Disclaimer: Not Mine
Spoilers: The Proof in the Pudding
A/N: I keep seeing her saying that phrase, all desperate and I just had to do something with it. I know it feels weird and super OOC, but I had to get it out.
"I promise now. I promise now!"
Her voice hitched in her throat and she dropped her hand in surrender. She hated fighting with Booth. He had a way of making her feel like she'd said the most evil thing to him and there was no taking it back. Then when they did make up, she felt like it was somehow forced, like he only made up with her for the sake of the case. In other relationships she didn't mind this feeling, but with Booth, it was like an insult. To her, to their partnership, to every bit of trust they had forged in the last five years.
It had been days ago, they had been getting along, joking, laughing, working just like normal. But there was still this rock hard feeling in her chest somewhere under her sternum, and she just couldn't shake it. It pulsed when he looked at her, when his voice raised, and when his eyes narrowed. She didn't understand why it affected her in such a way, but she accepted it. And then she tried to think of a way to ignore it.
Unfortunately, she had never been good at ignorance, and found herself standing at Booth's door, her hand poised to knock. She didn't have a plan as to what to say or what to do, which was not her usual M.O., but she supposed she would just figure it out.
She knocked gently at first, then harder when he didn't answer.
"Alright already, I'm coming!"
She bit her lip as he opened the door, his brow furrowed. It softened when he saw her and he tipped his head to the side.
"I thought you might be Rebecca," he said, by way if explanation for his attitude. "Bones, what's the matter?"
She sighed a little and met his eyes.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure Bones. Come on in."
"Are you expecting Rebecca?"
"Yeah, later. Come sit down. What's on your mind?"
"Booth, you sound like Sweets."
"Tread lightly Bones."
She smiled just a little and sat down on the couch, her hands folded tightly in her lap.
"What's bothering you?" he asked, perching on the arm of the chair next to him.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No. Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because of what I said the other day. Because you yelled at me. Because… I feel like you are, even though that's irrational. I can't feel what-"
"Bones."
"What?"
"I'm not mad at you. I was frustrated and that's why I yelled. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I just feel like you resent me for it."
He sat down next to her, his arm sliding around her waist.
"Bones, I would never resent you. I'm not holding anything against you. You're my best friend. It's going to take way more than bringing up my ancestry to make me hate you."
She sighed and he tucked a fallen strand of hair behind her ear before drawing her into his arms and holding her tightly.
"We're okay, Bones. I promise. You believe me?"
"My head does. But I still feel like… when I close my eyes, I still see you walking away, being mad. I don't know why."
"I do."
"You do?"
"Bones, I've never yelled and walked away in the middle of an argument like that. I've always known it was a bad idea to just abandon you like that. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
"I don't think so."
"You know how much I care about you, right?"
"I believe so."
"Bones, your parents loved you and they left. Russ left. Sully left. I don't want to do that to you, even for a minute. That's why it bothered you so much. Because it felt like I was leaving. That's why you could barely get the words out. That's why I hear them in my head constantly. I know you probably want to rationalize that away, and that's fine. But it's there."
"It makes sense," she said quietly. "I do have a fear of being left."
He pulled her closer and grazed his lips over her forehead.
"I will do everything I can to never leave you. We might fight and disagree, and maybe someday I'll even walk out. But I promise you, I will always come back. Always."
"Okay."
Their eyes met strongly for a long time and his hand reached out to touch her cheek.
"I promise you, right now."
He moved closer, closer, until the end of his nose was brushing against hers. She took a deep breath and let her eyes slide closed.
There was a loud knock on the door and they pulled apart, not daring to look at each other again.
"That's probably Rebecca," he sighed. "She wants to talk about Parker. I told her she could call me but she insisted on coming over and-"
"Booth. It's okay. You promised. I should go. For now."
He walked her to the door, reaching out to squeeze her hand.
"I'll see you in the morning, Bones."
"Goodnight, Booth."
He reached out to open the door but she stopped his hand halfway.
"I would suggest keeping your emotions in check while Rebecca is here. She has a tendency to bring out the angry side of you."
"I'll keep that in mind."
He opened the door and Rebecca and Brennan exchanged short friendly greetings before Brennan slipped from the apartment.
"Did I come at a bad time, Seeley?"
"There's no bad time to discuss our son."
"But you were here with Dr. Brennan, and you have that look on your face."
"What look?"
She just chuckled and sat down on the couch.
"Denial."
"Rebecca, I know what you're getting at and-"
"You're in love with her. Even Parker knows it."
"I am not."
She shrugged and took her coat off.
"I know better than to argue with you about that."
"I appreciate that. Now what's going on?"
"I got a new job. There's going to be some travel involved, maybe for a week at a time. Parker's going to have to stay with you more often. I know that's okay with you, but I don't know if that's going to work with your job. I've looked into a few babysitters that would be willing to stay with him after school, even help with his homework… Seeley, are you listening?"
"Yeah."
"Your mind is on whatever happened with you and Dr. Brennan, isn't it?"
"No."
"Look, I can tell you're not all here. We can talk about this tomorrow."
"Rebecca don't-"
"Seeley, I'm not mad. We have weeks to figure this out, okay? You go get things straightened out and then we'll talk."
"Are you sure?"
"You can't be a bachelor your whole life, Seeley. You don't function well without someone to woo."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying that you have a big thing going on, and this thing with Parker and my job, right now is a little thing. Go take care of that. Okay?"
"I guess I am kind of distracted."
"Just a little. I'll talk to you later. Good luck."
She stretched up and kissed his cheek, then headed out the door.
"Promise me you'll talk to her, Seeley?"
"Yeah. I promise."
She smiled and left the apartment and he walked over to the couch, picked up his phone and made a call.
"Hey Bones."
"Hey."
"Want to meet me in the diner in about half an hour?"
"I was already headed there. Want me to order you some pie?"
"Nah, I'll just eat half of your fries."
"Okay. I'll see you in a while."
He hung up the phone with a smile. Yep, he'd always come back to her.