We Were Mostly Just Lusting After Jack and Will

Chapter 1: Yellow fog and nicknames.

"C'mon, lets nick one!" I was with the usual suspects, Bry, Libby, Megi, Shiky and Jennifer. Also known as 'that wierd girl', Mavis, Captian Morgana, The Leverage and 'Lord of the Rings!' respectively. All these nicknames have an important history which I will put at the end of chapter 2 as a 'special feature'.

For no apparent reason (or at least no reason that is relevent to the plot) we were on a beach on the coast of Burmuda. I had decided that we should steal a conveniently located dingy and attempt to row out to an island we could see in the very, very far away distance. Megi was enthusiastic about anything vaugly related to sailing and therefore pirates. Bry said she would come if there would be alcahol. The rest were harder to convince. So I siad "Jennifer, you could row in a rowboat like the fellowship down the river Anduin coming out of Lothlorien!" that got Jennifer on board and after various threats I managed to get Libby and Shiky in the boat.

After rowing for a while we got tired "Just leave it." I siad "the tide will carry us towards the island!"

"Are so sure Hannah?"

"Shiky my dear, trust me. I know these things." I closed my eyes and proceeded to sunbathe.

When I opened my eyes again everyone was asleep. Except for Bry who was reading, Bry was always reading. I inspected my shoulders which were beggining to burn and stared out to sea. I turned in another direction and I was still staring out to sea. I turned and twisted in every direction but all I could see was endless ocean.

"Oh shit."

I roused the others from thier sleep and attempted to rouse Bry from her book but was unsuccessfull in the latter. "have any of you guys recently noticed how much of a fuckwit I am?" I received a general chorus of "yes" I decided that this was not the time to react to their comments and simply carried on "I may have done something even more fuckwitted then usual." Suddenly they noticed our predicament. Libby was the first to react "Hannah you fuckwit!"

"yes I think we have already established that I am a fuckwit."

There was a long pause in which Bry finally looked up from her book. "Whats happened?" she asked noticing that something wasn't quite right "Hannah's just killed us all." Shiky answeres her "oh, ok" Bry went back to her book. "No like actually killed us. We all going to die." said Libby, always the optimist "I may have let us drift out to sea." I admitted. Bry stared at me "but...we have...no food...no...food...no..no...no..." Bry became a quivering ball at the bottom of the boat.

Suddenly Megi stood "I know!" she said with a light bulb on her head which she removed before continuing "we can use my compass to guide us back to shore!"

"And we can use my pistol to shoot seagulls for food!" Libby added. I looked at them both "A pistol with one shot and a compass that dosn't point north."

"but my compass does point north!"

"No it dosn't. Look at it!" everyone (apart from Bry who was still a quivering ball) looked at Megi's compass. The arrow was spinning wildly. "oh my god!" Shiky exclaimed "we're in the Burmuda triangle!"

"No we're not!" Jennifer hadn't really spoken yet and it was weird "what's that yellow fog?" asked Libby ignoring everyone "yellow fog?" suggested Megi helpfully "very thick" I said as it descended upon us. Somewhere amonst the yellow fumes Megi giggled

"I feel dizzy"