'd be dishonest though if I said it would have been with some meager amount of disappointment. Since most good couples do not come together in such a way without a contract of marriage. They do not have to bother with such concerns or a need to take any precautions themselves."

"No, I would suppose not. So we can blame Alistair for our total lack of self-control and abandonment of what little propriety would have lessened our desire for each other."

"Oh, I thought about it at times. How much could I really trust what Alistair told you? It could have very well have been the story of a jealous man or one who was trying his best to seduce you for himself? We really had no one to rely on other then his word. I just felt he might be biased that is all."

"Men. It isn't his nature to be so deceptive."

"Oh, no? Not telling you he was in line for the throne, that wasn't deceptive at all?"

"So am I for that matter. Even though we know it will never be. He was honest about all of the other things he had told me? I had to worm it out of him, of course, usually."

"He was just flirting with you, you know. The more outrageous the story the more you had to ask him sensible questions to find out the real answers. He was just trying to take up more of your time."

"Says the master to his mistress."

"I answer your questions easily enough. Even the really hard ones that I know you won't like the answers to."

"Sometimes, I almost wish you would lie to me or play innocent. In time I recover I suppose."

"I am grateful than that you do. Sometimes we do have to make hard choices in our lives. I am not perfect. You are closer to it than maybe I am but we must build our relationship on trust. Had I not been honest, it would have hurt you more to find it out from someone else. Especially someone who didn't know or understand the motives for my actions."

"I know, you must be right. I have no other choice but to trust you, Rory. Just understand that I trust you with my heart and I have been forced to grieve too many losses as it is. Now, you must be true to me, for I do not see how my heart can withstand any more pain without it overwhelming me for good."

"My love. . . such a love as this; I understand your words and you must believe me when I say, I do not make oath's lightly. I will be there for you and for our child. I cannot guarantee there will never be anymore sorrow in our lives. I can say, I will not be the author of it, as long as am still breathing, until my dying breathe. I know and I have told you many times, my heart is still beating because of the love I bear for you and now our child. I know, we cannot know if we will have the chance to become parents ever again like this in the future. I am overjoyed though knowing we will have at least one, hopefully, that is truly our own. As much as I love you, it just seems right by the Maker. Considering our great sacrifices to end the Blight that this be our well deserved reward. I could ask for nothing greater in life. Other than your safe delivery and our opportunity to live out our lives as a family that is."

"Oh, Rory, you do say the sweetest things." She leaned back against his chest once more. Tilting her head to the side so that she could kiss him for his reward.

"It is too easy for me to steal kisses from you." He told her as he embraced her tighter while they kissed.

"Probably because I long for them as much as you do. But I must get some sleep tonight. They will fuss with my hair for hours. This and that will be changed and rearranged before I am deemed fit for my day of days."

"More like our trial by fire you mean? Already I dread what my friend will say at our reception. I have threatened the man with violence so severe, he will be begging me for release. This I promised to him if he was too flippant with his words. I will show him no mercy."

"I'm sure that has tempered, Capt. Wilton to behave himself. He is as bad as you are when it comes to idle threats."

"We will see. He knows how much I crave a good fight now and than."

"Yes, but we won't fight tomorrow, right? If you must kill the man, please, save it for a weekday, I beg of you."

"Humph, you ask quite a lot of me lately. We have ended our nights sweetly after a good fight as I seem to recall?"

"But those fights were ones we fought regularly and our very existence hung on the outcome of those battles."

"Granted, my life is not in danger by any means. Only he should be trembling in his boots if he dares to defy my stern request for some decency."

"I can only imagine how he must have replied to all of that?"

"Maybe you could. He is just jealous because I have a beautiful woman sleeping in my bed. Not to mention a potential heir not too far off from now."

''Milo has his own family to content himself with."

"I suppose. He's an old man. His wife must be bored with him by now? All I care about is where I am suppose to be laying down my head tonight. You must change your mind about this. I will not conceded this one to you."

"Despite all of your very good, if biased, arguments, I must say thee nay. Not out of cruelty. I have to give you some incentive to meet me at the Chantry on time."

"I am not a child. I want this as much if not more than you do. Fine, fine, I will give in. Only because this babe of ours keeps getting bigger and I can only imagine how much of a burden this is on you. I know sleep has to be important for the well being of you both. Nor must you worry about how much I will drink tomorrow. It would be a poor showing for a new husband to pass out on his wedding night. Though many, I am told, have done just that. Now, if I cannot sleep in our bed you must tuck me in tonight."

"Considering how many marriages are arranged, that could be a blessing for the bride."

"Oh, perish the thought! Only Alistair would be so naïve. Of course Oghren is rarely ever sober. If he wasn't drunk, I doubt anyone could tolerate him at all?"

"I quite agree. So, before I do pass out onto the floor, let us take you to bed so I can go to sleep this night. I thought you just told me, you are not a child?."

"I did. Maybe it would be better if I tucked you in, instead? I am pretty confident I can carry you up a flight of stairs still but just in case I might fumble, why don't we try that instead?"

"You promise to go to your room afterwards? She looked up at him with doubt painted all over her face.

"I will obey. So come along than. Let's be on our way." Rory pushed her forward and then suddenly, … surprised her by lifting her up into his arms.

"Ooohh!" She let out in surprise.

"I know, I am getting a little ahead of myself here but it never hurts to practice now, does it?" He quickly kissed her lips to quiet her protests while she wrapped her arms around him to stay warm as they headed up the staircase.

"I have heard of a rehearsal dinner, Rory, but this isn't usually something couples rehearse before their wedding night."

"I'm not so sure about that. There is what we tell others and than there is what we really are doing up during those late hours of the night. Even though we were separated and I know, I was trying to forget you, you know, it never worked. How I dreaded those lonely hours when the memory of your warmth, your love, was the only thing that ever brought me real comfort at night. It seemed like such a wicked curse at the time."

"Maybe I am an evil witch, after all. And here it was Morrigan you spoke so ominously about at camp." Now, she was twirling around a misplaced strand of his hair as she spoke lying down comfortably in his arms.

"I have no doubt at all that you must have tainted me with some notorious toxin to make me fall madly in love with you. I have been stricken ever since the day I first laid eyes on you."

"I had never been so smitten with a boy before either. It really was such a magical time in our lives."

"Perhaps, I have shrugged off some of the usual traditions our parents would have appreciated our practicing but I make no apologies for my actions."

"No, not you. By the time though, that we both ran into each other again, too many years kept us apart when we should have been together in marital bliss. Maybe by now we would have had a couple of children of our own."

"That would be a realistic assumption. I'm sure I could have at least outdone your brother, Fergus, in that arena."

"Oh, you! Maybe the challenge would have done him good? Though he would be dragging you along with him, where ever he deemed it necessary to be at the time."

"All the more sweeter than to be by your side when we returned. I would promise you to be the first soldier back through our gates, every time." He grinned suggestively.

"And I would be there standing ready to have you back in my arms once again."

"It would have been, wonderful, my love. Finally, I will be able to make you my wife. These last couple of months were what dreams are made of. I have enjoyed our freedom to be together. To take you through my old haunts, share with you the memories I hold dear from my early childhood. The games we play now though are much different. But still just as much fun. At least it is for me."

"I am so happy you enjoy having fun as much as I do. We are such a good match, Rory. I feel like we have been honeymooning all along since we got here."

"I'm happy to hear you say that. I have had to do a lot around here but knowing I had you there to look after me, it made my incentive even stronger to make this land thrive. For our own family now."

"A family of our own. We have so much of everything I long for. I just can't seem to get use to all of this freedom, Rory. All of my life was always so scheduled for me. I was starting to feel trapped behind those sturdy castle walls. Even though I did often walk the halls in wonder, imagining what sort of life my ancestors must have led in days gone by?"

"I doubt their lives were half as exciting as our own."

"You may be right. That all depends, right? My father was a young, robust man when he fought to free our Country from the Orlesians. As dashing and daring as you are yourself. Though my attraction to you, young man, is so much more physical. Intellectual. Now I fear that fire that burns within me burns even brighter. Ignited by such a lusty man. Just as I am sure you think you deserve all of the credit for that." She stuck out her tongue in rebellion.

"And why not? You saucy girl. If you weren't so adorable, I hardly think you would have gotten away so lightly with the mischief you loved to cause."

"It was fortunate, to be my father's only daughter, I must admit."

"Even if he had a dozen, I know you would have still been his favorite."

"That is very kind of you to say. All of my charm though was not enough to sway father to see what really was right for my future."

"Your mother had big plans for you."

"You mean, she was hoping I stay, "this" big for some time to come!"

"Well yes, I do believe she felt you should at least create a few grandchildren for her amusement."

"She should have had more children of her own than. If that was her most fervent wish. The least she could do is match me with a man whose company I found it a pleasure to be with."

"So, you find my company suitable enough for the task, is that what you are implying?"

"You are good enough. At least you are fertile. What the future will bring us is anyone's guess."

"Good enough, you say? Such a compliment considering how many hours I devote to showering so much of my affection on you."

"I didn't mean it to sound so trite. I'm teasing you. Considering how I am still plotting out ways to get you alone during a busy work day? There must be more than just boredom at work here in my head."

"How I look forward too, to those many distraction throughout my days. It is even better now, since I don't have to be afraid of touching you when I want to."

"That seems to be such an overwhelming desire I was quick to find out."

"Why waste a perfect moment, when it can be made so enticing, so fulfilling, when we act upon them? Especially now that I know from experience how much it pleases you for me to do so."

"Why hesitate indeed? It has taken me a little bit of time to adjust to your forwardness but the rewards have always been so ..so.."

"Ah, lots of unspoken words come to mind don't they? Love is so much more than even I could have imagined it to be like. So I hope you forgive me if sometimes, I challenge your sense of decency or right and wrong."

"I do enjoy a challenge. There isn't a moment I don't want to spend it all with you. You know though, once you have me in your arms, all of my protests will cease instantaneously."

"I have the complete advantage of knowing what you cannot resist."

"You, know, that it is you, your kisses, your caresses, well, I'd be a serious fool to fight off any of your affection. I assure you, I am not that fool."

"No, lucky for me. I think? Sometimes I fear I take too many risks? Than I remind myself cleverly that this is my land, my home, no one rules here except for me. And well my father is still here but he allows me to make most of the decisions when it comes to it's upkeep."

"I wonder if he knows what an irresistibly, devious son he raised you up to be?"

"Though it is rather hard to think much about it, I'm sure he was quite a man in his own youth. It was just a pity that he and my mother had such a short time together. I know he must have loved her very much. She was quite beautiful I remember."

"I am happy that at least you have some fond memories of her. She does look beautiful in her portrait."

"Thank you. Though it is very clear to see I take mostly after my father in appearances. I often wonder what our child will be like? I am so curious to get to know it and discover all of its' little secrets."

"Me too. I'm just so amazed at the whole process of being with child and feeling it grow inside of me. We are just so blest that things turned out so well in the end. I will never though be able to shed the feeling that all of this may not have ever come true if not for the Blight and my parents outcome in all of this. To have so much joy come from so much loss…life doesn't always make too much sense to me at times."

"No, I suppose it doesn't. I like to think now though, that had Duncan lived and our home not been so devastated, we both would have been lead to become Grey Wardens. Don't you believe, that had we made it to that point, that we would have finally been together for good? At least that is how I like to resolve things when I think about the past."

"I hadn't really thought of it that way but yes, even if I had to sneak around to see you, how could I resist? After some time however. I can't imagine I could immediately forgive you for giving up hope some in our overcoming the obstacles my parents put before us. Especially when you know, I would have done anything to make you happy and to keep us together."

"I was short sighted. I realize that now. I hope what matters the most, is that I didn't settle down with anyone else. I was never ready to give up the comfort and love I found with you. Your memories haunted me almost every night. I am here now and this is where I will always stay. Or wherever our adventures lead us. I am prepared to prove my love and commitment to our future together very soon now. I hope too that when I hold you in my arms, you can feel how strong my love for you truly is."

"I do feel something magical almost whenever I am with you. It's so wonderful and you know, I only look forward to spending this time alone with you. I hope this big stomach of mine proves once and for all, our commitment to each other."

"Ha, ha, I suppose it does, doesn't it? I'm afraid I have failed miserably when it comes to feeling ashamed of my own actions. An elderly couple would just look at me with reproach but I cannot honestly feel its' prick? Am I so vain or immune to any of their wraith because I feel so safe in our love for each other?"

"I hope so! Though I do know what you mean. It is a little bit easier for you to step aside from their arrows than I. At first it was rather embarrassing. I have no way of hiding the fact that I indulge your every wish. It would be unfair to place all the blame on you still. At least I am mostly a stranger to most of the people who live here. The Blight has affected so many families. It seems for the most part, people are just relieved that some of us have been able to move on with our lives."

"You are probably right. I am glad to hear though that most of the people have been kind to you. It is a difficult burden I have asked you to bear for our sake. We both know though, what a miracle this child is to us. So, I have vowed to myself that I will make every day that we can spend together from now on as important as the last."

"You sound like you are afraid, Rory?"

"A part of me is. I know fate can take one or both of you away from me. I don't know… it is quite possible,…. that I would have been more patient. Blame my father for sharing how my own mother passed away in childbirth or my own insane imagination I can't help that."

"It makes me feel kind of sad though. We have come together under the harshest of circumstances this time. Even with the Blight now past us, you cannot let go of your fears much can you?"

"That I might lose you once again? Yes, it weighs on me constantly."

"I indulge you quite liberally too, mostly because of this fear, I hope you know this."

"I suspected it. Of course, I hope you love me and want to share in my love for both of you. I do worry that something can go wrong with you or me? It matters not. Just know that no matter what our situation might be, my desire for you, is purely motivated by the love I always want to share with you. Not just some fear that you will be taken away from me somehow."

"That is good to hear. Of course, remember, we have so many memories from our childhood together. We have faced our fears so many times and defied them. It is your bravery, my love, that has been so richly rewarded by me. Had you not been the man you grew up to be, we would never have all of this, to lie back and marvel over, ever so much."

"Hum..? Only my bravery? Surely I have more gifts to tempt you with? No matter though. Coming from a true princess who lived her childhood growing up in a castle? This? ..is hardly what you hoped and dreamed for I would suspect."

"I'm sorry, shame on me for not going further in pointing out, again, what a tantalizing man you are to me. You know it's true. Oh, and well, no, you are right about that. As far as where we would live out our lives. Really it depends on which dream you are referring me to? I believe you are bringing up the one where we get married and live happily ever after? I guess I always imagined that we would live in Highever Castle. Only because you never spoke of your real home. You cannot fault me for that, am I right?"

"No, you are right. There is so much to do around here but I promise you that it won't take me too long to make this place a paradise for us both. I mean, well ,..our family."

"Not to worry my love. Considering in one of my dream lives, we traveled all over Fereldon, sleeping in borrowed beds or in a magnificent tent, like the ones they would describe of those exotic people to the East would travel with."

"Ah, yes, does that include a harem too? Or are you thinking of something else?"

"No, of course not. Why would I imagine such a thing? Now you are just trying to spoil my fun. I was only mentioning that our tents would be brightly colored, with scarves' embossed in gold and silver, all sorts of exotic weaves to dazzle the eyes. Maybe to distract us from our cruel surroundings. Though I always imagined there would be an oasis close by to frolic in."

"Oh, you mean a circus tent, right? Silly me! Of course, you would have to have an oasis. You and water! Not that I mind any of that. I'm afraid our reality never quite met up to your opulent imagination unfortunately."

"Alas, it did not. That's true. I did discover that none of that was very important. Having you back in my life filled my thoughts with dreams of what the future might bring to us. What a relief it was to finally have you ..well … here where you belong in my life. Before this, I never could feel planted or settled to move forward with my life. Too many unknowns. I never liked that at all. I didn't even notice, Rory, how I forgot how to dream at all."

"Neither did I. You are right. How we barely even notice it but it is there. I didn't realize how much I had filled up my thoughts or memories with the times we spent together. I was more than ready, though it sounds funny now saying it so openly but it's true, to build my world around you. It's what I wanted more than anything. It was the only thing I could say that I really wanted. Than again, I wanted to be an honorable knight as well."

"We are working hard to achieve our goals. What more is to be expected of us?"

"A wedding so it would seem."

"It is the respectable thing for us to do.'

"I would never imagine having you under any other circumstances."

"Oh, no? I find that very hard to believe."

"Fair enough. It was my wish all right? Circumstances led us down a different path for awhile. But see! In our real world, I wanted to do everything right. In the world we made up for ourselves, it was driving me mad to have to put off how strong our feelings had grown. Love was always suppose to be something refined and gentle. Yet when I had you in my arms and you kept kissing me, it felt like something different than that, didn't it? It had to have more passion. Even lust didn't seem so wrong under these conditions? I remember feeling very confused by it all when I was still a lad."

"Do you mean the desire to break all of the "rules" set before us."

"Exactly. Those lines were getting awfully fuzzy as we grew older. I always wanted to be a good gentleman. I always knew you deserved that from me as well. I hope you understand why things changed so much. Holding ourselves back when our futures were so unpredictable? That seemed more wrong than breaking some of the rules. I knew, if we survived, I would make things right between us. If you would have me as your husband still. I confess though, in the moment, I was willing to settle for having you, in whatever capacity was available to me, for however long I could keep you once more. Even if that meant having to give you up at some point. Just knowing you were mine, even if it was not meant to last. It was more than I could hope for at the time."

"Better that than not at all. I feared too, that maybe your feelings for me had changed over the years. Or worse, your feelings about our having a lasting relationship altogether. It had just been too long since I was truly happy. I was so happy whenever we could be together when we were young. I resigned myself into thinking that even if I was to lose you, no matter how or when or under whatever circumstances, it was worth taking that risk. Even though I was sure, to lose you once more might thoroughly do me in this time for sure. It mattered not. Never was I so happy, so loved, than when we two could be together. So, it was worth the risk. Even if it led to heartbreak once more. By Andraste, I was sure at that point, I was beyond the point that losing anything more would do me more harm. I was so afraid for Fergus. Especially once he heard the news of the fate of his own family. How it must have grieved him so? Yet, would I or even he have given up on life or wished it had never been, just so that we never had to feel such gut wrenching heartache? I believe not. So, too, I had to risk the chance at once more our finding the happiness we once shared. Even if it was only a temporary arrangement. I know, how silly that all must sound right now doesn't it?"

"Only considering my real feelings for you, perhaps? It hurts some that you didn't trust my own feelings or that I know my own heart."

"I'm sorry, if I judged you too harshly. I had to be careful, you understand don't you? When we met again, I had lost so much in so short a period of time. Moreso, you had every reason not to want to trust me. I was the one who was so weighed down by my "obligations" to my family; my people. I hoped that you would marry me when you could. Our love was so strong, Rory, for each other. I…didn't want to be the one to hurt you. You know I rather die than to bring you any pain or suffering on my account at least."

"It was not you though, who made the situation that caused us to be parted. You shouldn't have taken on such guilt. I can understand, though I don't like it. Fergus' fate was still unknown. So you started to think too much like your parents wanted you to, rather than what was really the best for your life."

"Ah, meaning you, right?"

"You know I will always love and care for you. For our family."

"After your rather astonishing confession in Denerim? Hummm …it was understandable. Don't judge me too harshly. Things change and so do what people feel they want or what is best for them. I was not sure if you had already decided it was better that we be apart. Or that maybe, finding yourself weighed down with the duties of a teryn's daughter more confining than you could bear. Was it fair of me to just decide that I was what was best for you? For your future?'

"Yes, circumstances do change a man, so it would seem. But that was only because I really did believe there was no hope for a future with you as my wife. It was painful enough to have to go through the first time. It was something I did have to consider in the beginning this time as well. I too wondered that with Fergus' fate still unknown, you might just bow down to what you were told was your responsibility to the Crown. It was made even worse once I could see, Alistair had some affection for you. Once we knew he would be our next king, would that affect your choice in marriage? Highever demanded much of you and I know you didn't frown completely from your duty to it. That sort of selfishness didn't seem to be in you however. So, if you felt, to ensure the people of Highever a future, you must marry the king, I would not be the one to stand in your way. It would break my heart once more but already, it was in a million shattered pieces. At least knowing you survived Ostagar, the Joining, I had to rejoice in what little in life there was left to be had, didn't I? Neither was I going to stand in your way, no matter what my true feelings were, of what you felt was the author of your own happiness. If that did not include me, I knew I had to let go. Graciously, if need be, for the good of the Cousland family that gave me so many good opportunities in my life up to that point."

"Yes, well, that didn't always bring you what you deserved did it now? Besides my parents, even my own brother later, first turning away your proposal of marriage to me, than you were held back from your promotion to being the Captain of the Guards. Later than you were tortured and nearly lost your life defending my families honor. I believe your debt to us has been paid, seven fold, my love. Oh, how complicated our lives have become haven't they? Luckily, my brother survived through this all, thankfully. Even if he didn't though, I would rather struggle to rebuild my families fortune for the good of my people. I would, as long as I could do that and have you as my husband. It wouldn't be fair to Alistair either, to marry only for the security the Crown would bring to me. I do care for him but as a friend. My feelings however for you, are quite different, If we did not act on the strong drives that our love created, we never would have known the joy it is bringing to us now. You know that once we finally laid together I was entranced by your many talents. I eagerly came back to you for more and more of you to love. Rest easy now, my love. I want to comfort you. Love you, with all of my heart. You are and always will be such a treasure to me. Please do not forget that. Ever." She stroked his head calmly as she rested it on her bosom. Bending down now some to kiss the top of his head. So much like a mother would to a child she held so dear to her

"Ah, see? This really is where I belong."

"Rory you promised."

"I did and when I know you are asleep then I will sneak downstairs to hide away in my other room. Whoa be it to any man who dares to wake me though before I am ready to rise."

"Perhaps you should leave a note on the door? I assure you that I am not rising before the sun at least. We have all morning to get ready. I do not want to have to mull around the Chantry waiting for everyone to arrive. All dressed up I will be uncomfortable enough as it is."

"You? My clothes are no better. Though I am happy enough with the tailoring. Some will say I cannot not see you before the ceremony and that will just make me mad, so better, as you say, we leave not too early. Least we spoil the whole affair."

"Very good. Are you going to change now or were you planning on sleeping in your clothes tonight?" Rising, Tara left to make ready to finally go to sleep.

"I suppose a nightshirt is still in order. You really don't need much at all either." He grinned over as he watched her change into a nightgown reluctantly. Her lavender silk gown must be new he thought but still looked so lovely on her.

She than moved over to her vanity to unpin her hair carefully and than twist her hair to braid up her long dark, wavy tresses.

"That's enough now. The women will surely insist on fussing with your hair in the morning. I'd like to spend at least some time with you before you pass out on me."

"I am very tired. The baby is sapping all of my energy these days. Here, I am coming. I just wanted to do this before I fell asleep."

"Come here. We have only four months left of blissful slumber before we are blessed with a crying, demanding, child who will do its' best to steal all of your time away from me. Not that I don't plan on putting up a good fight. I'll only share you, not give you over, no matter how adorable our child turns out to be."

"I look forward to the many lessons you plan on teaching our child. Though I wish I knew what it would be?" She pondered as she slipped into his waiting arms to snuggle up to him."

"So, is it moving a lot more? Let's see if I can get it to kick my hand." Moving his hand slowly across her stomach he rested it now firmly in one place hoping to get its' attention.

"Well, it is kicking me much more regularly. I can't quite make out if it is a hand or foot? It's so active now which I am grateful for. I just can't help but stop what I am doing to see if I can get it to respond to my touch too."

"Is it kicking you now?"

"When I rest, it gets more active. I suppose my movement settles it some while my lack of movement prompts it to get my attention to move?"

"Then we must teach it to learn to sleep when you need to sleep. Ah, how about here? Is this a good spot?"

"A little bit lower perhaps. Now, press you hand tighter against me. I don't think he likes that too much. Either that or he just likes to play games with me."

"You think he or she can figure out what we are doing out here? I rather doubt it but I can understand, if we make it uncomfortable it might strike back. A child of ours is sure to come out fighting. But my dear, (he spoke now to her stomach),you need to sheath your sword until you are battle ready. Be kind to your mother or you will have your father to answer too!"

"Ha, ha, you must put that to music. It sounds so much like a song a father would sing and play a tune to." Laughing she put her hand over his and pressed harder to tempt the babe to respond to them."

"There! Did you feel that? Or did only I?"

"I felt something. It was so quick I barely felt it."

"He isn't very big yet. A few more months and he will be kicking you and that means me, when you lean up too much against me at night. So I am told."

"Well, let me inform him now, that I push back! He'll not be making the rules in my house. Best he knows his place from the start."

"Oh, you are so gruff now. You'll not always be so stern with him will you?"

"I will show some compassion. If it is a son. A daughter? Maker forbid! I haven't much of a clue how to raise her? I will be the one always trembling with fear over what she might dare to do next! How I will ever be able to separate the two of you, I just can't imagine it?"

"We will be in for quite a battle if it turns out to be more like one of us."

"Father would laugh and tell me it serves you right. For all the trouble you caused me growing up like you did."

"Ha, ha, so it might be."

"Let's just say I expect no sympathy from that old man. I pray he doesn't thwart my child to work against me. Too often."

"He is merely teasing you my dear. Rest easy."

"So you think it will be a boy? How is it that you are so sure?"

"I'm not really. It is just getting so big! I refuse to imagine what I might look like a few months from now."

"It will be interesting. I'm looking forward to it just because I want a healthy child."

"So do I and I love you. So here, kiss me now because I fear my lids are growing heavy and I would hate to fall asleep on you."

"It is something I must bear. It wouldn't be the first time. I was rather concerned I was not doing enough to keep your attention at first but then of course, fatigue is very hard to fight. I do understand and no, I won't take it personally. I actually learned to cherish your falling asleep in my arms. I was just so grateful every night that I still had to hold you close to me. Our fighting the darkspawn got worse and worse for us all."

"True and I felt the same about you. When I could get you to sleep. You are so stubborn about that."

"Just my training, that's all there is to that. As long as we are together I can rest up just fine. I am grateful I can be here to protect you. I cannot complain either about the benefits of having such a duty either. At least for me that is."

"Sounds wonderful." Tara answered back as he leaned over her to kiss her and she lifted up her arms to wrap them around his neck to kiss him back.

"Uhm…you do remember you have to sleep downstairs, right."

"So you keep reminding me but as I grow weary myself, your words grow duller still."

"You promised."

"That when those awful women come here to wake you up bright and early I will order them out of my room hence forth." Still kissing her, he told her rebelliously.

"Oh, that will be quite a site. I promise I will be hiding behind you when she reaches out to swat us like little children."

"Just one of the many incentives I really had in learning to take a beating, now and than. Oh, that was always an entertaining conversation when I was just a young, fresh, lad."

"What is that, my love?"

"Well, of course we must grow stronger if we don't want to get beaten up all of the time. There are however, more reasons for a young man to hone his skills."

"No doubt. Like push-ups!."

"A basic necessity of life for a man. Among other important moves to strengthen your thighs and torso, as well. It always brought embarrassing laughs when the Captain fancied a more provocative incentive to get us to take our training more seriously." He chuckled some remembering his friends faces back then.

"I'm surprised all of you learned anything at all. Except how to woo and conquer women."

"And to hold our liquor, my lady. A drunkard makes a lonely bedfellow we were told."

"I suppose those women where happy to take your money, under any condition. Poor souls."

"Aye, that much is true. I myself am happy enough to have the same woman waiting at home for me at night. No worries my love."

"I am truly blessed than. I hope I haven't disappointed you any."

"No my love. I am overjoyed however, that we did not wait any longer to share a bed. We waited too long as it was but ah, as you can see, if I but got out of line when we were younger? You would be spending all night long trying to get me out of it. While I would be doing everything in my power to stay put in it." He teased her as he hugged her tight.

"We would have had our household in such an uproar! I would imagine our being caught and my only reply was, "Please, let us sleep. Go away and leave us at rest." She mimicked and smiled gaily back at him.

"Now that would have caused a rumble but we both know, it would be true. Two young lovers hardly go to bed to sleep at night. So it is only polite that we be allowed some time to dream about our love and what we hoped for in our future."

"You would never say that to our children."

"You are probably right. Of course, I must take their age under consideration. This I tell only to you. I really do not want it to leave us here…"

"…at the mercy of those unforgiving women. "Serves you right girl for lifting your skirts before your wedding day. Now we get left with the chore of trying to make you look amazingly beautiful, in such a condition that you are found in now." Amelia will tell me to shame me out of my slumber. It's just some nights it is difficult to sleep. My stomach does not feel so at ease, making room for this child of ours. I believe I have finally mastered how to sit up and fall asleep, the two together."

"Very good. Here, I can rub your stomach some for you. It makes some sense that your muscles might be resistant to such a strain against them. Can't quite figure out how everything doesn't end up all cramped up inside of you, now that I put more thought into it. It has to be uncomfortable to have to bear. Sleeping and standing is something of an art for those guards who find themselves on watch after a night of debauchery."

"Yet another of my fathers, simple pleasures! Of course he knew who to harass since he himself was a part of it all. Mother was not going to let him sleep it off. Duty is duty and she had hers and he had his. But only Fergus and I were allowed to heckle father. All of you had to just be polite and take his badgering."

"And here we thought life at Highever was boring? Maybe for some, perhaps. We were always plotting our next adventure. I am happy that I am still plotting away with you."

"As am I." *yawn* umm ..it is nice though falling asleep with you."

"I can't resist the urge much either. How excited I was when you told me you wanted to sleep with me for good in camp. You were like a child who had just woke up from a bad dream. I was delighted and so relieved knowing I could protect you better. Which meant I slept better at night."

"When we did sleep you mean? We were wickedly cruel to the others."

"There were others out there? I can't imagine it."

"You mean you just imagined them all gone when we were together."

"That may be so. I wasn't about to care. Too much was at stake. Not one of them dared to challenge me with it. Well, Wynne started to bring up something but I would hear none of it. You were now mine and no one was going to tell me otherwise. I'm afraid I wasn't too kind but after what your parents put me through? I'll be the judge of my own life, thank you. At least they were smart enough to not bother me more on that subject at least."

"Indeed. Even the worst of them surely saw it as a hopeless cause. I have many memories of our times together to fill all of my dreams."

"I also think that you might be expecting more of these children in the near future. So it's best we stay in practice."

"It might happen? Considering who I am taking on as a husband? Maybe more possible than for most. You really do wish for other children don't you?"

"I wish only for our happiness. And whatever our love will bring to us. I am happy with the few orphans we have taken in so far. Giving them a good home, good food and a chance to improve their lives. We need the help around here. I have so much planned and I need to build up a staff who can manage things properly when we must be away. I want some elves too."

"Elves? Please, I understand that sometimes Zeveran enjoyed taunting you but really, are they not badgered enough, my love?"

"No, you misunderstand me. I was greatly effected by how those slavers took advantage of their poverty. I want to take a few in, to give them a better life. They are good with animals and the land so I know I too can benefit from their knowledge as well."

"That is much better. I'm sorry I thought otherwise."

"Zeveran was purposely annoying. Of course he was jealous and he wasn't the first man I ever had to deal with over you."

"It's so nice to feel so wanted."

"Obviously, none of them wanted you as much as I did."

"Obviously I didn't want any of them the same way that I wanted to be with you. Of course, you had talents they lacked. One man was quite enough for me. I must have enjoyed the challenge since it was not always so easy to convince you that I was all grown-up now."

"I never doubted that. All is made right now. I'm not so difficult to distract now and I hope you find that I am attentive enough, even to satisfy your constant need for attention."

"My? I'm sorry that I am so spoiled. How bored you must be now that you feel I am less of a challenge for your wits and maneuvering."

"I try my best to fill up my time now, plotting out fields, testing grain sources, breeding horses. My life is so much more fulfilling and useful now." He teased her laughing at himself foolishly.

"How wonderful. Than I won't feel so guilty falling asleep now. I'll just have to go back to dreaming about how our lives could have been so exciting to look forward to every night. Sometimes the afternoons, mornings, those long romantic weekends we use to spend together.."

"Here, I was just teasing you. No more teasing. I'm ready to get serious. I was really enjoying that conversation about that Summer night long ago. I hadn't really thought about that lately. I felt so guilty about the whole situation. Not that when it was fresh in my mind it wasn't all I could think about than."

"For me as well. It was probably why we finally got caught."

"Probably. Swindon, how could I forget? When I got back to the barracks, he shoved me as hard as he could back into the wall that night. He knew I had gone out to see you. He probably expected me to be back much sooner since it was pouring rain out and well, I was really soaked. It was apparent I was outside for some time. I was in too good of a mood for someone who normally wouldn't find being in such a state so overwhelmingly pleasant."

"Why was he so angry with you? I mean normally, he was pretty reserved I seem to recall?"

"Yes, but he assumed the worst of me that night."

"That is disappointing. He should have known you better than that."

"He's a man, just as I am. I shouldn't have kept you out in the rain. Only very few things could distract me from such an unpleasant situation. At least in his eyes. My shirt was pulled out, my coat had seen better days and you know how heated I get whenever we are together for too long. In spite of all of this, I must have been in too good of a mood and I couldn't stop thinking about you. Wishing I was going to your room instead of a bunker with a bunch of nosey young men."

"That must have been awkward. At least as a Sergeant of the Guards, you had a room to share."

"I shared a room with Ser Crawford. Not as much of a joy to speak of I assure you."

"I don't remember much about him?"

"Probably because there really wasn't much to talk about him? I swear the man was not right in the head! Truly missed his calling to be a Templar in our humble opinion. Not quite the best choice for a lusty, young, soldier like myself as it were for a roommate. He was one of the Elite Guards who often predicted because of my uhm …sinful ways, surely I was bound for an executioner's axe more so than a Captain's mantle."

"Oh, right. I never liked him much either. What a dreadful man. I just explained that I went out by the lake to enjoy the fresh air. It gets so stifling hot during the day here in the castle and Cece was away with her mother. I always loved to listen to the frogs croak and the crickets sing at night. Then I got caught up in the storm so I waited until it all died down some before making my way back home."

"It must be nice."

"It was since all I could think about was how much I was in love and that you loved me too." She kissed him spontaneously and he went back to seducing her.

"I myself was too distracted and actually I laughed when I realized what Swindon was so mad about."

"That probably didn't impress him much."

"No not at all. I told him I was hardly up for a fight that night but he didn't much care about my thoughts at all. Finally, I had to disappoint him, which took out whatever fun a good fight might have brought him as it were."

"He really should have asked first."

"He should have but I'm sure it was more fun for him to think the worst. Sometimes men just have to find something to get angry about it seems? Just in our nature? Honestly, I bet he was more disappointed that I didn't. I said he could try to beat me up for almost trying but he wouldn't get the same satisfaction from my actually acting like such a cad."

"No I suppose not. Had I done a better job… well, I'm sure I could have changed your mind. I just didn't know how much Swindon was looking for a fight? Pity I didn't realize either that finally conquering the girl of your dreams meant that you had to get beaten up over it later."

"Well, if said girl is only sixteen and not your wife, not to mention a girl you are sworn to protect…"

"It seems we were just lucky that my father didn't send out a brigade to find me."

"No doubt, we had little risk of still being interrupted."

"Really? You mean, we would have merely had an ..audience? Seriously, Rory, don't jest about such things."

"Never. I doubt I could take all of them on together in a real fight. There is a sense of camaraderie among men who sleep and fight together on a regular basis. Most of them knew what a temptress you really are and that I was your victim of choice. Many had bets that I would lose it all in the end. They were happy it was me and not them. Besides, I have to do something really dishonorable to merit such a thrashing. I'm sure we were quite entertaining to watch."

"Rory, now you are teasing me. Maybe you did deserve a good taking down by Swindon after all."

"I felt it might be true in the moment because fool that I was, I let you get me that far. Even though I showed a little restraint, I did take liberties that really no man was permitted to do. Especially with the teyrn's daughter."

"Such an honor it was too. At least you could see past all of that. And I was almost seventeen."

"You were old enough to marry and have children. As you were so intent on proving to me that Summer's evening. Once Swindon gave me a chance to explain, than he quickly apologized and someone came up with some liquor, in condolences. Of course, I had to confess that you were the honorable virgin and I was the disappointed swain in all of this tragic romance."

"So they really never knew the truth?"

"No, of course not. Was I going to tell them what a alluring seductress I had on my hands? Never! Not only to preserve your honor but more for my own benefit. Had I told anyone you really were in heat, we would never have anytime alone together. It was hard enough as it was."

"Such language but I suppose it was true. It finally felt good to be a woman and even better knowing you better as a man. You were grown up. I was afraid of losing you since I knew you were older."

"I also had every reason in the world to want to keep you as mine, always. As long as I could keep that dream alive, I was content with your kisses and caresses' imaging someday I could have you as my wife. Not that if you kept up with that behavior I was going to resist you forever."

"That's good to know. You were just too tempting. How could I not want to spend at least one night as your lover. Of course, I had already convinced myself that my charms would bring you back to me again."

"I know that is true. How guilty I must have appeared that night but you did help me get past some of my hesitation. I needed you as much as you needed me. It was a relief to know, to feel in my heart, that we both wanted the same thing for our future. Before that night, we were just children playing make believe."

"It was just a transition, my love. It took a lot of courage on both of our parts. And a Summer storm but things have a way of working themselves out don't they? I'm so happy that they did. Even if my euphoria probably set the whole household on alert. Fate is cruel sometimes."

"Sometimes but not tonight, I hope for me? It's not that I'm nervous. I just find myself in the mood to play your lover one last time. After this night, I'll just be your husband and we know how boring that must be."

"It does take all the challenge out of it doesn't it? The staff have to be nicer I suppose. I trust though they will find something else to complain about. I'll get those ladies back though when they have to wake up too, to our crying, demanding babe, you just watch."

"Very good. Our having trouble to conceive will only make my job as your husband, to the kingdom, that much more serious. I promised too, to be with you when you must travel away from here. Even if I am your glorified bodyguard."

"You mean, my husband and my lover, right? I must claim some privileges as the Heroine of Fereldon. I'll not be treated any less than a man would in the same position. My mother traveled with my father some and so too you and I. A woman traveling alone has enough to worry about. Especially one with an empty bed. I'll have none of that." Tara told him pulling herself up to kiss Rory to prove her point.

"It will be an interesting assignment. One of my more anticipated ones of course. What soldier didn't dream of having a beautiful woman to accompany him on his long journeys away from home? It will be a little difficult, enduring the snide remarks, the glazed, envious looks the young men can't seem to hide but I hope I can be an inspiration to them. I have had years of practice after all."

"This is why I just had to have a strong, handsome and very brave man as my mate. I think I made the right choice."

"I'm so happy to hear that milady. Since now that I am so captivated by your charms, I have no choice but to take down any man who dares question my right to have you."

"I feel safe and secure. Now I am convinced that if I don't help put you to sleep I'm never going to get any. I'll just pretend it's raining outside."

"Good because I already am. After that night Swindon would always remind me about it when it rained outside. "I wonder where Lady Tara is?" He'd say something like that. To which I would tell him, 'If she isn't

with me than I'm sure she is dreaming about me'." Than we would both laugh knowing what complete and utter fools we really are!"

"Father said I always kept him laughing. Fergus just stated I always gave him something to laugh about. Nice to see I do the same for you."

"You have brought so much joy into my life. I can't bear the thought of living any of it without you. Your father adored you and I believe never wanted to ever part with you. Your brother was just jealous of how much you got away with. Why, you even seduced his second, which really got his goat sometimes. I rest and uhm…enjoy your favors more believing that they both really wanted me to be your husband. They had too many opportunities to get rid of me if they didn't feel I would be the only man they could trust with such an important person in their lives."

"But than why does Fergus act as he does?"

"You know why…it's your mother. I never felt she ever disliked me but she was too convinced that either it was too high of a risk to keep you both together at Highever, if ever it fell under a serious attack, or if the seat of authority had to be passed on to you it wouldn't prove to be a strong enough union. That is if ever Fergus was slain. Not to mention what a catch you were. All of these generous offers for your hand in marriage."

"Maybe the trouble with old age? Most of them were opportunist. There were no men available in Fereldon who out ranked me."

"That may have been so after King Maric passed on and King Cailan foolishly rushed into marriage with his daughter Anora."

"Surely, a missed opportunity for me."

"I was nervous. Many rumors abound in that regard."

"And it is often said that Teryn Loghain took your reputation for rejecting suitors as an opportunity to push the new King into marriage to his own daughter."

"My mother was so angry with me. Blamed me for his actions. There was no peace in Highever for some time because of that rash move of King Cailan's."

"But you wouldn't have married him, would you have?"

"Maker no! At least not of my own doing. My mother's? Whose to say? Obviously it was a match she would pursue ardently. My father could not argue the fact that my marrying the future king would help to stabilize Fereldon but I was only sixteen. I had only met him twice and he wasn't interested in courting back then. My fondest memory of him was his laughing at me once I proved in a knife tossing competition that I was the better of all of his friends."

"That must have made a good impression on him you would think?"

"Oh, yes, watch out for that little girl! She's sure to relieve you of you manhood before she let you come close to her bed!" We all laughed and I agreed with them all that it was very true. I had no intension of marrying any man!" I announced with so much confidence in my voice. One of the women in the group laughed out loud and claimed that, "it must be for love of another woman than!"

"That must have caused such a riot in that wicked crowd on nobles."

"We did laugh a lot more after we got all of that out of the way. I denied it of course. So than another cried out that how can such a princess love anyone more than she loves herself? To that we all were bending over laughing till our bellies ached. For if I couldn't love myself how could I bear life at all? I might as well drown myself in the rushing waters to put myself out of my miseries. Not that I haven't almost done that very thing trying to teach myself how to swim? But as with all things, eventually I will conquer such challenges.

So one of Cailan's friends cried out that the wiser ruler would enlist this woman as his personal bodyguard rather than try to make her a bride!"

"That still would have taken you far away from Highever's grounds. And too far from me as well."

"Cailan did defend my honor, if rather ungentlemanly, that a king who held such a woman so close to him in his service would hardly spend very much time standing outside of his door. A queen would never tolerate such a beauty so close to his side. Even he could only endure such a temptation."

"He said such a thing of you, in front of you and his friends?"

"You know full well how boorish men and women can be. Especially in the company of young lady who is outnumbered by so many of his peers. I scoffed at his remarks of course. What good is any man who did not know his place or the position of his own wife? A Royal Guard would not compromise themselves in such a way to dishonor the crown under which they serve dutifully."

"The words, serve and dutifully are the most dangerous in the company of royalty my dear."

"For some as it were but I made my position as such known to all of them. Even if or when Cailan ever became our king. I am a Teryn's daughter and would not stoop so low to play anyone's mistress. And if I was so honored to be placed among the King's Royal Guard? I would have used all of my charms to convince the King that he must demand that you as well serve him because he could find no other more loyal knight, other than myself, to call into his service."

"But he never called you, did he?"

"No, of course not! Neither my mother nor my father would stand for such a station. If I were a man? Possibly?"

"That really was just a tease, Tara. "

"At least it kept their minds off of marriage. No proposal came for me or requests for my presence at the Royal Castle. Mother was very disappointed but father was more relieved. He knew, in such a position I would be in great danger. He would not have stood in the way, had Cailan made such a request but thankfully, it never came my way."

"No, because Anora pushed her way into his life and she was eager to sit in the seat of authority. Cailan was so insecure when it came to ruling over Fereldon. I believe at the time though, even Arl Eamon was simply eager to see the man settled and an heir ready to set the kingdom in it's rightful order."

"Not to mention, after Eamon's unpopular marriage to a woman of Orlais, Loghain was not about to stand for Cailan marrying a foreigner."

"That is true. Though Fergus' marriage was not a poor one? He just struggled with settling down and well, it is the way of we Couslands. Father sat me down, well actually, he held me down, telling me we are all born with such restless hearts. We may call Highever our home and it always will be but in our hearts, we must patrol the Wilds, the trade routes and keep the order here in Fereldon. Let Loghain wave his huge banners, linger as men bow down before him all that it pleases him to do. We Couslands much rather raise a mug of ale and sing a happier tune with our neighbors and our allies. It profits not any man to gather around him too many enemies he warned us. Better to negotiate a bound of trust and with a good amount of space between us, we can learn how to get along well enough to keep the peace. At least for a little while he hoped."

"He was a wise man your father. He also though kept us working hard because he assured us, peace only is assured when your competitors know to fear your strength. Some can build the illusion of power but with nothing to back you up when the challenge arises? Soon even your friends will become your enemies. Mostly out of boredom or just pure greed. Both are a fools way and both venues have claimed too many lives already of the people of Fereldon."

"That is true. And why, even though my father would tease me so about my desire to become a real knight, both of my parents allowed me many liberties as it were to train in the ways of a rogue."

"They were quite resistant of you actually training to be a real warrior."

"Obviously, they were both short sighted on that account. Believing I would turn into some kind of brute that no noble would find attractive enough to want to marry. My father knew, I would have no man who I could best with a sword with one minor swipe. He would have none of that and my own mother was trained well enough in her own right. I might as well have become a Mage!"

"Oh that would never happen in Highever."

"I know but shooting arrows, climbing trees, I mean what good is any of my rogue training when I have an enormous Orc swinging a large mace in front of my face? Or a Shriek for that matter! Oh, how could they not have foreseen these dangers in our future?"

"You are a princess, Tara. Men and some women train hard so that high nobles like you can keep order and bare children. You are our future my love. Even I accepted that as being true."

"Poppycock! What future would Fereldon have if I had died or Alistair for that matter? Eamon is old. Teagan? He frowns on large crowds and the pettiness of mere peasants. Even my own brother, as brave and skilled as he is can be so foolish at times. One would have to literally put him into chains if it was their desire to keep him in Denerim for any length of time."

"He does have a fondness for women. But one can hardly discuss affairs of Kingdoms in a brothel can they?"

"Roland, be serious. Even I might need shackles to keep me in Denerim. We can see they are not working well for our King Alistair so far."

"No but there is much to be rebuilt in Fereldon. Especially the cooperation between the nobles presently. They all have their own issues at stake and he must determine how those needs are going to be met."

"That is true. He needs a wife is what he needs. That is the only thing I can see to keep or bring a man back to his castle."

"And for you? Is that how it is here in the Bannorn?"

"Not so much because my bride has more wings than she does legs."

"What is wrong with my legs? I may have to travel to Amaranthine and than there are my families concerns in Highever as well? Would that I did have wings or a Griffin at my disposal, so my travels were not held so firmly on the ground or mounted firmly into my horses saddle."

"How was it that our ancestors sacrificed such a treasure?"

"It was a disease that took the last of them. Many were sacrificed in battle as you well know."

"Yes, I read the stories. I wasn't implying that anything at all was wrong with your legs either. Why must you twist words around like that? I don't mind riding out with you. You know this? I just feel the grip, the needs of my people here in the Bannorn more acutely now."

"It was the price you had to pay to become the Bann. It wasn't necessary to do that just to marry with me."

"You say this but you know the better of it. I had to take on the title or your brother would never allow you to marry me at all. I wasn't convinced that even our old friendship was worth enough to save me from his own sword, had he wished it otherwise for your future."

"I might have murdered him myself if he dared to commit such a crime against me? I killed the archdemon. I would have raised such an army against him if he turned so against my wishes."

"Apparently that feat was enough to convince him that if I took on the title of Bann, he would allow the marriage to take place."

"We would have eloped if need be? Run off to Weisshaupt. Live out the rest of our lives in banishment if need be. For the sake of our child together I would do what had to be done."

"And even Eamon relented so the tale goes. For it was also his desire that you marry Alistair as well. When he confronted your brother with his expectations, your brother finally broke down under the pressure. I was told that he demanded to know how did Eamon think he could keep hold of Amaranthine without his sister's rule? It was too unstable. It was the place that his greatest enemy did weaken, giving way to the Orlesians for promises of gold and many riches. They promised him a fife worthy of a King. Secretly, Rendon Howe, coveted my own father's land and believed he was wronged when my father's heritage, his courage and accomplishments brought him the greater reward. My father earned his right to be the Teryn of Highever. My brother has proven himself worthy to carry on in my father's boot steps."

"So he has. And he also cannot deny the importance that my lands also play in the greatness of Fereldon. Teagan was raised to his brother's station as Arl of Redcliffe but even still, his own part of the Bannorn is still vital to our survival as well as our independence."

"Which brings us back to why my brother had to resist all of the demands to marry me off to any other! Even the great Teryn of Highever must bow down to the will of the Heroine of Fereldon." Tara smartly proclaimed and meeting his lips once more with a kiss to convince him of her words.

"Did even Alistair realize what a she-devil he created when he took you to his side to run after the archdemon? Now, making you the Arlessa of Amaranthine, he has only cemented the strong hold you have created amongst our people."

"I am not so sure? It is obvious he uses my popularity to tighten his grip on the people. As well as keep his council under his thumb. After what we went through in that ridiculous uprising during a Blight no less? It proves his wisdom in such things. We all know each other well enough and work to the greater good of Fereldon. None of us is so powerful or so desire to do more than to uphold his rule here. At least I can speak for myself."

"But imagine how mighty the Grey Wardens would be if only you gave into Alistair's proposal to marry with him?"

"Seriously? It never happened officially. He himself will tell you that we both understood because of our both being tainted it was not a good match. Why must you bother me so with these tales of yours? I would make an unfit Queen as it were. Even I have only so much patience with Alistair. He has taken on more responsibility but I will not follow him around so like a little lamb frolicking in his pathway."

"He would not have it so anyways. No, he would make you wear the crown while he sat back singing all of your praises. With you at his side he would see little need to do more than what was asked of him to do. Leaving all of the major decisions, as well as their consequences, left into your lap instead."

"I would be the one everyone would be demanding to speak with, I know. While the nobles would keep Alistair drunk and merry, always distracting him from his duties. It wouldn't take too long before he would see me as a bore who didn't know how to have any fun."

"That would be a pity than. I know you to be so much more, given the proper incentives and a secure location for such merry making to be had."

"You do, do you? I should fear that you know my heart too well and therefore all of my weakness'"

"That I do. Not that you don't feel the desire to try to outsmart me and I have been pleasantly surprised by some of your actions. When I least suspect them to take place."

"That is just part of my duty. No matter how hard my brother, Teagan, Eamon, even Alistair himself tried at certain times during the Blight, nothing and no one could steal my heart away from only you. Fergus claimed that you must be the Devil himself or at least some conjured up demon to have me so completely under your spell. Of course I laughed out loud at such a tale. I assured him that no, that cannot be so. You have quite an aversion to Mages and such. But when you hold me in your arms and whisper into my ear so that only I can hear your words, I am so entranced, Ah! True, a woman in my position should not allow any man or woman for that matter to hold me so close …. but we all know all rulers are fools. One must be to take on the weight of so many when the rewards are so few. So there was my confession. If I be cursed, at least my temptation was so fine and already, it was bearing fruit! With no other Cousland heir, who was he or any of them to contest my will or to keep trying my patience!"

"Whoa be it to that poor soul! I know I find you very hard to bear when you are in a mood. I have learned it is best to let you walk about. Mostly arguing with yourself, or whomever it is that has given rise to your anger, than later just seducing you out of it once I can determine enough really is enough. You cannot help it seems but to obsess over issues even when the guilty parties are notat all present to torment in the moment. Much as I enjoy playing whatever part you want to put upon me right than, eventually, you really must calm down. Some sleep is advisable as well. And hiding any sharp weapons that may be lying around the room you happen to be in when such situations arise to anger you so. You do have this habit of pulling your dagger or whatever is handy up to strike whatever suddenly annoys you in those moments."

"Even our guard has learned to be more attentive during those moments haven't they? But it is their duty to stay present. If I must wake them up than they deserve whatever punishment I happen to put upon them. They serve the Commander of the Grey, not some fairy princess!"

"If ever they had any doubts, I can count on you to remind them of that. I get some really rash remarks from our soldiers, once they get a few pints of ale in them about you. They have to be drunk to spout off like that because all we ever do is laugh at their troubles. If the man cannot manage in service to a woman, he has only himself to blame."

"I am hardly just any woman, Bann Gilmore."

"That is very true. And you are mine, so they best be on their best behavior and watch their own tongues. I will tolerate some complaints but they know the line I have drawn. As well as how swiftly I can raise my sword or prick them soundly with a hunting knife. To do so is only providing more much anticipated sport for me."

"And the nobility dares to question me as to whom I will choose as my suitor? Still they tell themselves that they are my superiors? Let them prove it, I say!"

"But you are much too lovely for any of them to lock you up in some dark and morbid dungeon. And too influential for any of them to dare rise up to bring you any harm."

"My tongue is much too sharp for them to risk cutting themselves with. Though my brother does try me at times. Can he miss our mother that much to want to hear a woman protest and prove her own worth in his presence?"

"Apparently so? How else can anyone explain why he tried so hard to change your course of action to his advantage? It was hopeless and I told him that it was. Not that he listens to me the same way that he use to."

"No, and it is unwise of him not to do so. He must know this? After our wedding, he will make wiser choices. Once the deed is done, no one can go against the will of the Maker. They have tried hard but failed miserably to change my mind. As if my heart was so fickle? What sort of woman or leader would I be if could not stand my own ground and make what choices I know are best for me? Only you were worthy of my most sincere commitment and my vow. It is a very important decision for any high noble to have to make. I never took it lightly as many mean to suggest it of me. I mean how could I resist such a magnificent man? You are wise in both the ways of battle and have proven frugal in your management of all of our affairs thus far. And how is it my love that you only grew more handsome and more exciting the older that you became? I was captured in your trap and nothing could free me otherwise except the fear that you were gone from me forever."

"I have that effect on some women it seems? It might be arguable who set what traps and who really is the prisoner in this relationship of ours." smiling down into her eyes he playfully kissed her nose and than her forehead before giving in to her desire that he kiss her once more. "It matters not. Just appreciate me more now and I promise I will be yours forever."

"I thought you already are?"

"I am. Because of all of this…"

"My love, now you really must go to your own room. You had your fun. I love you dearly. Now off you need to go, good night. Here, let me kiss my fiancé one last time before I fall asleep."

"You mustn't make vows you know you won't keep. I will have you break that promise in the morning of course."

"I'm sure you will. I'm too tired to think or talk any sense. The baby is calming down some so hopefully, I can get some rest."

"Than I will sing some to lull you both to sleep before I make my way to that cold dark room you insist on imprisoning me in."

"I am such a cruel, pirate. So follow me orders or it will not go well with ye."

"Hum ..pirates. That could be fun? That is if you could stay awake long enough to enjoy it."

"…it can be. Just rest and sing me a sailor's yarn. We can play pirates tomorrow if you like."

"Aye, I might indeed. Now sleep well, my love. Though I whine and complain like an old woman, I am just anxious to finally be standing up at the alter with you, to make you my wife. Not that I would let any man even approach you, still, knowing you are bound to me and I to you, just seems right to me. And you know in all things, I want to do what is good and right for us both."

"I do know this. I love you the more for it. I am than very grateful for your patience with me. You have been so busy lately. I realized I had to marry you if ever I wanted to keep you in my bed."

"That is not true. This merely keeps the neighbors happy and helps me build a solid business foundation for us. I assure you, I will be as happy with you as I was a bachelor, as a husband. Happier maybe, since you than cannot turn me out of your bed. No matter how notorious I become."

"A happy thought, Rory."

"Please, don't be vexed with me. I know, I am being unreasonable tonight. You just cannot blame me for wanting to always hold you in my arms. It is only than that I can sleep soundly. Tonight I will spend too many hours wondering if you are safe sleeping alone. Unrealistic but still something I have to live with being with you."

"Welcome to the family, my love. Soon, if you let me go to sleep, I may call you my husband. Ah…finally. Though in my heart, you have been that for a very long time." She replied as she closed her eyes for good.

"And you my own as well." Gently he kissed her forehead lovingly. He stroked some of her hair aside so that he could admire her face as she dozed off as he sang to them.

On mighty rough waves, The Perseus did roll. Cutting its' way 'cross waters more deep. So deep were these waters, no sailor would say; but once over the edge, its' the bottom you stay.

Ride, ride, the great Perseus' broad decks

The waves they did smash,

through dark waters we did crash,

Slapping poor Cedric, from his left, to his right.

Ride, ride, the great Perseus' broad decks.

If you're strong enough boy than its' riches he yours.

Through mighty long stretches of waters did it sail. Seeking out

spices, more precious than ale. From its' bow to its' stern

the crew, they did learn, that you pull your own weight or its'

on a plank ye will squirm.

Ride, ride the great Perseus' broad decks.

The waves they did smash,

through dark waters we crashed,

Slapping poor Cedric, from his left, to his right.

Ride, ride, the great Perseus' broad decks:

If you're strong enough boy than its' riches be yours.

I was only a lad when its deck I first sailed; but now I'm a man, and its' now my own tale. These seas and adventures, are now mine, I do take. For no one can beat me, left to losers their fate

Ride, ride, the great Perseus' broad decks.

The waves they did smash,

through dark waters we crashed;

Slapping poor Cedric, from his left, to his right.

Ride, ride the great Perseus, broad decks;

If you're strong enough boy; than its' riches be yours..

Tis, tall and now wide I do hold on these decks, the great Perseus' mine: and it's havoc I wreck.. I'm richer today, the morrow, I might die; but forever's the voyage on this endless tide.

Ride, ride, the great Perseus' broad decks.

The waves they did smash,

through dark waters we crashed..

Slapping poor Cedric, from his left, to his right.

Ride, ride, the great Perseus' broad decks.

If you're, strong enough boy, than it's riches be yours.

So he just sang some close to her ear this song to lull her to sleep before dragging himself up to his feet. Then quietly, pulled on his robe and looked around for his slippers before making his way downstairs to his prison cell. Aye indeed. She is a ornery pirate. But a lusty one as well, so he be bound by her love. There can't be a sailor in all the world who thought themselves his better with all of the riches he now can call his own. This he told himself smartly before collapsing finally onto the bed that soon laid before him. He gathered up his pillow tight while he dreamed happily of their future together.