A/N: Hey guys. Don't worry. Here to Assist is still happening but this one is special. I decided that I would write a two-shot for my 900th follower of HTA. It's still overwhelming to think that so many of you actually like my writing. Anyway, this is for all of you who continued to support me. So congratulations SantoNaranja and thanks for the awesome prompt, even though I strayed away from it a little...I think. Anyway I hope it's to your liking.
"Mm. That was an excellent dinner, Maura."
"Thank you, Ja-"
"Well she's an amazing cook." Jane grumbled cutting Maura off. "Everyone knows that."
She was sitting across from Jack, Maura's new boyfriend, as they all sat around the medicalexaminer's dinner table. As much as Jane cared about Maura and what made her best friend happy, she really didn't want to be here. This whole situation just
pissed her off to no end. First her mother guiltsher into this dinner, then bails on her for a date with Cavanaugh, and now Maura was all but ignoring her.
And on top of all of that Jack was now staring at her with a stupid amused smirk on his face. "What's so funny?"
"It's just…" He points at her dinner plate which was still half full compared to the other two relatively empty plates. "I could disagree based on the amount of food still in front of you."
Jane's glare turned into an eye roll as she stabbed a piece of chicken and dramatically placed it in her mouth. "Happy now?"
"Jane," Maura discouraged. She couldn't helpbut to notice how incredibly unpleasant the brooding brunette had been all night. Whenever Jack asked Maura a question Jane almost always jumped in with a condescending remark. Every time he would say
something remotely sweet to the blonde, Jane would scoff and dismiss it by changing the subject.
"What, Maura?" When Jane only received a hard look she focused her eyes back on her wine glass.
"Um…" Jack said after a short awkward period of no one making eye contact. "Maybe sometime you can teach me how to cook. I can barely boil water."
"Really?" Maura laughed.
"Yeah. I usually give up around the middle of it and order take out. I have absolutely no stamina for cooking."
"That is defiantly something we can work on."
"Hm. Maura's stamina is through the roof." Jane stated pushing her mashed potatoes around with her fork. "But I guess you already figured that out last night, right?" At Jane's suggestive tone Maura went to admonish her but didn't get a chance to before
Jack stepped in.
"I'm sorry. Did I do or say something to upset you, detective?"
"What would make you say that, professor?"
Scoffing, Jack placed his glass down on the table and straightened a little in his chair. "You've been completely rude to me since you arrived."
Simply shrugging her shoulders Jane said, "Well, Jackson, it could be the way you were sucking my best friend's face when I got here or the way you've been staring at her boobs all night."
An embarrassed flush covered his face and he immediately went to defend himself glancing at Maura. "I have not."
"Yeah, you have." She said turning her now dark gaze on him. "But you know. God… I think it's probably just your dumbass hair."
Raising his eyes to examine her wild curls, Jack raised his eyebrows. "Well, I could say the same thing about your hair."
Maura's head shifted from one brunette to the other. She knew why Jane was acting this way, but it wasn't her fault. It wasn't a reason to act like apetulant child. Maura just hoped that the woman wouldn't say something she would later regret.
"Yeah, well Maura seems to like my hair." Then looking over to said woman she mumbled, "Especially when it's between her legs and she's pulling on it." And there it is, Maura thought as she nearly choked on her own tongue.
"What did you say?"
"Okay!" Maura said finally regaining function of her lungs and standing to her feet. "I'm going to bring out the dessert. Jane, will you assist me, please?" Without so much as a second glance let alone an answer, Maura walked the few steps from her dining
table to the kitchen with Jane hot on her heels.
When they both reached the cake on the furthest end of the counter Maura turned swiftly around to Jane and whispered harshly. "What is wrong with you?'
"I think you know exactly what's wrong with me." She shot back.
They stared tensely at each other before Maura stood taller and poked Jane in the chest. "This needs to stop. Why should I be subjugated to your foul mood when what happened was completely your decision?"
"My decision?" Jane whispered loudly. She glanced over her shoulder at Jack who was sitting, staring at his phone and pretending not to be listening. Stepping closer to Maura she lowered her voice. "It's not like you gave me much of a choice."
"Oh please. You had a choice…plenty of chances Jane. At least now I don't have to hide adoration for my lover."
Jane grimaced at the word. "Is that all? You get to go hold hands down the street and steal kisses in the coffee shop?"
"Jane."
As the brunette's voice began to get louder she looked over to Jack who was now standing at the window looking out at the storm which was progressively worsening by the minute; seemingly heightening in tune with the furious thumping of the two women's
hearts.
"Maura, I love you." The smaller woman snapped her head back to Jane and swallowed thickly. For the first time that night Maura could hear nothing but sincerity in the timber of her voice. "Please…" she placed one hand on Maura's waist and let the other
gently cup the woman's delicate jaw. "Please don't make me stop."
And truthfully she didn't want her to. Maura thought back to when they first started dating fivemonths ago. Jane had wanted to keep it a secret at first. Having feelings for a woman past basic attraction was new to the brunette and so Maura accepted
her request for secrecy. As time went on more and more opportunities were presented for Jane to publicize their relationship by coming out to her family and friends. However the words, "Soon, sweetheart. I promise." became routine.
Still wanting to be the supportive girlfriend that anyone in this situation would want, she went along with it…until she didn't. Maura was profoundly in love with Jane. She wanted to kiss her girlfriend goodbye in the bullpen. She wanted to hold hands
walking to the café and snuggle close to her after Sunday family dinner. But she couldn't and she was beginning to feel insecure about their relationship. Did Jane not want to be seen with her? Did she really want a relationship?
All of this came to a head nearly a month and a halfago in the most explosive argument they'd ever had. It ended with Jane still in the closet and Maura breaking things off claiming she wouldn't be anyone's dirty little secret anymore.
A few weeks after that is when she metJack and her ex-girlfriend's attitude became decidedly unpleasant to everyone in her family and at BPD. Taking a deep breath Maura looked down to gather herself. Thunder outside rumbled like a stampede of elephants
and lighting flashed like strobe lights at a rave. Looking up into dark eyes she stumbled over words.
"Jane. I-"
"Maura?" Jack called.
The woman in question took a second to compose herself before stepping out of Jane's hands to stand at her side. "Yes…sorry. The cheesecake will be right out."
Looking over to Jane who still had her back to him, Jack sighed. "Actually, I should probably head out." That finally got the brunette to turn around slowly with her eyes still down casted.
"No…um. I'll go. You guys enjoy your dessert." The taller woman barely got two steps toward the door before she felt a small hand tighten around her wrist. Looking up to Maura in confusions she could see the silent pleading in her hazel eyes.
Turning back to Jack, Maura cleared her throat. "It is getting pretty nasty outside." And that was all she said. His eyes drifted from one woman to the other before landing on Maura. His eyes seemed to hold understanding as he nodded his head and
slowly made his way to the door as if waiting for Maura to stop him.
"Goodbye, Maura." Finally reaching the door, he looked back and they shared a knowing look. When no words were uttered he finally left with an empty promise to call her tomorrow and left the women in silence. He knew he wouldn't call. And he knew Maura
wouldn't either.
Maura hesitantly turned to face the taller woman who was looking down at her.
"I meant what I said, Maura. I'm…" shyly interlocking her fingers with Maura's, Jane focused on the difference between Irish and Italian skin. "I'm still in love with you."
A few moments passed before Maura brought Jane's hand up to her lips and placed a small kiss there. "I know."
"And I don't think I will ever not be in love with you."
"I'm still in love with you too, Jane. But," looking down at their hands she covered the brunette's scar, encasing her long tanned fingers between her perfectly manicured hands. "We're not a match."
The brunette felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. "What? How can you say that?" Jane stepped closer placing a finger under Maura's chin and forcing their eyes to connect. "There is no one else for me…You know that. Right, Maura?"
The shorter woman closed her eyes tightly and jerked her chin away but didn't make an effort to create space between their bodies.
"Jane when we were together, I felt like…like…" Maura shook her head at her inability to create a complete sentence. Her emotions were so scrambled it was hard to even finish a single thought before jumping to the next.
"When you wouldn't come out I didn't feel like you really wanted me. And I know I shouldn't feel that way because coming out to a Catholic family is hard enough. You didn't need me putting more pressure on you. It's just…sometimes I felt like a toy to
play house with when everyone else had their own playdates."
"No." Jane said demandingly as she pulled her hands free before placing them on either side of Maura's head. "Please. I never ever meant for you to feel like I was trying to hide you because I wasn't. I was trying to hide me."
Maura bit her lip, finally releasing two tears simultaneously. "You once told me that I was the best part of you." She said as if that would explain everything.
"And you are. You gotta believe me, Maur. I never meant to hurt you."
"That may be but…Einstein once said that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity."
It took Jane a second to realize what Maura meant by this random tidbit but when she did she rushed to reassure her. "I won't do it again, Maura. I promise."
"See, Jane." Maura whined pulling herself away from the taller woman and walking a few feet away from her with her head in her hand.
"I won't. I will come out…to Ma, Frankie, Tommy, hell the entire BPD if you want-"
"Jane Rizzoli, how many times have I heard that?" Maura raised her voice and laughed sardonically. "How many times have you made that promise? I know you have to take time with these things, which makes me feel even worse about not being able to give
you more time! I just…I can't-…Jane what are you doing?"
The brunette moved around the room rummaging through every crevice. When she reached the couch she hurriedly tossed the pillows around, digging between the cushions until finally she found it. Typing a few buttons and holding the phone up to her ear she
waited with bated breath for the person on the other line to pick up. Maura watched in wonderment. Is she really making a phone call right now? Why would she do that? Unless…
"Hello? Yeah Ma, its Jane." Maura felt her mouth go dry as she cautiously walked toward the woman. "Yeah. I know you're on a date. I'm sor-…wait. Actually is Cavanaugh at the table now?"
"Jane." Maura said when she finally reached her only to be given a small smile.
"He is? Good. Put me on speaker phone. I have something to tell both of you."
"No. Don't." Maura said as her eyes grew wider at what the brunette was about to do.
"Listen Ma...I've been needingto tell you this for a while now but I was too scared. Yeah, Ma just listen. I'm ga-"
Before she could get the remainder of the admission out of her mouth the phone was pulled away from her face. Not expecting Maura to grab the phone made it easier to take it from the taller woman. Stepping a few paces away Maura threwthe phone to
the other side of the room as if it was on fire.
Wide eyed Jane turned back to Maura after watching her phone sail across the living room. "What the hell, Maura? I thought that's what you wanted."
"How could I possibly want that?"
Jane simply blinked before a sort of agitated laughter filled the air and she ran her fingers through her hair stumbling backwards. "You literally said…I…you. What!?"
Feeling suddenly guilty and misunderstood Maura walked over to the woman and clasped her hands together. "I mean I do. I want you to. But not like that, Jane. I guess I want..." When Maura paused closing her eyes the brunette held her around the wrists
commanding her attention.
"Uh-uh. No, don't do that. Tell me, Maur. Tell me what you want. Please." Looking up into Jane's pleading eyes she didn't hesitate to lean up and finally let her lips graze Jane's dry ones.
"I want you to want me. I need to hear it, Jane." She sobbed.
"Maura Isles." She said leaning only her head back to see the woman in her arms. "I love you. More than anyone in this world. I am so sorry that I wasn't brave enough to show you. Show everyone. From now on I will make sure you know how much I need you…And
how much I want yo-" Finally sealing their lips together, Maura groaned loudly.
She'd missed this. The warmth of Jane's body against hers. Long arms reached around to circle around her back and she fell deeper into the woman's chest. She could feel tears leaking out of Jane's eyes and she could taste the salt of their combined relief.
I'm sorry. They repeated back and forth to each other between wanting kisses. When they finally pulled back with their heads still pressed firmly together Jane was the first to speak.
"I think," the burst of air against Maura' cheek was enough to send a shiver down her spine. "I think the lights went out." Sliding her eyes open Maura glanced around to see that the storm had actually knocked the electricity out.
She heard Jane chuckle and she ducked her head into the crook of the detective's neck to feel the vibration trembling from her chest. They stood that way swaying to the sound of the wind against the window pane and the trees rustling loudly outside.
"I suppose we should light some candles?"
"Candles?" Jane asked. Having the smaller woman in her arms again felt like taking some kind of substance. She was temporarily subdued and confused about why the woman would want to light candles. Looking around, Jane shook herself a little. "Oh, candles."
"Yes." Maura started looking in all of the drawers in the living room. Laughing to herself, Maura finally gave up on her search. "Seems as if your mother has taken all of my candles for all of her dinners with Lieutenant Cavanaugh. She turned to see Jane
in the same spot looking down and picking at her finger nails and instantly realizing that that was a nervous habit of Jane's she walked up to the woman but didn't say anything. Just stared.
"Actually, maybe we could leave the lights out. I was wondering if…" Lifting the woman's chin Maura smiled up at her and raised her eyebrows. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
She and Maura belonged together and she just hated the time they'd lost. It was never about Maura. It was always about her fear. She smiled thinking about their last conversation. Their fight. Maura had used her own line on her; We don't give into fear. And
she wouldn't give in. Not anymore.
Jane swallowed thickly and she could feel her ears begin to burn. "I want to make love to you, Maur." Maura looked down to Jane's lips and let her eyes continue to run down the taller woman's body. Without hesitation the blonde woman took Jane's hand
in hers. She kissed it before turning and leading her around the corner toward her bed room.
A/N: Chapter 2 soon!