I read this Hunhan fanfic. And my feels just kinda went all over the place.
I cried the whole night.
So I kinda had to make a Sasusaku version (well It's not really a version because I changed a lot of stuff and wrote it in my own vocabulary (the hunhan fic is better…Like wayyy better) Here's the link: .
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it (hides in room)
/
The flowers swayed with the wind. A little girl around six years old sat on the porch. She was crying, her sobs echo throughout. The ruffling of bushes catches her attention and she looks back, tears still rolling down her chubby cheeks.
A tall pale boy emerged; He looked curiously at the girl before him, wondering why she was crying so much. He had dark ebony hair that matched his soft wide eyes. The girl blinked, not expecting anyone to be here.
"Are you lost?" The boy asks, reaching out his small hands.
The girl would never forget how majestic he looked, the sunrays hit on his pale skin and hair, he looked like he almost glowed, and he looked like a beautiful angel.
"Are you an angel?" The girl blurts out innocently and he laughs.
It was beautiful.
"I'm not an angel, but I know the way home," He reaches down and his soft fingers find their way to hers, he gives her cold hand a squeeze.
/
Sakura's eyes fluttered open. It was that dream again, or memory to be specific. The memory she was very fond of, after all, it was the memory of her meeting Sasuke.
"You're awake" A silky voice murmured from beside Sakura. She turned her head and saw the same ebony-haired man.
Sasuke.
She let a small smile plaster on her lips and she got up, giving him a light peck on the cheek. "Yes, now go back to sleep".
He stared questioningly, but soon gave a small yawn and fell into a slumber. It was 2 in the night, everybody should be sleeping.
Everyone except Sakura
Tap Tap Tap
The rain battered against the window, almost as if it was urging Sakura to come outside and play. It softly tapped, again and again. Sakura gave in; she couldn't resist the rain's playful calls. The women got up slowly, careful not to wake up the man beside her.
The shuffling of feet can be heard as she put on her slippers and walked out in the rain.
/
Rain was always Sakura's favorite, especially the feel it gave to her skin. Sakura smiled when she went outside, letting the rain soak her throughout. Mindlessly, she let her feet wander wherever they wanted to go, and she found herself in a familiar place.
The garden.
She had always loved the garden, it was her escape from all the crap she bared in all her life.
The scars on her hand reminded her of the pain, her painful past, how beaten up and broken she was, and still is.
Sakura would always come to the garden; she'd plop on the porch and cry and cry until all her tears dried.
She would stay there until her heart was at peace, letting the garden soothe her body and mind.
The rain trickled down her neck and back and Sakura shuddered. She let the tip of her fingers graze the concrete and sat in the place she always did. The smell of the damp earth and flowers wrapped around her, she felt herself sweetly drowning in the aroma, the sensation of cold rain bouncing of her skin and the warm breeze gliding through her wet hair and skin giving her goose bumps.
This is what she always longed and loved. The silence and peace, where there's nobody but you and the glittering rain droplets that bounce off the leaves, and the warm wind giving you company.
She never felt lonely here, even though she was alone.
Sakura pictured "love" to be the same. Love is what she always longed for. Love that envelopes you in the sweetness until you drown and drown in the presence. Love that captivates your mind and makes you shiver with delight. Love that is cold and warm at the same time. It lets you drown in so much, and then brings you back up, because it knows you're too far in. It suffocates you, but stops when it needs to, bringing you back up, bringing you back to reality.
Just like how the warm wind stops and the cold rain slowly comes to a halt, so does love too.
/
Sakura was back home, wet and cold from her small adventure. She was soaked to the bone and her pajamas were heavy with the weight.
"Where were you?" She turned around and saw Sasuke holding a blanket to his chest and rubbing his eyes.
How cute.
She smiled fondly "Why are you awake Sasuke-kun?"
He frowned; "I woke up and you were gone…so I was worried" He stopped and eyed her wet hair and clothes, "Why are you all wet?"
Her smile disappeared. It was one of the many things that Sasuke didn't understand about her. She didn't want to explain, she already told him many times, but he just won't understand her completely, and she shook her head.
"I…just went for a walk".
Sasuke pursed his lips, his eyebrows furrowing , but he let it go, and both of them went back to their bedroom.
The dark-haired boy slipped in, wrapping a strong hand around her waist. Sakura felt her cold body press against his warm one, sharing the warmth. He plants a kiss on her closed tired eyes, and it lingers for a moment, the soft touch of his lips.
He then moves down on her lips and kisses her, softly and sweetly. Sakura shivers pleasantly, every touch giving her spine tingles. The kiss was long, sweet and tender. It all felt so real at night.
She rests her forehead against the crook of his neck, inhaling his cinnamon scent. Sasuke ran his hands through her bubble-pink hair and Sakura dreaded what was going to happen next, The part she hates, the part that made her feel so guilty, because she should be.
"I love you" He whispers, and breathes against her hair. Sakura felt the same throb in her heart again.
"I…I love you too"
/
The morning air filled the room, the curtains flapping from the wind. Sakura woke up, stretching out her arms. Her back was a bit stiff and she was still very tired. The red marking on the calendar catches her eyes. She swallows, trying to keep the tears from forming. The words "January 19" are highlighted in red, scribbled furiously as if the person wanted to erase it from the calendar, from her life. She gets up, pushing aside her thoughts.
The aroma of sizzling eggs fills the kitchen; Sakura adds chopped tomatoes, and just the amount of salt and spice that Sasuke likes.
She makes eggs and Bacon for herself, and slips in the chair across Sasuke, handing him his breakfast.
It was quiet, just like always. Sasuke looks beautiful, the golden-pink light illuminating his handsome face, and she recalls the time she first saw him. It never amazes her how perfect Sasuke is, how perfect he looks when he carelessly sweeps his hair with his pale fingers. Or when he takes a bite of his omelet, chewing happily.
The silence drowns Sakura in, but this time she doesn't like it. Mornings are the hardest; mornings are the time they don't know what the hell to do with each other.
"Sasuke-kun?" She whispers.
He looks at her, waiting for her to speak up.
"Do you want to hear something cheesy?"
There was a brief silence.
"Sure."
"If I was a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, so I could stare at you a bit longer" Sakura forced a giggle, "cheesy right?"
He purses his lips, and looks down at his plate, twirling the fork in between his fingers idly.
"No?"
Sasuke shakes his head and looks at her. "No."
She clenches her jaws, forcing back the gnawing feeling at her heart, and she smiles bitterly. She's done the dishes and when she comes back.
He's gone.
/
It was already 1 in the afternoon. Sakura reluctantly goes through her closet, rummaging through until the black fabric catches her eyes. She pulls it out, the black dress. The same dress she wears on this day, every year. She clenches the fabric, until her knuckles are pale white.
The dress seemed to be getting larger and looser each year. Sakura stares at her reflection, pitying at how frail she has become. Her once thick flowing pink hair, was now matted thinly against her skull. Her radiant glowing skin was now a ghastly white. She stared incredulously at her eyes, they changed from an emerald sparkly green, to a dark green, the dark eye-circles weren't a help either.
So much has changed.
Sakura leaves to go out. It was raining again, at least that would make her feel a bit better. The weather was dark and gloomy, seemed to fit the day perfectly. The rain fell on her as soon as she got out, she didn't care at all.
Sasuke followed behind, he came back from wherever he suddenly goes. He stays behind, not bothering to say anything. So they walk amidst the rainy weather in silence.
Sakura was too busy wallowing in her thoughts and she didn't pay attention to the garment that caught in-between her feet, she stumbled and fell, her knee was scraped, fresh blood slowly oozing out.
She stayed there, hopeless on the ground for a few moments. Why was she still on the ground? Was she hoping that maybe Sasuke would hurry to her side? That he would panic and ask if she's okay?
She was just fooling herself.
But then again, she shouldn't be the one feeling bad for herself. She'd been a bad person to him too.
She felt her eyes blur and the lump in her throat hurt.
"It hurts" She chocked, whether she was implying the scratch, or something else, she doesn't know herself.
Sasuke was there on the side, all this time. He sadly looks at the ground "I know", he murmurs. It sounded more like a so what.
And just like that, he was gone again.
/
Sakura reaches the dreaded place and trip she had to make. She saw a familiar blonde, and her steps increased.
"Ino!"
The platinum blonde girl turned around and a large smile grew on her features instantly.
"Sakura! I missed you so much!" She wrapped her arms around the frail girl, giving her a crushing bear-hug. She smiled blissfully, after a long time, she felt really happy seeing her best friend.
"How have you been? You look so….tired". Ino has never seen Sakura this weak before.
"Yeah, Life's tiring" and painful.
The graveyard was right in front, Ino walked in, expecting Sakura to follow since she has flowers in her hands. The blonde stopped in front of a grave, staring at it, her eyes misted with sorrow.
Sakura put a comforting hand on her back. "My classmate died a year ago". Ino whispers, she turns around and looks at the bouquet of lilies.
"Why are you here?"
Sakura breathes in, her breath quivers as she tries to calm herself.
"Sasuke" She barely speaks.
"Your…boyfriend?"
"Yeah…4 years ago. Today".
/
Sakura walks to the grave, Ino was already gone, and she needed to be alone too. She sighs and stops in front of the familiar grave. Her fingers graze the name "Sasuke Uchiha" and the memories return like a speed-car. Sasuke died in a car crash, 4 years ago. She remembers the blood all over her shirt; she remembers how he was struggling to live. She remembers how much she cried and cried. His last words always hurt her. I love you.
She let the lilies fall onto his grave, Lilies reminded her of him, Pure and beautiful, white and so angelic.
Sakura closed her eyes, calming herself. She opened her eyes and met with Sasuke. He was here again.
He looked troubled.
"Sakura..I'm so sorry, I-I have to leave, my time's up" He stutters, and falls to the ground in font of her.
"What do you mean?" What do you mean you have to leave me again?
His eyes are brimmed with tears "Sakura, before I leave…tell me…D-Do you really love me?" He cradles her cheeks within his now transparent hands
She felt her hot tears fall to her lap, she sees his begging face. She loved him, she was so sure she did, It feels so much like love, and it was, She loved him and she wanted to desperately say that she did, the moments they shared , that was all love, she wanted to hold him, protect him, tell him that she would miss him if he leaves and that he should come back.
But it would never happen , because that wasn't the love she needed, Sasuke could never give her the love she wanted, the love that engulfed you in its flames, the love that was endless like the sky full of stars, the love where you both can deeply understand each other. But this time, she didn't want to lie, this time she wanted him to know the truth
This time, she wants him to understand
Her hands started shaking; She started to sob "I'm so sorry".
Sasuke's body stiffened.
"I'm so sorry Sasuke-kun…I can't say that" Sakura wrapped her hands around his body, begging him to not leave again.
"But why" Sasuke chocked out, the tears formed beneath his lashes and fell ruthlessly, he could feel his heart ripping out.
She looked into his hurt eyes, begging him to forgive her. "You said you loved me" His voice cracked.
"I do, that's why I don't want to lie, I love you but-"
"But it's not enough" He spoke softly, brokenly.
She sighed painfully, tasting the salty tears fall on her lips. "Don't you see Sasuke-kun, it was never enough, sometimes, love isn't enough".
Sakura watches as the man before her grows translucent, He grows hollow and hollow, clear like a sheet of glass. With every second, like a blink of an eye, he grows fainter. The sun peeks through and he glows bright. He was disappearing, and all she could do was watch and cry, beg him to not leave.
The rosette stretches; she cups his cheek and lets her lips meet his for the last time. His tears fall and hers do too.
"I'll miss you Sasuke-kun"
He gives her a small smile, it was a sad one, filled with despair and hurt.
But it was still beautiful
"I'll miss you too"; was his reply, and he was gone.
She breaks down, clutching the clothing on her chest, right above her heart. It hurt so much.
"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun" She mumbles over and over again and cries with nothing but the cold wind to comfort her.
/
The sun was long gone. The rain stopped. Somehow, It was a clear night.
Sakura was at the garden again, her black dress dried from the rain. Her eyes were swollen and red. She sat at the concrete porch, the cold night wind rustled the leaves and the flowers beautifully danced under the moonlight. She glanced at the stars; there were tons of them, sprawled across the sky, decorating it with its magnificent sparkle.
. She wasn't supposed to feel alone, the wind, the flowers, the stars, the moon. They were all there. She never felt alone, but somehow, she did now.
It felt so bitterly sweet, the loneliness drowned her, made her feel so hollow and empty.
But somehow, it all felt so right.
It was a long day, the soft winds made her close her tired eyes, and the familiar memory pushed its way through her mind.
The same garden, years ago, the same crying little girl, with messy pink hair covering her tearful face.
A boy emerged, his pale face mussed with ebony-black hair, familiar wide curious eyes staring back.
He smiled his brilliant smile, "Are you lost?"
She felt her heart shudder, "Are you an angel?", She found herself repeating the same words.
The boy laughed, it was more carefree and innocent. "No, but I know the way home, come on", He reached his small hands towards her.
Because she's selfish, Sakura smiles, letting her hand intertwine with his, giving it a small squeeze.
Because sometimes, love isn't enough.
/
I tried.
Ashj;'bk;'jqksjkwhis
(cries)