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I will be the one that's gonna find youI will be the one that's gonna guide youMy love isA burning, consuming fire
(Whispers In The Dark - Skillet)
I don't know how long I have stared out this window, a window with a seat. I can't remember the last time I have eaten or slept. Perhaps that is best, for if I began to remember, I fear my family would die of shock. They let me sit up in my room, they stopped visiting long ago. It's amazing I haven't died yet. I know I have become nothing but skin and bones, but I stopped caring. My body has become stiff from sitting in the same position so long. The only thing I see are his green eyes. I keep seeing him murdered right before my eyes. I tense as I taste the saltiness of my tears. For the first time in forever, I drag my eyes from the window and the view of the falling snow.
My walls are covered in painting of him, my bed covered in charcoal, and my desk covered in leather journals filled with pencil drawings. I take a ragged breath as I view his perfect face. I close my eyes as his image fills my mind. My body curls as his death rips thru my heart again. I never kissed him, I never held him, I never told him I loved him, I never got to thank him for saving me, because he died saving me. Maybe he sees how I mourn the loss of him, maybe he doesn't. I don't think he cares either way. Or he won't care either way. My mother yelled numerous times as she realized he hasn't died yet. I can't go to him either, because that will surely get him killed. So I mourn the loss of him, up here in my room.
I turn back to the window, my tears dried. I frown as I notice fresh footsteps in the snow. I tense as my door opens. I turn around and my father stands there with a strained expression on his face. "Dikeledi, you have a visitor."
"I'm not here." I rasp, my voice hoarse after so long with no talking. I watch as my father turns around, his deep voice echoing up the stairs to my room. I flinch as I realize someone else is coming, though they make no noise. I go to slam the door, but my body slams into the floor. I roll onto my back and find myself looking into a pair of sparkling green eyes. I flinch as he goes to help me up. I push his hands away and cross my arms. I stay on my spot on the floor.
"Hello," he says after a moment. His eyes leave mine and look around my room. His face fills with shock as he sees his face covering everything. He turns back to me and tried to pass me a glass of water. He sighs, sets me against the wall, and helps me drink.
"I don't need your help." I say, my voice back to it's soft and sarcastic self. They usually wouldn't go together, soft and sarcastic, but they suit me. He smirks and sits besides me.
"I'm Maverick." He says with a smile. He flips his perfect emo bangs. I stare at my boney hands.
"Dikeledi, but everyone calls me Ledi." I feel his eyes on me and I look up, and see he is in fact starring at me.
"Why are your walls covered in painting of me?" His eyes are filled with curiosity and accusation.
"I'm not stalking you, Maverick. You are all I see when I close my eyes. I can see your future in a way, though it's often more annoying then helpful. I have seen so many out-comes of your life. If you were to love me, if you were to love Felicity, or if you were to love Hannah. There were many others too. I have seen it all. You are never truly happy, but once. It got you killed. You should have let her die…" I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall.
"My friend told me to visit his little sister, to see why his little sister hasn't come to visit him. I guess I know why." He sighs. "What else have you seen? I want to know it all."
"That's dangerous, but perhaps it may help keep you alive." Oh, the pain of him loving another. "Felicity said she loves you, but you truly don't believe her. You catch her cheating on her with your best friend Greg. You spend the next 12 years alone. With Hannah, you have 2 adorable children, though Hannah realizes she doesn't want you anymore and leaves you for Nicholas. You were with Bethany once and you hated it. You dumped her and spent the next 6 years being a playboy and f-ed anything that moved."
"What about my life with you?" He asks with a smirk. "How bad does that end up? Who was I happy with?"
"It happened so fast, I was doing my best to avoid you when I bumped into you. You gave me that breath-taking smile and apologized. I blushed and muttered some crap. Your eyes lit up and you asked me to dinner. I couldn't say no. It was the perfect night, though it didn't end that way. You held my hand as you walked me home. You should have let me go alone…"
"I would never!" He says with a hiss.
"He came out of no where, I hadn't seen this far yet. I had only seen glimpses of your eyes. He held a knife in one hand and a gun in the other. He growled, 'Give me the girl, pretty boy, and you can go free!' You pushed me behind you, I screamed at you to not be a hero, I told you I could handle the man. You refused and you fought the man so long. He finally got the upper-hand and stabbed you in the heart." Tears are running down my face as I continue. "I broke the mans neck and rushed to your side. You smiled, kissed my hand, and your eyes went lifeless. I held you so long, I don't remember how long it was until someone found us, but I hadn't loosened my grip at all. The paramedics knocked me out and I awoke to find no one knew who I was or anything about you. I had woken up in my bed and realized I saw your life with me. I killed you." My anguished cries fill the room. I feel him move and I flinch away.
"Dikeledi, I don't think you killed me. Who was I happy with?" He asks again. His voice betrays him, he already knows.
"I don't know." I mumble. My eyes open and I stare out the window, the snow falling heavier now. I bite my lip as another vision clouds mind.
"Hello, my sweet!" Maverick smiles at me as I sit down besides him. He kisses my forehead and I curl to his side. He turns on the T.V. and wraps his arm around. I smile as he turns on Adventure Time. His black hair tickles my nose as I lean up and kiss him. His hands rest on my hips and I pull away to see him smiling. "You can't resent my charm." He teases.
I bite my lip harder to keep from crying. I look down as something drops into my lap. It's a leather book, but not one of mine. I look at Maverick and his eyes are sad. "I'm sorry for causing you grief." His eyes, which used to sparkle, now look at me filled with wisdom and age. I frown as tears run down my face. His long pale fingers brush the tears from under my eyes.
"It's not you." I reply, laying my hands flat against my stomach.
"My name is in fact Maverick, but that's all you know. I am immortal, cursed to roam the earth forever. I send visions to random people, just to see how they react." His eyes grow distant as he recalls the past. "I saw you sitting at Sweet Café, your long brown hair brushing the chair. You glanced at me with your dark grey eyes and filled me with an emotion I haven't felt since I was human. I immediately asked around to find out who you were. Dikeledi Nioble Childe. Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful creature. I wanted to hold you, but I was afraid of approaching you. You always seemed to be daydreaming and I wanted to be the one you daydreamed about. It was so selfish, but I filled your mind with images, hoping you would look for me. You didn't. I was confused, but them I realized you were saving me. I never felt so much pain from one person, but as you held me, I wept." He looks at me with tears running down his face. "I can't have you though."
"Why not?" I ask quietly.
"I would have to take away your mortality, make you like me. I could never do that to you." I feel my eyes grow heavy and he picks me up quickly. My family all gasps as they look at us. "Edith, please make Ledi something good to eat!" He says in frustration. I look at the steaming macaroni happily. I eat it quickly. I immediately regret it. I don't let it come back up though. My brothers Deacon and Damian watch me with smiles. I settle back into my chair and my eyelids drift close. For once, I don't see any images but my own and they are all involving the boy with the sparkling green eyes.
I curl tighter to the warm body next to me. I sigh in contentment as the arm tightens around. I shoot up and look at Maverick. My eyes widen in fear. "No, I'll get you killed!" I try to push him from my bed. He smiles a little and pulls me close.
He kisses my head as he whispers, "Remember, love." As if on cue all my memories from yesterday come flooding back. I gasp and meet his eyes. His hand cups my cheeks and he pushes his lips gently to mine. I smile at him as he pulls away. "I must be going." He stands and tugs on his shirt. I look at his outfit. Black skinny jeans, a black and dark red striped long sleeve shirt, and checkered Vans.
"Why?" I ask and he avoids my eyes.
"I told you why, Dikeledi, I refuse to take away your life."
"No!" I shriek. I sob as he turns toward my door. "Please, please, please, don't leave me! I just got you and I don't want you to leave me. I'd rather die then you leave me." I look up at him with my broken eyes. He refuses to look at me. I stand and block his view of the door.
"Dikeledi, please don't make this any harder. Please, love!" He stares at me with sorrow. I swing open the door, leaning on it heavily since my knees are still weak. I school my expression to cold indifference.
"I hate you." I whisper. I stare out my window as he brushes past me. He makes no noise as he walks straight out my house, but I see his dark head vanish into the wood. He doesn't look back once. I fall to my knees as sobs wrack my fragile body. I scream in agony as I feel my heart shatter. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I love him. I ignore the many people the hold me as I settle into blissful numbness.