The Wedding Ring
"They didn't love each other, so did they even love me?"
Hakkai thought only to himself. Pestering the others was a waste of time. He need only to focus on driving.
"The road…."
"The road….."
BUMP
"Just the road….."
Thoughts, thoughts, and only thoughts. This bugged him very much. So much to the point he was itching to talk to anyone.
"So, who's up for a little conversation?" He smiled as they hit a patch of mud in the path.
He was followed up with a grunt from Sanzo and snore from Goku.
"Sure." Gojyo lit a cigarette. "Whatever shall we talk about?" He took a deep breath and puffed smoke into the air.
"How about how bad that thing you're puffing on is?" Hakkai chuckled and Gojyo snorted, tossing it out of the jeep.
"Okay, problem solved. What now?" Gojyo leaned forward and stared out the front windshield.
"I seem to be at a loss for words." Hakkai chuckled and an awkward silence fell over the car.
He heard Gojyo smack his packet of 'death sticks' against his flat palm several times and the flick of the lighter.
Hakkai sighed.
"Memories are flooding me again…"
"Hakkai? You okay, man?" Gojyo was tapping his shoulder as Hakkai jumped a little.
"Fine. I'm fine." Hakkai barley showed a grin and rubbed his forehead.
"Nah, man, you're stressed. I can tell." Gojyo nicked the butt of his cigarette and tossed it off to the side, "What's up?" He sat back quietly, expecting Hakkai to speak.
"Don't tell him! DON'T TELL HIM!"
A sigh escaped his barely parted lips. The sun burned heavily on his exposed back as he hunched over, taking his eyes off the road.
"Always keep your eyes on the road. Forward! Look forward! The past is behind you. Never look back there AGAIN!"
"Hakkai?" He heard Gojyo's voice fade away slowly and his eyes drifted closed.
"Finally, it's quiet…"
"HAKKAI?" Gojyo's scream was now a faint whisper. "HAKKAI! WATCH THE ROAD!" And all was silent.
Drip……..
Drip……….
Drip……………
Footsteps….I hear them….
A mere chuckle…..Who's here?
"Where's here?" Hakkai heard a faint voice.
He sat up quickly. Footsteps were all around him. The point from which they came still remained unknown.
"Here is there. There is still unknown. There may be here. They could be there. Here they could come. Or they could be going there." The voice returned again. More footsteps.
"A state of dementia. This is only a dream. I have fainted. Only a dementia." Hakkai sat and calculated this strange situation.
"And what, my stranger, is a dream to begin with? A state of mind? Another universe? A compilation of things to come? Or is it, by chance, a mere illusion of the mind to entertain, corrupt, and terrify?" the voice was closer. From every side of the blackness it echoed and bounced, coming right back at Hakkai.
"What do you want?" Hakkai whispered.
"What is want? Is it desire, compassion, hatred, boredom? Or, is it need? A 'must-have'? A necessity for one to continue?" The footsteps continued. Hakkai glanced around.
"Why are you doing this?" He sat as still as possible when the footsteps stopped.
A Light.
A Silhouette.
The Figure of a man, tall, thin, graceful.
Terrifying.
"Why does anyone do anything? Must One be doing anything all the time? Or, can One be doing anything, and yet, nothing at all? Why, Cho Gonou, do you do anything at all?" The face taunted.
Silence.
"If you did nothing no one would get hurt. Come, friend, wipe that look off your face. I shall not hurt you. For then, in part, I would only hurt myself." The figure walked again, closer to Hakkai's trembling body.
A hand extended. Waited.
Hakkai look up at the face.
"Will this end soon? Must I look at you much longer?" He turned his head downward.
"To leave this place, One must only take my hand." The figure smiled.
"You're even worse than a mirror." Hakkai gazed upon the slim face, the long brown hair, the thin glasses, the crisp, white lab coat. "I hate you." He snarled.
"I know that. But, this is where I was buried so many years ago. You were to face me sooner than later." The man was Cho Gonou. "Now, again I say, One must only take my hand to depart from this desolate and strange form of death." The man watched as Hakkai stared at the open palm.
"You're lifeline. It's short." Hakkai's fingers twitched as he reached for the hand.
"I am dead." Gonou smiled as their hands touched and Hakkai was gone in a flash of light.
The only sound around them was the chopping sound of the fan placed on the ceiling.
"You were there, Gojyo. What happened to him?" Goku paced in front of the door of the room were Hakkai was being tended to.
"Like I said, I think he just passed out. He was fine one minute, and then the next his head's on the steering wheel and I can't get him up." Gojyo rubbed his eyes tensely.
"Maybe the heat got the best from him?" Goku finally sat against the wall and sighed, his shoulders slumping.
"Are you sure nothing was wrong with him?" Sanzo spoke for the first time.
"Yep. Although he did keep getting really quite and acting like he was thinking deeply on some important matter. He was acting a little strange, but nothing of the sickness sort." Gojyo rested his head on his knees.
"He entered a mental paralysis. He was sucked into his unconscious state of mind." Sanzo lit a cigarette.
"Huh?" Goku tilted his head.
"As of right now, Hakkai is battling his own soul. He's reliving his past and trying to fight it. You better hope he wins or we won't see him ever again." Sanzo took a deep puff of smoke and blew it up into the air.
A dark, desolate scenery. He clenched his fists and mud squished between his fingers.
He knew this place.
He knew this place.
Rain poured to the street, onto the roof of the house before him, fed the pathetic garden where all flowers wilted and weeds thrived.
He could hear screaming. Crashing.
He stood and dropped the mud from his hands. He looked at his small feet and then his tiny palms. He wiggled his fingers and some more mud came off. He was a child. The young Cho Gonou. The one, who was abandoned, left alone, the boy who was forsaken to die.
He walked to the door in shock. He didn't like the color of the sky, the clouds, and the houses around him, the ground, or anything outside at all. It was always grey.
His hand touched the cold doorknob. He turned it slowly until the door creaked open enough so he could see into the terribly gloomy house. There was a plain, boring, grey hallway.
No commotion.
He took one step inside. The boards beneath him made a dreadful noise and he walked down the hallway.
He stopped. His body tensed. He felt the air change. A dark feeling smothered little Gonou. He could always sense this feeling right before his mother went into a sickly rage. Whenever those happened his father yelled at Gonou to leave the house and not to come back that night.
He knew his father was only trying to protect him.
A scream echoed through the doorway he was standing next to. He dare not move, for chance of being spotted.
A jewelry box flew out the door and smashed against the hallway wall. With a thundering crash, all the jewelry flew in different directions and several items broke into many pieces.
"Settle Down!" He heard his father's voice. His father spoke calmly to the woman who was insanely screaming. His dad rarely ever yelled. He told Gonou a while back it was a form of respect toward his wife. He never hit her or yelled at her. It was against a secret code his father told him. This code was called marriage. Gonou thought it such a silly name for a secret code.
"DEVIL!" His mother screamed. Gonou peeked his head around the corner of the door. His mother's ludicrous screams continued. "DEVIL CHILD!" She screamed so shrilly Gonou had to cover his ears temporarily.
He gasped and pulled his head back around the corner, panting in fear. It was too late. She'd seen him. He plastered his back to the wall and waited. He now heard commotion.
"Settle down! He's done nothing to you! Look at me! Look at me!" His father said calmly. He heard chairs being thrown in different directions and things being tossed about as she struggled to get to the door.
"DO YOU SEE! DO YOU SEE HOW THE DEVIL CHILD STARES AT ME? HIS EYES! THOSE EYES! THEY TAUNT ME AND SPEAK! SPEAK OF MY DEATH! HE IS TRYING TO KILL ME! KILL ME!" She screamed and he peeked around the door again.
What he saw shocked him to the bowls of his stomach. His eyes jumped from his father to his mother. He had never imagined this happening. Not ever. He gasped and a cold sweat started on the back of his pale neck.
"Are you MAD woman?" His father had grabbed hold of his mother's wrists and was shouting at her. "This 'devil child' you speak of is your own son, who came from your own womb. I will not allow you to say such treacherous things about your own flesh and blood!" His father was now yelling at her severely.
She only stared at him and her arms grew weak.
Three Words.
She only spoke three words.
Three dreadful words.
"You're with him…"
They all huddled around Hakkai's bed.
With every breath they thought he might wake.
Maybe this time he'll wake…
"So," Goku mumbled, "What are we gonna do? We can't leave him."
"If you leave, expect to have me stay right here." Gojyo pointed to the floor where his chair rested.
"I'm not going to leave." Sanzo sighed. He put down his newspaper and stood, looming over Hakkai's body. "Whatever he's doing in there, he does not particularly like it. Especially not now." Sanzo pointed to Hakkai and both Gojyo and Goku looked as Hakkai's face distorted and his brows furrowed.
"How are we gonna help?" Goku peered up innocently at Sanzo, questioning in his eyes.
"We can't." Gojyo closed his eyes and looked to the ceiling, holding his head.
"Hakkai has to do this himself. There's no way we can reach him." Sanzo sat back down and crossed his arms.
There was silence.
"Listen Hakkai." Sanzo started after a period of time.
"Everyone has a past. But, that doesn't mean that everyone's is good…"
"Listen Hakkai….everyone has a past. But, that doesn't mean that everyone's is good…"
Gonou gasped.
"San..zo?" He didn't understand.
Sanzo?
"It can't be. I don't even know Sanzo yet." He was extremely puzzled. "How could I have heard…?" He was cut off by an unbearable screech.
"YOU'RE WITH HIM! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! HOW COULD YOU! YOU PLANNED THIS! FROM THE BEGINING THIS WAS PLANNED!" His mother was squirming in Gonou's father's grip.
"What!" His father released her and she immediately jumped onto his back and started scratching his face and clawing at his skin. She would seize some of his hair and try to wrench in out, and his father would wince. He tried pushing her away, but she was holding tight, her legs wrapped around his torso.
"I…I remember this…no…make it stop…" Gonou put his hands to his face, his eyes peering at the scene from between several parted fingers. As his mother tore at his father, Gonou's body started shaking and tears came to his eyes. "MAKE IT STOP!" He screamed and tears suddenly flooded down his cheeks. He softly fell to his knees and his hands gripped at the cold, wood floor.
His mother stopped and stared blankly at Gonou. His father peered from between his arms, which he had up to deflect his mother's blows, his eyes wide.
"G…Gonou…" His mother barely moved her lips.
"Gonou! Get out of here!" His father ran for the door Gonou was sitting in.
"F…father?" Gonou just stared as his dad ran toward him, his arms out to slam the door.
This never happened in his OTHER memories. His other memories of this place never saw this. Why was he now? Was this….did this mean...?
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!
The sound of something edging between things. A soft squish and a small gasp for any air.
A slow glace upward.
Small, tiny splotches stained Gonou's smooth, soft skin.
He looked up and he became extremely nauseous. His father's expression was that of pain and a smile was streaked across his face. His eyes resonated and droplets of blood spattered on the floor.
He coughed weakly.
"G…Gonou…" His father spoke meekly.
"D…DAD!" Gonou screamed, which came out more as a whisper. His breath left him. Words never came. His eyes were wide and tears fell to the floor, coating the drops of blood coming from his father.
"I'm sorry…I'm just…uhn…" his father winced and fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around Gonou's small head. "I…I'm just so happy that I…" he winced again, "was…able to protect you…Gonou…my Gonou…" Tears fell on Gonou's soft, brown hair.
"D…dad…" he felt tears brim his eyes.
"Go…ru…RUN!" His father shouted in a burst of energy. His last.
"Ah…AH…" Gonou hesitated. He then quickly jumped to his feet and stared in horror at his mother, who loomed over his father, her face twisted in a sick, insane smile.
She pulled her arms up, but something was stuck. Her face twisted into something of an angry frown.
His father's face became distorted. He grunted softly and put his hand to his chest.
He coughed and there was more bloodshed.
More.
Gonou couldn't take it. He peered even farther over his dad's shoulder and saw gushing blood flowing out of an open wound where a knife was wedged so far into his father's back that the first pull barely made it budge.
His father gagged on his own innards and screamed at Gonou now.
"GET OUT!" He cried in pain and held his abdomen.
Gonou screamed. That's all he could do.
He felt his father's firm hands grab his shoulders. He was suddenly thrown toward the front door with such a great force that he fell to the floor.
When he turned and looked up, he saw his father fall from his knees and hit the ground. Gonou screamed out to him.
His mother held a knife, drenched in liquid, standing over his father's body. She slowly looked up, a black shadow covering half of her face.
He heard a distant, loud thunder. The patter of rain. He stood in shock before he heard a footstep. Soon after the first, followed more. He saw his hands start to shake. He looked up to see his mom looming over him. She saw her eyes and the madman look that resided in them.
He was scared.
Terrified even.
She bent to his level and grabbed his chin, lifting it up into the light so she could get a good look at him.
"You…look to much like…your father…." She mumbled and Gonou saw the gleam of the knife in the light.
He had to run now.
He glanced to the door and saw that he had left it open, but only a crack.
He heard his mother laugh and he saw her raise her knife.
Gojyo tapped his foot nervously. He sighed loudly and Sanzo grabbed his arm roughly.
"Stop doing that." Sanzo growled deep in his throat. He was clearly annoyed by Gojyo's constant noise and movement.
"I can't help it! All this silence makes me nervous." He folded his arms and looked around the room.
Goku was sitting on the floor, staring at Hakkai. He hardly ever blinked, let alone moved.
Gojyo sighed again.
That was what was worrying him.
Goku hadn't moved from that spot for two hours. He never even complained about being hungry.
"Hakkai better get outta this…whatcha-macallit." He snorted and stretched his legs out.
He sighed again.
He had to act now.
He reached up and he felt himself touch his mother's shoulders. He new exactly what he had to do.
In a split second he shoved with all his physical might and dashed for the door. He could see it come closer and closer with each step.
As he reached the door, he felt a gust of wind from behind and heard a whistling noise.
He also heard a soft thud.
He turned with wide eyes just slightly to the left and saw the knife gleaming, reflecting his own terrified face back to him. He turned more and saw his mother stagger and her knees buckle.
He stood there in awe. A quite rolling noise caught his attention and he saw an empty bottle of pills roll to a halt.
She had overdosed again. He then noticed that her back was perfectly still.
Dead.
He sighed.
"Safe…" he mumbled.
The door creaked as he opened it.
No more rain. The sun shown down brightly and made the houses colorful and bright.
Gonou smiled.
"I like this version better…" He laughed and stepped off the front porch.
Everything around him dissolved into white.
The lights were terribly bright. It made him wince when he blinked and saw the light shine into his eyes.
He ached on every part of his body. He felt his fingers flinch and eventually could move his shoulders slightly.
He felt almost like he had a hangover. Or, at least, what he thought a hangover was like. He'd never been drunk before.
Goku screeched and jumped to his feet.
"Hakkai?" Gojyo stood immediately and ran over to the bed. Goku was jumping up and down happily.
"Hey guys…" Hakkai smiled and struggled while sitting up.
He looked at Sanzo, who patiently folded his newspaper and took off his reading glasses, set down both and stared back.
"Good of you to rejoin us." He walked to a counter and grabbed a fresh mug of coffee.
"HAKKAI! YOU WERE ALSEEP FOREVER!" Goku yelled and heard his stomach growl.
"Talk about time consuming, man!" Gojyo laughed and nudged Hakkai playfully.
"Heh…Sorry guys…" Hakkai smiled and rubbed his head.
"So…" Sanzo sipped his coffee, "how are you?" He set his coffee down on the counter and looked Hakkai right in the eye.
"Actually…" Hakkai smiled, closing his eyes, "I have something I need to tell you guys…" He looked around the room at the faces of his friends, who all were more than willing to listen.
FIN