For my dear friend, who inspired me to write this story. Thank you for putting up with my ridiculousness and numerous fandom rants. Still not sorry about converting you into a fan girl for three fandoms, including Supernatural, though ;)

Bright light blinded Dean as his hand clenched around the angel's, tightening his grip. He'd meant it when he said that they were all going to get out of Purgatory. No one was getting left behind, least of all Castiel.

"Dean!" Castiel shouted as his hand slipped from Dean's. The white light encompassed the screaming hunter for a brief moment before it was gone. Dean stood in the middle of a forest on Earth, tall trees and leafy canopies obscuring his view of his surroundings, almost exactly as Purgatory was, except there weren't hordes of monsters ruthlessly hunting them, the world wasn't gray and bleak, and he was alone.

One minute, Dean was trapped in the familiar memory-turned-nightmare and the next he was in a dingy motel bed, disoriented and breathing heavily as he re-familiarized himself with his surroundings.

"Dean? You okay?" Sam asked, his voice lacking the roughness of sleep.

"Yeah," Dean replied. His breathing slowed slightly, though he couldn't stop thinking about his nightmare, couldn't get the thought of Castiel trapped in Purgatory out of his mind. Why hadn't he been able to keep a tighter grip on Cas? If he'd just held on a moment longer, they wouldn't be separated. Well, not this drastically, at least. Dean still would've been able to communicate with his angel; now, he couldn't even do that much.

Sam cleared his throat. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?" Dean replied as he glanced at the widow. The image of the angel in question stared back at Dean, pitiful yet alive, soaked to the bone by the thunderstorm. Lightning highlighted Castiel's rugged features momentarily before plunging the angel into the darkness of night.

Sam sighed. "You've been having nightmares for weeks, and each time you're yelling for Castiel. What... What happened, Dean? What happened in Purgatory? Did Cas..." Sam trailed off as Dean left his bed and moved toward the window. Castiel vanished as Dean's hand touched the cool glass, the angel merely a product of his screwed-up mind. A never-ending reminder of yet another failure.

Dean felt Sam's gaze bore into him, compelling his elder brother to answer the question despite his reluctance to comply.

"Is Cas okay?"

"I don't know," Dean replied. His voice shook and his eyes stung, but he suppressed the urge. He refused to cry in front of his brother. "I don't know. I tried to get him out, tried to get us all out, but I failed. Benny and I searched for a year for Cas so we could all escape, but when push came to shove, I wasn't strong enough."

Dean heard Sam leave the bed and walk up behind him. Once the words were out, more kept coming, bursting from Dean's lips unwillingly. "And I keep seein' him everywhere, but it's impossible, right? Because he's stuck in Purgatory, because I couldn't get him out."

"You just gotta get over it, Dean," Sam said when Dean fell silent. "Obsessing over the past won't change it. It'll just make things worse."

"I know," Dean replied. "I need some air."

Sam sighed and returned to his bed. Dean scurried out of the constricting motel room, exhaling as he closed the door gently behind him and made his way to his car.

Once Dean was inside his Impala, he dialed Benny's number.

"What can I do for you, brother?"

"Was it really impossible for Cas to escape Purgatory?"

"It was never impossible; if anything, it would be easier for him. Angels are creatures of heaven, and Purgatory ain't meant for holy creatures. It wouldn't have been as easy for him to leave as you, since you're human and the portals are specifically for humans, but it wouldn't have been much more challenging than getting you out," Benny drawled.

"Thanks, Benny," Dean replied.

"Before you go, Dean, you should probably stop by Bobby's place. I thought I saw something rooting around the place, but I couldn't get very close to properly check it out."

"Thanks, Benny," Dean repeated.

"No problem, brother."

Dean hung up and sighed, resting his head against the headrest. Anger and exhaustion swelled within the hunter, thoughts of Bobby and Castiel overwhelming his mind. He didn't want to deal with either of them at the moment, yet he also wanted nothing more than to see them again, properly. To hear Bobby's gruff voice and see Castiel tilt his head in confusion at something the hunter said.

He didn't want to return to Bobby's home, a place filled with memories of both men, but honor and anger demanded that he visit. Nothing was going to defile their home of sorts without getting an ass kicking from Dean Winchester.

Three hours later found the Winchester brothers on the road, Dean behind the wheel of his Impala and Sam fast asleep in the passenger's seat.

Dean had showered for an hour after returning to their room, standing under the hot water in silence as he pushed thoughts of Castiel and Purgatory to the back of his mind. When he'd exited the steaming room, neither brother brought up the nightmare or the angel again. Conversation had awkwardly began, though it carefully avoided previous topics. They'd merely decided to leave after Sam showered. Dean had explained Benny's call, suggesting that they visit Bobby's place immediately, and his younger brother had agreed.

Neither of them were particularly eager to return to the house, though they weren't going to refuse merely out of discomfort. Sure the memories were painful, but Dean had dealt with, and was currently dealing with, worse, and besides, it would feel good to kick some ass. Maybe afterwards, they could rest in an actual home rather than a cheap motel. Dean missed the days where they stayed with Bobby, living and researching with their father-figure, only leaving for hunts and to stock up on the necessities. He missed the brief period of time where they didn't have to be on the road constantly.

It would be their first time properly visiting the house since Bobby had died and his ghost was released. Perhaps they could make it their home; Dean didn't think Bobby would mind if they did that, so long as no major renovations were made.

As if Dean would consider that.

A figure moved in the trees lining the empty two-lane road, drawing Dean's mind from thoughts of Bobby's home. The Impala sped by the man, but Dean had seen him as clearly as he saw Sam beside him. It had been Castiel walking through the forest, clothed in the grimy clothes he'd worn in Purgatory. His face was bearded and eyes exhausted as they met Dean's through the windshield.

It couldn't be...

No. It wasn't. Dean chided himself for nearly falling for his hallucinations yet again.

The image vanished, and Dean returned his attention to the road ahead.

The silence quickly grew uncomfortable as thoughts he'd pushed away and done his best to eradicate rebelliously resurfaced in the chaotic waters of his mind. Damning the consequences of waking his younger brother, Dean turned on his music, blasting it at full volume as he sped down the road.

Sam jerked awake with a curse, but other than that, he remained blessedly silent.

Dean tapped the wheel to the Bon Jovi song currently eradicating the previous silence. Memories of Sam belting the lyrics at the top of his lungs occupied Dean's mind, and he welcomed them. The left side of his mouth twisted into a grin, his nostalgic joy manifested though hidden from Sam's eyes. His brother's lips twitched as he recognized the song immediately.

Castiel's Purgatory-corrupted figure emerged from the side of the road once more, involuntarily snagging Dean's attention. His head turned toward the angel, despite being fully aware of the image existing merely in his mind, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam glance at the very spot the angel occupied. The younger Winchester's attention rested on Castiel for barely a second, confirming Cas' nonexistence.

Disappointment flooded Dean. There had been a sliver of his mind that had hoped he was wrong, and, even though he wasn't aware of its existence until it was crushed, the pain was excruciating.

Dean thought he heard Sam mutter something; however, when he listened carefully to his younger brother's voice, he was further surprised to find that Sam was humming along to the music.

The elder hunter pushed all thoughts aside and focused entirely on the road and his brother's voice, drawing comfort from his brother's presence.

Their relationship might've been strained, but at least Sam was alive and by Dean's side.

As Dean pulled onto the familiar property, memories swarmed his mind. It was painful to stand where Bobby had once stood, to visit the home without seeing Bobby or hearing his gruff voice calling out for the 'idjits' to carry out a random task or do some digging, either of the metaphorical or literal sort.

Dean parked the car and hesitated, Sam waiting patiently for his brother. After a moment of silence and bated breath, Dean stepped out of the Impala. He closed the door gently behind him, Sam mirroring his movements.

The elder hunter heard a familiar rustling, and he inclined his head toward the sound. He caught a quick flash of a familiar tan coat darting toward the house.

A flash of shame flickered in Dean, and he suffocated it without a second thought. It was annoying to continue hallucinating about Castiel, but he didn't know how to stop. He'd never been so caught up over anyone but Sam before, and it frightened him.

Then again, Dean really shouldn't have been surprised that the angel could drive him crazy despite their separation. He had grown used to Castiel eliciting discomfort.

He didn't mind; the angel's quirkiness was hardly a problem to Dean. It was entertaining and intriguing, a rarity to find innocence in one so old. It shouldn't have been surprising, his innocence due to his existence as a celestial being; however, the angelic brothers and sisters Dean had met were far from innocent.

Uriel was a two-faced bag of dicks; Raphael was a control-freak. Neither of them seemed the sort to possess innocence. Anna certainly hadn't been innocent, and the thought of Gabriel being innocent was impossible to imagine. Zachariah was a mountain of dicks, Lucifer a sadistic douchebag, but Castiel?

Castiel was, in Dean's mind, the epitome of innocence. When the hunter thought of the angel in such a light, he didn't think of the fights he'd experienced with the angel, the things he'd done, good and bad, or even the angel's status as a being of Heaven.

When Dean thought of Castiel and innocence, he thought of failed brothel visits, pizza men and hamburgers, crappy interrogation skills, "rusty" "people skills" in general, and of faith and loyalty. Castiel always had good intentions, despite his mistakes.

It was funny how death and absence both slid rose-colored glasses over situations. All Dean could do in that moment was stand and stare at the place where he'd thought he saw Castiel's coat, mind overwhelmed with positive thoughts of the angel.

Sam had moved past his brother and into the house. Dean shook his head and strode up to the house, pausing at the doorway.

"What're we doin' today, Bobby?" Dean asked as he stood beside the door, eyes fixed on the older man.

Bobby held a strange mitt in one hand and a ball in another, items Dean had seen on TV or in passing, but never like this.

"We're going out for a little while," Bobby patiently replied as he walked up to the boy.

"What about Sammy?"

"He'll be fine; he's just sleepin'. Come on, boy, let's go."

"Okay," Dean replied with a smile as he ran outside.

It was the first and last time he'd played catch with Bobby, but it was one of his favorite childhood memories. Dean pushed the memory away and pressed forward, focusing on the possible intruder.

As he stepped into the home, nostalgia overwhelmed the hunter, despite his efforts to ignore it. Inconsequential moments previously forgotten reemerged; previous hunts and quiet nights alike arose in Dean's mind, filling the rooms with life as every object seemed to hold significance to the past. Shaking his head, he examined the living room carefully. Nothing seemed to have been displaced, nor were there signs of being an intruder. Perhaps Benny had-

A loud thud echoed through the house, followed by a surprised grunt, and Dean sprang into action.

"Sammy!" The elder brother barked as he ran toward the sound. Flinging open the kitchen door, he found his younger brother frozen in surprise, a book on the floor beside his feet.

The object of Sam's bewilderment stepped forward, and Dean clenched his jaw to keep it from dropping.

Castiel stood in the center of the kitchen with a weary grin, his eyes resting heavily on Dean, his brother disregarded almost entirely. For a moment, the elder Winchester believed himself to be hallucinating, but one look at his brother confirmed the angel's existence.

Sam stood frozen, clearly distracted by his conflicting thoughts, the urge of a friend to confirm Castiel's existence through words or action, and the urge of a hunter to assess the situation, to test whether Castiel was truly the angel they knew and cared about.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Dean wasn't stunted by his confliction. He strode forward, channeling his conflicted emotions into determined professionalism. He splashed holy water on Castiel and carried out numerous tests on the intruder. Dean refused to welcome Castiel properly without complete assurance that he was dealing with the Cas he knew. Avoiding meeting familiar deep-blue eyes, Dean focused on anything but Castel's face.

Sam stayed behind Dean, and Cas underwent Dean's testing without protest. It was soon confirmed that this was indeed Castiel standing in Bobby's kitchen, though Dean froze in horror when, after running a silver blade across Castiel's arm, the creature under evaluation flinched.

It wasn't a severe reaction, not one that indicated his being a monster, but it sent shivers dancing down Dean's spine nonetheless. An angel wouldn't have reacted at all to such a miniscule injury.

An idea came to mind, an answer to the unasked question that pained Dean. Forcing himself to meet Castiel's eyes, Dean watched carefully as he dug his fingernails into his arm. The cerulean eyes widened in discomfort and shame, confirming Dean's theory.

"You're human," Dean murmured as he released the former angel from his grasp.

Castiel nodded slowly, unsurprised by the startling confusion. As Dean registered this, he noticed the clothes Castiel wore, unfamiliar, ordinary jeans and a hoodie, unblemished save for Dean's tests. Clothes that definitely weren't from Bobby's house.

Anger swelled within Dean. "How long have you been out of Purgatory, Cas?" He snarled as he backed away from the former angel.

"Dean..."

"How long, Castiel?" Sam interjected as he moved to stand beside Dean.

"Two weeks," Castiel muttered as his gaze fell to the floor. "I appeared in the middle of nowhere, and I thought this would be the best place to come."

"Why didn't you just-" Dean's question was interrupted by a low rumble. Castiel sighed and glared at the ground, and the rumbling broke through the awkward silence once again. It startled the hunter slightly as he identified the sound as the former angel's stomach growling.

"Hungry?" Sam asked, and Castiel nodded. "I'll go get us something to eat," the younger Winchester continued as he opened his hand. Dean dropped his keys on the outstretched palm.

"Hey, could you grab us burgers from that one place we went to that one time? The one with the awesome fries?"

Muttering a snide comment about Dean's choice in food, Sam left the two alone in the house. An awkward silence settled over the two, interrupted only by the sound of the Impala's engine as it started and faded away, the comforting rumbling lowering as the distance between his Baby and the house grew.

Dean shuffled awkwardly and coughed, words escaping him as he stared at the now-human Cas. Anger and confusion dominated his thoughts, robbing him of the ability to properly understand the situation.

"So, uh, two weeks, huh?" Dean asked after an awkward pause. "Do you remember where you landed?"

Castiel shook his head. "I only paid attention to where I was when it applied to getting back here. I thought that once I arrived here, things would get easier. I didn't expect to see you guys so soon, though."

"You didn't want to meet us yet, did you?" Castiel fell silent, answering Dean's question wordlessly. Dean's stomach dropped; he hadn't anticipated Castiel not wanting to see them, but it made sense, didn't it?

Why would the angel want to see the person who couldn't rescue him from Purgatory, who, after promising over and over again that the three of them would escape together, abandoned him?

"I didn't want to burden you," Castiel explained, finally meeting Dean's eyes. "A fallen angel would do more harm than good."

"You're not a burden, Cas; you were never a burden!"

"Oh really?" Castiel snapped. "If I was never a burden, then why did you call me a 'baby in a trench coat' the last time I couldn't access my powers? Then, I was merely shut off from them. My powers aren't blocked, Dean; they're gone."

"When you've got a problem, you come to us, got it? Regardless of what it is or what has happened in the past. We're your family, and we'll help you through this," Dean replied, stepping forward.

"It's permanent, Dean. The Leviathan stripped me of my grace and abandoned me; I can't go back to being an angel, not properly. Not without stealing another's grace, and that isn't a permanent cure."

"Then we'll just have to show you how to be human," Dean replied.

Castiel's defensive posture sagged slightly, his eyes widening in surprise. "You're going to teach me how to be human?"

"I don't see why not; we're not all that bad. Believe it or not, there are perks to being human."

Castiel grinned, happiness like nothing Dean had ever seen him express before shining from his eyes. It took Dean by surprise to see the former angel so emotional, but he supposed he'd have to get used to it. Dean and Sam were used to suppressing, or at least controlling their emotions; Castiel wasn't, not like this, not as a human.

Dean found it difficult to return the grin, though his inner turmoil appeared to be well camouflaged, as Castiel's happiness didn't falter.

It didn't make sense to Dean, why the Leviathan had stripped Castiel of his grace, nor did he understand why Castiel was so open with him. After everything, after Dean failed him like he failed everyone he ever cared about, how could Cas just stand there, smiling at Dean like he'd just given him the greatest Christmas present?

Castiel's smile faltered. "What's wrong, Dean?"

"Nothing, Cas," Dean lied. Annoyance laced with a strange sense of pride shot through the hunter in response to the realization. It was strangely reassuring that the former angel was still so in-tune with his charge despite the drastic changes both of them had experienced.

Castiel frowned and opened his mouth, ready no doubt to call Dean out on his lie, when Sam barged into the house.

The younger Winchester flashed a quick, somewhat smug, grin at the two and set the plastic bag on the table, amused by their close proximity. He sat and began to remove his food from the bag, raising his eyebrows at the two men when they continued to stand and stare at each other as though Sam hadn't entered the room.

"Are you two just going to stand there staring at each other, or are you going to eat the greasy sludge you requested, Dean?"

"Did you get me pie?" Dean asked as he sat at the table, Castiel close behind. The hunter pulled out the remaining food, Sam already digging into his girly salad, and was pleased to find that, accompanying three burgers, was a big slice of apple pie.

"Rule number one, Cas," Dean said as he opened the box containing the pie. "Pie is the best food you will ever taste in your entire life."