At last, I have him right where I want him.
Ooohoohoo, look at him, all strapped down to that chair, completely helpless. Just the way I like him. Typical though, he was so easy to catch. Always is. The stupid sod. The older he gets, the thicker he gets. And now, here he is, trying to save me from myself. Bah, I don't need his pity, his charity or his forgiveness. Although…I have to admit that seeing him all tied down like this makes me…Hmm, I wonder if I can unstrap him really quickly, rip off his clothes, turn him around, strap him back down and bugger him in front of Gramps. Might be interesting. Could be fun. Might be a bit of a shock for Grandad and his ticker since apparently the old codger admires the addle patted twit. But then again, the man is what, ninety, one hundred? If he dies now, it won't be that big a tragedy. Old geezer's probably lived a long, full life and who knows, he might secretly like watching that sort of thing. I've never met the guy before so I wouldn't know what kind of kinky things he might be into. Cor blimey, Doctor, is this who you travel with now? Old Age Pensioners? What happened to your devoted females who used to slavishly follow you around everywhere? What happened to Martha the Martyr who walked the whole bloody world for your sorry arse? What'd you do? Tell her to go walk across Mars and she died of exhaustion? What about that studly little immortal? Where are you hiding him? He was well fit. Damn, I should have buggered the freak when I had the chance but how was I to know you'd have something up your crusty sleeve that would actually work. Then again, shouldn't be surprised, you usually do manage to get away, don't you, Doctor. Or perhaps…I let you get away. Because if there's one think I love, it's the chase and the cat and mouse games I play and you always fall for them, don't you? Makes me think that perhaps you fancy me just as much as I fancy you. You won't come out and say it but I think that's why you're always trying to rescue me so you can…what was it? Keep me? I wonder what keeping me would have entailed. Shame that bitch wife of mine shot me, might have been fun finding out.
But anyway…here you are, Doctor, completely at my mercy. You and your little friend, the only two people left on this Earth who aren't me. You see, Doctor, I improved on your little pets. Those lowly, backward, idiotic humans you're always fawning over and rushing to help. Now you don't have to worry about helping them any longer because they're all me. Leaves more time for us. Not that you won't have any choice in the matter, of course. This chair is just the beginning. I'm gonna find ways to make you scream that you've never even thought of and perhaps Geezer here will watch. I always did like an audience around while I work.
You know…just had a thought about Saint Martha. If Martha is on Earth now…she's me! Imagine that! His faithful companion is me now! Wonder if I could sort out which one she used to be and bring her in, just to show the soppy sod what's become of his warrior. Too bad this Rose is stuck in another universe. From what I overheard when I was human, he seemed to have feelings for that one. I'm betting it would have been a real shock to him if I brought her in and she was me. Wonder if Jack is me now? Imagine that, an immortal me! I've always wanted immortality and thanks to him, I got it. Hoo Hoo, this whole idea of creating the Master Race is getting better by the minute. Although…he's not human, is he? Blast, he wouldn't have changed anyway, what a shame. Damn, I wish I'd had this technology sooner, then I could have changed these pathetic Earthlings years ago and raised the intelligence level of the universe. Of course, the hero here would have been devastated but…I could have come and comforted him then. His oooold buddy, patting him on the back and saying, "There, there, it'll be all right. You'll get over your loss of the stupid apes in time," and then perhaps he could find solace in my arms.
Look at him. I wonder what would happen if I took the muzzle off his mouth. Would he blubber out that he forgave me and I must turn away from the dark side and be a jedi like he is? Good movie, that. Star Wars. One of the few things Earthlings produced that doesn't make me vomit in the loo. But yeah, I'm sure the simpleton has a forgiveness and turn away from doing bad things speech all prepared in his head and he's just waiting for me to rip away the muzzle so he can say it. Do I wanna hear it? Hmmm. Might be amusing but on the other hand, might put me to sleep. Decisions, decisions. Actually, I'm hungry right now. Damn it, why can't I ever get full? Stupid wife, fouling up my resurrection. She's responsible for this. Too bad she's dead now, she coulda been me. What a loss. Still, gotta make the best of this whole situation. After all, I own everything on Earth now so I can eat whenever I want and eat and eat and eat. Ooo, just thinking about it makes my stomach growl.
But first things first, the Doctor. I need to think carefully about what I want to do with him and…what? Okay…why is there a phone ringing in Grandpa's pocket? Blimey, if it's not one thing, it's another. I have a feeling though it's something to do with the Doctor, usually is. I'll just answer it and see who it is. Hold on, Sweetie, your Master has to answer this phone, see who it is, sort out why someone is calling Gramps when I'm everyone on the Earth and after that, you and I are going to have some fun.