Giving In
AN:Hiya! Finally I'm back from my happy little vacation into the world of Celine Dion. I was listening to this song one time and it just hit me (literally. . .I still have the mark) HELGA! So anyway. . .this song is Giving In by Adema. Enjoy.
Disclaimer:I don't own anything but a notebook. That's enough for me. . .
****************************************************
(Will you, walk me
To the edge again
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you)
I am thinking about you. I bet you didn't know. You still don't know. You still don't. It's okay. . .I don't make it obvious. I just write in a little book everytime you walk by. I just follow you around everywhere. . .you just never notice. Just like everyone else. No one ever notices. Sometimes I think that that's what I do everything for. I do everything so that at least SOMEONE will notice me. Here I am, Helga Pataki, in a house that my parents have left empty for the night to celebrate their anniversary. That would make it easy for me to. . .NO! I'm not going to give in.
(Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you)
I walk into the living room. No lights are on, but my eyes are used to the darkness. On the table is a bottle of aspirin. It takes me a minute to stop looking at it. Maybe I should. . .it woould stop my hurting. No one would notice anyway.
(Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you)
Maybe I would be happier if I did it. Maybe people would notice me then. They could see the after effects of the destruction or my walls. A litte bit, anyway. No. . .I can't. People aren't worth it. They just aren't. I don't care if people nearly sit on me because they don't even see me in plain daylight. It's not worth it. . .it's not.
(Caught up, in life
Losing all my friends
Family has tried, to heal all my addictions
Tragic it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in to you)
I'm trying to convince myself. I'm just stressed out. That's all. It's just so hard. Now that Phoebe has Gerald she doesn't seem to need me anymore. We hardly ever talk, and she's starting to fall into the abyss of people that don't know I exist. Why am I always alone?
(Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you)
It's becoming clear as my eyes fall on the bottle of pain killers again. Phoebe, Arnold, my parents. . .do they even know I'm here? Would they care if i downed every single pill? I'm thinking of doing an experiment. Two, actually. First, would people notice if I'm gone, and second, how well do pain killers work. I mean, they are PAIN killers right? Well. . .I have pain. . .let's see if they can kill it.
(I look forward, to dying tonight
Drink till I'm myself, life's harder every day
The stress has got me
I'm giving in
Giving
Giving in now!)
I reach for the container, and easily twist the cap off. With the bottle in hand. . .and a set mind, I walk to the refridgerator and grab a soda. Here's to you, everyone. And in the name of science, I spill half the caplets into my mouth and wash them into and down my throat with the help or Dr.Pepper. Anytime now. . .
(Take me under
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm dying tonight
(I'm sick of all that faith)
Watch me crumble
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm crying tonight )
I lay on the couch, not sure of what I'm feeling. I think I am beyond pain physically. But I actually feel nothing emotionally. It's actually pretty refreshing, to feel nothing at all. Now that it's all done and irreversable though. . .I can't help thinking. So many times I told myself that I would not give in. Now here I am. . .waiting for death. Oh well. . .I'm killing the pain. Still. . .even as I reassure myself a tear slides down my cheek. I'm dying tonight.
(I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble)
The next day the newspaper has an eighty-six word summary of Helga G. Pataki's life, written by a friend who was very stricken by her death. It reads:
Helga never seemed completely satisfied by her surroundings. She may have covered up everything, but I saw her true side. She was a nice girl, but she was opressed by the public, and never noticed by everyone. I wish I had paid more attention to her even as I write this, and I'm sure I'll regret that for the rest of my life. She was a very inspirational girl, with a horrible and lonely life. The world will always be empty now. We'll miss her forever.
~Arnold of Central City High
AN:Hiya! Finally I'm back from my happy little vacation into the world of Celine Dion. I was listening to this song one time and it just hit me (literally. . .I still have the mark) HELGA! So anyway. . .this song is Giving In by Adema. Enjoy.
Disclaimer:I don't own anything but a notebook. That's enough for me. . .
****************************************************
(Will you, walk me
To the edge again
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you)
I am thinking about you. I bet you didn't know. You still don't know. You still don't. It's okay. . .I don't make it obvious. I just write in a little book everytime you walk by. I just follow you around everywhere. . .you just never notice. Just like everyone else. No one ever notices. Sometimes I think that that's what I do everything for. I do everything so that at least SOMEONE will notice me. Here I am, Helga Pataki, in a house that my parents have left empty for the night to celebrate their anniversary. That would make it easy for me to. . .NO! I'm not going to give in.
(Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you)
I walk into the living room. No lights are on, but my eyes are used to the darkness. On the table is a bottle of aspirin. It takes me a minute to stop looking at it. Maybe I should. . .it woould stop my hurting. No one would notice anyway.
(Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you)
Maybe I would be happier if I did it. Maybe people would notice me then. They could see the after effects of the destruction or my walls. A litte bit, anyway. No. . .I can't. People aren't worth it. They just aren't. I don't care if people nearly sit on me because they don't even see me in plain daylight. It's not worth it. . .it's not.
(Caught up, in life
Losing all my friends
Family has tried, to heal all my addictions
Tragic it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in to you)
I'm trying to convince myself. I'm just stressed out. That's all. It's just so hard. Now that Phoebe has Gerald she doesn't seem to need me anymore. We hardly ever talk, and she's starting to fall into the abyss of people that don't know I exist. Why am I always alone?
(Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you)
It's becoming clear as my eyes fall on the bottle of pain killers again. Phoebe, Arnold, my parents. . .do they even know I'm here? Would they care if i downed every single pill? I'm thinking of doing an experiment. Two, actually. First, would people notice if I'm gone, and second, how well do pain killers work. I mean, they are PAIN killers right? Well. . .I have pain. . .let's see if they can kill it.
(I look forward, to dying tonight
Drink till I'm myself, life's harder every day
The stress has got me
I'm giving in
Giving
Giving in now!)
I reach for the container, and easily twist the cap off. With the bottle in hand. . .and a set mind, I walk to the refridgerator and grab a soda. Here's to you, everyone. And in the name of science, I spill half the caplets into my mouth and wash them into and down my throat with the help or Dr.Pepper. Anytime now. . .
(Take me under
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm dying tonight
(I'm sick of all that faith)
Watch me crumble
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm crying tonight )
I lay on the couch, not sure of what I'm feeling. I think I am beyond pain physically. But I actually feel nothing emotionally. It's actually pretty refreshing, to feel nothing at all. Now that it's all done and irreversable though. . .I can't help thinking. So many times I told myself that I would not give in. Now here I am. . .waiting for death. Oh well. . .I'm killing the pain. Still. . .even as I reassure myself a tear slides down my cheek. I'm dying tonight.
(I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble)
The next day the newspaper has an eighty-six word summary of Helga G. Pataki's life, written by a friend who was very stricken by her death. It reads:
Helga never seemed completely satisfied by her surroundings. She may have covered up everything, but I saw her true side. She was a nice girl, but she was opressed by the public, and never noticed by everyone. I wish I had paid more attention to her even as I write this, and I'm sure I'll regret that for the rest of my life. She was a very inspirational girl, with a horrible and lonely life. The world will always be empty now. We'll miss her forever.
~Arnold of Central City High