Coming Clean

The rain poured, babies screamed, restless children wandered around aimlessly as their mothers tiredly tried to coax them back to their seats. It seemed like they were going to be on this train forever

As the young woman stared down at her sleeping baby she remembered how this had all begun

Lets go back

Back to the beginning

Back to when the earth, the sun the stars all aligned

" Do you take this man to be your Husband, to love and to hold, in sickness and in health through the good times and the bad till death does you part"

She looked up into his eyes, he loved her, and she loved him. So why didn't this feel right?

She took in a deep breath and Inwardly screaming she smiled "I do"

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect

Trying to fit a square into a circle was no life

I defy

Tears streamed down her cheeks as he stood over her accusingly

"Where do you think your going"?

She looked up from her duffel bag " Does it really matter, as long as I'm gone"

He threw his hands up in the air and she inwardly flinched "of course it bloody matters your taking our child with you, I think I have a damn well right to know"

He ran his fingers through his hair a took a deep breath

"Why are you doing this"? He asked somewhat desperately " Why are you always doing this"?

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams

Let it wash away my sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder

I wanna scream

Let the rain fall down I'm coming clean

I'm coming clean

It was wrong from the start, now she could openly admit that and accept it. In their world, their cocoon that they had created far from the outside world. They could keep everything as perfect as they liked. She could finally be at peace with him and her family if they were together. It worked out well for everyone, everyone was truly happy, everyone except her.

I'm shedding
Shedding every colour
trying to find a pigment of truth beneath my skin

She remembered when he had said that if they had a baby, then it would make the perfect ending, something inside of her that had been searching for something, anything to make things better had believed him. And even though she would never regret having Charlie, it was the wrong choice, with the wrong person at the wrong time. But once again everyone was happy, everyone but her.

Woah,
'Cause different
doesn't feel so different
and going out is better
than always staying in
Feel the wind

When she had a baby, she did change. The maternal instinct came quite naturally to her, much to the relief of him and her family. But while she accepted this newness in herself, she was still the same restless Mary as she had been as a teenager.

She never would quite understand why everyone wanted herto change, why they never loved her and accepted her theway she was. She was different yes, she wasn't perfect, and she made mistakes, big mistakes. But she refused to live in the mundaness of life and the fake perfection that she had been raised in. She didn't want that for Charlie.

She wanted him to have the freedom of making mistakes, without everyone is his world coming against him.

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams

Let it wash away my sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder

I wanna scream

Let the rain fall down I'm coming clean

I'm coming clean

She stroked his head lovingly; she was doing it for him mostly.

But somewhat for herself to. If living a life of mistakes and learning from them meant being considered insane by everyone around her.

Then that was ok

Anything was better than sanity

Oh, coming clean
Oh, coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall down

Hmm...oh oh oh

Let's go back
Back to the beginning