Meet Me on The Inside
One: To Wish Upon a Star
A wish on a shooting star gone wrong leaves Regina and Emma in an unexpected situation that forces them to reevaluate their friendship. Will it survive to bloom into something else, or will it crumble and fall?
A/N: Had this idea bouncing around inside my head so decided to write it out. If I'm inspired enough I might add more to it, but for now it's just going to be a few chapters.
It starts off as CaptainSwan (if the term even really applies; very vaguely) but becomes Swanqueen by the end.
Fuck Hook, Regina thinks spitefully as she pours herself another tumbler of her cider, hand shaking with the strain of thinking about that bearded joke of a man, and because of all she's drank already. This is her fifth, no, sixth? glass of cider and she knows she's going to regret this in the morning but right now it's her best option. Killing people or ravishing whole towns is no longer open to her, so slowly poisoning her liver is the next best she's got.
She drains that glass quickly and slams it too harshly onto her desk top where she sits hunched over on herself. Her blazer is hanging haphazardly off of the chair, one sleeve off, almost as if it was drunk too. Her shirt is unbuttoned all the way down to her bra and barely tucked into her skirt. I should have taken the skirt off, she thought to herself, because it was going to be a pain in the ass to get it off, along with the pantyhose, without tripping over herself. Good thing her heels were neatly arranged downstairs, otherwise she bet she would have somehow managed to stumble and fall over in them, despite sitting down.
She poured the last of her cider into the glass, watching the last amber drop fall from the crystal decanter as she set it aside. She would have to get more. She wasn't drunk enough. Her tolerance for such manner of drink was high, given all the parties and revelries of the Enchanted Forest. It would take more for her to sufficiently and successfully black out to the miseries of this new world. Emma surprisingly had a high tolerance too- and here Regina went, thinking of a certain blonde. She swore to herself she wouldn't think of Emma, because to do so only caused her pain, especially whenever she saw Emma with that damn dirty pirate. He didn't deserve to have her, yet he did despite the fact he had been a villain too, had done some truly reprehensible things. Apparently, selling his ship for her had been enough proof to show how good he was. How willing to love.
Regina would sell her whole damn mansion, her Mercedes, anything of hers, if that's all it would take to prove she could love someone, that she was good enough to love them. But she knew it wouldn't be enough. It never would be enough. Because she was the evil queen and no matter how hard she tried to redeem herself only Emma believed her efforts, and even though the blonde believed her efforts, it wasn't enough either for her. She'd smile and wave, and be friends with Regina, but that was all they were.
Friends.
What a disgustingly sickening word. It only showed the limitations of how they could not progress through that stage onto something else.
Regina knew it was partially her own fault for the state of things. She had been antagonistic towards Emma, trying to even kill her once or twice, and the blonde had been pigheaded right back at her. But it was how they were meant to be at the time, for they were destined to be the evil queen and the savior. However, time passed and differing circumstances arose and they'd thrown the hatred aside for mutual respect and a workable relationship. And then it had turned into something else. Given some time for retrospect, and to enjoy the benefits of being friends with Emma, Regina had noticed that her earlier feelings of hatred had something else underlying them. It had been attraction. She had found the blonde attractive and an equal. Emma had been able to stand up to her time after time, and even keep up with Regina despite all her initial shortcomings and lack of knowledge with just what exactly she was dealing with.
Regina admired that. And she had wanted to...well, that was the crux of one of her dilemmas. She didn't know what she wanted from Emma. She did, but she didn't at the same time. She wanted the comfort of another body lying beside her, wanted soft kisses in the dark, wanted family meals by the table, wanted something solid. Yet she didn't want to ruin what they had already. They had fought and clawed their way to get their relationship where it was, and Regina was afraid that any small disturbance would cause it to come crashing down from the mountain tops to a deep dark abyss choked with animosity.
Regina ran a frustrated hand through her hair, huffing over her seventh drink, unfocused eyes on the amber liquid. Why couldn't things be easy for once? Why couldn't she stop suffering? Seeing Emma with Hook, losing her to Hook, was a terrible blow. He had nothing he could offer to her. He was irresponsible, a drunkard, a slob, and a bloody pirate, above all! What could Emma see in him that she couldn't in Regina? Why had their love come so easily?
Everyone's love came easy except for Regina's.
It was like the universe was stacked against her.
I just wish, for once, I could get what I wanted.
And what was it she wanted?
She knew she couldn't have Emma, given as it was too late. The sheriff was already settling down with Hook, moving in with him, and it would only be a matter of time before they exchanged matching rings. The thought made Regina's mouth fill with acid, so she washed it away with a hearty gulp of alcohol.
And she was too cowardly, too afraid to come off as needy, to not have her feelings reciprocated, to confess to Emma or to try and make a move on her. She just wasn't ready to have her heart broken like that again. All she wanted, was perhaps, just a taste of what could have been.
A bright light flashed across her window, drawing her attention to the outside world. A streak of light was zooming through the inky darkness. A shooting star, she mussed belatedly. She didn't believe in shooting stars or in their ability to supposedly make wishes comes true, but she made one anyways, because what would it hurt? The alcohol had her feeling sappy and hopeful so she made her wish silently.
The star fizzled out and Regina finished off her glass before hiccuping gently and thunking her head down on her desk top. Damn it, she wasn't supposed to be thinking about Emma, or how Hook was probably holding her in his grubby hands- hand- and whispering sweet nothings into her ears. Yet she couldn't stop herself, or the way her eyelids slowly closed as sleep finally claimed her.
Under the lone shine of her desk lamp, Regina slept. And she dreamt of things she could not have.
She was stumbling in the darkness, steps heavy and climbing up somewhere. She didn't know where she was, couldn't make out the place. Her foot slipped on one of the steps and she threw out a hand to catch herself against the wall, steadying herself with a manly grunt. Apparently it was enough to wake up the other occupant of this place. The lights flickered out and Emma stepped out of the room Regina had been trying to get to.
"Killian," she said, reproach in her voice, folding her arms over her chest.
I can't even escape that mongrel in my dreams, Regina thought angrily. Her thinking of him and Emma must have lent her to having this odd dream. Could she shake it off? Because she didn't want her subconscious mind teasing her about things she couldn't have-her conscious mind did enough of that as it was.
"Emma," Hook's gruff voice came, sounding too loud, despite it being Regina who formulated the words.
"Are you drunk again?" Emma did not look happy at this.
"I was just having a little drink with the boys," he slurred, waving his hooked hand in explanation. It got stuck on the wall and with a a series of unsuccessful tugs he pulled it out, before nearly falling down the stairs if Emma hadn't taken a hold of his elbow.
"Until four in the morning?" Emma raised a disproving brow. "I thought we talked about this?"
"We did, love," Regina spoke, though no, she didn't know Emma and Hook had such a talk. She had hoped they would, because Emma deserved more than a man who came back home drunk like a fish, acting like he could go off and have fun with the boys like he was a bachelor.
"And?" Emma tapped her foot.
Regina was overcome with affection for this dream Emma. Good for her, don't give in to his shit. "And I said I wouldn't be doing it anymore. Today was my last day, and you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I told the boys I was committing full time to spending more time with you."
There, that sounded something Hook-like enough. Knowing him, he would even give up drinking for Emma. Or at least Regina hoped he would. Emma deserved that.
"Oh." Emma's facial expression was indescribable. It was not the reaction Regina had been expecting from her. Wasn't she happy? Didn't she want a committed man? "That's...sweet," she said, sounding like she wanted to use another word. "But I think you should go to bed. Sleep it off."
"Of course. Know I love you," Regina leaned in and kissed Emma on her lips. The blonde's lips were soft, and warm. And they felt...so real. Like Regina was kissing the real thing. She instantly wanted more; found the feel addictive. So she kissed her again. And again. A buzz that had entirely nothing to do with the alcohol in her body filled her.
"Alright, Killian, I know what you're looking for," Emma pulled away, playful grin on her face.
"Do you?" Regina asked, because all she wanted was to keep kissing Emma. This was the best dream she'd ever had so far-if she looked past the fact she seemed to think she was Hook (maybe she somehow wished to be like him because he had Emma-she'd never thought her jealousy over Emma would lead her to wanting to be a stinking pirate)- even her fantasies of the blonde not comparing to how real this all felt.
"Uh huh, I do. You may think yourself slick and romantic but you don't need sweet words to lure me into bed." She grabbed the lapels of Regina's leather coat and tugged her into the bedroom, joining their lips together once more. Their tongues intertwined, dipping as they moved their heads to get better angles. Regina was breathing through her nose, lips sloppily trying to match Emma's. She cursed her drunken state. This was the last time she drank before going to bed.
Emma separated and sat down on their shared bed, patting the spot next to her. Regina hurried quickly to take off her boots and her jacket but doing it all with one hand was quite hard. Emma gave a small chuckle at watching the struggle before getting up and with gentle hands pulling the jacket off and then started to unbutton Regina's shirt, tossing it to the floor. The mayor looked down to see her chest was flat and hairy.
Horrendous. Why was her imagination filling in these sorts of details for her? Completely unnecessary. Yet Emma ran her hands across Regina's newly sculpted chest and the brunette felt something harden within her pants. Okay, that was new too. But she supposed it went along with the vastly different anatomy she currently had.
Regina saw that Emma was looking expectantly at her and got back to work. She'd think over the weirdness of this dream later, when she was awake. She slipped Emma's tank top pj easily over her head and found her naked underneath. Regina couldn't stop the heat pooling lower in her gut, or the way her new friend down there twitched. In the moonlight streaming through the windows, Emma was perfection. Toned arms, round breasts, and a sculpted stomach. Regina wanted to get her hand all over her, and her lips, but she felt too overwhelmed by Emma's beauty, in seeing her like this in front of her. So she stood there and gaped.
"What's wrong? Shy?" Emma teased, working to free the buckle from Regina's pants. Regina kicked her pants off and let Emma lead her to the bed. Emma laid down flat on the sheets and Regina hovered over her a tad awkwardly due to the hook. Emma's hands threaded through Regina's shorter hair cut, coming down to cup her chin. They shared one more kiss and then Emma directed Regina's head down to where she needed it most.
Emma's taste was exquisite and the way she moaned and writhed above Regina was everything. It was better than anything in her previous fantasies and she didn't want it to stop, but Emma had to come eventually and she did so yelling out Killian's name and grabbing hard on Regina's hair until it made tears come into her eyes.
It hurt that Emma was still calling out Killian's name but why shouldn't she if that was who Regina was in this dream. Instead of letting her plea for Emma to call her Regina spill forth from her lips, she busied them by delving into Emma's core once more, making Emma clench her eyes shut hard and tremble all over again like she was going through an earthquake.
And then Emma was directing that part of Regina into herself and Regina felt a shudder hit her body as her eyes fluttered shut. She never could have imagined it would feel this good to be inside someone. It was so warm and wet and any qualms she might have about knowing how to use her new instrument were quickly thwarted as instinct took over.
They rocked in rhythm, panting and groaning in unison before Regina came first, Emma following a close second behind. Regina finally let her body collapse on top of Emma's sweat slicked skin. Regina had long sweated most of the alcohol out due to their activities, and now was finally able to regain her breath, before slowly opening her eyes to take in Emma's satisfied and drowsy look. Her hand ran through Regina's hair.
"That was something else..." she murmured.
I agree, Regina thought, never knowing a dream could feel this intense. It literally felt like she had come, her body aching in a strange but familiar manner, and the scents, soft vanilla and lemon coming from Emma, and the sounds, crystal clear of Emma's breaths and her words, all so real.
"What got into you tonight? It's never been this good," Emma lifted her lips up to allow Regina to kiss her again.
"Need another reminder? Because I can show just how truly good I can be," Regina husked, not willing to let this dream end just yet, and felt the lips under her's freeze. Hands pushed against her shoulders and she found herself staring into an intensely confused and scared face. Emma's eyes flickered back and forth as if looking for something that wasn't there, before she fearfully swallowed and spoke in a horrified hoarse whisper.
"Regina?"