A/N: I'm reading the book right now so I thought it would be fun to do this! I'm writing a Georgia Nicolson fanfic at the same time, so I might get a bit confused. If I start saying stuff like 'piddly-diddly department' you know I'm veering off track a little.
Disclaimer: I do not own characters, and only kind of own the plotline. Jane Austen is a genius and I could never hope to be as original as her :)
Being me is so great.
What more could I possibly ask for? I have: a beautiful mansion home; a loving father; cable television in my room; and a whole room stuffed entirely with shoes. Life doesn't get any better than this, right?
WRONG! My life is absolute utter crap. Do you want to know why? Because it is the summer holidays and I have absolutely nothing to do with myself. All of my friends are going away on holiday, and my best friend Beth is away on her honeymoon. And we can't even go away on holiday this year because Dad has to work all summer. He has a ton of work to catch up on. Don't ask me what. The only thing I know about his job is that he's the boss of some big company that makes a lot of money out of cheese or something.
Well, whatever. The point is, what I should be doing is dashing home so I can pack my suitcase, ready to catch a flight to Ibiza, but instead I'm standing in an empty hallway, clearing out my locker, like some sad, lonely girl who has to stay at home all holiday. Which is what I am.
I blame Beth for
all of this, of course. She's four years older than me, but we've
always been close. That is, until Wesley came along. Don't get me
wrong, he's a great guy – I mean, he bought me a mobile phone for
my birthday (now I have five altogether). But that doesn't mean
Beth had to go and fall in love with him. And actually agree to marry
him. Because now she has absolutely no time left for me. She bought a
filofax the other day, because she says she needs to get organised,
what with all the social gatherings she now attends. Seriously! I'm
like, "Beth, want to go shopping?" and she actually takes her
diary out to see when she's next free.
"Oh, sorry, Emma, I'm
all booked up till next month."
Don't tell me that's not
messed up.
I can't pretend I'm not slightly to blame, though. I was the one who set up Wesley and Beth for their first date. I thought they would make a cute couple! But I didn't think that would mean she would have no time for me.
You know what? I think I know what I need. I need to find someone else to match-make. It should be an Olympic sport. I would win gold of course. I'm practically famous in this town for setting people up. Hey! Maybe I could even start my own website: – find your perfect match with the fantastic services of Emma Woodhouse!
"Hey, brace-face! What are you doing, hanging about on your own?" A loud voice nearly makes me jump out of my skin. It's Nick. Nick is the brother of my sister Issy's fiancé Jon (is it just me or is everyone around here getting married?). He's two years older than me, he's going to college next year, and he's a total idiot.
"Nothing. How depressing is that?" I moan, peeling an ancient Plain White-Ts sticker from the back of my locker, that I must have put there at the beginning of the year. I don't even like the Plain White Ts anymore. "And don't call me that."
I don't have braces. I did when I was ten for about a month, but Nick has never let it drop. His family and ours have been close since we were babies, so basically Nick knows loads of totally embarrassing things about me. Like the fact I wet the bed till I was eight. Fortunately, I know lots of stuff about him, too. He was terrified of Tigger when he was small, and he still is to this day, even if he won't admit it. The fun I have had tormenting him about it!
"So a little bird told me you're not going away this year," Nick says, ignoring me. "That must be depressing for my little Jet-setter. I know how much you love travel."
Gee, thanks, Nick, way to twist the knife.
"FYI," I say indignantly, "I'm looking forward to a lazy summer. I'm going to do some more matchmaking."
Nick raises his eyebrows in exasperation. "Not that again," he groans. "Don't you think it's a little immature? Nobody needs your help. People can take care of themselves on their own, you know."
There is a strange foreign object in the back of my locker, and I'm too busy trying to figure out what it is to answer him.
"Well, when it all goes horribly wrong, don't come running to me," sighs Nick, and strides off, shaking his head.
But Nick's mistaken. Nothing is going to go wrong. Everything is going to go amazingly right!
Well, I hope you like it. I know Emma's a bit annoying, but she's supposed to be. She's like that in the book. Next chapter she will meet Hattie, and she'll of course try and match-make her!
I tried not to make it too like the film Clueless, because I know that's based on Emma as well. I did my best! Please comment.
xoxo
