Ok guys another one shot ik but I just re-watched the movie Chicago and had to write a LWD I hope you like this little oneshot. I don't own LWD or this great musical number.
Cell Block Tango
It was all Casey's fault really, it was her TV time of course but he really wanted to watch 'The Girls Next Door' for educational purposes, of course. But when he ran downstairs and into the living room and saw Casey lounging on the sofa, eating some organic crap and watching some dumb musical…probably Cats of that stupid whining guy with the mask on so he of course went to take the remote from her and she almost bit him.
"Der-ek!" She said in annoyance. "Can't you see that I am watching something?"
Derek shifted and looked at her. "Uh yeah but I'm not watching any stupid girly musical." He shivered at the memory of watching Rent with her and didn't want to relive it.
Casey smirked. "Actually Derek, I think you might like this one."
Derek huffed and went to sit down on his chair. "Oh really?"
Casey smiled and sat up. "Yeah, it's called Chicago " She saw that he rolled his eyes and was about to say something about how stupid it had to be if she liked it but she hushed him. "Shh, here comes my favorite number, it's the cell block Tango."
Now this interested Derek because it was a bunch of girls dancing around in half of clothing and the singing wasn't that bad, so he was instantly drawn into the tale of the woman Roxie and her desperate plea for innocence. He watched the randomness of the movie and how dance numbers would randomly pop up and when the movie was over he stretched himself out and announced that he was going to bed. When his head hit the pillow he instantly fell asleep because laying around and doing nothing can make one oh so very tired. But along with his sleep came a very strange dream that involved a few people he knew very well.
Derek instantly found himself sitting in a chair with a table in front of it, and on this table was a sweating glass of water. But placed in front of him was six jail cells, of with each held a person inside but their faces where dark until the sounds around him turned to music. Then Sam appeared in a spot light, his hair slicked back and he had on a pin stripped suit and he spoke in a cheerful yet very rehearsed voice, kind of like the ones that you hear on the 70's game shows.
"And now, the six merry murderesses of cook county jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango!" He said and faded away as the music got louder.
"Pop!" The first light came on in the first cell to show Sally who wore a belly button top and black skirt
"Six" The second cell's light came on to show Kendra who was wearing a knee length dress
"Squish" The third cell's light flicked on to show Emily who had on a skin tight black shirt and shorts
"Uh-uh" The forth cell's light turned on to show Amanda wearing a black nun like dress
"Cicero" The fifth cell's light flashed on to show Casey wearing a black corset and fishnet stockings, her hair in big curls as she took a puff of a cigarette.
"Lipchitz" It was Roxy in the last cell, from the lodge she too was wearing a black ruffle dress.
Derek gulped, what was he in some kind of drug trip? Then the girls spoke faster
"Pop"
"Six"
"Squish"
"Uh-Uh"
"Cicero" Casey spoke out, in a very husky voice as she reached her hand out of the bars that held her
"Lipchitz"
This repeated once more, faster than the last one. Derek watched as the girl's quikly changed poses and then sang out.
"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you have been there, if you have seen it…"
" I Betcha you would have done the same!" Casey sung out, her blue eyes wide but not in fear. But in anger, pure anger. Derek was mesmerized
"Pop"
"Six"
"Squish"
"Uh-Uh"
"Cicero"
"Lipchitz"
His attention turned to Sally who squeezed from her holding cell to the middle of the floor. She began to speak, a red light beamed down on her as she told her story.
"You know how people have these little habits that gets you down. Like Kevin. Kevin liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP." Her eyes bugged out at the word. She continued, pacing the floor. "So I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy and there's Bernie lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing. No, not chewing, POPPING." She slammed her fist down onto the table "So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...Into- his -head."
Derek fell back out of his chair and saw that the other girls where laughing, in a rush he got back onto his chair and sat down. And the girls began to sing again.
"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you have been there, if you have heard it…"
Casey crossed her legs. "I betcha you would have done the same!"
Kendra was the next to leave her cell, she pushed the iron door open with her pinky and smiled
"I met Max Miller in College about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together." She still had that smile painted on her face "He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out: "Single" he told me. Single, my ass." Her smile turned to a hysterical laugh "Not only was he married... Oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know." She then knelt down next to Derek "So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!"
Derek watched as she made her way next to Sally then stood perfectly still before singing out with the rest on the girls.
"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you have been there, if you have seen it…"
"I betcha you would have done the same!" Casey sung as she winked at Derek
Then Emily's cell door flew open and she waltzed out and she began her story.
"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business.
In storms my husband Sheldon in a jealous rage. "You been screwing the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept on screaming, "You been screwing the milkman." And then he ran into my knife." She said with a shrug "He ran into my knife ten times!"
She walked over to the others and then repeated "If you have been there, if you have seen it…"
Casey then leaned into the iron bars. "I betcha you would have done the same!"
Then the lights turned blue and Amanda came out of her cell slowly. The music slowed down and well Amada began to talk in a different langue, making all the girls stare in confusion.
"Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam
a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg..."
"Yeah." Casey asked as she crushed her cigerette. "But did you do it?"
Amanda shook her head no. "Uh-uh. Not Guilty!"
Casey smiled and the music slowly sped up as her cell door rose open, she sauntered out of her holding cell.
"My cousin, Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband, Derek, traveled around with us." Casey began, playing with her finger nails. Derek looked at her confused, he wasn't her husband. But he was unable to take his eyes off of her. Her clothing or what little of it she had on, left nothing to the imagination. But he let her continue on
"Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row. one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other." She counted these off of her fingers "So this one night before the show we're down at the Hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozing, having a few laughs and we ran out of ice. So I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Derek doing Number Seventeen - the spread eagle." She was now lying across the table, her chest directly in his face. She was eye to eye, nose to nose with Derek
"Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later; when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead!"
Derek stood up "No!" he roared. "No Case! I would never do that to you!"
The other girls came over and grabbed his shoulder's forcing him into the chair. Casey whispered against his lips. "Oh but Derek, you did…so I did what I had to do!"
She then crushed her lips against his before getting up, the girls then broke into a dance as they sung
"They had it coming, they had it coming, they had it coming all along." I didn't do it but if I'd done it how could you tell me that I was wrong?"
"Casey!" Derek yelled out
But they ignored him and Casey lead the group of girls in the song/
"They had it coming, They had it coming, They had it coming, They had it coming, They had it coming
They took a flower All along In its prime I didn't do it And then they used it But if I'd done it And they abused it How could you tell me It was a murder That I was wrong? But not a crime!"
"Casey!" He yelled again. "I would have never had cheated on you! And you are not a killer Casey!"
He then turned when Roxy's part began, he really didn't care about what she had to say. He just made his way through the dancing girls and tried to get to Casey.
"I loved Jesse Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter. But He was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead." Roxy yelled with both hands to her side
Then once again the girls started to sing and the backed Derek into a corner.
"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum" They all sung in harmony
They had it comin' All along 'Cause if they used us 'Cause if they used us And they abused us And they abused us How could you tell us How could you tell us That we were wrong? That we were wrong? "You pop that gum one more time!" Sally threated
"Single my ass." Kendra said with an eye roll "Ten times!" Emily smugly said "Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe." Amanda mournfully said "Number seventeen-the spread eagle" Casey said as she poked Derek in the chest.
"No Casey I would never cheat on you that was Truman remember!"
"Artistic differences." Roxy snapped
"Shut up Roxy!" Derek snapped. "Casey please listen to me!"
"Pop!"
"Six!"
"Squish!"
"Uh Uh"
"Cicero "
"Lipschitz!"
"Derek!"
Derek tossed in turned. "No, no Case that was Truman not me!"
"Derek!" Casey said a little more forcefully and began to shake him. He woke up with a start and noticed that he was back in his room.
"Casey oh thank god!" He said and sat straight up to hug her, then noticed that his whole family was in his room and cleared his throat. "Casey?"
Casey looked at him. "What Derek?"
He narrowed his eyes. "I am never watching another musical with you, ever again!" and fell back into his bed. "Now everyone leave! I need my beauty sleep!"
The family left the room and went back to bed, Nora stopped her oldest Daughter. "Sweety, was it me or was Derek dreaming about you?"
Casey shuttered. "Mom I don't even want to think about that." She watched her mom go back downstairs and then pressed herself to Derek's door and quickly said
"Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!"
And laughed when she heard Derek whimper.
A/N- This is what Amanda, Ralph's girl was saying in English "What am I doing here? They say my famous tenant held down my husband and I chopped his head off. But it's not true. I am innocent. I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain at the police station but they didn't understand."