Ok first of all I just gotta say I am REALLY really excited for this. Hopefully I have the patience to actually finish this because Liu Shan x Xingcai is a REALLY small ship and I am surprised not many people are fans of it. So for the few fans who like this ship and even for those who don't, I hope you like it. If I change anybody's opinions on these two characters (let me know in reviews) then I will be a happy chappie oh yes I will XD

Goes without saying but I ain't KOEI and I don't these semi-historically based characters. All I own is a copy of the game they're in.

Chapter 1: Disrupted peace

Today was supposed to be a normal day for Xingcai. Wake, eat, train, sleep. Maybe a bit of chatter and study if she had time. That had been the schedule she had maintained for a couple of years now. Monotonous as it was predictable but she relished it. Predictability in a time like this meant peace, however fleeting. But on this day it was disturbed with a sudden announcement.

Most of the announcements she got of this nature related to the ongoing war. How she would need to participate in battle, that the forces were winning or losing or at a standstill. All of which disturbed the peace of the kingdom. But this announcement didn't disturb the kingdom's peace; it disturbed her personal peace.

That day, when her mother had announced that she was to become betrothed.

"Mother? Are you sure about this?"

"Why not? Don't you want to get married?"

"Mother, I have my duty to the kingdom. I am not only a general of Shu but I am bodyguard to the emperor. Is that not enough?"

"Which is why I allowed you to go and become a warrior, my daughter. But you must not forget you are still a woman." She paused slightly. "I do not want you to hang out around men for too long, should they decide to…"

"Mother, it will NOT come to that! I have a duty to the emperor. To the kingdom. To serve and protect them."

"Yes, but you must also follow the duty of your family! And that is to be married!" The lady Xiahou, mother of Xingcai, was on the verge of tears. Instinctively she hugged the doll in her hands. It was her way of comforting herself. "You must understand, Xingcai, soon you will be at an age where no man will marry you. You will be past your prime and you will be alone and shunned and—"

"I do not care." Xingcai interrupted. "If no man can see past my appearance then I shall stay a virgin for the rest of my life."

"Z-Zhang Xingcai!"

For a couple of seconds, it was an intense staring match between mother and daughter. Both refused to back down. But in Xingcai's mind, she knew she was just fooling herself. She had to be married. It was her destiny. A destiny she cannot fight no matter where she may go or whatever she does. She was the daughter of a powerful general and a well-to-do noble. And as much as she denied it, she was considered a beauty. Fair, smooth skin and ebony hair, a small waist and long legs. Just some of the things men found attractive.

No, she had to marry. But still…still…

"Mother." She announced sharply. "I will accept only on the conditions that I may choose who I shall wed."

"Sweetie, I—"

"You remember when you got married to father?" Xingcai interrupted. "Did you not have any…doubts about his marriage? About the rumours? And what he…did to you?"

Her mother was silent, looking down slightly at the floor, hugging her doll slightly. Though she had this strange youthfulness to her that made her seem almost childlike, it was in moments like these that Xingcai saw the adult in her mother. She could almost see it in her eyes, the memories of the arguments, the struggles to remain together, the scars he had inflicted on her—physically and mentally.

The memories regarding a dead man.

"I don't want that to happen, mother. Forgive me for my selfishness but I desire choice."

Her mother was silent for a second. "…I suppose I need some time to get some suitors, hmm?"

A bittersweet smile was shared between the two, fading as quickly as it appeared. Xingcai's eyes widened at the sudden epiphany that she will be late if she does not rush and quickly she is in movement, a sudden panic in her features. Knowing all too well what her daughter had to do, Lady Xiahou nodded slightly, a faint chuckle held back. Xingcai bowed slightly before leaving, her face already blank with determination.

And as she walked, the people she passed by smiled and waved back at her. And she would mimic that action in response. Though stern faced, she would give a polite smile. Yes, she was certainly well respected already. Years of training had brought her here. And it was inevitable that she would marry. After all, marriage was a societal norm, it was a fate that was inevitable whether you were man or woman. And who knew who she would marry? Not all the nobles she met were the snobby type who sucked up to others to only further their own greed. There were a few who were genuinely nice and who genuinely wanted to help bring peace to the land. Some were quite modest. Handsome even, for her particular taste. She should make the best of it, she decided, as her walk became more confident, marriage was unavoidable after all. And if she made the right choice, her marriage would be a fruitful and happy one.

And yet the small frown appeared regardless. The frown that appeared when no one was watching.

When she arrived at the courtyard, as always Liu Shan was not there. Not that that surprised her. She mentally scolded herself for not retrieving him directly—if memory served well, right now he should have just finished a lesson in his private library—but instead she just walked right here.

She tried to be rid of the conversation but it plagued her mind. Marriage. Children. Suitors. But most of all, love.

"I should not be thinking these things. Mother will choose someone that best fits both me and the family. She wouldn't choose someone that doesn't care for me will she?"

Mother was not a dumb person, despite her occasional childlike antics. She was not only observant but she had played matchmaker with some of her old friends before her moving to Shu from Wei. She would be able to spot someone who would be infatuated with Xingcai, a man who would care for her every being.

Then again, she married father. And after what he did to her…

"No, I…I asked her to postpone because I wanted to choose my suitor. But who do I trust enough to marry?"

Well there were really only three options she could think of off the top of her head. Guan Ping is her friend, in fact her friend from childhood. There was no person she trusted more than him both in the battlefield and if she explained herself, there was little to no chance that she would refuse her. But she couldn't really imagine their relationship progressing any further than friendship. Whatever affection she has for him right now is purely platonic.

There was Zhao Yun. Decorated general, modestly handsome. Willing to put himself on the path of benevolence and yet also capable of having his own mind and his own desires. But he's also far older than she is. And he's more of a mentor than anything else. She looked up to him but she couldn't imagine being romantically involved with him.

Then there was Liu Shan himself. He was influential, wealthy. After all he is the emperor, the man so close to the heavens he could taste it. That will easily satisfy mother. And he was kind and sweet and caring. For some reason, it wasn't that difficult for her to imagine living with him. But then there was his first marriage and….

"No." she proclaimed to the air around her, trying not to dwell on the painful memory. "I need to find someone else to marry. Someone I can live with. But that will mean I have to flirt with someone. And try and win their approval. And be…and be…" But she couldn't find the words.

Anyways, she thought, she shouldn't be thinking these things. She was lucky. A woman? To become a warrior? Many still found it difficult to believe. And she knew she had more freedoms than any regular person, let alone someone of the female sex. She shouldn't be complaining. She should just accept her duty to her family and to her country. She should just accept the fact that the perfect suitor just did not exist for her. That whoever her mother chooses will be with her best interests at heart.

But then again, she wouldn't be talking to herself if she wasn't unsure. She only talked to herself like this when something was plaguing her mind.

"Do you want me to help?" A voice called out to her.

Instantly, she spun. So consumed she was in her thoughts that she did not hear the footsteps. From behind a column, lord Liu Shan appeared, wearing an expression of concern. Xingcai responded by shyly turning her head away. She said nothing, could not say anything. So Liu Shan continued. "I can help you, Xingcai. I can help you get what you want. But you have to trust me."

She only stared at him. As though he was speaking a foreign language. They were the words she wanted to hear, these comforting if meaningless words. Taking her silence for agreement, he slowly walked off, leaving the mute Xingcai to follow him. The only sounds on the floor were of the soft breeze in the wind and their footsteps on the hard wooden floor.

Although perhaps, she thought as she arrived at her destination I should have put more thought as to 'why'.

The room the emperor led her to was a small room for storage. Various furniture pieces were left in precarious positions at the corners of the room but in the middle was a small table with two cushions on either side. And the two of them were sitting silently. He was watching her. She was watching him. But the stare he gave her was making her uncomfortable.

She was trying to find the words to start this conversation? Say "hi"? No, that would be weird. Question him? Not a good idea. She needed to ease into that particular topic. Frustrated, she blurted out the first thing that popped into his head.

"I will not be your mistress, lord Liu Shan."

"H-huh? What? I-I didn't invite you for that. H-how could I help you if I'm trying to f—" Embarrassed, Liu Shan turned his head away from her. A pink tint rose on his cheeks as his eyes returned to her. "We're only here because I thought you would not want to talk about something so delicate in public. This is the most secluded spot I know."

His words made sense, and in part it did relieve her (though his reaction was suspicious) but she was too busy blushing herself to go any further on that topic.

"You said you'd help me." He nodded slightly. "How?"

"Ah," he said. "That's what I wanted to discuss. But first, make yourself comfortable. You…surely must not be…comfortable…how you are sitting." His eyes flicked downwards before returning to her face, his head nodding very very slowly. It took her a full second after that to realize her skirt was giving a rather daring view. She quickly adjusted herself, not before giving a dirty look to Liu Shan.

He took a breath before speaking, ignoring her angry stare. "I'm not a smart man, Xingcai. In fact, I am a fool at many, many things. But if I may speak frankly, I think there might be one thing which I am better at than most."

"And that is?"

"I understand people." He said simply.

It didn't make much sense to her. Sure, she could say she was quite an understanding man. But what does that have to do with arranged marriages?

Liu Shan continued, "I realize it doesn't sound very amazing. But wouldn't you say that that is what most people would like in a romantic partner? In a husband or wife?"

"Yes…" she replied hesitantly, eyes still glazed in confusion. "But…surely you can't teach 'understanding', can you?"

"No. No I cannot. But what I can teach you is how to see the signs. I can tutor you in the art of seduction. Just as you tutored me in the art of the sword."

She tried to suppress an incredulous laugh, barely succeeding. "I appreciate the offer, my lord but I cannot ask that of you. You must have better things to do than to help me find a suitor."

"But why not? It's not like I'm fairly busy recently."

"You should be busy! You're the emperor!"

"But why can't I help you? What reason is there?"

Oh there were many reasons she could think of. So many reasons popped into her head and she was about to list as many as she could think of when she saw his face. That look of conviction, of seriousness. It was an expression she sometimes witnessed when she caught him practicing by himself but never had she seen him give it to her. It was one of confidence, of stubbornness. A foreign expression that she never saw on him.

And in her slight surprise, she couldn't help but not refuse him.

She grumbled a quiet "fine". Liu Shan grinned, his body electric with giddiness, triumphant. The emperor was very close to bursting in excitement, like a little kid seeing the fireworks for the first time in their life. She only groaned in response.

"Before you get ahead of yourself, my lord," she interrupted the cheeky smile on his face that she could NOT handle right now. "I have conditions."

Liu Shan smiled, a little less in an excited manner and more like the calm, collected manner that was more commonplace with him. "What are they?"

"Firstly," she raised her pointer finger. "It will be right after your training. Not before. I will give you ten minutes maximum for you to rest or to acquire what you need but no more. Unless you have a sufficient reason to not be able to, I will make sure you are coming."

A small "pssh" escaped his lips in amusement. "But I get so tired after training. How can I teach when I am so physically exhausted?"

"I. Will. Make. Sure."

The death glare she gave allowed a small frown to appear but he tentatively nodded. "I-If that is what you wish."

"Secondly, I have the right to choose to stop the lesson at any time I want."

"I thought that would not need to be said, Xingcai. It is you who is the student after all."

"I don't think you understand, Lord Liu Shan," she shook her head, arms crossed in front of her. "I'm suggesting that if you don't do a good job, I will not allow any more lessons. Or if you do something I think is inappropriate."

The subcontext was not lost on him as he spluttered in shock and mild disgust. "You don't honestly believe the rumours that I am a womanizer, do you?" He asked.

She didn't think so, if she was being honest. But his reaction only made her even more uneasy.

"Lord Liu Shan, if you do anything—"

"D-do not be absurd, Xingcai." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I would not do anything to a lady, least of all you."

She was satisfied with that answer. For now, at least. "Finally—and of course this should be understandable—this is to be between you and me. I do not want you to tell others that you are doing me this favour."

His head tilted further, brows low and tilted upward. "What do you mean?"

The reason, if she was being honest, was frightfully simple: she had difficulty conceptualizing her lord of all people keeping a secret. After all, it didn't seem like he put much thought into his words. And she doubted he would be able to keep it secret for long. But if she was being honest to herself, she didn't NEED to keep it a secret. It was just…embarrassing, private.

"I wouldn't want others to make rumours up about us if we meet in private like this." She replied coolly despite the partial lie. "It will ruin your reputation."

"You shouldn't worry. It's not like anyone will expect the two of us to be holed up in such a small dirty room. They would think I have much higher standards than this." He laughed.

She ignored his statement. "Does that mean you are agreeing to the terms or not?"

He waved his hand as if to shoo her way. "Of course, of course. I think a fool like me can manage that."

"I should hope you do, my lord." She said, hesitant.

"You have so little faith in me," he laughs. "But if that is all, I must take my leave. I am already late as it is." He slowly stood up. "I hope I will not disappoint you tomorrow."

All she could do was raise her eyebrows, her smile weak but strained. "I hope not," she replied. As grateful as she is to him, she was not making this decision easy. She quickly rose from her seated position. "I shall see you tomorrow then."

"And I to you, Xingcai." He smiled.

It was then that the two separated, not exchanging any thing else apart from a quick and quiet "goodbye" as they left the room. Her eyes wandered as she walked the empty hallways, her hand gliding on the smooth surface of the wall. All of a sudden she felt tired. Not physically but mentally. As though the conversation had exhausted her. She needed to go home.

And when she finally got there, all she could do was stare at the ceiling, reflecting on her actions today. How all of a sudden all of these changes were in her future. In particular her thoughts went back to that weird look in Liu Shan's eyes; the almost serious, dark look he held. Thinking back on it, it looked like there was a flame lit in him. But that was silly. He was just being benevolent. Not once in her life did she ever see him get passionate about anything, and that might have been the closest. But still it was peculiar. How his brows lowered, the eyes glaring into her soul. His ebony hair framed his face differently, as if it had a personality of its own, understanding its owner's intent. The look was weird. Unnerving. But also strangely alluring.

A dark blush appeared on her face when she realized she was examining this a bit too closely. She should go and talk to this with Guan Ping first. He could make sense out of this. But for now, all she wanted to do was stare at the ceiling, hoping it would give her the answers that she seek.

She tried to keep her thoughts onto the engagement but they found herself back at Liu Shan and the lesson he offered. Multiple scenarios played, each one worse than the other. All of them ending in failure. A hand went onto her head, a sigh escaping her lips as she turned her mind back to her engagement.

Marriage. Such a foreign concept. And of its related constituents: courting, dating, love. And she was asking him of all people. The emperor. Her boss. Her friend. Why would he offer this? Why would she accept? Why can't she just decline these love lessons.

Oh but she knows why. She does not know of love. She doesn't know how to start, how to garner a man's interest. She's been the soldier for so long she wasn't even sure if she saw herself as a woman. It was like she was this foreign humanoid, unaware of this sexual divide and the tension that surrounds it. And yet she wants to understand it, grasp it in her hands before it is left to chance. She wants the chance to choose her love, that is what she decided her motion was.

But as for why? That question loomed in the air forevermore.

"Darn it." She murmured. Her eyes glaring at the ceiling. "I won't be able to live this down, will I…"