MUAAAAHAHAHAHAAA! New fic.
To all my returning readers, I bid you greetings, and to all my new readers, I say sit the fuck down because this is going to be a hell of a shindig. Standard start of fic shit- I don't own Naruto, and I fucking hate Musashi Kishimoto. Flames are delt with properly here- I'll rip them apart and post both sides of your textual asskicking on the forums where everyone can laugh at you. If you have something negative to say, it'd damn well better be constructive.
Now that that's said, let's move on. I've been trying to get back into writing Naruto fics formore than three years. As previously stated, I rather despise the author of Naruto canon for how piss-poorly he's handled it. The whole damn thing is more retcon than original story now.
Anywhut, for those still waiting on the re-write of my most popular story, Our Red Eyes, it's coming but it'll take a while. Writing something the second time is much harder than writing it the first time.
So then. Please enjoy.
Uzumaki. In this day and age, not much is known of the Uzumaki clan. The name is barely mentioned in the history books; long forgotten in the midst of the second great shinobi war. Very few alive even knew that the destruction of the Uzumaki clan, and their village of Uzushiogakure, was the linchpin breaking that cascaded into one of the greatest wars the shinobi world had seen since the formation of the great villages.
Today, though… the Uzumaki are nearly extinct. Remnants fluttering about on the wind like the ash of their ancestral home as it burned.
But, just as clumps of ash will occasionally fall to the ground as unbroken flakes, so too did the few remaining residents of Uzushiogakure find new homes to settle.
This is the tale of one such family, and the tragic fate of their last remaining son.
(*)
Naruto looked out over the expanse of the village from his place atop the Hokage Monument. The setting sun was already well behind the mountain, and the chill of night was beginning to creep into the breeze as it swept through his hair and open jacket. It was unlike the usually boisterous blonde, but he was in deep thought, contemplating the last twelve years of his life. In the past decade, he'd had a bizarre and difficult life. Even he, as dull as he'd admit himself to be, could see that he was different.
He had been denied care at the orphanage when he was little. He couldn't remember back that far, but he'd been told the Hokage and his family, especially his daughter-in-law, had taken care of him until he was about three. After that, the Sandaime had said it was time for Naruto to be introduced into the system as any other orphan caused by the Kyuubi's assault. Unfortunately, no orphanage would take him, and his status left him unable to be safely adopted by any of the clans, including the small Sarutobi clan. The political dissent instigated by the adoption of the Jinchuuriki into any one clan would be disastrous- the power any clan would gain from that one child within their ranks held the possibility of another clan revolting to protect their interests, especially the volatile but noble Uchiha clan, or the proud but near-violently traditionalist Hyuuga.
Naruto knew nothing of his Jinchuuriki status, or the political hurdles caused by it, however. He thought himself an orphan who was too weak for the clans to take interest in, or too hated for a non-clan family to adopt. He did think of the Sandaime as his grandfather, and had even heard stories from the old man of the wonderful woman who'd taken care of him as a baby and loved him like a son, until she sadly died giving birth to her own son, Konohamaru. Naruto hadn't asked after the young boy at the time because he'd felt angry at his 'little brother' for taking their mother from them, and later had forgotten of him entirely. What he'd known of the boy's father was that after his wife's death, he'd requested more and more dangerous and reckless missions until one day, he never returned. The only Sarutobi other than the old man that Naruto had known if only in passing was Asuma, who he'd given up speaking about when he learned the man blamed his father for his brother's death and left the village on a long mission for the Daimyo to spite their Hokage.
Naruto shook his head. He hadn't thought of little Konohamaru or that smokestack Asuma in years, and he had no idea what brought that on. With a chuckle, he continued to reminisce. His home life was adequate, having been assigned his own apartment at the age of five after some shuffling around between 'trusted' families without settling down long enough for any attachments to form. These were his first memories- the kind people of Konoha, friends of their Hokage, who took care of him when he was in need, but were distant in a way his toddling mind could never grasp. Then his Jiji had given him a place of his own, and told him that his 'good friends' as he'd called the ANBU, would check on him and make sure he had everything he needed.
'Good Friends' indeed. That was the easiest way the Hokage could get the four-year-old to trust the masked, and occasionally unmasked, ghosts. Naruto knew full well he hadn't had any concept of what a 'ninja' was back then. How could he? He was just a stupid kid. Well, he was still a stupid kid… but he was a less-stupid almost-teenager now.
When he'd started the pre-classes and accelerated studies courses on shinobi training at the age of six, he was ecstatic. He could be like his Jiji someday! Like the nice people who kept him safe and fed, and made sure he was okay when he went out on his own!
Oh, but how stupid he was back then. With any skill he was good at, he proved average in the class ratings. Skills he was poor in weren't even worth mentioning as anything but glaring weaknesses. And to think some of these kids were expected to graduate at eight to ten years old. Naruto hadn't known that they were children of clans whose prestige and social status wouldn't allow them to be anything but assets to Konoha- weapons of their village and tools of the Kage, without political or social training that might aid them in living their lives instead of being Shinobi. Of course he was going to fail, Sarutobi had told him he was going to fail- but he'd been adamant and unrelenting. He would be a part of the first classes he could, and make the old man proud.
So when he trudged up to the Hokage with his first skill reports, the old man had laughed and told him he'd done better than he should have all things considered. The Sandaime had told him how proud he was, and how Naruto's diligence and determination were his best qualities. He'd told him to keep at it- that it was good practice for the fundamental courses that most shinobi children started at eight years instead of six.
That was actually where he'd first met Sasuke. Naruto was dead-last in the accelerated class, and the Uchiha was somewhere in the middle, but they were as sociable as the classes allowed them to be- they knew the other existed, and that was about it. Still, when the other boy was pulled from the class after what happened to his clan, the blonde couldn't help but be sad for him and hope he'd be okay.
Still, that didn't put Naruto off his training or his life- as much of one as he could have, anyway. He still had the ANBU watching out for him, and he still trained in the things he was actually decent with to maintain that proficiency instead of bothering with things he was bad at anyway, but it wasn't a bad life.
The stares and hostility wherever he went were never nice, but that was just part of his life, and he never thought much about it. At least until he joined the normal classes with the normal students and the normal… actually, there really wasn't much of a 'normal' in Konoha as far as shinobi went. 'Normal' got you kicked to the curb, or dropped out of class, or pulled out by your parents when they realize you're being trained as a murder-machine. Normal was average. Average got you dead. That was the unspoken rule in the advanced classes, and it carried over a little to the normal classes. Making friends with the normal kids that were just going to die and drag you through all that grief was stupid.
Which meant most of the class did so.
Not his problem, though. He knew the clan kids knew that. Even if they wanted to ignore it or force themselves to forget it, it was still a fact of shinobi life. People died, and those left behind had to deal with it. That was one of their first lessons in both accelerated and standard classes. It was worded differently in both, but the gist was the same- emotions can drag you down, so you might not want to bother with them. Didn't stop anyone from thinking they were the lucky one it wouldn't happen to though. Everyone thought like that until someone they knew died. Or they were the one to die, but it was rather hard to think anything after that, he'd heard.
He'd had running mates, and opportunistic allies, and pranking partners, but Naruto really didn't have any friends. Even after Sasuke came back in second year of normal classes, they went back to their old standing of knowing the other existed, but only acknowledging the other when absolutely necessary. Most of those acknowledgements were verbal barbs and taunts, but most people just wouldn't get it. That was their way of saying 'You're going to die someday and make me very sad, but I like you anyway.'
At least that's what he thought they both meant. He'd never had a cordial conversation with the Uchiha, let alone a friendly one. For all he knew, he was the only one that thought that way, and Sasuke was just a dick who was being mean to him.
…nah.
At any rate, his life had taken a turn for the shitty about then. Most of his instructors were dicks and didn't bother teaching him anything he didn't already know. He was sure that if he hadn't learned in the advanced courses how to throw a kunai or fight with one, or do anything with sharp objects really, that his instructors for those topics would've been more than happy to see him cut himself on them. Iruka was okay, but he taught history and chakra theory. One was boring and the other was useless, as far as Naruto could care. His Taijutsu actually got worse as time went on, and the instructors for that, Takachi and later Mizuki, gave him lackluster forms to follow and took points off him when he wasn't doing it wrong.
That wasn't all that was bad, though. With all the free time he had now that he wasn't being trained into the ground in accelerated classes, he started pulling pranks. Unfortunately, some people didn't think they were funny. They thought it was the opposite of funny, and that he was attacking them or something. He never did care to find out- too busy running from things being thrown at him, he was.
Of course, then some of the Chunin got caught up in it and sided with the civilians, and then the sharp things started coming at him. They let up after he managed to catch one of the kunai and deflect a shuriken into a poor Chunin's eye, though. He still had no idea how he managed to do that. It was like a reflex he'd never learned. Odd reactions like that happened more often than he'd like to admit when he was handling sharp things. He tried to convince himself he was just that good, but he really wasn't.
Still didn't mean he wasn't going to be Hokage someday, though.
Anyway, after that no one threw anything sharp at him while they were chasing him. He didn't know if that was good or bad, but at least it made it more fun when he led people on those chases around the village.
So now here he was, sitting on the old man's stony mug in the shade and the chill, thinking about the exam tomorrow. He'd failed graduation once at the end of the accelerated courses, but that was no surprise. The hurt was a lot worse when he failed the optional early-graduation test last year. Sad truth was he still wasn't any better with the parts of the exam they failed him for. Maths and word problems were hard under pressure and he'd skipped half of the history classes, so written exams were out. His Taijutsu was mediocre at best, and he wasn't sure his body knew the meaning of the words 'chakra control'. At least he had two of the jutsu down, even if he had to finagle the Henge to take more chakra than it should, and he was above average with all the sharp-and-pointies.
He smirked. He really was good enough to be a Genin. Better than most of his current classmates at the parts that actually mattered like they'd been taught in the accelerated courses. He wondered to himself if he could ask Jiji to let him retake that exam instead of the normal one, if he failed again. He was sure he could pass it now. Then he'd have access to a teacher that actually knew what they were doing, and could help him along where he needed it and would let him in on advanced training methods and all that awesome stuff academy students weren't allowed to know!
It was going to be great.
Now all he needed was to decide whether or not to paint all these old faces before bed. No one would see them in the dark, and his orange jumpsuit would help him blend into the bright sky at his back…
…actually, he saw that the sky was all dark blue now.
He'd spent too much time thinking and not enough time doing, and now he didn't have the time or advantage he needed to get the job done. He chuckled to himself as he stood, and dusted himself off. "Well, I guess there's always next time."
And with that, he was off, running home to sleep before the test in the morning.
He never noticed the figures in the trees behind him, or the way they emerged after he left, looking over the paints and each other. With a nod, they were gone- and so was the paint.
(*)
The next morning, Naruto was up bright and early, even eating something healthier than just stupid cereal. He had no idea why he still kept finding fruit baskets and things around, since it'd been years since the old Hokage had told him he needed to start standing on his own two feet without the ANBU holding his hand every step of the way… but it was better than not finding them around.
He was one of the first there, watching others get in some last minute studying before the exam. He didn't bother though. No use worrying over it or messing up his stride when he wasn't getting any better in a few minutes, so he just sat there grinning and chuckling like a loon at everyone stressing out before the tests even started.
They were led outside right at the start for Taijutsu and weapons testing. After throwing kunai and shuriken at targets both stationary and moving, everyone would fight one of the Taijutsu teachers while the other instructors watched and marked them on their form, power, and skill. Naruto was one of the last to be tested. He had a feeling they planned it that way so that he'd still be riled up for the written portion, but there wasn't anything he could do about it either way. If he complained, they'd probably just fail him for the physical portion of the exam and tell him that he'd got what he wanted by not having to test at all in that part. Stupid teachers…
He didn't do terribly, but when your main mode of fighting hand-to-hand is 'punch them hard and try not to miss' you're never going to do too well. Next came the written portion after a half hour break.
It was just as bad as he'd thought it would be.
How the hell was he supposed to know the velocity difference between a standard issue kunai traveling 25 meters per second, and another kunai of the same make, thrown with the same force, with an extra half a kilogram of drag from an explosive note someone tacked on the end of it?
Why did he need to know the history of the internationally-sanctioned sparring symbol of 'combat' and how it keeps other nations from going to war when their ninja decide to spar and accidentally hurt each other… actually that sounded pretty useful. He really wished he'd thought this was that interesting before he skipped that class, not knowing what they were going to talk about that day…
GAH! More math! Converting the explosive force of a standard exploding note to the explosive force of a demolitions charge to see how many you'd need to blow a rockslide clear? It didn't matter if they gave the force for the damn TNT, he was already too frustrated to think that one through…
At what point in the third great shinobi war did the Yondaime decisively force Kumo to retreat back to their original borders before beginning treaty negotiations… hey, he actually knew that one.
He couldn't say the test went well. Far from it, he'd be surprised if he wasn't the lowest score… but at least he managed a few questions, and that was better than nothing. Next up was the Ninjutsu test.
They had the written portion in the middle to give the students some down-time between the more physical tests, but Naruto thought it was stupid. He wasn't quite sure why, but maybe he was biased because his worst subject came right before his swing subject. He didn't need the added stress of having just bombed his written test while trying to make a Bunshin… it was just stupid.
He managed the Kawarimi and Henge just fine, but didn't have any self-taught techniques to supplement his grade before those to make it a three-out-of-four grade instead of a three-out-of-three requirement that they usually kept for a passing Ninjutsu grade. No one was going to teach him an extra technique to pass with, so he was stuck with his grade hinging on his worst technique.
So of course, he failed.
The half-dozen half-dead looking clones were almost brilliant in their variety and complexity of instability and error, but they don't give points for how amazingly bad you can perform a move.
"I'm sorry, Naruto." Iruka said solemnly. "We could brush up your Taijutsu score with how well you fight with Kunai instead of unarmed, but with only two passing grades out of four… we just can't pass you."
"Hey now, Iruka… surely we can let the kid go on grit alone? He did manage two of the three Academy-level Ninjutsu." Mizuki, the second opinion for Naruto's grade, asked cheerfully. Naruto already knew the answer, though.
"The rules are very clear, Mizuki." The scarred teacher replied. "Sixty-six percent is still a failing grade, and two out of four tests passed just isn't good enough, especially considering his Taijutsu pass was already lenient."
Mizuki looked a bit sheepish at that. "I suppose you're right."
"I'm sorry Naruto. I'm sure you'll have better luck next year." Iruka said as he looked at Naruto. He sincerely seemed to want the boy to do well, and that helped soften the blow, but it was still three fails.
He nodded to his arguably favorite teacher, and walked out of the room solemn and silent.
(*)
He watched from the swing as the other students met their parents, the adults either cheering their success, or encouraging them for next time. He knew that not everyone was happy, and that not everyone was cheerful about their grade… but it was hard to see the world wasn't perfect for everyone but him when the glaring majority he could see from his creaky old swing were.
At least he wasn't crying this time.
Still, he was shocked out of his stupor by Mizuki approaching. The man had a stiff smile on his face, but looked jovial enough. "Hey," he greeted. "What's got you so down?"
Naruto just looked out over the happy, now dispersing crowd.
"Ahh…" Mizuki muttered to himself. "I see. Well, we can't all be that lucky. My folks are gone now, and Iruka lost his when he was just a kid about your age."
The boy couldn't help but look up at his teacher then, somewhat shocked by the admission. "Really?"
The silver-haired man squatted down to meet Naruto eye-to-eye, balancing on the balls of his feet and wrapping his arms around his knees in a way that made him seem young and approachable to students Naruto's age. Part of why he got the job- he was rather amicable and good with kids.
"Really, Naruto." He answered. "You know, there's a make-up you could do. A little bit of last-minute extra credit… If you can learn a fourth Ninjutsu from a special scroll, we can count that to your test score and pass you."
The blonde's eyes widened brightly. "Really!?"
The man smiled so wide his eyes closed. "Really. It has to be from that scroll though. Or else we won't be able to count it. Part of the test is getting it yourself, too." Here he became a bit more serious. "You have to sneak into the Hokage's offices, and get the scroll marked as the 'Scroll of Sealing'. Don't worry, he's in on the test, but he'll still try to stop you as one of the obstacles. This is a live-fire mock search-and-retrieval mission. And once you get the scroll, meet me here…" He pressed a small folded map into Naruto's hands. "…and while you're there, you can practice one of the techniques and if you manage to learn one before sun-up, you'll pass. Got it?"
The boy nodded fervently.
"Good. Now Naruto, this is a real mock mission, so you'll need to memorize that map and burn it before you start after the scroll, got that?"
Naruto froze at the serious tone and face his teacher was directing at him, but he nodded again and replied. "Yes."
"Good boy." Mizuki said, patting Naruto's shoulder. "I'll be waiting for you there after midnight. Don't get caught!" The teacher added cheerfully, before hopping up onto his feet and waltzing away.
He couldn't help but think it was weird, but at least he wouldn't have to wait a while before taking the test again, or bother trying to convincing the Hokage to let him take a different test.
(*)
"Come on," He said out loud to himself as he made his way through the forest. "I know the old man's in on the test, but really, he's hamming it up if he wants me to think that would take him out."
His Oiroke no Jutsu was successful. Far more so than he had assumed it would be. Really he just wanted to shock the old man into giving him a second or two to run the hell away or Kawarimi or something… Oh well, it didn't matter.
It was surprisingly simple after he got out of the building. He stuck the large scroll in an equally large cardboard box and just… walked away. It wasn't anything odd, him being out this late, or even him carrying stuff around this late. Maybe he forgot to restock on Kunai again and bought some down at that bulk shop that stays open ridiculously late? Maybe he was carrying around more pranking supplies, and no one wanted to get in his way and wind up the target of whatever he was cooking up? No one would bother to check as long as he looked natural.
Pretty much the entire trick to stealing something is looking like you hadn't. Just because he got caught swiping things now and again didn't mean nearly as much when you take into account how often he didn't get caught. He had this done as long as he just kept walking at a brisk, but natural, pace. Don't bother looking at people, you'll just wind up looking guilty. He and the villagers ignored each other pretty pointedly anyway. Not like him doing so now would be any change.
So yeah… stealing one of the village's most prized possessions was actually surprisingly easy for him.
Not that he knew how precious it was.
It really didn't matter.
He made it to where he was supposed to wait with an hour to spare. So he grabbed the scroll out of the box, tossed the empty container aside, and found a spot on the ground that happened to be both flat and dry to unroll the thing.
The first thing he saw made him cringe a bit.
"Kage Bunshin?" He read the rest of the text. Then he glanced at the next one down the list. Apparently they just listed techniques here, without any descriptions or details. Probably saved a lot of space on the thing, since even with most of the information about a technique- the description and uses- gone, it wasn't nearly big enough to have every technique ever in it. It was probably pretty efficient too, if you already knew what you were looking for, and what the techniques did.
Still, he unrolled it a bit further and didn't find anything else he could guess the use for by the name. Aside from killing people, of course… but it was nice to know if something was going to blow up in your face before you try it.
"Pretty straightforward that one… Kage Bunshin. Shadow Clone. Make a clone out of shadow. Makes sense." He muttered to himself. Naruto decided this was what he was going to start with. He couldn't help the smirk that crept onto his face. It didn't hurt that he also enjoyed the irony of passing the test with a different version of his worst technique.
"Sooo… Ne, Hebi, Tora…" He continued under his breath. The handseals for the Kage Bunshin, Rat-Snake-Tiger, were almost identical to the Ram-Snake-Tiger of the standard Bunshin no Jutsu. If they did similar things though, that would make sense. So with the amended seals, he did the same thing the class was told to do for the Bunshin- call the chakra, in his case as little as he could manage, and flow it through the signs as he made them, before pushing it outward and shaping it to look vaguely like a person…
Paf.
He was suddenly staring at himself.
…it was actually much freakier than he thought it'd be.
That didn't matter too much though after his brain clicked onto the fact that he'd actually managed a clone. He practiced the technique until he had the three seals memorized fairly well… and then… "Well, you know what they say, can't say you've mastered a technique unless you can do it with one handseal or less." Hell, his Oiroke no Jutsu and Kawarimi were both down to one handseal, too. He really needed to work on making his Kawarimi seal-less… but that was the hardest step in 'mastering' a technique. So difficult that 'mastery' was considered 'one seal or less' to nurse the ego of every Chunin or Jounin who couldn't manage to remove seals entirely. On top of that, it was almost unheard of for someone to manage a seal-less elemental technique. Something about chakra natures… he hadn't really been listening for that lesson, since it was about chakra and he already knew his chakra control was the shittiest of anyone to ever set foot in the academy building.
…even the civilian janitor.
That one stung a bit.
Getting back to how awesome he was now, he'd made a clone! An actual, real, looks-like-him-and-everything Bunshin!
"Hey boss!" One of the clones called from behind him. He hadn't been dispelling them in his practices, so they'd been piling up in the clearing for a while. He looked back to see the one that had called out to him… poking another Bunshin?
Now that wasn't right.
Standard Bunshin can't do that.
They were constructs made of chakra just barely dense enough to block out light and throw a shadow just like the original. They looked just like the original, but they couldn't touch anything- including each other - without passing straight through or destabilizing. Not only that, but other than exactly mimicking how the user looked when they were made, they couldn't sweat or bleed or talk or…
…wait a second. His clone just talked.
That was also impossible. Then again, he seemed to be doing the impossible a lot today, so he just chalked it up to this being the Kage Bunshin instead of the Normal Bunshin.
"So you guys can actually do stuff? That's awesome!" The original called back to the clone. "You guys figure out what other cool stuff you can do, I'mma keep practicing!"
And practice he did… so much so that now he was doing it with just two handseals, having cut the middle Snake seal out of the equation entirely. He couldn't seem do manage it with just the rat or tiger seals, though. After another ten minutes, an eternity to a guy like him, he shouted his frustration to the sky.
"Dammit, why can't I just use both seals at once!?"
He blinked.
Maybe he could?
Other people had special seals for techniques. That blonde girl Sakura was always fighting with… Ino, yeah that's what her name is… She had that mind-swappy thing she did and that wasn't one of the twelve basic seals…
And you could reverse seals, too. That's what he did for his Oiroke no Jutsu. The Reverse Ram worked perfectly for that… sooo… Why couldn't he change seals?
He held his left hand in the position for 'Tiger' and his left in the… god dammit that was just a normal Rat handseal when he combined them that way! He fumbled about with that for a few moments before he tried a modified rat seal and…
…half-dead clone looking like his normal Bunshin used to. Well, shit.
That was even worse for his morale than the clones around him killing themselves and each other trying to figure out if there was anything else special about them besides apparently being 'solid'.
So, he tried it the other way. He held his left hand out in the half 'Rat' sign, with his hand balled into a fist except for his extended middle and index fingers. Putting up his right hand into a half 'Tiger' sign, it was the same. Hand clenched except for those two fingers. He scowled to himself.
Pressing them together into a mockery of a Bird seal didn't work. Lacing the fingers together just made a Tiger seal, but he laced them different ways just in case… and nothing. Another way just made it a Ram or Reversed Ram, and he tried both of those to no end.
With a scowl and a sigh, he glared at the two outstretched hands, before moving them together, tilting his left hand, and crossing it over his right, fitting the balled fingers of his left hand into the cup of his right hand's curled digits. He focused chakra through the seal, shaped it, and…
Paf.
The sweet sound of unmitigated awesome.
He grinned up at his new clone that he made with his new handseal. It grinned back, and they both cheered. Naruto made the handsign again and another half-dozen clones popped into existence.
"Let's practice this thing!" He cheered, before he and his clones all made the handsign and suddenly it was getting a bit too crowded in the clearing. "You guys can use Ninjutsu too!? That's fucking awesome!"
So they made more clones, and the clones fought each other, and the original Naruto wound up in the skuffle too, but that was fine. As he roughhoused around with these boys who were pretty much him, he wondered if this was what having real friends was like.
Wait… did this mean he was playing with himself?
He wound up with a knee in his groin after that thought stalled his brain and caused him to stumble.
Yeeeaaaah, this just stopped being fun. So he tore into clones with fist and blade, despite their cries that knives were 'no fair', and after half a minute of that when his rage and pain had ebbed away, he shouted at all of them to dispel, so they did.
Well, he may have worded it more like 'get the fuck out of here' with a few more lines of expletive, but that's just arguing semantics.
So he took a break before he started practicing again. That's when Iruka showed up, all piss and vinegar, yelling about how he'd found the boy. The man really should learn to watch his blood pressure, but at his age maybe it didn't matter so much. He'd mention it later after the guy's face stopped being so puce-colored.
"Hey, Iruka-sensei. What're you doing here? Did they send you instead of Mizuki?" Naruto asked, scratching his neck. He really did look like shit, didn't he? All scuffed and dirty with a bunch of marks from that Bunshin brawl earlier… Not exactly the state he'd want to be in for his graduation, but he'd take what he could get.
"What're you talking about Naruto? You shouldn't be out here! They're saying you stole the Scroll of Sealing and I can see it right there behind you! Why did you do it?" The man honestly seemed… pretty upset about all this. Geez, if Naruto didn't know better he'd think this wasn't all just part of the test… but his favorite teacher looking like the guy might break down if he said the wrong thing? That was just harsh, even for a ninja test.
"I'm just out here waiting, like I was told to. Hey! I mastered one of the jutsu! Does that mean I can graduate now?" Iruka was still a teacher, and he should be in on it, which means maybe he could pass him and get this over with?
"Mastered a… Naruto, what does that have to do with anything? You stole a priceless treasure of the village. The shinobi are out for your blood- what have you done?" Iruka was pleading with him now.
This… really didn't seem like it was a test anymore.
Hoo boy. Naruto's face started falling from its chipper grin, a horrified look molding itself onto his features. Before he could start trying to explain himself however, another voice called out from the trees.
"So you actually managed to do it? You actually got the scroll! That's pretty impressive." It was Mizuki. Smug bastard grinning like he just got invited to a hot kunoichi threesome. It was actually incredibly creepy, the way he was smiling down at them then.
Iruka was on one of the lowest branches, far below the other teacher's perch. He called up to the other man then. "Mizuki, what's going on here?"
"Isn't it obvious?" That damn near lecherous grin grew wider. "I'm the one who organized this little 'test', and the demon brat passed with flying colors!"
Iruka's eyes widened. "Mizuki, you can't say that! You can't talk like that, especially now!" Not in front of Naruto.
"It doesn't matter anymore!" The man hopped a little lower. "After tonight that stupid law won't matter at all. Do you know why? …Because that damned demon isn't leaving this clearing alive!" Both of them were shocked by this, but more than shocked, Naruto was confused. "But before then, do you want me to tell you, brat? Why everyone looks at you with those hateful eyes… why you're so despised? Don't you want to know the secret that everyone but you knows?"
"Mizuki, don't!" But it was too late.
"Don't you know? Haven't you ever figured it out? You are the demon they whisper about. You are the monster everyone hates and fears… The beast that attacked the village twelve years ago… The very same one that killed Iruka's parents!" He was really getting into this. His near-screeching voice was almost trilling, he was so excited and overjoyed. Even if the damned demon didn't know what it was, he'd be the one to shatter its pathetic sense of human self. "You are the Kyuubi no Yoko!"
Iruka was too stunned an horrified to act, but Naruto…
It did make sense. If he was the fox, then…
It explained why everyone hated him.
It explained why no one would play with him.
It explained why he didn't have any friends…
It explained why he didn't have any family…
He was broken out of his stupor by Mizuki landing flat on his face on the ground after he'd gotten punted off the branch by an orange-wearing blonde.
"Shut the fuck up, Boss ain't no monster!" The clone yelled.
The original tilted his head. This was very odd. Apparently his clone, the copy of him, was trying to cheer him up by yelling at Mizuki about how wrong he was? Huh. The psychoanalytical ramifications of this…
…hurt Naruto's brain, so he stopped worrying about it.
"Naruto? Two Narutos? Then… What's going on?" Iruka asked , looking between them.
"Huh?" The original grunted, and blinked, focusing back on Iruka. "Oh, I was practicing with my Kage Bunshin when you showed up. There's a few more out there, too. We were going to start seeing how smart they were and if they could work together, all separated like that." Tactics and team synchronization. Why does the smart thing to say always pop into your head the second you're done spouting off the stupid way to say it?
"But… Bunshin… Kage Bunshin?" Iruka knew of the technique. Everyone in Konoha who was Chunin rank or higher could recognize it fairly easily… still, even if that's what it looked like, it was hard to believe. Did Naruto actually know that technique, forbidden to learn until Jounin rank or the Hokage himself gave you his blessing to do so?
"You'll pay for this… disgrace, brat…" Mizuki's words, almost slurred as they escaped Mizuki's bruised and battered form, broke all trains of thought as he pushed his way shakily to his feet. "I'll kill you, and I'll kill Iruka, and I'll kill everyone in my way…" The mad glint in his eye stared down both Naruto and Iruka, even as the man dodged to the side as the clone's kunai whizzed where he was standing before.
Another two clones broke out of the trees to keep the first keep the Chunin occupied while their original got his head together.
"Naruto, are you okay?" Iruka asked, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders.
"Yeah, I'm fine Sensei…" He said the words, but they both knew he was lying.
"Listen to me, Naruto…" Iruka's tone lowered and grew serious, but not severe. "Don't listen to Mizuki. You are not a monster. Mizuki is now a traitor to Konoha, which means this place is dangerous. You need to get out of here."
That shook Naruto out of his daze. "No! I can help!"
The man shook his head. "No, Naruto. You need to leave. Take the scroll and get back to the village. We have to keep it away from Mizuki."
Before either of them could say anything else, another clone dropped down by the scroll and scooped it up. "I can take care of that." It said, before it jumped away, back towards the village.
"I can help." Naruto said again. This time there was a fire in his eyes. A determination that wouldn't sit idle. He was going to stay, and he was going to help.
Iruka sighed, but nodded. "Keep back, then. Ranged support."
Naruto groaned, but nodded. They both turned just as Mizuki was finishing the last of the clones that had been hidden in the forest. No more surprise reinforcements laid in waiting… the man turned back to them, blood and rage in his eyes as he roared and charged them.
Iruka ran to meet the man while Naruto leapt back and formed his hands into a now-familiar seal. His seal. With a great many 'poof's, Iruka was no longer lacking in support of any kind, ranged or otherwise.
Dozens of the blonde stood around the Chunin pair as they dueled, sometimes throwing kunai or shuriken, other times diving in to throw a punch or a kick, or slash with a kunai. Needless to say, they were wearing the traitor down fairly easily. Iruka had a few nicks, it was true, but in all it was a landslide victory as he trussed up his former colleague in ninja wire while another clone came in to run melee interference. He had to admit, for a bunch of brawlers, these clones were pretty damned good backup.
"You won't… You can't do this!" Mizuki rasped out. He was battered and bleeding, worn to the point of exhaustion.
"You've become a traitor, Mizuki." Iruka replied. "You must face the village's judgement."
The bound man spat upon the ground, a mass of wet and red. "You're helping him? Siding with the demon?"
The man standing over him narrowed his eyes. "He is not the demon." And with that, he cracked his former friend over the head with the blunt end of a kunai. Seeing the man lay unmoving before him, his shoulders sagged, his body grew weary, and he sighed.
"Iruka-sensei…" Naruto started, quietly. He held his hand out to the man who turned toward him, but then he lowered it, unable to finish what he's begun to say.
The man swallowed the lump in his throat, and smiled. "You did very well, Naruto. …Incredible, really. This technique, and how well you used it…" He gestured around to the handful of clones still standing in the trees around them. "…You're my most unpredictable student."
Naruto smiled at that, before he rand forward and hugged his teacher. He murmured into the Chunin's vest, and the man put his hand on the boy's head to muss his hair.
After they parted, Iruka smiled again. "I think we need to go see the Hokage about tonight. He needs to be updated on the situation with the scroll, and the traitor…" He paused and smirked. "…and about a young boy who just passed his Ninjutsu test."
Naruto couldn't help but whoop and cheer, jumping around in his glee. Even the clones were being rambunctious about it, cheering and singing as they jumped and danced and a few slipped and fell because they weren't watching where they stepped.
But that was okay. The rest of the clones grabbed Mizuki after they calmed down to haul him with them as Naruto and Iruka led the way back to the village. Despite everything, today was a good day. He learned an awesome new technique, apparently passed the test and was going to be made a genin, and pounded the smug grin off that bastard Mizuki.
Everything was going to be awesome, because if there was one thing he knew, it was that Chouji's dad was mean.
…wait, what?
(*)
The Hokage stood before the group of shinobi in his office, as the head of one of the village's esteemed clans held forward the Scroll of Sealing.
"We recovered the scroll," Chouza's deep voice rumbled out. "But we couldn't find Uzumaki. The scroll was being carried by what appeared to be a clone."
It went unsaid what had happened to the clone.
"I see." The Hokage said as the large man held out his hand, which almost reached around the large scroll, and set the item in the arms of his leader. "We will halt the search for the moment. Appraise all teams that Naruto is not to be harmed, and that he is to be escorted to me at once when found. We will begin the search again once all the teams have been informed of the updated orders."
He's a good boy, and you're all out for his blood.
He never deserved this… to be cast the traitorous criminal and summarily cast aside.
The priority was to return the scroll, but somewhere along the line, whispers and rumors spread and along came the news that the one who had the scroll was Naruto… and should something happen to the poor boy while recovering what he'd taken, well…
It'd be no skin off their backs, they thought.
The old man's priority now was Naruto. He had to stop the search and assert control over the situation as quickly as possible, and-
"Hokage-sama!" One of the Chunin attending the offices while they were staffed at alert had barged into the room, breathing heavily. "Uzumaki Naruto! He's been found! Umino Iruka found him, and he's bringing him here, sir!"
Once the man regained his breath, he remembered his propriety and saluted his commander.
Said commander waived away the formalities even as he smiled. Iruka was a good boy, and he liked Naruto. Everything was going to be fine. "See they are brought here unimpeded, if you would."
"Sir!" The Chunin barked, but then stiffened as if just remembering something. "But sir, also… They have another Chunin with them. Bound and badly injured. Clones… copies of the- erm, of Uzumaki are carrying him here as well, sir."
The Hokage's eyes narrowed. So that was it, then? He always hated when his soldiers went sour, but that was just a fact of shinobi life. Everyone was the enemy. Everyone.
…by the gods, he was too damn old for this.
"Good. Do tell Naruto that he's done a good job with his mission, will you? Luring out traitors is such dangerous and difficult work, after all." The entire room blinked at that, but accepted it as fact.
This, too, was shinobi life.
"Ah… Y-yes, sir." The Chunin saluted again, and left along with several other members of the room to rendezvous with the boy and his teacher, and carry out their leader's word.
A Kage does not lie. He changes the truth of his village and its people.
This, too, was shinobi life.
…too damned old for this.
(*)
Naruto and Iruka had a harrowing, if easy time of their travel back to the administrative building. Nearly everyone they met was hostile, but those who moved to obstruct them were quickly allayed by a few words from Iruka. The Hokage would deal with this.
Mention of the old man usually got anyone to back off pretty quickly. Some followed behind at a distance. A rare few ran ahead. It was not a bad walk.
When they were almost there, a group of shinobi met them, and told them they were to meet with the Hokage. Iruka chuckled and said that was the plan all along. One of them said some odd, if nice things to Naruto. Their trip after that was uneventful.
"Ahh, Naruto-kun, Iruka-kun… it is good to see you both." The Hokage said somewhat jovially. When they arrived, the others in the room besides the Hokage all left… some less happy to go than others.
The old man's eyes settled on Mizuki, taking in the clones at his periphery that dispelled after setting the man down just behind the pair they'd followed in. Odd, that… Naruto must have learned that technique from the scroll, and was already using it to great effect.
"Well, then… report." Their leader ordered.
Iruka snapped to attention. "Mizuki tricked Naruto into stealing the scroll. He intended to kill Naruto and take the scroll, to what end I do not know." He wasn't going to stay in the village. He was going to run, and take the scroll, and turn traitor. It didn't need to be said.
"I see… Naruto-kun?" He asked, turning to the boy.
Naruto fidgeted a bit. It was still weird seeing the old man as his boss… "I… failed again." He finally choked out. "The exam. Mizuki-sen… said that I could make up part of my grade and pass if I could steal the scroll and learn a Ninjutsu from it."
The Hokage nodded, knowing there was more. "Go on…"
The boy grew somewhat somber then. "Until Iruka-sensei… until just before we started fighting Mizuki, I thought everyone was just in on the test, and playing along. I guess not, huh?" He shared a wry smile with the old man before he continued. "But I did it. I learned the Kage Bunshin. See?"
Naruto held up his arms and performed the Ninjutsu in question, half a dozen clones appearing interspersed through the room around them. The Hokage's eyes widened, but not for the reason Naruto thought. "That sign… How did you…?" He already knew, but he didn't want to believe it.
"Oh, that? There were too many signs, so I shortened it." The boy said with a shrug.
The old Kage couldn't help it. He laughed. Long and deep, he laughed. It was almost a minute before it petered out, but more than long enough for the others in the room to start feeling awkward.
"My apologies, you amazingly unpredictable boy…" He started after the laughing had ceased. "Are you telling me that you reinvented a handsign that took renowned Jounin years to perfect… in less than an hour?"
No one questioned how the Hokage had known it had taken him that long without prior mention of it. Every shinobi in Konoha knows that you don't ask Sarutobi Hiruzen how he knows everything- you just assume he does.
"Ehh… I guess so?" The blonde answered sheepishly.
The old man smiled. It hadn't taken that long to invent that specific shortcut sign, he knew… but it had taken the founders of Konoha years to confirm that it was indeed the most efficient single handseal with which to use the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. Amazing… the boy was truly amazing.
With another chuckle, the Hokage nodded. "Then I suppose this would affect an amendment of your graduation ranking…"
The boy smiled wide, and the world was right. Sarutobi nodded, even as the boy's inevitable outburst washed over him. Such an excitable boy he still was… The old man walked over to one of the cabinets at the side of his office, and retrieved a small object from one of the drawers. He returned to stand before the boy, holding out the rectangular bundle. It was black cloth wrapped in upon itself, and weighed more than its size would imply as the boy took it. When he unwrapped it, he found a plate of metal fixed upon the cloth. Shiny and grey, engraved with the symbol of the leaf village.
"Congratulations, Genin Uzumaki."
The boy surged forward at the old man's words, and wrapped his arms around his surrogate grandfather. Tears of vindication and joy soaked into the robes of his office, but all he did was smile and comfort the boy, smoothing down his unruly hair.
None of them cared to notice that Mizuki was no longer in the room, either because they hadn't noticed his removal, or because they knew that nothing happened in this office without the Hokage's approval.
ANBU were sneaky like that.
Iruka nodded and left. His job was done for now.
When the boy was finally done, he stepped away and wiped his face down with his still-filthy sleeve, and smiled.
The old man returned the smile, and nodded. "Well then, before you head home for a well-deserved rest, is there anything else I can do for tonight's young hero?"
He really hadn't thought much would come of that, besides the boy perhaps asking for his hat and job early, or ask about his parents whom he knew the Hokage knew of. After all, The Professor knew everything worth knowing in Konoha. Perhaps the boy would ask of the Kyuubi residing within him… but Naruto was always full of surprises. With a smirk, the boy answered.
"Yeah, Jii-chan. I want a new coat… and a sword."
So yeah. While I was writing this apparently a chapter came out in the manga that says the Sarutobi have been a clan since like, for-fucking-ever. Since I generally toss out everything that happened after the chapter where they rescued Gaara from Akatsuki, I'm just going to say… nah.
So, I'm working under the assumption that the family of any Hokage is immediately raised to 'clan' status, regardless of how small they are. The Sarutobi aren't an old or powerful clan in this, but they are the family of the Hokage, and therefore something akin to nobility in Konoha. Thus a minor clan.
The sources I looked up can't definitively agree whether the Hokage mountain is to the north or west of the village, but it's always one of those two. So I'm going to go with west for the sake of a scene. I also can't find any images of Sarutobi's office back when he was the Hokage and I'm not digging through the manga to find it. So let's just rightly assume that as the author, I have the right to redecorate a little.
Before anyone gets on my case about how a 'D' grade is just fine- it isn't. In the real world, college-level, a D is just a less-bad failing grade than an F. And in fields where lives are on the line like engineering, physics and medical fields, 'almost perfect' is still more than enough to kill people. A 70% C is laughably bad in that case, while it's a low pass in other fields.
I know I'm just using the American system for grading in those examples, but that's what I'm familiar with, and I hope I didn't muss up the chapter too much with it. I tried to keep an actual grading method other than percentiles out of it.
I'm just going to say that Sasuke didn't take the early test because he was still catching up from having missed the first year due to his trauma therapy. Winding up first after coming in late is no mean feat, though.
Bluh bluh.
ANYWAY.
Pairings are as of yet undecided, however, I could make it work with any girl in the series Hana's age or younger. I didn't watch the filler arcs in the anime, so they're out by default. If you send me a PM or leave a review with a girl in mind and the reason she'd be an awesome fit for this incarnation of Naruto, I might put up a poll with the best ones later to decide which one I'll go with. Or hell, I might just go with the best one you guys come up with. Then again, I might just decide that the author knows best and decide I like a girl for this Naruto that I want to write him with, disregarding all those suggestions. At the moment though, I'm pretty neutral to all of them.