Title: Sorry for Your Loss
Summary: Set during "Let It Bleed." At the wake, Peter considers the title phrase as he tries to avoid thinking of his brother's death. Spoilers for "Ink" and "The Fifth Stage"
Notes: Been meaning to post this sooner, but never got around to it till now. The dialogue is from the episode and has been updated to be more accurate.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," Nathan's aide, Elizabeth, said to Peter.
He acknowledged her words with a slight smile, but it vanished the moment the girl stepped away from him. In the quiet, somber atmosphere of the wake, he heard the low chimes of a clock's bell in the distance as it intoned the hour. A clock had struck the hour that night too…the night Nathan--.
No,Peter thought, forcing himself to break that train of thought. Instead, he contemplated the phrase Elizabeth had used earlier, rolling the words around in his head.
Sorry for your loss.
He had used the exact words himself when talking to William Hooper about grief.
People can offer their condolences, they can tell you they're sorry for your loss, but they don't know what it is that you're feeling, he had said. All his years of experience as a hospice nurse, of seeing families grieving for a loved one, had taught him that it was wiser to keep your mouth shut than to spout the usual remarks. Better to comfort with your presence than with your words.
But, at this moment, no one was there for Peter. He had seen Heidi and the boys retreat to another room in the mansion just before Elizabeth had approached him. His mother had waved to them and was now talking quietly to a fellow mourner Peter did not recognize, nor cared to meet.
He wandered over to the window, looking out at the night sky. He wondered where Sylar was now. Was he still in New York, waiting to strike against him? Or was he already terrorizing more innocent people? Was he ki—
"I keep looking up too," his mother's voice broke into his thoughts, "hoping to see him."
Peter realized she was talking about Nathan. He felt a stab of guilt. He should have been thinking of his brother, he knew, but how could he when it hurt so much? As long as he didn't think of Nathan, he could keep the pain at bay. The worst pain imaginable, was how he had described it to Hooper. And that was when he had only seen others grieving.
Angela, however, was not helping matters by talking about death and "its complications." Now, she was asking Peter how he was feeling.
"Okay," he managed to say, his voice tight. "I'm okay, Mom."
"Nathan was a better liar."
"Must have gotten that from you," he retorted, unable to suppress the anger that flowed through him as she reminded him of the one person he was trying to forget was gone. The next instant, though, he collected himself and sighed, regretting his words. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve that."
"Oh, sure, I do," she said calmly. "I deserve every ounce of your wrath."
"No, you don't. I just... want to put my fist through a wall right now," he confessed.
"No, you want to put a fist through Sylar," she corrected.
He didn't bother to deny it. "What do you want, Mom?"
What Angela wanted was to dissuade him from fighting Sylar, but Peter didn't want to hear it, and he didn't want to hear it from her. Her speech reminded him too much of how she had tried to talk him out of going after Sylar right after Thanksgiving, back when he could still hope that Nathan... And when she told him she couldn't bear to lose him too, he just couldn't find it in himself to completely believe her. After all, this was the woman who had lied to him about his brother's death for months, who had let him talk to and embrace Nathan's murderer.
He was distracted from his inner turmoil by Claire's arrival.
"Claire's here," he informed his mother, going over to hug his niece. Both mother and son knew that Peter was using the blonde girl's presence as an excuse to get away from Angela, and soon enough, Claire knew it too.
"You trying to escape?" she asked her uncle when he requested that she go with him to the kitchen.
"As quickly as possible," he assured her. He had not spoken with such honesty since he had delivered the eulogy earlier that day.