"It's cold"
A boy said, breathing out a white sigh and put his both hands in his black jacket.
"Yeah"
A girl answered, calmly, using her right hand to pull her pink scarf closer to her face.
"It's Chrismast after all"
They said, at the same time, just to surprised at each other. That boy smiled at her while that girl giggling a little. It was small, almost could not be heard.
''Don't you think wearing skirt in this weather will catch you a cold?''
He had asked her this question when he first saw her when he got to her school. She had answered that even there were Chrismast, Tokiwadai's rules was still strict. But no matter what they said, there was snow and only those who was mad would come out with no jacket or whatsoever in this weather. So she wore a expensive-looking duffle coat over her uniform. It certainly kept her warmth just by looking.
After that, none of them spoke a word, just continued on walking, side by side. People could see a boy, probably a high school student with black spiky hair and a girl with proper face, having a short hazel hair slowly made their way to a certain place.
THey still kept on walking. There was a silence until the boy said to her. It was like he had waited just to say at the right moment.
"This place... holds memories''
He was Kamijou Touma.
He was Academy City's level 0, a normal highschool student.
However, his right hand was special. It called 'Imagine Breaker', had the ability to negate both power of esper and magic.
I'm not going to fight you
''I know'',
She was Misaka Mikoto.
She had the power to control electricity. They called people like her 'electromaster'.
There are only 7 level 5s in Academy City and she was place the third among of them, nicknamed 'Railgun'.
The girl answered shortly. She let her gaze low like she was finding something missing on the dark asphalt layer under her shoes.
Where they were going was a certain Iron Bridge that spanned over a river.
For what Kamijou had said was true. This place indeed held memories. She didn't get on this iron bridge too often but when she did, Mikoto couldn't help but having that night playing inside her head like a video. She remembered when she was completely lost.
There is no other way for me. Even if you don't resist. If you are in my way, I will take you down
Few more step did they take.
Even so, I'm not going to
"Neh"
Don't joke with me. If you are going to fight,then put up your dukes
If you are not, then get out of my way
Don't trample all over my wishes with you half-hearted reasoning
"Thank you", the girl slowly tilled her head toward him.
Why?
I told you. I'm not going to fight you
Why? You know how crazy these experiments are, don't you? I'm going to stop it all. Why are you getting in my way?
"I was not the only one that wrong"
Right. They are wrong. But there is no reason for someone to get hurt by that
So I...
But the way you're handling it won't save you. That's why I'm not moving.
"I just was too exhausted to realize it back then"
What the hell are you saying... I don't deserve those word. Even if there were a world that everyone could live happily... Then, I don't have any place in that world
Do you really think your remaining sister will appreciate that? I know you understand. Your way... won't save anyone
Shut up... There'll be at least some form of peace if I die...There is no other choice for me
"Being stupid enough to think I could save my sisters by that way"
If one live can save the lives of ten thousand, isn't that a wonderful thing?
Wouldn't that be fine
So, please...
"But still you weren't better. You just stood there like a statue. I'm a walking electric armchair,I exploded like bomb and shooting out billion volt of electricity. Yet you still not moved. Where was that right hand of yours when you really need it to save your own life?", she hit him on the head. It was a hard one, she ignored his groan and only gave him another one when he started grinning like an idiot.
Instead of fighting back, he had risen his hand like a sign of defeat. He couldn't fight her. He didn't want to fight her. That's why he stood still, hoping that his words could reach her, no matter how she had resisted it.
You really are stupid
Came back to her gentle tone, she continued: "Nonetheless, you made that promise. To me, somehow it was unexpected and not needed. You didn't have anything to do with those experiments. By getting your money eaten by a vending machine, carrying bunch of cans, you, just stepped in like that"
"This has nothing to do with you... Just close your eyes and pretend like you never saw anything... You could still go back to your ordinary life... Why would you let yourself be beat up like this? Your heart might have stopped for a moment too?", the girl said, stopped walking. The boy seemed to be surprised at this. They now stood opposite to each other. He soon curve his lips to a smile. Kamijou remembered that line. Even if he wanted to forget, he couldn't. How could he forget the words that came from a poor girl with such a heavy burden on her shoulder looking down at him while crying? Not the third strongest level 5, not a strong, selfish and tomboyish girl loved to give a poor vending machine a kick on its side to get free juice, not an ojou-sama coming from such a prestigious school that could easily solve a high school's homework with a short glance and buy a whole store by her wallet, just a normal middle schooler girl crying for help. Kamijou Touma knew that well. He had seen it by his own eyes.
"Seriously, even though I have asked this once, but how could you keep smiling like that?", her expression didn't change much. She sounded almost irritated yet truthfully.
Then she felt warmth on her head.
"Ah"
The right hand that had been through so many fights, saved him from death multiple times, brought peace to this world not only once, it was now, rubbing her head gently. He had done this to her once, still in this Iron Bridge although the circumstance was different a little. Like the previous time, MIkoto felt peace.
"Because I'm glad to be your friend"
There was no way he could know how much did those words mean to her.
His hand didn't move anymore but it still remain its position. The spiky hair boy stared deeply at her brown eyes. "That's why... Don't cry"
"Eh? Wah?"
Mikoto's shoulder jumped like a normal person being through a flow of low voltage of electricity. There was a tear steaming down on her face, silently dropped. "Since when did I...", she was going to turn away and wipe her cheek as well as having her face kept. But he was faster than that. Taking a hold of her wrist, he stopped her.
"What are you... "
Mikoto was actually going to ask what was he going to do, but she had no chance to finish it. Because there was an action made her stop, those words stuck in her throat.
Because her face was no longer feeling cold. It was warm in this below 0 degree celsius weather. Of course that was not because of the heat coming out from the street light. It was to small comparing to this weather so it was kinda useless.
But sometimes, only a feeling of 37 celsius was enough to warm someone up...
Kamijou was touching her cheek with his palm. The highschool boy tilted her head upward to meet her eyes.
He was wiping her tears while wearing a smile.
All her mind could register was his caring blue eyes and the tender of his touch. Mikoto didn't know if she felt hot on her face because of his temperature or the blush on her cheeks. Somehow, without her knowing, her tears after a minute or two actually stopped, left her staring at him with wide eyes.
"I'm happy that you're feeling better", Kamijou seemed to notice this too, "That's good", his hand was still caressing her cheek.
Normally, Mikoto would have exploded million shades of red or getting all biribiri. This time she was different, she still blushed, but not as hard as before, there was no electricity came out either.
This was not her reason to come here anyway
The Railgun pushed his hand away slowly, averted her gaze. Withstanding his gaze was not something she could handle. And he let her even though deep inside, he felt a little disappointed, Kamijou Touma missed the touch of her beautiful and soft skin. That made MIkoto note how hesitant his hand was.
"Yea... yeah . Guess I just got too emotional. Haha'', Mikoto turned to the right, where the light couldn't reach to hide her face from him, forcing a laugh to cool herself down. Kamijou understood her action, as a result, he wouldn't push her. Returning his hand into the pocket, the boy patiently waited for her to finish wiping her tears and breathing exercise. When she finally faced him, Kamijou was happy because she didn't cry anymore, wiping the nose by her slim index finger, Misaka Mikoto was smiling.
Yes
Kamijou Touma swore that his heart had stopped for a moment.
"Neh Uiharu, If you don't want to spoil someone's mood, then don't be late. Do you know how cold this weather is and the feeling of a lonely girl standing in the middle of the street without being accompanied in Christmas!?", Saten Ruiko was definitely mad.
"Im sorry Saten-san. But there was a little girl getting lost, so I had to stay with her and contact other Judgment members to help that poor girl to find her parents.
"It's so complicated. You can't even have your day off. Uwoh! What's with your flowers!? They are half gone! Comes to think about it, you look pale Uiharu. So you and your flowers are connected. This means... Oh no! Those Judgment things are killing you!"
"That's not something that someone would say when she called me to go out when I was sleeping after an exhausting day of Judgment or else I will see various pieces of paper with creepy urban legends on them all over my front door, Saten-san. Why do you have to call me while I had already lied in bed!?, then Uiharu embraced her flowers with all her might,"And my flowers did not suddenly look terrible like this. I have to run at my full speed in this flow of people!", Uiharu Kazari shrieked while pointing her index finger at the crowd walking on the street.
"M... Mah", Saten scratched her cheek, "I can make it up to you. Buying new flowers, how's that!?", and the long-hair girl's voice filled with excitement at the later part.
"Hahhhhh. I can do that myself", sighed the Judgment girl in defeated. "You are so cruel, Saten-sa... W-Why are you staring at me like that!?"
"I'm just thinking, you are not wearing skirt today. Now how am I going to flip your skirt?"
"Uwah! What are you thinking Saten-san!? How can I wear skirt in this weather!? I'm not Tokiwadai's student!"
"Ho ho. So you actually wanted me to flip your skirt, I see I see. He he"
"I didn't say that!? Where do you get that idea from Saten-san!?"
Saten continued her ramblings regardless
"That's mean I owe you one. Don't worry Uiharu. I promisre that I will flip your skirt twice next time we meet"
"Kyahhh"
"It's such a pity that Misaka-san and Shirai-san couldn't go with us"
"Um. I can't believe that Tokiwadai's rules don't allow students to go out even in Christmas. Being ojou-sama sure is tough. You have to do this and that. Guess that I'd prefer a normal life like this. But well, at least they had a celebration."
"I remember that Dorm Mistress", Saten's face paled. "But don't you think that Misaka-san is acting weird these days?"
"Hai?"
"Not sneaking out of the dorm to go with us is weird enough already, Uiharu. She seemed distract while going with us . I wonder if she was okay. Shirai-san is worrying about her too" said Saten, recalling her memories of the past few days of Misaka-san.
"Yes. Misaka-san is not the type that would tell her problem that easily. That makes me sad and guilty. Being her friend but can't do anything to help her", Uiharu sadly said.
"Uiharu...", Saten stared at Uiharu in surprised, then she grinned widely and gave her poor friend a painfully pat in the back that shoved her forward and made her yell. "Don't worry. I'm sure Misaka-san will be fine. She's the Ace of Tokiwadai after all"
In fact, there was one time in the past, Misaka Mikoto had been like this. They knew something happened to her. 'Staying over at night with her boyfriend' was just a random reason that Saten made out to convince her fiends and herself. Though that was so unreasonable. Misaka-san didn't seem to be a girl would do that at this age. Anyway, deep inside, Saten knew that Misaka-san was in serious trouble that she couldn't share with anyone.
Luckily, things had got back to normal. She didn't know if it had been Mikoto or someone else solve the problem, Misaka-san had came back to the strong, tsundere friend she had always admired.
Saten Ruiko had faith in her upperclassman, that's the truth could never be shaken.
"I wonder what Misaka-san wanted to talk to us once we meet tomorrow. I hope it's not something serious"
"Do you know why did I choose this iron bridge that night?", Mikoto leaned forward on the bridge railing. She kept her vision at the water surface. Kamijou couldn't quite see her face. The distance between them was around 3 meters, he was enable to hear what she was saying.
"Uhm... Not really", he had never thought about that before. Because of the EMP waves that he was able to find her while running around district 7. The question why she was on this bridge was never on the list.
"When I stress out...", She seemed to study his expression, "I would find somewhere windy. That night, my body just moved on its own. As a result, I had reached this place before I knew it", she chuckled.
Kamijou kept silent. A small wind blew past them. Snow was falling harder than before but no one even thought about brushing of the snow on their clothes.
"Since then, when I'm depressed or have to make a difficult decision, in attempts not to bother my friends, this is the first destination I could think of. And you know what, it had became my favorite place to go. There were sometimes I dared to pass the curfew just to take a walk on this bridge", her laugh echoed up the empty bridge.
Mikoto took a glimpse at him before closing her beautiful brown eyes, continuing, "No matter how desperate, sad and helpless I am, I like it here"
The short-brown hair girl turned to him , looking so peaceful. The wind blew softly, caressing the electromaster's hair. The image of her smiling and the yellow hue of the lights made him dizzy.
Mikoto didn't know the reason why but she knew he was frozen, she questioned, 'What about you? What would you do when you're down?
Kamijou quickly snapped to reality, he spluttered, "M-Me?" Well, he didn't expected that the conversation would turn into him, or at least she would ask him back. He saw her nodded.
''W-well, I guess I would lie on the floor all day. But I don't want Index to be worried", she flinched, however he didn't notice,"So sometimes I wandered around Academy City or just sit on a bench in the park. Kamijou-san doesn't want Index to bite his head off because he's too depressed to make her food"
"I see. Guess we both have crazy roommates to take care of", Miikoto added that and they burst out laughing. Who knew if a certain nun with 32 teeth screaming for food and a perverted kouhai would be the Imagine Breaker and the Railgun's pain in the butt.
Soon the laugh subsided,
"Misaka"
"Hmm?"
"You're actually weird these days", Kamijou looked at Mikoto both in worry and confusion,"Is something wrong?"
The smile didn't leave her face but her fingers flinched. Even though Kamijou failed to notice this, he still had the odd feeling running inside his body."Why do you think so?", the Ace of Tokiwadai merely shrugged, looking at the horizon on the river. Her grip on the railing tightened.
"Not... not really. It's just... I haven't seen you for a week. At first I thought you were busy for school, but you didn't answer my messages, my calls though that was I want you to help me with my homework. Then you called in the evening to go out all by sudden. You asked me to dress and come to your school, then sneaked out of the dorm to eventually convinced me for a walk, you-"
"What parts of those are that weird anyway? The shorted-brown hair girl voice was strained as she cut his line.
"We HAD fun together", Kamijou declared, "I'm not saying that we never had fun together because we did. Bumping into each other in front of a vending machine in the park, throwing insults or lightning spear. We hardly had a proper conversation. However, I enjoyed my time with you and I'm sure you felt that too Misaka. And no, don't deny it. Not that I don't like what we have done this evening. But... it has never been this way. You smiled and laugh all the time and you haven't let out sparks when i called you 'biribiri' or even just narrowed your eyes at me this whole night. I don't think that your gestures were fake, then in the other hand the only first time your were actually this calm was the... Sisters incident", he hesitantly paused to look at Mikoto in worried, recalling that painful memories was not Kamijou's intention, not to hurt her. "Is there something bothering you?"
Misaka Mikoto looked at him for a moment. Suddenly, her response upon hearing that were strange yet so familiar.
She laughed with an unknow meaning. Turning her back to him and looking at the sky blankly. The Railgun brushed the snow on her shoulders, asked almost teasingly,"So you've finally learnt to read people's mood after those whole time or following instinct, oi idiot?"
The spiky-hair boy seemed to be struggled with the answer, "Well, I... Just my thoughts. Maybe... but... haha", Kamijou laughed in awkward while scratching his head. Somehow he felt like he was accusing her. Misaka Mikoto's smile was real. So perhaps he had been being overreacted.
Mikoto merely tilled her head.
"Knowing your luck...", Kamijou turned at her voice.
"Such misfortune", Mikoto mimicked his favourite quote, she raised her chin made Kamijou have a perfect view of her face, "You're not wrong at all"
She took a deep sigh. It became a white smoke because of the cold, vanishing in the air.
She turned back to face him.
She smiled again and said to him.
"There is something bothering me"
"Onee-sama... "
Shirai Kuroko, Mikoto's roomate and bestfriend. A potential level 4 teleporter and a member of branch 177th of Judgment. Not only admiring Mikoto, Kuroko was even famous of her affection toward the electromaster.
Kuroko look at the time on her small phone's screen. Midnight would come soon.
And Mikoto still didn't come back. This was not the first time Kuroko had to face situation like this. She lied to the Dorm Mistress, faking Mikoto's existance by hiding a big pillow under Mikoto's blanket. The suspicuos look of the Dorm Mistress scared her to death. Even when she was gone and left Kuroko in room 208, Kuroko couldn't help but feel her neck aching. She silently thanked her acting or the Dorm Mistress would twist her neck and throw her out of the dorm like tossing a can of juice.
Later, that was not her concern anymore.
Judging by her perverted behavior to a certain roommate, if people liked playing games or reading books for their routine, Shirai Kuroko would sneak into her onee-sama's bed and start sniffing all over the place. Such a pervert she was. Sounded creepy but she could smell Mikoto's scent even if the bed sheet, blanket and pillow were dumped into the washing machine with washing powder reaching its top. Doing all the perverted things then getting electrocuted to her sense by her beloved onee-sama . And she called that 'The whip of love'.
However, not this time.
Looking at the time. It was Christmas. Mikoto went out was a big lost to the Judgment girl. They would have stayed in their nest(what she called) after the celebration in order to enjoy being together. Maybe drugging Mikoto to sleep and doing god-know-what-that-was to her was in the twin-tailed girl's plan.
But no, Shirai Kuroko didn't have time to think about it.
"Onee-sama", lying on her bed, clenching the phone in her hand, she stared blankly at the ceiling.
She, onee-sama, Uiharu-san and Saten-san would have gone somewhere to entertain like what they had agreed... well, two weeks ago. She and Kuroko wanted to left early so they could go out and have fun. But it turned out her onee-sama even left the Chrismast celebration right after the principal finished her wishes to all Tokiwadai students. Leaving Kuroko stuck with the two-hour celebration with a dish with food on her hand and a lot of questions such as: 'Where's MIsaka-san? Why she didn't come here and make a speech? Where's our Ace? Shirai-san, is that true that Misaka-sama has a boyfriend?"
And Kuroko still remembered a devil wearing glasses called 'Dorm Mistress-sama'. The high and mighty woman of Tokiwadai's dorm had radiated a dark aura behind her back while whispering to the twin-tail girl, 'You are not gooing to leave so soon right, Shirai?'
The Judgment girl stared at the door,
"No matter how it's going to turn out, please carefully consider your decision"
And Shirai Kuroko closed her eyes. The snow wouldn't stop falling.
"There is... something bothering you?", his eyebrows lifted up.
She didn't answer. But her expression could be understood as a confirmation.
"Can you tell what it is!? Are you ok!? Do you need my help!?"", the spiky-hair boy stammered. There was no doubt that he worried for her, a lot. Yet, he felt a bit relieved at the same time. Misaka Mikoto had trust him enough to actually tell him her problem, not hiding anything. Maybe she was actually going to ask him for his help, he was the one that she could rely on.
However, what he was received was the girl shaking her head.
"You...", Kamijou didn't stop, but words couldn't leave his mouth. Because she had said before he could.
Mikoto asked if she could asked him a question while smiling, he nodded.
Whatever she was going to say, it must be hard since she paused for a moment, so he waited.
The Railgun took a hold of her wrist.
"Neh"
"Have you ever loved someone?"
"Eh?"
"Have you ever loved someone?", she repeated.
"Loved?... You mean... Of course I have. I mean I value my friends and family and..."
"Let me put it this way..."
Mikoto was a little annoyed because of his denseness.
"Have you ever had a crush on someone?"
"E-Eh? 'Crush' you mean..., what are you talking about? ", Kamijou laughed nervously. It was like recording confession from a high school student of his faults and blackmailing him for his money or that will be broadcasted the next day. And Kamijou knew that once Misaka Mikoto took a hold of him, he would end up being her 'slave', again.
Besides, there was no way he could believe that was something coming out from her.
"No. I think so"
"Are you sure?"
"Not really.I don't know about me before losing memories, but I guess this 'me' haven't had that kind of feeling"
"I see"
"Why did you come to that question Misaka?"
"Who knows." replied Mikoto
Fail to get him understand, she called out, "Then what do you think of me?"
"You? Well, Misaka, you are a very reliable friend and... such" Kamijou jumped at her question.
It was not a lie. Still Kamijou felt off in his own answer.
And especially in Mikoto's facial movements.
Nothing.
She didn't scold him.
She didn't blush or let out deadly sparks.
She didn't smile either.
When the boy started feeling confused, she asked him another question.
"You mean you love me... as a friend?"
"Y-Yeah"
"Nothing more?"
"Eh what? What do you mean Misaka?" Without knowing any meaning in the Railgun's question, Kamijou asked her back.
"Just answer. Have you ever think of me as a... very important person to you?" The seriousness in her brown eyes didn't fail to make him stopped laughing.
"I... we are friends and...", all he felt could only be summed up in a word "shock".
Kamijou Touma received an unexpected question from the Ace of Tokiwadai. "Of course you are an important to me, I mean Index and the others too", his cheeks got hot a little but he smiled while invert his gaze to other direction. Because there was nothing to be embarrassed for.
" I see", her voice trailed off, like a broken radio.
"What's wrong, Misaka?"
The difference between the 'Misaka Mikoto' and today Misaka Mikoto had been clearly shown by her behavior.
Mikoto was acting weird because something was bothering her. But why did she come up with that question?
He didn't get it.
Now he thought about what she had asked earlier. It was not that he didn't know what love was. In fact, He DID love. Kamijou knew that he loved people surrounding he had met, making friend with, fighting with were people he held dear for. Kamijou didn't know much about his previous self, but when he was still himself, Kamikou Touma would definitely protect them no matter what.
So he had a lot of people were carefully placed inside his heart. That were his important people.
But 'crush on someone'?
"Listen, I have a very important thing to tell you. I'm going to say this honestly, so please listen"
"Eh? U.. um", he was snapped back to reality when her gentle tone rang in his ears. Looking up and he saw her smiling brightly. For the first time, she called him by his name. "Kamijou Touma..."
"I love you"
"H-Hah?"
"I love you", Mikoto said it again without any hesitation, those words came out from her becoming more sincere, pleasant to ears, " I have loved you all along"
He couldn't feel the cold from the wind that was blowing past them, not because the clothes kept him warm. In fact, his face could hardly move or feel anything. The spiky-hair boy was dumbfounded. If his brain was a computer, then it was in process battling all its limit in order to solve the three-word sentence she had just said.
Because that wasn't a simple three-word sentence.
All her strength...
All her confidence...
All her feelings...
What she had always denied, but silently accepting it inside, what she had always wanted to say, but couldn't... had been spoken.
Finally, for the first time in her life, she had been able to say that to him, and only him. Now she was wondering why it could come out from her so easy.
"You... love m... me?", Kamijou asked back her in disbelief, eyes wided open then asked himself why the word 'love' was so hard to say aloud.
She loved him?
"Yes."
"Mi... saka?"
Kamijou laughed a bit stupidly, "Are you kidding me? Where's the camera? Tsuchimikado was not after this right?." Half expecting the Tokiwadai's Ace would burst out laughing at him in the face until she got to tears while patting his shoulder with a pity face. So he looked around to find any stalkers but it seemed there was no one except them were on this Iron Bridge. Turning to her to find an answer, Mikoto still kept silent, made his laugh died off. There was no humor inside her brown eyes as she was looking at his.
"You... are not serious, right Misaka?!", there was a loud thump in his chest, nervous filled his mind.
And Misaka Mikoto nodded as she stared at him.
The boy opened his mouth as if he was on the verge of saying something, however it closed right after that
So he blushed and scratched his head while looking down, unable to meet her in the eyes. After a moment of awkwardness, Kamijou finally spoke.
"I... um I'm glad to hear that... Thank... you"
"Don't you found it weird or something?", she questioned, being amazed about his ability to understand her words and further, his answer. Maybe he was not that dense or just Mikoto had chosen the wrong way of approaching him those previous time.
"That's... I don't expected... this... I mean... you... I..."
Couldn't put the blame on the boy. Most of their time being together, they would argue about nonsense things with lightnings, screaming and power failure. In Mikoto's case, it was now normal if she blushed so mad as if there was steam coming out from her ears when she saw his figure walking from afar or having any simple interactions with him. In Kamijou's case, he was too distracted (and dense) to notice, for example the he couldn't even point out the differences between blushing and a fever. Generally saying, if they had a proper conversation, these two were, painfully saying, in the middle of battles or serious stuffs.
However, at this place, this time, things had got different.
Mikoto would be serious if she had to, like she had reached that idiot hand, like she had tried to tell him that he was not alone, like she had hugged him in the snow and taught him about the perfect world, the paradise for all but one.
Because she wanted to bear his burden.
Because she wanted him to continue to fight for his desires.
Because she wanted to help him.
Because she wanted to support him.
Because Misaka Mikoto wanted to be with him.
"Misaka"
"I'm sorry, but I can't return your feeling"
"..."
"I'm sorry. I think, we should just... stay as friends"
There was a pregnant silence.
"... I understand"
It was so hard that he didn't dare to look at her to see her expression. When everything was becoming more and more awkward, suddenly he heard her chuckled. Being surprised, Kamijou promptly raised his head to see her smiling.
Saying "Neh. Can you do me a favor?" and took one step closer to him. Kamijou nodded, he couldn't reject, "What is thi..."
Before the boy could even finish his sentence, Misaka Mikoto had took big steps to his direction...
And the distance between them was zero.
Their body were pressed on each other. Kamijou Touma was so shock that he was shaking like crazy and stammered, "Misa... Misaka... What are you doing!?"
Mikoto wrapped her arms behind his back into a gentle embrace as she leaned her head on his shoulders. She whispered, "Please, just.. stay like this for a while"
He heard her and stopped shaking. Kamijou could smell the scent from her body. The warm feeling from Mikoto's hug that was transferred to him was so big that he was going to wrap his arms and hug her back with unawareness. However, only when did they almost touch her small back, Kamijou realized and immediately stopped his action.
His arms quietly dropped by the sides.
"So... I'll be going", Mikoto said as if it was obvious.
"Hah?"
"I have done what I wanted to, so I'd better not stay here for long or Dorm Mistress would kill me the second I step into the door", she blinked her eyes."Y... yeah", Kamijou tried to get his words through, "See you." The Ace of Tokiwadai's shoulders stiffed and her eyebrows furrowed, which he found weird. "Yeah, see you", Mikoto smiled at him for the last time and turned her shoes at him.
Kamijou didn't leave his eyes out of her figure until it disappeared from his sight.
"Honestly, why do you have to push yourself no to cry like that?." He asked quietly even though he didn't expect an answer for his question since no one was there, in fact, he knew the answer well. Touching his right shoulder where she had leaned on. "You're so stubborn." Having the memories of the past few minutes in his head, Kamijou believed that he could still hear her heart beating while she was hugging him. And seriously saying, Kamijou was shocked that his jacket didn't get wet. He thought she was actually crying on his shoulder since her trembling form showed that fact. Might not be the person who understand her the most, the boy knew her enough to know she was trying to act strong. Why didn't she just cry? To live with her real, heavy emotions?
"Heh", Kamijou Touma bit his upper lip so hard that it bled. "I am the jerk for making her like that... Now I'm even dare to think about her crying on my shoulders?"
He felt so weak and helpless that he could hardly breath.
He didn't have enough strength to prevent her from leaving. Suddenly He realized, most of the time they had met, the person who left first with thousand of excuses, was him. While Mikoto was trying to shout some nonsense things from behind, he just waved at her and walked off. Kamijou didn't know she wanted to call him back, to stay with him a little longer. The thought of punching himself for being insensitive was filled in his chest. She left first for this only time and he felt this empty, then what about those times when he left her behind? How did Misaka Mikoto feel? He didn't know or have a proper knowledge of it, because he had never been in that position, and there was high possibility that Kamijou didn't care much for her feelings. Sure he wanted to protect her, but put his resolve before her feelings was just wrong.
He felt so guilty that he didn't have courage to hug her back.
He hate himself for being so useless because he couldn't return her feelings.
Kamijou Touma didn't reject Misaka Mikoto right after she confessed to him was not because he didn't love her. In fact, he did. But it seemed to him that emotion was not love in a romantic way. She was special to him, but... such things as 'love' or 'crush'? He loved her more than a friend, however was that that big so he could stand proudly with his chin high and say he love her too? How could the boy say that line when he didn't even have the slightest certainty of his feelings?
He scared, really. He scared that she wouldn't stay by his side anymore from the very moment he said 'sorry'. He scared she would cry in suffer and push herself to limit in front of him.
However, If he had accepted her confession, was it counted as playing with her emotion? Or any guarantee for her safety if she would ever become his girlfriend, his most important person? He had enemies.
So he rejected her, knowing how pain was it. That was the best way.
Looking at the thing in his hand sadly, he thrust it inside the pocket and made his way to the dorm.
Once again, Kamijou Touma put his resolve before Misaka Mikoto's feelings.
Misaka Mikoto was supposed to head back to her dorm in district 7. It was late and amount people going outside didn't seem to reduce.
"Then what am I doing here?", muttering, Mikoto found herself sitting on a bench in the park which she usually went to after school . And everyone was focusing on their fun and the electromaster definitely was not on the list. Needless to say, she was certainly the most lonely in this park. Hearing the others laughing and rollicking while having bad mood just made them sound stupid.
She had the feelings that her strength had been drained to its last drop.
Mikoto closed her eyes and intended to shut herself for a couple of minutes, so she leaned on the backrest...
Thinking about her reality, her only reality: Being rejected. For the first time in her live, Mikoto had confessed to the boy she had a strong affection to. And got rejected. It was funny somehow, Kamijou Touma had shattered her screwed up illusion about them being together. Images of them walking together under the sun and other chessy, beautiful prospects one by one being broken inside her head.
But it's not like she blamed him. About him shattering her illusion was only her silly thought to find something funny so she could laugh of. Mikoto smile as her chin almost reached her chest.
She knew this would happen from the beginning.
She knew no matter how much she tried, she... couldn't reach him, she would fail to reach him.
She knew it wouldn't work out.
Kamijou was not at fault, but her. He had right to reject and deny what he didn't want. He didn't have the same feeling as her, the only idiot running after a chance of being in a special relationship with him. Mikoto wanted to hit her head against the nearest wall for being a idiot. Because she knew she would hardly stand a chance but still made a decision to run after it, if after her many fail attempts to approach him was not enough of a clue. So she decided she would just leave the race. She gave up. She couldn't run anymore. Like a athletes left his own chance to win a medal, sitting down at the side tiredly and look at his opponents reaching the finish line with regret in his eyes.
But did she regret this decision?
Misaka Mikoto didn't. A lot of things she had regretted for. But she chose this. Even though everything hadn't gone anywhere and was even worse, the Level 5 would never have that feelings this time.
Maybe, just maybe, she had done the right thing.
What was the point of this one-sided affection if he never noticed? They were just friends, nothing special. Let assume she was one of his closest friend, but didn't mean he would ever fall in love with her. She knew that.
Knowing the result, #3 confessed in order to show her feelings toward him, and let it go.
"Even though I knew this would happen..."
Staring at the sky, muttering as some snowflakes fell on her hair.
"Then why I feel so hurt..."
Before her eyes closed, the tears didn't miss its chance to steaming down from the corner of her eyes.
Giving up on someone had never been simple, it made you feel helpless and useless. You would blame yourself. Why having those emotions? Why were you unable to stop them in time before it became so big that your feelings were killing you from the inside? Why did you try to push yourself so hard to say what you have had in you heart and ruined your relationship with that person? Things between you would never come back to it old self. After realizing your mistake in the past, you were left like an empty shell.
Holding the two small rings in her hand, Misaka Mikoto whispered.
"It was a lot emptier than I though it would be..."
Misaka Mikoto finally released her embrace as her chick flustered a light pink color. "Sorry"
Kamijou replied. "No... There's nothing"
"Look, Misaka. I'm sorry", saying the highschool boy as he refused to meet her eyes.
"What are you sorry again?"
"For, I mean... you know..."
"No", the Railgun shrugged, "You don't have anything to say sorry for"
"But I-", he wanted to protest but there was something was quickly held in front of hís face, "Eh?", stepping a small step back, he stared at the thing
'(A paper bag?)'
"It's for you", Mikoto stated.
"M... me? What's this", suprised Kamijou as he tried to study the small paper bag. "Geez, just for Christmas. What's with that face of yours!?", Mikoto tilted to the left to tell him with a solemn look on her face.
Kamijou Touma was lost at words.
"W... wait a minute. I can't take this Misaka!"
"Why?", Mikoto had a what-now face.
"Because I... I don't have anything to give you. And how I can even think about taking this after I had re- ah I mean, take it back. What kind of person am I!?"
His voice was in verge of panic and somehow ashamed. Mikoto gave a deep sigh as she lowered her hand. "Seriously you don't have to force yourself if you just anciently spit out that word, but... just take this. I'm baking it myself this time. Don't think this is bought in an expensive store in the underground malls"
"Baking yourself... don't tell me this is..."
"Hai hai. Just some cookies. Not that big deal"
So she remembered the stupid request he had made in the hospital? He was just joking to cheer her up( and she almost fried all the electrical equippments in that room).
Anyways, Kamijou Touma didn't have enough courage to look at her eyes, how would he even dare to received that much from her? He rejected her feelings and now receiving a Christmas gift that he didn't have anything with him to give her back. The boy couldn't accept her kindness.
Mikoto seemed to understand his problem. Her face became serious but still had it tenderness.
"Listen. You don't have to think about giving me back anything after this. I was the one calling you first so you don't have time to prepare, I understand this." The corners of her lips lifted up when he opened his mouth, intended to say something, but remained silent. The wind blew through made his throat dry.
"I have failed to give you last time. So please, accept this... If you find it hard, then just think this as a late thank you give after saving me in the Sister incident", Mikoto took his right hand and placed it on his palm gently as she spoke.
"Thank you, again, Kamijou Touma"
"And wish you a happy Christmas"
The smile she gave to him was so warm that he thought the sun was rising from the horizon.
27nSySt aka phantom216's here. I changed my pen name, hope you guys don't mind.
Now, You might be wondering what am i trying to tell in this story.
actually i dont know. just me imagining of a certain confession. And this is painfully to say, but i love angst genre along with making my favorite character suffer(you hear that right)
Anyway there was some points i want to tell you
If you are thinking that touman's solution in this fanfic is... well... typical(he wanted to protect her) and stupid(he still put his resolve before Mikoto's feelings eventhough he had understood it a little bit) then for the typical thing: like I said, I like to make my favorite character suffer. For the stupid thing: I think that's how touma is. Besides, if he doesn't have that kind of feelings how could he accept it?
And why did Mikoto cry so easily in the beginning? I think that she always try to act strong, so when she forgot focusing on it, her walls would break and she would get emotional. But if you read this you can probably guess i was trying to make a scene similiar to the legendary bridge scene. Like history repeated.
Before saying goodbye, this fanfic has been written for months. I just finished it this evening and it didn't have beta reading. So if you think it's sucks, boring, too many grammatical errors, misspelled, etc... Please forgive me!
p/s: oh and this might be a two-short lol