It's
A Matter of Privacy
Acepilot
AN - Part of the Valentines Day Fanfiction festival. An empty house, Valentines Day...but four's a crowd. It's an all out war, ladies and gentlemen. May the best sibling win.
Disclaimer - the AGU gang are property of KlaskyCsupo.
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"Phil!"
"Lil!"
"I need to talk to you."
"I need to talk to you first."
"I need the house this weekend."
"You can't have it! I need it more!"
"Mom and Dad are going on their little vacation and Tommy's coming over, so you've got to clear out."
"I'm expecting Kimmi!"
"Well, you'll have to go to her place or something."
"But it's all arranged already. Come on, Lil, it's our first Valentine's Day together. Can't you cut me a break?"
"Nup. I've been waiting for this for nearly a year and you're not going to ruin it for me now. Find somewhere else."
"What makes you the automatic winner of the house for the weekend?"
"Because I'm the oldest, that's what!"
"Hey, hey! You can't use that two times in one day. You already got the bigger serve of ice cream with dessert because you're the oldest."
"Damn. Oh well. I still get it."
"Give me one good reason why I should let you have the house for the weekend."
"Because Tommy's parents deserve their own privacy on Valentines day."
"So do Chazz and Kira. Try again."
"Because we've been together longer."
"You've already had a Valentine's day, so I deserve one now. You've got to do better than that, Lil."
"Because I'll do your chores for a week."
"Nice try."
"Because I said so!"
"You're not even trying anymore. Look, Lil, you got the house for Valentines Day last year without a fight. So I should get it this year."
"Last year doesn't count. You didn't have a girlfriend then."
"All the more reason for me to get it this year! I've finally got someone to celebrate with!"
"No, Phil. I have it all planned. Romantic. Candles. Dinner."
"You're cooking?"
"Yes. I can, you know."
"I stand unconvinced. And I stand unmoved. If you won't give up the house, then we'll have to share."
"We can't share! The walls are thin! We'll hear everything each other is up to!"
"You have a problem with that?"
"You don't?"
"I can deal with it."
"I can't!"
"Then you'll just have to give up the house for the night."
"Oh no, no, no. You aren't getting it that easily."
"If you're so squicked by the idea of hearing me and Kimmi not-sleeping, then that's not my problem."
"Kimmi would never go for it."
"Wanna bet?"
"You're disgusting."
"On the hour, every hour."
"Scissor, paper, rock?"
"No. You always cheat and make up stuff. Flip of a coin?"
"Nup. I don't trust you with coins. You always seem to win. Cut a deck?"
"Alright, alright. We'll cut some cards."
"Where are you going?"
"To get a deck of cards!"
"Then I'm coming! I'm not leaving you alone with the future of my relationship for a second."
"A bit melodramatic, sis?"'
"Shut up and shuffle."
"Shuffled to your satisfaction?"
"No. Give me the cards. I don't know if you rigged the deck or not."
"I don't know if you're rigging the deck or not, either! And you went last!"
"Just cut the deck."
"I got the joker."
"I got...ruff...redouble...major arcana - this is the rules! You moron! You didn't take the extra cards out!"
"Shut up and cut again."
"A nine."
"A twelve."
"A what! Let me see that."
"It's a five-hundred deck. I win."
"Oh no you don't."
"Oh yes I do. I won fair and square."
"What am I meant to do?"
"Pitch a tent in the backyard? How should I know?"
"A tent in the backyard!"
"Sure. Why not?"
"Because that's not romantic at all!"
"Then go to the woods or something. It's not my problem. Anyway, have a nice weekend. I've got to head. Meeting Kimmi at the Java Lava."
"Phillip DeVille, you get your butt back here right -"
slam
"Now. Brothers."
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reviews are appreciated.