Author's Note: This is for my friend Rob, who wanted a story with a more in-character Quinn.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
That's Easy, This is Hard
Part 1
The first day of summer vacation is a bittersweet event in Quinn Fabray's life. As is the last day of school, but let us not dwell on that. While most people find school a living hell, Quinn Fabray finds it a place where she can rule, feel powerful, do whatever she wishes. And why not? She is the HBIC. No one questions her. If she wants something, you get it for her, no discussion. Having Coach Sylvester behind her is a real leverage.
So that's the bitter part, what's the sweet part?
The sweet part of summer vacation is the vast amount of time – even after taking out about a week of time to do summer work – is her ability to spend time with Rachel Berry.
Rachel Berry? You mean that annoying dwarf with a big nose and an even bigger mouth?
Yes, that Rachel Berry. And while you may think that, I highly suggest keeping it to yourself, because if Quinn Fabray hears you say that, she will make sure your life is a living hell. Of course, she won't directly recognize it as the reason behind your suffering
She'll make an excuse, trip next to you and say you did it. Start talking to you and then make a scene, claiming you said something vulgar to her.
Don't fuck with Quinn Fabray.
Oh, but there is something about Quinn Fabray you're not allowed to know: she's a lesbian. A closeted lesbian. And yes.
Rachel Berry is her favorite obsession.
Now, being the daughter of religious parents, and living in a town that is less than accepting about homosexuals, she is determined to keep her relationship with Rachel Berry a secret. Only three people know.
Rachel Berry, Brittany S. Pierce and Sue Sylvester.
So I suggest this, if you ever find out about the relationship known to Brittany as Faberry, keep it to yourself.
You'll live longer.
One last thing, her frustration with her own cowardness, the fear of being rejected by her parents, and the fact she loves Rachel Berry leads her to become angry very often. And sometimes she hurts the people she loves when she's angry.
And that's where this story begins.
Friday, June 15th, 2011: Rachel and Quinn's phone call.
Rachel sat silently on her bed. Her fingers tapped the screen of her phone – she was missing her secret girlfriend, Quinn Fabray. She loved the girl, and she knew she was a good person, which is why she put up with the bullshit she did. The occasional slap. The verbal abuse. The occasionally-erotic-but-nonetheless-painful sex.
Oh, and the constant break ups. And by constant, I mean about once a month. Quinn would have a meltdown – usually around or right after her period – and break up with Rachel. After about the third break up, Rachel understood Quinn would never really leave her.
Rachel and Quinn's Fourth Break Up; Three Months Earlier:
Rachel sat in her bed, her eyes red from tears that had started earlier in the afternoon. Quinn's hurtful words had left a dent: You want to walk around and hold hands? Go back to Finn. Then I won't have to listen to your bullshit every minute of every day and I can finally have a life. If you shut up at least once maybe this could work but all you ever do is talk about yourself. Me me fucking me. Fuck you. It's over.
It wasn't the worst thing Rachel had been told by her, but it still hurt. She had curled up on her bed when she got home and cried into a pillow. She wished she had a teddy bear or something from Quinn she could cry into, but Quinn never bought her anything. And she never let Rachel buy her anything. A long time ago Rachel had gotten Quinn a stuffed animal and Quinn blew up. Rachel never saw the gift again.
Rachel's phone started to vibrate against her vibrantly colored sheets. She reached for it and a slight smile formed when she saw Quinn on the front. She pressed the phone to the side of her face and waited.
"Rachel?" Quinn's voice on the other end sounded as weak as she assumed her own sounded.
"Hey." She was right.
"Are you mad?"
"Should I be?"
"Probably."
"Well, I'm not."
"Okay."
Rachel didn't respond to that. Quinn didn't add anything for about twenty seconds.
"Please say something."
"I thought you didn't want me to talk."
"You are mad."
"No."
"I want you to talk. Tell me what you're doing."
"Crying."
"Why do you do this?"
"What?"
"Make me feel like shit."
"Quinn I don't want to. All I'm doing is crying."
"Well then lie! I don't want to hear that you're crying."
Rachel tried to comprehend what she just heard.
"Do you even care about my feelings?"
Quinn didn't reply for about a minute.
"I do."
"Don't lie. Just because you want me to lie doesn't mean I want you to."
"I care about you Rachel."
"It doesn't seem like it."
"I can't handle this Rachel! I hate myself as it is and I don't want any more reasons."
"How about a reason to love yourself?"
"There aren't fucking any."
"I know there's at least one."
"What?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Are we back together?"
"Do you want to be?"
"Yeah."
"Then yeah. We're back together."
"I miss you."
"I'll be over later. Sound good? I promise I'll hold you."
"That sounds nice."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
The line went dead.
Three Months Later:
Rachel smiled when her phone went off in her hands, immediately launching it to her ear.
"Hey." Rachel chirped happily.
"Hi."
"I've been waiting for you to call."
"How long?"
"A half hour."
"You haven't been doing anything?"
"I've been thinking."
"About?"
"You."
"I feel bad for you."
Rachel laughed.
"I don't. You're beautiful, remember?"
"I tend to forget."
"Lucky you have me then."
"More than luck."
"Aww."
"When are we gonna see each other?"
"I don't know. I don't know what my parents are doing yet."
"You can always come over here."
"I know."
"You never seem to."
"Rachel. I was just there a week ago."
"Quinn, we've been together for months. You should be here multiple times a week."
"I'm sorry I'm not fucking you every second of the day."
"Don't get defensive. I'm just saying."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"Shut up Rachel."
Rachel felt the venom from Quinn's statement. Quinn soon regretted it.
"I'll talk to you later."
"Don't leave, Rach."
"I don't want to bother you anymore."
"You're not."
"Then don't act like it."
"I'm sorry! Okay? Just don't tell me not to be sorry. I'm a fucking jerk and I should be sorry."
"Don't talk about yourself like that."
"I'll talk about myself any way I want."
"Please…for me."
"Just drop it Rachel!" Quinn shouted.
"Okay."
"I have to go. My parents are calling me down. I'll talk to you later."
"I love you."
"Same. Bye."
The line went dead. Rachel felt a tear escape from her eye.
Across town at the Fabray residence:
"Quinn!" Judy Fabray called from downstairs.
"Coming." Quinn called, sliding off of her bed and quickly making her way downstairs. Judy and Russell Fabray were standing the kitchen. Judy was chopping some fruit and Russell was reading the paper.
"Who were you talking to?"
"No one."
"Quinnie." Her mother frowned.
Quinn crossed her arms, trying to show she wouldn't tell. Well, she did. "Rachel."
"Rachel Berry?" her father asked.
"Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?"
"No."
"I haven't stopped talking to her."
"We know, honey," Judy interjected, "we've been looking at the records online."
Quinn frowned, her heartbeat jumped.
"You talk to her quite a lot." Russell pointed out, putting the newspaper down. Quinn nodded.
"So?"
"Well, quite frankly, we're worried."
"About?"
Judy and Russell looked at each other. "Well, Quinn. You've seemed stressed a lot this year. Since you started talking to Rachel."
"Okay."
"We think that maybe you should stop talking to her."
"Okay."
"Will you?"
"No."
"Quinn."
"I don't care what you think."
"Excuse me?" Russell's voice was firm. Quinn's knees felt wobbly.
"That's…it's not what I meant. Just…" Quinn crossed arms turned from an expression of defiance to protection.
"What did you mean Quinn?" Judy said, slightly gentler.
"I wanna keep talking to her."
Russell exhaled. "Well, if she's the reason you're talking to us the way you are its out of the question."
"No! She's very polite and respectful. You need to meet her. She's very well-raised."
"Quinn…" Judy mumbled.
"We don't want to hear about her parents." Russell crossed his arms too.
"Why?"
"Because they're Jews."
"Nothing to do with they're gay too?"
"No."
"Mhm." Quinn's voice was slightly sarcastic.
"Quinn!"
She jumped and turned to her father. He was turning red.
"Okay. I'm going to my room now." He nodded. She slowly and shakily returned to her room.