Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar to the Harry Potter Universe….
Summary: A challenge fic. Based on imdeadsothere's Funny Quotes Challenge… My first ever! Please R&R… Various characters and scenes used…
Hermione Granger was sitting in the hospital wing, cradling her broken wrist in her lap as she watched her two best friends, Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter, bicker with Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini, Slytherin Prats numbers 1 and 2. Why they couldn't just calmly explain to her what had happened after she was struck in the head and fell down the stairs, blacked out and broke her wrist, was a mystery to her.
"I can't believe you're blaming me, Weasley-" that was Malfoy. He couldn't believe Weasley had the nerve to blame him, Draco Malfoy, for something that had happened to his lame girlfriend due to his own clumsiness. Stupid wanker.
"Stupid Zabini, if you would've just left Hermione alone-" and that was Harry. Always the heroic Harry, he had his wand out and looked on the verge of dueling Zabini, who had a very calm and relaxed look on his face, one that probably wouldn't be there for much longer if Harry could help it.
"-swear to Merlin, Potter, get that wand away from my-" that was Zabini, and you don't even want to know where Harry was pointing his wand.
"SHUT UP!" Hermione finally yelled, tired of their arguments. She wanted an answer, and she wanted it now. If the only way she was going to get that answer was by putting her foot down, then so be it. They all looked at her shocked before Harry started mumbling something about Bloody Malfoy and stairs. "I'm trying to listen to you, Harry, so you're going to need to speak louder."
Harry then moved closer to Hermione before beginning to explain what happened, only loud enough for her to hear. "When we came around the corner by the Library after lunch, we saw Zabini sneaking around the other corner towards you with his wand out. We yelled for him to stop, and when he tried to throw a curse at you, we ran forward to protect you from him. As soon as we started to fight him, Malfoy came around the corner and saw what was happening before joining in." He looked nervous that Hermione was going to yell at them for fighting, but only nodded for him to continue.
"Anyway, when I tried to stand up, I tripped Malfoy, who then punched Ron in the stomach instead of in the face, and he fell into Zabini, who then kicked me in the shin so I was hobbling around like a pirate until Ron managed to stand and grab my other arm, where Malfoy decided to play red rover, and when we let go because we saw he was coming, he went flying into you and knocked you down the stairs, where you hit your head and blacked out, and when we ran to get you from the bottom, Zabini pushed Ron and he stepped on your wrist, breaking it. So then, we started fighting again, until Madame Hooch found us in the corridor and brought us all to the Hospital Wing, where Madame Pomphrey healed us and issued all five of us detention." After he finished, Harry backed up to where the other boys were standing, because he knew she was about to be very angry.
"Excuse me Harry, but I'm not sure I heard you correctly. Did you say all five of us have detention? Because that's what it sounded like you said, and you boys better hope that's not what you said." She stated absolutely livid.
An hour later, a smirking Hermione was seen leaving the Hospital Wing, her wrist no longer broken. As the doors closed behind her, one could hear the girlish screams of four boys as they looked at their reflections and saw that they now all looked closely related to Eloise Midgen.
Quote #1: Shut up! I'm trying to listen to you.
A/N: So this is the first thing I've written in almost a year, and for that I apologize. My other story kind of died when I went back to school for my senior year, and now that I've graduated (Which was yesterday :) ) I now have more time to write. I have started the third chapter of my other story and hope to get it up soon, along with the first chapter of a new story I've begun.
Also, if anyone knows how to make a claim in a forum for the challenges, please help me because I don't… :( (Which means that I have not yet claimed I am responding to the challenge, but will as soon as I get the info on how to).
And, as always, please R&R, because feedback and criticism is always appreciated. :)
And finally... I know that the title Humerus is the bone and not the humorous as in funny... that was the point...