A/N: This is the promised companion piece to The Battle Within. It has been a long time in coming, with various drafts half finished over the last year and half. This however, is not pulled from a previous draft but is completely different than anything else I had come up with, which is good considering they all sucked.
Like Battle, this is pulled directly from my own experiences. My boyfriend and I were reconciled with each other after a long and painful history (mostly due to my own foolishness and stubbornness) with an embrace quite like the one James and Lily share here. That hug was the beginning of everything, and it is from that hug that this story flows from my fingers.
My playlist for this fic, which gave me the platform for pulling these feelings out of myself, stands thus: Ocean Wide by The Afters; Mine by Taylor Swift; The Only Exception by Paramore; She (for Liz) by Parachute. Over the others, I played Ocean Wide the most. Some of my favorite lines that directly relate are "I'll stay right here; It's where I'll always belong, Tied with your arms. You see through all my fears, and that's what got us here. When love is a raging sea, you can hold on to me. We're gona make it"
I realize that I have a lot of run on sentences, but many of them I crafted that way on purpose to appear more like a thought process than a narrator's voice.
Enjoy! And PLEASE review! It will most certainly make my day :)
Danny, after reading all of my stories and enduring the fact that most of them were written about other guys…I hope you read this and see just how much more important you are than my past.
This one is for you.
She found him in the empty common room beside the dying fire, a mug of coffee in one hand, a book in the other…hair tousled, his expression so full of concentration and so fixed it seemed hard to picture it any other way. It seemed impossible to picture his smile, when it had been so long since he had sent one her way. When was the last time he had even looked at her? The days that had passed had stretched out into an invisible bridge between them, one so long and with so many obstacles blocking her path she wasn't sure if she could ever cross it. But she had to try.
She took one step forward, and then another. And then before she knew it, several strides and a heartbeat later, she stood before him. She stood before him, broken and quite lost, empty handed with nothing left to offer but her heart. She hopped it would be enough.
He heard the portrait hole open but didn't look up, even though it was long after everyone had gone to bed. He didn't register the soft footfalls that inched across the carpet, or the slow breath she drew when she reached him. He didn't even realize it was her until he heard her say his name.
"James"
It was posed as a question, though he realized after it had left her lips that she hadn't intended it to be so. He was surprised; and instantly anxious when he saw her face. The deep dark that rested somewhere behind her eyes, the anxious crease of her brow, the tears that filed the bottoms of her lids and threatened to spill over, her trembling fingers and her ragged breathing. Her entire being poured forth uncertainty and fear, and like a mirror he took her heart inside of his own, and it was as if her face were his own reflected back at him.
She looked away because she couldn't stand to see the pain clearly etched across his face. She looked at the ceiling, at the rug beneath her feet, at her hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Was this why he hadn't looked at her in all those weeks? She had thought it had been anger that kept him away; his anger was one of the reasons she had stayed away for so long. But it was clear to her now that whatever anger existed at the beginning was now gone. And that gave her the courage to go on.
"James, I've….I've been a fool. I've…."
At these words she looked up from the ground and met his eyes once more, and he silently pleaded for her to continue.
"I've been so stupid. You were right about everything. About me. You've been right this whole time; and everything I've put you through….I wouldn't blame you if you never forgave me."
She sank to the ground in front of him, and wiped away the tears that had finally dripped down onto her cheeks. Her hair swung forward from behind her ears and hid her face from him.
"I don't deserve you, not after how I treated you. But James I….I love you."
These words, however softly spoken they may have been, were what he had been longing to hear. He leaned forward and placed his fingers beneath her chin, drawing her gaze up to his own. Hers were pleading, and so full of sincere candor that it was all the confirmation he needed.
He stood, drawing her up with him as he went, and wrapped her in a tight embrace. After just a moment she exhaled and relaxed inside of his arms, the heat of his body enveloping her and epitomizing the release of all the anxiety and torment that had led her to him that night. It was forgiveness and reconciliation without words; and it meant more than anything he could have said.
Slowly and deliberately he leaned back, withdrawing his arms from around her back but moving his hands to gently cup her face.
Their lips met and his kisses were sweet and slow, better than she had ever anticipated. His hands moved into her hair, cradling her against him. She clung to him, her hands against his chest, her knees weak. After a moment, they parted, his forehead resting upon hers and their eyes locked.
"I love you too."
He wiped the remaining tears glistening upon her cheeks and their smiles lingered as their lips came together again. He kissed her mouth, and her nose, and her eyelashes, running his hands down her body to rest at her waist and pulling her tight against him. She was his. All his.
Later that night she lay curled against him, his arm keeping her tucked in close, her breath rising and falling gently with sleep. He wanted this time to stretch on forever, to never leave them. It was perfect.
He had been so scared she would choose wrong. That her stubbornness would keep her away from him forever.
But she had made the right decision.
His heart swelled as he settled in next to her, his mind on the things to come.
She had made the right decision. She was his.