'Padfoot?'
'Yeah?'
'What are you doing?'
'Nothing, but if you wanna go do something...'
'You only think of one thing, don't you?'
'I think about how much I love you.'
'…'
'…'
'I love you, too, Sirius. But we need to talk.'
'About what?'
'About our relationship.'
'Are you going to break up with me?'
'What? No! Of course not! Why would you even think that?'
'Usually when a girl tells me we need to talk, it's because she wants to break up.'
'Well, I don't know if you noticed, Padfoot, but I'm not a girl.'
'No, you are much better than a girl.'
'…'
'…'
'…'
'So, what did you wanna talk about?'
'Do you think we should them?'
'Tell who what?'
'James. Peter. About us.'
'I don't know.'
'Do you want to tell them?'
'Yes. No. Maybe. I don't want things to get weird.'
'I feel the same.'
'James won't mind. I mean, he already knows I like blokes and he's okay with that, so...'
'Yeah, but I'm not so sure about Peter. He's always a bit...'
'Anti-shirtlifter?'
'I told you not to call it that.'
'But that's what it is.'
'You can call it something else. Something less offensive.'
'What would you like me to call it? Queer? I could call us fairies? Or poofs?'
'No.'
'Pillow biter, then?'
'I'm not even going to respond to that.'
'Doughnut puncher?'
'…'
'…'
'Where did you even hear that one?'
'I don't know...'
'What about homosexual?'
'No, homosexual sounds too gay.'
'…'
'What?'
'Really, Padfoot? "Homosexual sounds too gay?"'
'…'
'That's lame.'
'No, it isn't.'
'Yes, it is.'
'No, it isn't.'
Yes it is.'
'No, it isn't. You know I'm going to win this, Moony. I am the king of persistency.'
'No, you're n... Padfoot!'
'What?'
'Stop distracting me.'
'What? I'm not distracting you.'
'Yes, you are!'
'Oh, do you really think this is distracting?'
'You're hand on my crotch? Yeah, I do think that is distracti-iing. PADFOOT!'
'Don't you like it?'
'Stop pouting. Of course I like it. But not if we are in the freaking LIBRARY!'
'Just be quiet then. No one else is here.'
'But...'
'Shush.'
'Sirius...'
'Quiet.'
'This is a bad idea.'
'…'
'Oh... Mmm... I... God...'
'…'
'Sirius... That feels so good...'
'…'
'I... I'm going to come, Padfoot...'
'…'
'Ooooh... Padfo-ooooooot. Fuckfuckfuck...'
'…'
'…'
'That was amazing, Padfoot. I love you.'
'I love you, too, Moony.'
'…'
'…'
'…'
'Remus?'
'Yeah?'
'I don't think we have to worry about telling James and Peter anymore.'
'Why not?'
'Because they are standing right there and I'm guessing they saw everything we just did, based on the looks on their faces.'
'Fuck.'