Disclaimer: All of the characters and events in this fanfic, even those that are from live-action TV shows, are entirely fictional. For example, Beavis and Butthead are not real people. In fact, they're not even human. (or are they?) They are just stupid cartoons made completely by this Texas guy who does random stuff for no apparent reason. Beavis and Butthead are dumb, foul-mouthed, inconsiderate, unpleasant, chauvinist, self-destructive fools. All voices are impersonated… poorly… Some of the things the characters do could cause a person to get wounded, ill-treated, under arrest, disqualified, possibly exterminated. To put it in another way, don't try some of those things at home. The following fanfic contains coarse language, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.
(The Babysun laughs as it rises over the hills, then the theme song prepares to start playing with a glockenspiel and a detuned whistle. The sun giggles and laughs as the song gets stronger and then after a few more seconds, the screen fades to white, then back to normal as the camera pans onto the Superdome)
Over the hills and far away, Teletubbies come to play.
One…
(Tinky Winky jumps out of the Superdome)
Tinky Winky: One!
Two…
(Dipsy jumps out of the Superdome)
Dipsy: Two!
Three…
(Laa-laa jumps out of the Superdome)
Laa-laa: Three!
Four!
(Finally, Po jumps out of the Superdome)
Po: Four!
(The Teletubbies laugh and then dance when the Teletubbies logo inflates)
Teletubbies!
(TADA! The logo deflates after the music does that. Then the theme song plays as the Teletubbies are seen running around Teletubbyland, then a talking speaker rises)
Speaker: Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies!
Tinky Winky,
Tinky Winky: Tinky Winky!
Dipsy,
Dipsy: Dipsy!
Laa-laa,
Laa-laa: Laa-laa!
And Po!
Po: Po!
Teletubbies
The Teletubbies: Teletubbies!
Say hello!
The Teletubbies: Ah-oh!
Tinky Winky,
(Tinky Winky and Dipsy bump into each other)
Dipsy,
Laa-laa,
(Laa-laa and Po bump into each other)
and Po!
Teletubbies!
The Teletubbies: Teletubbies! Big hug!
(The theme song stops playing before the windmill can spin)
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh!
(The Teletubbies run off whilst a random waltz plays. A few seconds later, a speaker rises)
Speaker: Where have the Teletubbies gone?
(The Babysun laughs, then the episode begins. It starts with Tinky Winky running onto the screen)
Tinky Winky: Ah-oh!
One day in Teletubbyland, something appeared from far away.
(A pipe from Super Mario Bros. rises)
Tinky Winky: Wassat?
It was a pipe!
(Mario comes out of the pipe)
Mario: It'sa me, Mario!
(Luigi follows Mario)
Luigi: Anda Luigi, too!
Tinky Winky: Ah-oh! Play with Tinky Winky?
Mario: We'rea nota here to playa any games, youa biga baby! Wea havea friends on oura side! Youra ona the bada side, whilsta we'rea ona the gooda side! Leta me example! Wea have a 3-pack ofa hyenas who eata Teletubbies!
Tinky Winky: Uh-oh!
(Mario does a loud whistle, then the hyenas, Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed from the Lion King pounce at Tinky Winky)
Oh no! Poor Tinky Winky! He's getting hurt by some naughty hyenas! Naughty Mario!
Shenzi: Well, well, well, Banzai. What have we got here?
Banzai: Hmm. I don't know, Shenzi. Uh... what do you think, Ed?
(Ed laughs, then the Babysun laughs too)
Mario: I'ma don'ta like howa thata sun isa watching us!
Luigi: Mea neither!
(The hyenas circle around Tinky Winky)
Banzai: Yeah, just what I was thinking. A fat alien with a giant belly button.
That was very naughty of the hyenas to call poor Tinky Winky fat!
Shenzi: Do you know what we do to aliens who live in a world of magic?
Oh dear! Poor Tinky Winky had no choice but to run away from the hyenas!
Tinky Winky: Naughty hyenas! Uh-oh! Run away!
Banzai: It doesn't matter how far you run, Tinky Winky!
Shenzi: Yeah, what's the hurry? We'd looove you to stick around for dinner!
Banzai: Yeaaah! We could have whatever's… "alien" around! Get it? Alien around?
(The hyenas laugh, then the Babysun laughs as well)
Banzai: SHUT UP, YOU HOT BABY!
Shenzi: Oh wait, wait, wait, I got one, I got one. Make mine a "sun" sandwich. Whatcha think?
(The hyenas laugh)
Mickey Mouse: It's getting kinda hot in here! I'd best get outta here!
(Mickey Mouse jumps out of the pipe)
Mickey Mouse: Hi there, pal! I'm Mickey Mouse! Pleased to meet ya!
Tinky Winky: Uh-oh! Mickey Mouse?
(Mickey Mouse injures Tinky Winky with marbles)
Oh dear! Poor Tinky Winky! Mickey Mouse is hurting him!
Mickey Mouse: That's what happens to aliens who mess with the target demographic!
Tinky Winky: Tinky Winky helpless!
Banzai: You said it!
Mickey Mouse: That's right! I joined forces with Mario in order to feel revenge on you! Your show made us lose ratings very quickly! Now it's payback time!
(The Babysun laughs)
Mickey Mouse: Gosh! What's with this sun laughing at us? Whatever it is, it's kinda annoying!
Mario: Oura thoughtsa exactly!
(Dipsy trots along)
Dipsy: Bupatum bupatum bum bum bum! Bupatum bupatum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum! Bupatum bupatum bum bum bum!
Tinky Winky: Ah-oh, Dipsy!
Dipsy: Ah-oh, Tinky Winky! Why sound scared?
Tinky Winky: Mousy! Hyenas! Men! Try to kill Tinky Winky!
Dipsy: Uh-oh! No good!
Shenzi: That's right! We're trying to kill you, because you're just too weird!
Banzai: Sounds good to me, actually! What about you, Ed?
(Ed laughs, then the Babysun laughs)
Banzai: I said SHUT UP!
Oh no! Dipsy can't help Tinky Winky, because he's scared of the far away characters as well! Poor Tinky Winky and Dipsy!
(Woody Woodpecker jumps out of the pipe)
Woody Woodpecker: Guess who? Hoo huh huh heh heh! Hoo huh huh heh heh! Hoo huh huh heh heh! Heheheheheheheheheheh!
Tinky Winky and Dipsy: Uh-oh! Woody Woodenpecker?
(Woody Woodpecker pecks Tinky Winky and Dipsy)
Oh dear! Looks like this day in Teletubbyland doesn't feel good!
Woody Woodpecker: Didn't see that one coming, didya? My name's Woody Woodpecker, if you haven't remembered!
Tinky Winky and Dipsy: Tinky Winky and Dipsy scared!
Woody Woodpecker: And you look the part!
Oh no! Poor Tinky Winky and Dipsy are helpless!
(The Babysun laughs)
Woody Woodpecker: Hey, that thing just laughed at us!
Banzai: It's the sun, you moron!
Woody Woodpecker: And it laughed at us annoyingly! Even MINE are less annoying than it!
(Laa-laa trots along)
Laa-laa: Laa-laa-laa! Laa-laa-lalilalilaa-laa-laa! Laa-laa-laa! Laa-laa-lalilalilaa-laa-laa!
Tinky Winky and Dipsy: Ah-oh, Laa-laa!
Laa-laa: Ah-oh, Tinky Winky! Ah-oh, Dipsy! Why sound scared?
Tinky Winky and Dipsy: Woodenpecker! Mousy! Hyenas! Men! Try to kill us!
Laa-laa: Uh-oh!
Oh no! This is bad! Poor Tinky Winky, Dipsy and Laa-laa are all scared of the characters from far away!
Mario: Hallelujah! We'vea done ita again!
(Putt-Putt, Pajama Sam, and SPY Fox all jump out of the pipe)
Putt-Putt: Wowy Zowy! I remember these guys! They're Teletubbies… and they're trying to steal our fortunes!
SPY Fox: Someone's gotta put an end to their fantasy nonsense!
Pajama Sam: This looks like a job for…
(Pajama Sam grabs his cape and spins around)
Pajama Sam: …PAJAMA SAM!
Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa-laa: Uh-oh! Putt-Putt, SPY Foxie, and Pajamy Sam?
(Pajama Sam twists and twirls around Tinky Winky, Dipsy and Laa-laa, then Putt-Putt runs over them, and finally, SPY Fox uses his special gadgets to hurt them)
Oh no! This is just terrible! It is a sad day today in Teletubbyland! Some of Humongous' most famous characters is even plotting revenge on poor Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa-laa!
Putt-Putt: Good work, Sam!
Pajama Sam: My pleasure! Pajama Sam always helps those who are weak and helpless… except for Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa-laa!
Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa-laa: Not safe! Only one Teletubby left!
Pajama Sam: Wait, you're Teletubbies?
(Po trots along)
Po: Fi-dit! Fi-dit! Fi-dit! Fi-dit! Fi-dit! Fi-dit! Fi-dit! Ma-ma-man!
Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa-laa: Ah-oh, Po!
Po: Ah-oh, Tinky Winky! Ah-oh, Dipsy! Ah-oh, Laa-laa! Why sound scared?
Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa-laa: Car! Foxie! Boy! Woodenpecker! Mousy! Hyenas! Men! Try to kill us!
Po: Uh-oh!
Oh dear! None of the Teletubbies stand a chance against the characters from far away!
Shenzi: Give up, Teletubbies!
Mario: Hahaha! You'rea justa too babyish to facea us! Youa cannota beat us! But wait! There'sa more!
Noddy: WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!1
(Noddy jumps out of the pipe)
Noddy: WAHEY!
(Noddy giggles)
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh! Noddy?
(Noddy says magic spells against the Teletubbies)
Aww, poor Teletubbies! Noddy wouldn't behave this badly, wouldn't he?
Noddy: You know who I am, right? I used to be on the same channel as you were! I used to like you all, but NOT ANYMORE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHahHAHAHH AhAhAH!
The Teletubbies: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE DON'T BE MEAN! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEASE! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA!1
(The Babysun laughs)
Pajama Sam: What's that noise?
Banzai: It's the sun, idiot!
Pajama Sam: I wonder why it does that but it gets kinda annoying!
(SPY Fox turns on his SPY Watch)
SPY Watch: Please stand by.
(The watch changes signal to Monkey Penny)
Monkey Penny: Good to see ya, Agent Fox!
SPY Fox: Hi, Monkey Penny! I've arrived in Teletubbyland! A place of magic, story and things that go "ping"!
Monkey Penny: I can see quite clearly. Who lives in Teletubbyland?
SPY Fox: Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa, and Po.
Monkey Penny: Oh, so there are only 4 people that live in Teletubbyland?
SPY Fox: That's right!
Monkey Penny: OK, Professor Quack and I have made some special gadgets for you to stop the Teletubbies. Good luck, Agent Fox! Penny out!
SPY Fox: I'm on it, Monkey Penny!
Mario: Is ita gettinga cramped ina there?
X: Yes! Let us out!
Mario: Thisa isa an emergency!
(Mario presses the Emergency Jump button on the pipe and everyone comes out of the pipe)
Rayman: Phew! Finally!
Lofty: Oh! Umm! I can't go out there!
Bob the Builder: Don't worry, Lofty!
(Bob the Builder grabs Lofty's hook, then pulls it for Lofty to climb out)
Lofty: Oooh! Maybe it's not so bad after all!
Seta: Where are we?
Joey Wheeler: Uh… Teletubbyland, I think…?
Seta: BUT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE CARD BATTLE STADIUM! NOW WE'RE GOING TO MISS THE CHAMPIONSHIPS, YOU BASTARD!
Joey Wheeler: Nyeh?
Bandit Keith: This isn't America! This is Teletubbyland! I've heard that this place was set somewhere that isn't…IN AMERICA!
Knuckles: What is this place?
Sonic: This must be where all the Teletubbies live. It's called Teletubbyland.
Shadow: I'd bet I'd get some Chaos Control in here somewhere.
Cartman: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?!
Kyle: Teletubbyland, fatass!
Cartman: I'm not fat! I'm big boned!
Kyle: Who cares?
Kenny: Mmm mmm mmmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm m mm mmm!
Stan: You're right, Kenny! There's 4 Teletubbies in Teletubbyland, yet there's 4 of us!
Rocko: Spunky? SPUNKY! SPUNKY! Where's Spunky? Has anyone seen Spunky?
X: In there.
(X points to the Superdome. Rocko enters it, only to find Spunky being sucked up by the Noo-noo)
Rocko: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YY!1
Bandit Keith: It's time for some Bandit Keith fan service…IN AMERICA!
(Bandit Keith jumping kicks the Noo-noo. It explodes, but Spunky feels fine afterwards, but is very messy)
Rocko: You saved Spunky's life! Thanks, Bandit Keith!
Bandit Keith: You're welcome…IN AMERICA!
Rocko: Although there is one more thing I'd like you to do. Spunky is a bit dirty. Could you please clean him up for me?
Bandit Keith: No problem, because I'm an American, and Americans always agree with everything!
(Bandit Keith gets a scrubber out)
Wash wash wash. Wash wash wash. Tubby tubby tubby tubby wash wash wash.
Bandit Keith: Where the hell's this non-American music coming from? I'm an American, and I always prefer something that's more awesome than that…IN AMERICA!
(Cut back outside the Superdome to Beavis and Butthead)
Beavis: Hey, Butthead, what is this place?
Butthead: Uh… Teletubbyland.
Beavis: Yeah…you're right! Heheh!
Butthead: It's called that, because there are 4 Teletubbies in it. Uhuhuhuhuhu.
Beavis: Yeah. Heh! Pretty cool!
Po: Fi-dit! Fi-dit!
Butthead: Uhuhuhuhuhu. You said "Faggot"!
(Beavis and Butthead laugh, then the Babysun laughs)
Seta: I thought I heard a baby laughing! It must be the sun!
Bandit Keith: What's this non-American sound?
Seta: It's the sun!
Bandit Keith: That sun laughs like someone who isn't American!
Seta: You're right!
Arthur: My glasses can't believe they're in Teletubbyland!
Spongebob: Yeah, me neither! I remember on my trip to Spain that I was watching that show, and Tinky Winky sounded like me!
The Teletubbies: Teletubbies so scared! What Teletubbies do?
Shenzi: Nothing!
(The hyenas laugh, then the Babysun laughs)
Spongebob: I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! THAT SUN IS MORE ANNOYING THAN ME!
Patrick: Me too!
Croc: Me three!
Buzz: Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, come in Star Command. I have arrived in Teletubbyland. It looks a lot like Earth, but with a lot of differences. There are only 4 people, the sun has a face of a baby, and there are flowers that could talk to you.
Flowers: What are you doing here?
Woody: I've never seen anything like it…this must be Teletubbyland, but it seems that there are only 4 people here. Maybe it's a forgotten world we're in!
Jake: Wowy wow! We're in Teletubbyland! We used to be broadcast before them! It must feel weird to be in Teletubbyland!
Milo: You're right, Jake!
Bandit Keith: Hey! I know you! You had 2 videogames that weren't released…IN AMERICA!
Bella: Well, you're just a silly old man, Keith!
Bandit Keith: NOBODY CALLS ME AN OLD MAN! I'm an American!
Stimpy: Let me guess, Ren. We're in Teletubbyland, right?
Ren: Yep. The show that it was set in cancelled us!
Stimpy: Now it's payback time!
Ren: Yeah!
Barney: Ooh, this must be Teletubbyland! I've never killed anybody before, but it sounds like fun!
B1 and B2: Ooh!
B1: Oh! We don't know where we are!
B2: Maybe we're in Teletubbyland, B1!
B1: Correct, B2!
Mario: Are we alla here?
Everyone: Yes!
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh!
(The Teletubbies run off whilst a random waltz plays. Ed jumps up and starts gesticulating and jabbering)
Yugi: What, Ed? What is it?
Banzai: Hey, did we order this dinner to go?
Shenzi: No? Why?
Banzai: Because THERE IT GOES!
The Teletubbies ran away from those naughty characters, but they weren't so lucky! They came back with their favourite things and Dipsy threw his hat at Mario's hyenas. But…Uh-oh. Dipsy's hat was caught in mid-flight!
Dipsy: Oh no!
Those naughty hyenas had Dipsy's hat near a steam vent! Banzai is holding the hat! Oh dear!
Banzai: The little polka-dotted hat hippity-hopped all the way to the birdy boiler!
(He forces Dipsy's hat to the vent, and stuffs it into the vent, plugging it up)
Dipsy: Uh-oh!
(It shoots Dipsy's hat off in a puff of steam. The hyenas laugh)
Dipsy: Dipsy sad!
Mario: Geta them! Alla of you!
Oh no! Poor Dipsy's lost his hat! The Teletubbies are in a lot of trouble now! Everyone started chasing them! The hyenas darted around behind the Teletubbies and poked their heads through an active methane vent!
The hyenas: BOO!
(The hyenas laugh)
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh!
Po spinned her scooter around in circles to make Pajama Sam dizzy and caught in his cape, but he knew he could untie himself! Tinky Winky got a piece of Tubby Toast out of his bag, and threw it at Bandit Keith, but unfortunately, he was immune to toast! Everyone chased the Teletubbies up and over the hills, and the Teletubbies did a slide race down the other side! Laa-laa bounced her ball across Shenzi's cheek, drawing blood and distracting her while she and the Teletubbies escape! Shenzi became enraged! The hyenas pursued the Teletubbies quickly and cornered them by the Superdome door! Oh dear!
Tinky Winky: Tinky Winky be STRONG!
Shenzi: Oo-hoo…that was it? Hah! Do it again…come on!
(Tinky Winky opens his mouth to repeat what he said, but the windmill spins)
The hyenas: Huh?!
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh!
(The Teletubbies run off as magic sounds are heard)
Noddy: Hold on a minute! I know that sound! The Teletubbies are coming up with something! Quickly! They're heading for a clearing!
(The Teletubbies lie down on the floor. Their bellies light up second by second with a magical chime each)
Beavis: Oh, so that's why it's called Teletubbyland! The people there have TVs built in their stomachs!
Butthead: Yeah, uhhuhuhuuhhuhu! Maybe there'll be something cool on!
(Beavis and Butthead laugh)
Tinky Winky: Tinky Winky!
Dipsy: Dipsy!
Laa-laa: Laa-laa!
Po: Po!
(Dipsy's screen lights up as the camera pans into his belly)
Dipsy: Uh-oh!
Beavis: Cool! Heh! Let's watch!
(Switch to a live action house. It is raining outside)
Adam: Hello. My name is Adam, and today, I'm going outside to splash in puddles!
Beavis: DAMNIT! I thought it was going to be a GWAR video, not a video about a kid!
Butthead: Yeah! This just sucks!
Adam: I'm going to need a raincoat…
Butthead: Uhuhuhuh! Wussy!
Adam: …and some Wellington boots.
Butthead: Uh…thanks, Captain Obvious!
Adam: I am all ready!
Beavis: Oh, god!
Butthead: Look at his face!
Beavis: He's got a crack in his jimmy!
Butthead: I think it's his little butt crack!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh! I guess it would make sense if I could watch his diarrhoea come out of his mouth!
Butthead: Yeah! Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! When this kid was passing out butt cracks, he got in line twice!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh! And then God gave another one to him the second time!
(Beavis and Butthead laugh)
Adam: That one was pretty small.
Beavis: Then splashing in that one would suck!
Butthead: Yeah! Uhhuhuhuhuhu! It's a baby's first puddle!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh! I think it's for ages 1 to 4!
Butthead: Dumbass! This show is meant for ages 1 to 4 as well, you know!
Beavis: Oh yeah! Heheh!
Adam: I mustn't try to get my clothes too wet!
Butthead: Neither mustn't I! I've been wearing the same shirt for about 5 years, and I mustn't get it wet because I like Metallica!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh! I've been wearing mine for about 18 years, ever since I was a baby!
Butthead: Uh…you liked ACDC as a baby, Beavis?!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh! A baby can love rock music, too, you know!
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis!
Adam: WOAH! THAT'S A REALLY BIG ONE!
Butthead: Uh, why don't you just jump in it?
(Adam jumps into the big puddle)
Butthead: Uhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! That was cool!
(Beavis and Butthead laugh, then air guitar to Squeeze Box by the Who)
Adam: I got my clothes all wet! I'll have to have a bath, now! Byebye!
(Camera pans back to the Teletubbies. They wave goodbye)
The Teletubbies: Again again!
Beavis and Butthead: No way!
Everyone: NO!
(Camera pans to Dipsy's belly, and the video is shown again, much to everyone's shock. Especially Beavis and Butthead's)
Butthead: Damnit, Dipsy! Thanks a lot! We've seen all this crap before!
Beavis: Yeah, this sucks! And those butt-wipes think we should actually sit here and watch the same crap over and over again?
Butthead: Reruns suck!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh! We never get reruns in Britain!
Butthead: If we watched this video again, we'd be far too bored!
Beavis: This is another reason why we hate the Teletubbies so much, Butthead!
Butthead: My thoughts, Beavis!
Beavis: Like how we hate that annoying sun laughing at us!
Butthead: Dumbass! Our laughter was driving the school mad, too!
Beavis: At least it's not amination! Amination sucks!
Butthead: That's because you do, sucker!
Beavis: Are you talking to me?
Butthead: uh…
Beavis: Nobody tells me that I suck! It's them that sucks!
Butthead: I suck?
Beavis: Yeah! Heh! That's what I tell people who tell me that I suck back!
Butthead: You suck!
Beavis: No, you suck!
Butthead: You're a word!
Beavis: No, you are!
Butthead: I hate words!
Beavis: Words suck!
Adam: I got my clothes all wet! I'll have to have a bath, now! Byebye!
(The video ends again, and then the Babysun laughs)
Seta: That sun is starting to annoy me! Let's go kill it! I summon my Barrel Dragon! Barrel Dragon, eat that sun's face!
(The Babysun throws a crying tantrum as Seta's Barrel Dragon eats its face)
Seta: Huh! That should shut it up!
Oh dear! Seta's Barrel Dragon ate the sun's face up! The Teletubbies cried because they had no-one to laugh at their silly jokes!
The Teletubbies: TELETUBBIES SAD!
But then, it was time for Tubby Custard. Maybe that would take their mind off of the sun getting its face eaten up!
The Teletubbies: Tubby Tustard!
(The Teletubbies run into the Superdome. Ed then points to it)
Banzai: What now?
Mario: They'rea running fora cover again! Stopa them!
(The hyenas jump to the front of the Teletubbies)
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh!
Shenzi: Where do you think YOU'RE going?
Oh dear! The hyenas have stopped the Teletubbies! Now they'll be late for Tubby Custard!
Banzai: Want some custard? SYKE! You ain't going in that dome! We wanted that sun to stop annoying us!
Tinky Winky: TINKY WINKY UPSET!
Banzai: WHO CARES?!
Shenzi: The only Tubby Custard I can think of is… your blood!
The Teletubbies: Oh no!
(The hyenas laugh)
Tinky Winky: TINKY WINKY SCARED!
Poor Teletubbies! The hyenas really are going to kill them!
Bandit Keith: This is the best thing I've ever seen in my life…IN AMERICA!
Shadow: Serves those damn Teletubbies right!
Banzai: Wait, wait, wait, I got one, I got one! Instead of Tubby Custard, there should be Hyena Custard!
Shenzi: Yeah! We could have it with Hyena Toast instead of Tubby Toast! We could have our own face instead of the iconic smiley face they have in Teletubbyland!
(The hyenas laugh again)
Banzai: And if we ever make a mess, we could get the Noo-noo to clean it up!
Beavis: Wait, Tubby Custard is pink blood?
Butthead: Yeah! And Tubby Toast is a burnt butt crack!
(Beavis and Butthead laugh)
The poor Teletubbies are going to be served! Oh no! It really is a sad day today in Teletubbyland!
Po: Po so scared!
Laa-laa: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The Teletubbies: RUN AWAY!
(The Teletubbies run off whilst a random waltz plays)
Banzai: You're trying to get away from your new friends, are ya? You're trying to get away from us! You can't get away from a new friend! So, COME BACK HERE!
Mario: Aftera them!
Oh dear! Here we go again! (Guess where that comes from? -Writer) Everyone is chasing the Teletubbies again! They ran as fast as they could, but got no luck! The hyenas tried to bite the Teletubbies, but they just ran too quick and nimble!
The Teletubbies: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Bandit Keith: In your dreams…IN AMERICA!
Joey Wheeler: BROOKLYN RAGE!
Buzz: TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!
Milo: MILO AWAY!
Pajama Sam: PAJAMA SAM TO THE RESCUE!
Spongebob: JELLYFISHING!
The poor Teletubbies screamed and screamed when they all slipped up and fell down! Oh no! The poor Teletubbies were hurt! They screamed and cried and cried and screamed and screamed and screamed and cried and screamed and cried and cried and screamed and screamed and cried and cried and cried!
Mario: Takea thata, biga babies!
(The hyenas laugh and everyone else jeers at the Teletubbies as they cry and scream in agony, but then the windmill spins, and the Teletubbies get up just as their tears melted away)
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh!
(The Teletubbies run off, and then stop)
Mario: Waita, where dida they go?
(Ed points)
Mario: Followa them!
(Everyone follows the Teletubbies)
The Bear: I'm the Bear, I'm the Bear and I'm coming!
Spongebob: Oh no! That doesn't sound good!
Pajama Sam: Uh-oh! I don't like the sound of that!
Tanter: Ah! I can't watch this!
(The Bear comes in)
The Bear: I'm the Bear, I'm the Bear with brown fuzzy hair! I'm hiding from the Lion because he doesn't know where!
Kenny: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMM!1
(Kenny dies of being scared by the Bear)
Stan: OMG! The Bear with brown fuzzy hair killed Kenny!
Kyle: YOU BASTARD!
Cartman: Yeah! It's scary enough to kill us all! We're doomed! Doomed! DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDD!
(The Lion comes in)
The Lion: I'm the scary Lion, and I'm looking for the Bear! I know she's hiding, but I don't know where!
Yugi: GAH! OH NO! I'm suffering…a heart attack…
Yami Yugi: Oh no, please don't die!
Yugi: The Bear…and the Lion… are too scary… for me…
Yami Yugi: But you can't die!
Yugi: Please tell… my friends… I love them…
Yami Yugi: Yugi! You can't be dead! If you were dead, then PBS Kids would've censored it! Yugi! Yugi! Yugi!
(Clips from Yu-Gi-Oh are seen as Bright Eyes from Watership Down is played)
Arthur: My glasses are scared…my glasses are scared…
The Bear: Haha! You can't catch me!
Bandit Keith: I actually find this funny, because I'm an American, and Americans always decide what's funny or not…IN AMERICA!
Pajama Sam: No need to Hide when there's a Bear outside! No need to Hide when there's a Bear outside! No need to Hide when there's a Bear outside! Oh, I'm so scared!
Rocko: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYY!
(The Bear does a tongue blabber)
The Bear: UUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBLUBB LUBLBUKGBLLUBULBULBULBUBULBU LULB!
Joey Wheeler: BROOKLYN FRIGHT!
Mario: MAMA MIA! THE TELETUBBIES ARE BACKAFIRING! RUN!
(Everyone screams and runs to the Superdome. Once inside, some are seen crying, whilst others are seen shivering with fear)
Spongebob: Wow! I've never seen anything so scary!
Mario: Me neither!
Bob the Builder: Where's Lofty?
(Switch back outside the Superdome where Lofty is seen even more scared than usual)
Lofty: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEE EEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP PPPPPPPP! THE BEAR AND LION ARE GOING TO EAT ME ALIVE!
Bob the Builder: Don't worry, Lofty! I'll save you!
(Bob the Builder grabs Lofty's hook, and then drags it into the Superdome)
Lofty: You saved me!
Bob the Builder: I certainly did, Lofty!
Lofty: Oh! Um… I didn't like it! It was too scary!
Bob the Builder: Don't worry, Lofty! You're safe with us, now!
Turk: OK, Tanter, you can look, now. Just not outside!
Tanter: Phew, that was close!
(Tanter wipes the sweat off his forhead with his trunk)
Rocko: I think I'm gonna have nightmares all night long!
Beavis: Butthead… I'm so scared! Can I sleep at your house tonight?
Butthead: Stop whining, Beavis. You sound like a girl!
Shenzi: I've never been scared before!
Banzai: Me neither! What about you, Ed?
(Ed shakes his head)
B1 and B2: OOH!
B1: Oh! That's far too scary for us!
B2: Nevermind, B1. We're safe now.
B1: Alright, B2.
Pajama Sam: I would put a stop to their games of Hide and Seek, but I'd be too scared! I wonder what Pajama Man would do if he were here?
Buzz: Buzz Lightyear of Star Command! I have been attacked by a Bear and a Lion! They were both on skateboards! I never known a planet like this could be so dangerous!
Mario: I'ma think it'sa over, now! Leta me justa check!
(Mario peeks out of the Superdome)
The Teletubbies: Oh! Byebye, Bear! Byebye, Lion!
Mario: Phew!
The Teletubbies: Again! Again!
Mario: YIKES!
(Mario comes back into the Superdome)
Mario: It'sa not over! The Teletubbies wanta to watch it again!
Everyone: Oh no!
(Bandit Keith says "I don't believe this…IN AMERICA!" instead of "Oh no!")
Beavis: They want to scare us again?
Butthead: Yeah, you may want to lay low for a while, Beavis!
Noddy: Speaking of laying low, I feel tired! Why not we have a rest in some of the beds while we wait for the Bear and Lion to finish playing their game of Hide and Seek?
Mario: That'sa soundsa like a gooda idea, Noddy! We cana have a nap while we waita for a the Bear anda the Lion to tire ofa theira game ofa Hide anda Seek!
Noddy: I don't like lions, anyway!
Mario: Nighty night!
(Everyone lies down in the Superdome and falls asleep. Switch to Spongebob's dream first)
Announcer: Lions and Gentlebears! It's the Bear and Lion Show! Featuring the Bear and the Lion! Here are your hosts, the Bear and the Lion!
The Bear: I'm the Bear, I'm the Bear with brown fuzzy hair! I'm hiding from the Lion, because he doesn't know where!
Spongebob: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! GET AWAY FROM ME!
The Bear: Come back! You had a ticket to see this show!
Spongebob: I DIDN'T INTEND TO!
(Spongebob cries as the Bear makes silly faces around him)
Spongebob: I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!
The Lion: TOO LATE! I'm the scary lion, and I'm looking for the bear! I know she's hiding, but I don't know where!
Spongebob: I WANNA BREAK FREE!1 I'M GETTING OUTTA HERE!
(Spongebob jumps into Cartman's dream)
Spongebob: Cartman! I'm having a nightmare about the Bear and Lion!
Cartman: So am I! They're doing things wrong to me like making it rain frogs, burning people, and putting poison in food and drink!
Spongebob: Then, LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!
(Spongebob and Cartman jump into Noddy's dream)
Spongebob: Noddy! Noddy! We're having nightmares!
Noddy: I am, too! First, the Bear and the Lion stole my hat, then they stole my sixpence, and now they're stealing my car!
Spongebob: WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!
(Spongebob, Cartman, and Noddy all jump into Pajama Sam's dream)
Spongebob: Pajama Sam! We're having nightmares! Help us!
Pajama Sam: Can't! The Bear and the Lion are Pajama Man villains, and I'm not brave enough to stop them!
Spongebob: We must warn everyone!
(A few moments later, everyone wakes up)
Patrick: You've been in our dreams again, haven't you?
Spongebob: Sorry!
Rocko: Have the Bear and Lion gone, yet?
Mario: I'ma check!
(Mario peeks out of the Superdome, and nothing happens)
Mario: Coasta clear! But before we cana go outside, we needa to discuss a fewa things!
(Mario comes back into the Superdome)
Mario: Woulda anyone likea some Tubby Custard anda/ora Tubby Toast while we'rea at it?
(Some reply with a "No, thanks", whilst others reply with a "Yes, please". Almost everyone is seen with\without Tubby Custard\Toast, except the hyenas, who are otherwise seen drinking posh tea)
Oh no! Mario is coming up with a plan! It isn't good!
Mario: Okie dokie! Today'sa the day we say Byebye to the Teletubbies forever! They willa finally die anda never have anothera series again! So in ordera to stopa them dead ina their tracks, I'ma got a plan! We prepare oura weaponsa, first! Whena you're ready, go outside, anda then go anda geta rida them! We're gonna be mean, we're gonna be angry, we're gonna be- BEAVIS! YOU'RE OVERLOADINGA THE TOASTER!
Beavis: WHO CARES, PUNK!
(Beavis eats 27 pieces of Tubby Toast)
Beavis: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAYAYYAYAYAYA YYAAYAAAAAAAAdavyyvaDVYAVYDV YADvyADyavDvyADvyADVYadVYDAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA!
(Beavis drinks 6 bowls of Tubby Custard)
Mario: Anywho…
Beavis: BULBULBULBULBULBULBUBULBULBU LBLBLBULULBUBULBULBULBULBULB ULBULBULBULLBULBULBULAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA EEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH! Heh! MUUMCUKUKCUMKCUCUMKCCUMUKCMU KCMUKCCUKC!
Butthead: Quit your blurbling, Beavis! Uhuhuh!
Beavis: JAWAWAAAWAWWAWAWAWAWAWAWWAWA WWAWAA AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Beavis goes into Cornholio Mode and moves left and right repeatedly)
Beavis: Nicaragua! Agua! Agua for my bunghole! Bunghole! Bung!
Mario: Beavis? Are you payinga attention to mya plan?
Beavis: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?! Heh! I AM CORNHOLIO! Heheheheheheheheh!
Mario: Oh, I'ma know thisa disguise ofa yours! Ita seemsa to be good for a the plan! Nowa, Cornholio willa also be finishing the Teletubbies, so leta him geta rid ofa them, anda then the Teletubbies willa be worma food! Anyone gota that?
Everyone: Yes!
Bob the Builder: Can we Kill it?
Everyone: YES WE CAN!
Lofty: Uh, yeah. I think so.
Mario: Let'sa go!
(Everyone comes out of the Superdome)
The Teletubbies: Uh-oh!
Mario: Yes, uh-oh! We've had enougha of youra "made ona drugs" humour! Anda now…It'sa time…for a…Tubby…
(Camera pans into Mario's eyes)
Mario: …Byebye!
Oh no! Poor Teletubbies! That plan actually worked! Everyone's killing the Teletubbies! Now that is a sad day today in Teletubbyland! But the Teletubbies knew that they should retaliate! They still have their favourite things! The Teletubbies attacked everyone else in a wall of teeth! The Man, the Old Woman, the Dancing Bear and the Silly Lady joined in, but Noddy and his little car charged! They were all flying everywhere! Mr. Wobbly Man followed Noddy! Rocko whacked a ship off Mario, and with a battle scream, Rocko joined the fray! He battled the other ships with his kung-fu techniques!
(Camera switch to Bakura being mauled by the Old Woman from Tea Party)
Bakura: NO! STOP THAT! GET OFF! GET OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Bakura is knocked off of the Teatable)
Noddy: Are you OK?
Bakura: What's that voice?
Noddy: I'm Noddy!
Bakura: I'm Bakura! I'm British!
Noddy: So am I!
Bakura: Can we be friends?
Noddy: Best friends forever!
Bakura: Hooray!
Bandit Keith: Hey! I know you! You also had 2 videogames that weren't released…IN AMERICA!
Noddy: That's very naughty!
Bandit Keith: Hey! You can't say that word near an American! That word's uncommon in-
Noddy: Behave!
Bandit Keith (under breath): In America…
Po ran from Shenzi! She hid behind the hills! Laa-laa was tied up behind the windmill! Po ran to the windmill for safety from those naughty hyenas!
Laa-laa and Po: HELP! HELP! Oh no!
(Laa-laa and Po speak in a whimpery tone as the hyenas lick their lips. Tinky Winky appears)
Tinky Winky: Ah-oh!
Banzai: Hey! Who's the fatso?
Tinky Winky: Tinky Winky mad.
Po: Uh-oh!
Tinky Winky: Tinky Winky mad!
Po: Oh dear!
Tinky Winky: TINKY WINKY MAD!
Po: Oh no!
Tinky Winky: TINKY WINKY NOT FAT! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Hooray! Tinky Winky slid down the hill and bumped into the hyenas! That should serve them right!
Tinky Winky, Laa-laa, and Po: Big hug!
(Mario face palms)
Buzz: TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!
Dipsy: Uh-oh!
(Buzz crashes into Dipsy with a laser blast)
Dipsy: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP !
Yugi: Thought you could have a victory, could ya? Well, too bad for you! I summon my Firesaur!
Tinky Winky, Laa-laa, and Po: Uh-oh!
(The Firesaur burns up Tinky Winky, Laa-laa, and Po)
Tinky Winky, Laa-laa, and Po: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Oh dear! The poor Teletubbies are not being very strong! They're in big trouble!
Mario: Do you give upa, Teletubbies? Don'ta worry, then! I'ma have somethinga special for a you!
(Mario presses the Release Blobby button. As Beavis comes out of the Superdome, Mr. Blobby jumps out of the pipe)
Oh no! It's Mr. Blobby from Live and Kicking!
Mr. Blobby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH AHHAHAHAHaHAHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAABLOBBYBLOBBYBLOBBYYOY OBBYOLYBOYBLOYBLOYOBLOBYLYOB LYOLYOBLBOBLBYOLBYLOBYLOBYLO YOBLBYLOBYLOYOBLYOBLBYOLBYLO BYLOBYOBYLOBYLOYOBLBYLOBYOBY OYOOOYYLOYOBLBYOLBYLOAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Beavis: I AM CORNHOLIO! IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME T.P., THEN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!
(Both Mr. Blobby and Beavis topple the Teletubbies, bundle over them, and then they attack them until they die)
The Teletubbies: Bye…bye…AAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCK KKKKKKKKKKK!
(The Teletubbies die, then there is a very long silence)
Everyone: HOORAY!
Oh no! The Teletubbies were gone! Sad, isn't it?
Mario: HERE WE GO! YOU DID IT! WELLA DONE, EVERYONE! Mya plan worked! You were pretty good! Anda thata deserves a special reward…FREE SIXPENCES FOR A EVERYONE!
(Everyone cheers as Mario hands sixpence out to everyone. Then a speaker rises)
Speaker: Time for Tubby Byebye! Time for Tubby Byebye! Time for Tubby Byebye!
Cartman: HOLY SHIT! I don't wanna go now! I just want to celebrate some more!
(Sappy music plays as everyone hids behind the hills)
Mario: We cana continue ina the morning, fatass!
Cartman: Nobody calls me fat! I want to celebrate some more, I want to celebrate some more, I want to celebrate some more! And WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS SAPPY MUSIC?!
(Music stops)
Mario: Cartman, ifa you don'ta geta down here ina 5 seconds, I'ma gonna Coin Puncha you!
Cartman: Shut up, fatass!
Mario: No, YOU are!
(Sappy music again)
Cartman: I'm not fat! I'm big boned!
Mario: You don'ta look biga boned, but I am!
Cartman: Yes I AM!
Mario: Oh, no you're not!
Cartman: Oh, yes I AM!
Mario: Oh, no you're not!
Cartman: Screw you guys, I'm going home!
The sun is setting in the sky. Everyone says goodbye.
(Sappy music gets happier as the credits roll)
Cartman: That plan sucked anyway!
(Cartman enters the pipe)
Spongebob: Jellyfishing tomorrow!
(Spongebob enters the pipe)
Yugi: And I'll be back to my old card gaming self!
(Yugi enters the pipe)
Mario: See you nexta time!
(Mario enters the pipe. Pajama Sam pops out of the pipe)
Pajama Sam: And the day is saved, thanks to Pajama Sam!
(Pajama Sam gets back into the pipe. Bandit Keith pops out of the pipe)
Bandit Keith: See you back home…IN AMERICA!
(Bandit Keith gets back in the pipe. Bob the Builder pops out of the pipe)
Bob the Builder: Well done, team! We can kill it!
(Bob the Builder gets back in the pipe. Beavis pops out of the pipe)
Beavis: WE ARE WITHOUT BUNGHOLES!
(Beavis gets back in the pipe. After Beavis gets back in, sappy piano music plays as the sun sets. The Ragdoll Productions logo is then seen, and the episode ends)
THE END, but that doesn't stop here.
(Switch to Anne Wood's office at Ragdoll Studios, Stratford-upon-Avon)
Boss of Ragdoll: ANNE! I WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE!
(Switch to the Boss of Ragdoll's office)
Boss of Ragdoll: IT APPEARS THAT YOUR STORY HAS SOME SCENES THAT ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR THE DEMOGRAPHIC WE'RE TARGETTING!
Anne: But it's not my fault!
Boss of Ragdoll: OH YES IT IS! YOU CAN'T ACCIDENTALLY ADD SOME MILD VIOLENCE IN SUCH AN UPBEAT, CHEERFUL KIDS SHOW!
Anne: But I didn't do anything! The rest of the story wasn't the way I wrote it! The story started off my way, but then suddenly it was ruined by some horrid, nasty writers, such as Walt Disney and Mike Judge! It's like my old schoolwork being scribbled on by a naughty boy!
Boss of Ragdoll: YOU WERE ALWAYS CAREFUL WITH THE DEMOGRAPHIC! WHY WEREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION?!
Anne: I WAS! The writers won't let me! They are just naughty, horrible, and rude!
Boss of Ragdoll: THEY WOULDN'T LET YOU THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER?!
Anne: I was GOING to, anyway! I hate getting my work ruined by such naughty writers! I quit!
Boss of Ragdoll: THAT'S IT, YOU'RE FIRED!
(Anne walks out, fuming)
Andrew Davenport: WAIT, I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!
(Andrew Davenport cries)
THE END
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