Written for tehringmaster, who wanted Sam/Gene and an unexpected item/place.
Disclaimer: ... Oh, please.
~*~
"You said these would fit!"
"Well, brainbox, you never mentioned how bloody big it was going to get!"
"How was I supposed to know that you didn't know that sort of thing?!"
Approaching footsteps sent both the figures diving for cover, pulling it in front of them and trying together to stuff it under the desk. Once the footsteps faded, one shot the other a blue-green, narrow-eyed glare.
"Just what are you implying, detective?"
"I'm implying that you seemed to know your way around all of it well enough last ni--"
"Shh!" shh-ed the taller man, taking a quick glance around before responding further.
"Not here, all right? What did I tell you! Besides, last night we didn't have that to deal with." He cocked his thumb at it, the top half still out of sight beneath its hiding place.
For a moment, they stared at it and shared a contemplative silence.
"Well, best get to it then." Decided the other, rubbing his hands together before squatting down before it, grabbing something, and giving a fierce yank upwards.
"Oi! Don't tear it!"
"You'd best come down here and help then, hadn't you?"
A few grunts, curses, and manly noises of frustration later, the two set it into place, stepped back, and took a proud look at their handiwork.
"It actually has quite a resemblance." Remarked the shorter man, hands on hips. "If he... well. You know." He waved a hand expansively at it.
His companion gave it a second, slightly more considering look. "You may have a point." he replied, and after a moment clapped a hand onto the other man's shoulder. "Well, time for us to get going. Got the whole night ahead of us, after all."
There was a sliding, sideways, meaningful look which was returned with interest. With a raised eyebrow, even. The two proceeded to grin at each other and then snuck very sneakily out of the RCS department and back to a small, slightly cramped flat with one bed and intimidating wallpaper.
They left it sitting on a chair in front of a desk. Its knee-high leather boots weren't zipped all the way up, and the fishnet stockings pulled rather tightly over the plastic thighs. The corset seemed to sit well over the upper body, though, even on top of the flat, smooth chest with toilet paper spilling out over the top of the breast-cups. The thong really did show off the air-filled bulge of the figure's ... assets... quite nicely, though it was built for a more narrow-hipped figure and the straps looked close to snapping.
The sketch taped on top of the figure's face was what pulled it all together, however. You know, it really did bear quite a resemblance to DCI Litton.
Even though he didn't usually tend to wink quite that lewdly.