I had an idea for a story and I let my imagination run free. It's really random. Hopefully I'm just a tad funny.

I don't own stuff you recognize.

These rules are from the 150 Things I'm Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts thumbnails from this website.

And the link is on my profile. Take a look!

Enjoy!

Everyone hated the year that Umbridge graced Hogwarts with her wonderful presence. She was snarky, evil, and everyone (except Filch) agreed that she was a downright bitch who needed to get laid. Well - maybe Filch agreed with that last part. Oh, Merlin. Nightmares. She had so many rules and regulations. She MUST have had an abnormally large stick up her arse twenty four hours a day, eight days a week. (Don't you just love that song?) I'm sure everyone (except Filch) let go a sigh of relief (and some gas) when she left. Filch probably cried himself to sleep for a few nights. Again; nightmares.

It was odd, however, that her way of making rules had suddenly caught on. I know what you're thinking. "Umbridge? A trend setter? Next thing you know, everyone is going to start wearing pink dresses and gain five hundred pounds!" It was different though. The rules weren't issued by the professors, but by a very comically inclined group of students. In simpler terms, they were rules made by the funny kids. There were 150 rules that were made up as the school year went on. You'd think Hogwarts was dry, boring, and serious place with the scare of Voldemort, but you'd be surprised what kind of stuff happens on a daily basis.

Rule 11

Seamus Finnegan fell asleep in Potions. Snape had his abnormally large nose in a book that he had received by owl as he left his class to do the potion he assigned. What the class wasn't aware of was that Snape charmed the cover of the book to make it seem like he was reading "How to Survive a Mid-Life Crisis," he was really reading "Me and My Hair, and How to Care." He glared at the book with hate when he removed the Barbie wrapping paper from it during dinner the night previous. He swore he heard snickering from the Ravenclaw table. They were going to pay. He stomped out of the Great Hall with the book in hand, intent on burning it page by page in his dark, damp, and somewhat smelly room. Oh, how he needed a girlfriend, he thought. (Or a boyfriend, some students and teachers speculated.) He opened the accursed book and held a page with his thumb and forefinger determined to enjoy the ear pleasing rip until he read what was on the page.

Wait, we were talking about Seamus. RIGHT. Seamus Finnegan fell asleep in Potions with Snape reading some prank book that was probably the best book he could ever receive. Not many people noticed or cared that Finnegan fell asleep, but the one person who did notice and did care was Gregory Goyle. He turned his obese head to his left and nudged Crabbe awake. He awoke with a snort and lazily opened his eyes. "Huh?" he muttered incoherently.

Goyle grunted, pointing his head and raising his eyebrows toward Seamus. Crabbe replied with "Ahh!"

"Mhm," Goyle hummed. This wordless, and very creepy, exchange of noises, although very stupid, lit up two very dusty light bulbs in two buffoons' heads. Crabbe opened his book bag, stuck his hand in, and rummaged through it. He didn't have much luck with the first few handfuls. Instead he found a half eaten moldy sandwich ("For later," he grunted, placing it on the table), a lot of crumpled parchment, and a half eaten book. (Hey, he wasn't going to read it and he got hungry a few days previous.) "Aha!" he finally said, pulling out a black marker. Crabbe and Goyle smiled at each other. Well, 'smiled' isn't exactly the word for it. They grinned sourly at each other in attempt to look evil. God, they needed to stop worshipping Malfoy and his narcissistic ways.

They looked left and right, as if trying to cross a street, trying to make sure Snape wasn't watching. When they were satisfied, they tip toed their way towards the sleeping Irish boy. Their attempts to be sneaky, however, were futile. They didn't really tip toe; it was more of a muffled stomp. Can you say earthquake?! Said earthquake did not awaken the target, though.

Crabbe and Goyle (such horrid names, really) finally reached Seamus, out of breath, and their heart rates pumping fast. Disgusting. They should have taken that gym membership offer they received by owl as a prank, not burn it in the fireplace. What idiots. Goyle snatched the marker from Crabbe, and waved his free hand in front of Seamus's face to make sure he wasn't awake. The Irish boy snored lightly, and Goyle was satisfied. He uncapped the marker and started to draw.

Several minutes later, Snape glanced up from his extremely interesting book and noticed the enormous pigs, Crabbe and Goyle, out of their seats, crouched over a napping Finnegan. "Crabbe! Goyle!" he barked, slamming his book onto the table. "Sit your fat arses down before I make you."

Crabbe and Goyle whimpered and went back to their seats as the class roared into laughter from the Potions master's remark. "Finnegan!" he screamed. Seamus woke with a start and blinked rapidly, taking in his surroundings. "10 points from Gryffindor for sleeping in class."

Seamus was angry, but didn't show it. Instead, he rubbed his eyes, still heavy with sleep. When everything looked crystal clear, he started to put his head down when he noticed…

"Who the hell drew a penis on my arm?!?!?!" he yelled, trying to rub it off. The class again erupted into laughter as Seamus angrily rubbed at his arm.

"A what?!" Crabbe said. "It's supposed to be the Dark Mark!" The laughter multiplied exponentially. "What the hell, Goyle?! How do you screw up like that?" Crabbe yelled.

"I thought it was a pretty good Dark Mark…" Goyle said quietly. Crabbe groaned and rested his head in his arms on the desk.

"Shut up and get back to work, you swines," Snape growled. The whole room went silent. Except for…

CRASH!!!

Crabbe and Goyle fell to the floor in a big pile, landing on the broken splints of wood that were once their chairs. Crabbe's face just so happened to be precariously placed by Goyle's huge bottom when Goyle let a long one rip. (For those of you who don't know, that means he farted.)

"20 points from Slytherin for damaging school property," Snape said, pinching the bridge of his abnormally large nose. He was dizzy. "Ugh, and another 20 points for smelling up the place. Class dismissed. I need some air."

Rule 11; If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

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