Blunt

by Editor-Behind-the-Scenes

She was direct and to the point. Gentle had never been her strong point.

She didn't know how to tell him. It would totally change everything. It would destroy his mom. It would destroy her mom. But, possibly worst of all, it might, no, she wouldn't kid herself, it would, destroy their relationship.

Abortion wasn't an option. It was too late for that. Neither was adoption. No, she wouldn't give up the baby. She had seen what had happened to her Aunt, with a bad social worker and a fight to see the kid afterwards that had developed into a huge custody battle. She wasn't gonna make that mistake; she would keep her baby. Even if it would ruin her life. No doubt about that. That, of all things, was a given.

One; she wouldn't be able to film iCarly for a while. She and Carly wouldn't be able to perform any of the stunts they were known for, what with her and a ginormous belly for nine whole months.

Two; her mom would kill her. After she let her go through with the whole nine months thing - there was no other word for it; thing - and the diapers and the two-o'clock feedings. She'd let her go through all the morning sickness and the fat ankles that her mom always complained about going through with her. No, after all that, that was when her mom would kill her.

And three; she and Freddie...well, this was pretty much the deal-breaker. They hadn't signed anything when they started going out, but she was pretty sure that having a baby wasn't on the agenda. At least, not before graduation. Oh shit, graduation. Another thing she could check off her list.

But that wasn't for another four months. She could worry about it later. Right now she had to tell him.

That's why he was sitting on a bean-bag in the studio in Carly's loft. She didn't know why but that's where they always hung out; they'd never go to her's or Freddie's. Actually, she did know why. Three letters, rhymes with bottom. Anyway, Freddie was sitting on one of the bean-bags in Carly's loft, watching her pace up and down the room.

"Sam, are you ok? You've been walking around in circles for, like, ten minutes. I can see the imprints of your shoes in the wood."

Sam sighed and looked at him sadly. She would miss his lame attempts at humour that were actually kind of funny when you thought about them. But you had to think hard; otherwise they still didn't make sense.

"I have something I need to tell you."

Freddie raised an eyebrow "Is this about the chicken in the fridge, 'cause it's ok; I know you had it for breakfast yesterday."

"It's not about the chicken Freddie!" She snapped, then when he started she amended, "It's not about the chicken; it's important."

Freddie grinned. God, she loved that grin. "Chicken; not important? Are you sick or something? When has food ever not been important?"

"Of course food is important, that's not what I meant," he was distracting her. With his stupid little adorable remarks. And with those cute eyes and his tousled hair. No, focus! Just spit it out.

"Freddie," she began, "I'm pregnant."

There it was. Out in the open. He could decide what to make of her revelation. She could see the shock in his eyes. Whatever he had been expecting it wasn't that. Shit. She couldn't do this. Sure, her life could be ruined, but not his. It wasn't fair. She couldn't do this to him.

"Oh." That was all he said. He wasn't watching her anymore, he wasn't looking at anything, he was just... confused.

God, she definitely couldn't do this to him. He had a chance at life, she had to let him go.

"It's ok, it's not yours." She said quickly, instantly regretting it, when he looked at her with that hurt expression. Being pregnant hadn't hurt him, but 'cheating on him' had etched pain onto his face as he realised what she meant.

"You mean, you – you –?"

"Yes, I – I slept with someone else," the lies were coming quickly and easy now, "It was a few weeks ago, you were away for the weekend, I didn't think anything would come from it. I'm sorry. You should -" this was hard to say and she gulped, "- You should probably go."

Freddie was frowning. He was still hurt, but he was angry now too. "Well, what about you? Who'll look after you and the baby? Is he – is he gonna be there for you?"

Sam bit her lip. God, she loved him. She had just, pretty much, broken up with him and he was still asking about her, worried about her, concerned for her. "It's ok Freddie, I'll be fine. Just you, you take care of yourself."

"You mean I can't still see you?"

Now he looked absolutely devastated. She had to go through with this; he'd thank her in twenty years. Sam was at a loss, though. Why would he want to see her, to be with her? Well, anyway, he couldn't; it didn't work that way. "I don't think that's such a good idea, Freddie," God, she had to leave, she had to get out of here.

"What do you mean it's not a good idea? I want to support you, even if the kid isn't mine. I love you Sam."

He was breaking down her resolve. Sam started heading for the door.

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be Freddie. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Well, you should have thought of that before you hooked up with someone else!" He was getting more and more angry now. That was good; it would be easier for him to go if he was mad. "Who was he anyway?"

"Look, can't you just drop it?" She was shouting too now. Trying to rile him up. "It happened, now get over it. This has to be it Freddie. I can't be with you when –"

"- When you love someone else," he interrupted. "Ok, I think I get it now; I'm not 'cool' -" he made quotation marks with his fingers "- enough for you, so you had to go find some more action. Well you definitely got it. I'm leaving!"

He was standing now, looking her square in the face, which was easier for him now that he had grown half a foot taller than her. His fists were clenched and it had been ages since Sam had seen him so furious. But she still screamed her answer at him. Even pregnant, she could take him.

"Good, go!"

"Fine, I will!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

And he left. He slammed the door behind him so hard that the glass shook in the frame.

Sam fell down on the bean bag he had been sitting on and cried hot, angry tears.

The next day Carly came over to her apartment to find her lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Carly rolled her eyes at her friend, who was tracing circles absently on her stomach. The radio was tuned onto a classical station, a sure sign that Sam was totally out of it. Which Carly was not having.

"Ok, what is going on? First Freddie, now you? Do you know something I don't know; did I miss the memo about 'Stare-up-into-Space Day?'"

"You were talking to Freddie?" Sam sat up, instantly alert.

Carly started righting the infernal mess that was Sam's room, picking up the desk lamp that had fallen on its side and stuffing the jellies packet into the over flowing trash can.

"Yeah, do you know what's up with him?" She shoved books and magazines onto the bookshelves haphazardly. "Did you have another fight? He said something about another 'cool' guy, but I didn't get the rest."

Sam, hesitated, but this was Carly; she could tell her the truth.

"He thinks I cheated on him."

Carly jumped up from the now upright stool she had been resting on, astonished. "You what?!"

"And that the guy got me pregnant," Sam continued as if Carly hadn't spoken.

"You're what?!" Carly was nearly yelling. "But, Sam, you love Freddie, you'd never cheat on him, why would he think that?"

Sam looked at her knees, which were drawn up to her chest. "Maybe 'cause that's what I told him?"

Carly, who had tentatively sat down, was on her feet again, knocking the stool over in the process. Sam wasn't surprised, Carly always found it easier to deal with news when she was standing. When she had found out about Sam and Freddie's relationship, Carly hadn't sat down for almost two hours. "Sam, you hooked up with another guy? And got -" she whispered "- pregnant? What were you thinking?!"

Sam looked imploringly at Carly. "I didn't cheat on Freddie."

Carly was baffled. "So what's the problem then?"

"I didn't cheat on Freddie. But I am pregnant."

Carly's eyes softened immediately and she sunk into the bed beside Sam. "Oh, Sam... I don't know what to say. Congratulations?"

Sam smiled bitterly and shook her head. Congratulations just didn't have the right sentiment. 'I'm sorry' sounded more appropriate.

Carly was still speaking; very fast, with an eyebrow raised. "Is it Freddie's? How far along are you? And, you guys are sexually active, when did that happen?"

"Um, I'm nearly two months. I think. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow; he'll be able to tell me for sure. And, yeah, of course it's Freddie's, what do you think?" Sam chose to ignore her friend's other question; Carly wouldn't be happy knowing that her friends had been sexually active for half a year now.

Sexually active. That made it sound dirty. What she and Freddie shared had been anything but dirty.

"This is crazy Sam. Are you going to keep it?"

"Yeah, I am."

Carly looked dumbfounded. "But, what about college? What about graduation? What about your future? -" here was the worst question "- What about Freddie?"

Sam looked imploringly at her best friend, begging her to understand. "Carly, he still has a future. I can't take that away from him, y'know? It's better for him."

"Yeah, but is it better for you?"

At this point, Sam didn't know.

It was a little boy. He was 9 pounds and she had cried when the doctor put him in her arms. He was bloody and screaming and they had wrapped him in a yellow blanket because all the blue ones were in the wash. But Sam didn't care, because he was beautiful even though he wouldn't keep still and couldn't open his eyes properly yet.

She was so glad she wouldn't have to give him up. He was too tiny, too amazing, too gorgeous to allow anyone else near him. Except her mom. Who had actually been pretty great about this whole thing. She had been understanding and supportive after the initial yelling reaction had stopped. And Carly, but that was a given.

Her mom and Carly and Spencer had all been brilliant. Spencer had even made a special diaper disposal unit for her, from old hangers. Sam still wasn't sure how he did it. Carly had explained to the iCarly viewers that the show would be taking a hiatus for a few months and had even taken the heat when some of the fans reacted badly. Sam hadn't spoken properly to Freddie yet. Carly said the he was doing his best not to show it, but she could tell he was worried about her.

Sam could tell it too. They had reverted back to their arguing "You suck" phase from back when they were thirteen. It was hard to go from spending all their time together to trading insults, but it was better this way. If he was angry, Freddie wouldn't have time to feel hurt. Unfortunately; it hurt, anyway.

But at the same time, she knew he still cared. If he didn't then that he wouldn't have gotten the peanut butter and the jar of cucumbers when she had that craving that one time. Granted he had slammed down the peanut butter, but he still got them for her. He was up out of his seat quicker than Carly and lightyears before Spencer.

And, then, when she had morning sickness and Carly and Spencer were out of earshot, Freddie had held her hair back without a word. Sam even thought she had seen some concern on his face in the mirror, but it was gone before she could look again to be sure.

But the main reason Sam could tell Freddie worried about her was the lilies in his hand where he stood in the doorway of her hospital room. He looked at her cuddling the baby close to her chest with an awkward expression on his face.

"Hey."

For a moment Sam thought she was going to cry. She was tired and emotional and the sound of his smooth voice was almost too hard to take. "Hey, yourself."

Freddie looked frozen for a second before he shook himself and put the flowers on her bedside table. "Carly called me. She said you had your baby. So where is he?"

Sam raised an eyebrow and glanced down at the tiny being wrapped in the yellow blanket resting in her arms. "Um, right here?"

Freddie sat down in the uncomfortable looking chair with a frown on his face. "No, I mean; where's the father? Carly still hasn't told me who it is." He sounded bitter.

Sam swallowed. She and Carly had discussed this moment a lot over the past seven months and they both felt that if there was ever a perfect time to tell Freddie who was the father it would be just after the birth. That was how it was done in all the movies and all the soap operas. A cliché becomes a cliché for a reason after all. But Freddie was talking again.

"You know what, nevermind. If he doesn't want to be here with you and his baby then he's a complete idiot," Sam couldn't help but snicker at his unknowingly incongruous comments, "Anyway Carly said the baby was a boy. What are you gonna call him?"

"Well, I was thinking Alexander. It goes well with his second name."

"Alexander? Alexander Pluckett?" he seemed to be rolling the name around his tongue, trying it out for size. "I'd never have chosen that, but okay it's your son."

Sam smiled down at the baby, before looking up at Freddie. "I'm not gonna call him Alexander, genius, he'll be Alex. And I think he should take his father's name."

Freddie had started to smile too, but at her last remark it had been wiped from his face, replaced with a grimace. "Sam, look, I came here because I -"

"Freddie, I need to tell you something first -" Sam interrupted, but Freddie cut her off.

"No, Sam, let me finish." He looked at her with so much feeling in his eyes that she immediately shut up. "Sam, I was angry, okay? When you said that you slept with someone else, I was angry. I still am a bit. Cause I love you Sam. And I want to be there for you and for Alex. I know it'll be hard, but I know that the father hasn't done anything for you. And, well, I'm better than nothing, right?"

Sam felt tears slide down her cheeks at the end of that speech. He was amazing. Too good for words. Too good for her, at any rate. But not too good for her baby. She had given Freddie a chance to get away, but he kept coming back. And now she'd never be able to let him go.

"Freddie, I have to tell you," he hung his head, ready for a rejection that she didn't plan on delivering. "Freddie? You're the father."

Bizarrely, the voice inside her head yelled "Surprise!" and burst some party poppers in Freddie's face.

Freddie's head shot up like it had been whipped up. He tried to speak a couple of times and his hand bunched into a fist. Sam thought that maybe she had been a little too direct; maybe she should have given him the news more gently. But 'gently' had never been her strong point, she thought, as Freddie rose from the uncomfortable chair and left the room, closing the door sharply behind him.

Shit, that wasn't good. The tears were flowing steadily now, and she held her baby closely. This was so messed up. Why couldn't this have happened in five years, when she would have at least lived a little and be a little more ready for a child. God, why did Freddie have to leave?

The door banged open and Freddie crossed the room in two long strides. He took her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. She started to return the kiss as the baby began to cry.

Freddie broke it and took his baby in his arms. His baby. His and Sam's baby. It felt good, no great, to say that.

"Don't ever, ever do anything like that again."

Their faces were split into grins so wide it was like they had been cut in half. The baby was still crying, but he was calming down a little in his father's strong, sure hold.

"Okay, I promise." Sam beamed and sat up a little straighter against the three pillows that Spencer had stolen from the beds in the other wards.

Freddie gazed at his child, and then glanced up at Sam. "And no way are you naming our kid Alexander. He'll kill us for it later."

Sam was still smiling with all her might. He would know all about embarrassing names; she had given him enough trouble over his. "What name were you thinking?"

"How about Daniel? Daniel's good."

She nodded "Daniel is good."

When Carly knocked on the glass door twenty minutes later, both Sam and Freddie were lying on the single bed with Baby Daniel sandwiched between them. Carly was taken aback by Freddie's presence, but smiled warmly at the couple. They always did look really well together.

"Hey, you guys. Is everything okay? How's the baby?"

Sam looked serenely at her friend while Freddie answered "Daniel's fine. Sam's fine. I'm fine. For the first time in a long time. We're all pretty awesome."