A/N - I know these modern day versions have been beaten to death on here, but I couldn't help myself. I will try to make it somewhat unique, though. Please r/r - be constructive, or, if I really deserve it, destructive ;) Enjoy!

Elizabeth Bennet was sprawled out on the grass beneath a large oak tree, hungrily flipping through the pages of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. This was her Friday afternoon treat. As an ambitious student at the College of William and Mary, she didn't usually have time for anything but her studies. Sure, on weekend nights she'd go to the occasional party with her chums, and get occasionally trashed. But Friday afternoons were set aside for herself. And this week, Harry Potter was the desire of her heart. It was a refreshing change of pace from the dreary, nihilistic novels she'd been lately reading for her Modern British lit class.

But she was disrupted from her peaceful reverie as a football came whizzing out of nowhere and smacked her in the face. She sat up, rubbing her forehead, and found herself staring into a pair of deep blue eyes…

"God, I am so sorry. My friend over there is a total idiot. I'll stab him later. Do you need some ice? If you want, you can throw it back at him as hard as you want. I'll make sure he stands still so you have a better shot at knocking off his dull head. In fact you could even throw a rock. There's a nice big sharp one right by your foot. An eye for an eye, you know…"

Elizabeth couldn't help laughing at this. She recognized the boy from her Religion of Ancient Israel class. She looked up at the other boy who had thrown the ball at her, surprised to see that he was Will Darcy, president of the student assembly. He was talking on his cell phone, apparently without any intention of apologizing.

"No, the rock won't be necessary," she replied. "I'd probably miss and break a window. However, if you happened to have a large baseball bat, or perhaps a shotgun…"

The boy laughed. "You're Elizabeth, right? I recognize you from class."

"Lizzy. And I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember your name. I'm terrible with names, so don't take it personally. But I do recognize you. Ancient Israel, right?"

"Yep. Charles Bingley. Don't worry about it. The football may have damaged your memory."

"That must be it," she said dryly.

"I see you're reading Harry Potter. Quality stuff. You're only on the third one?"

"Actually, I'm rereading all of them."

"Excellent. Look, what are you doing tonight? I feel like I should buy you dinner or something to make up for nearly crushing your skull."

"Ha. Don't worry about it. Plus, you weren't even the one that threw it."

"That's true. I can't imagine what's gotten into that dude," he said, scowling at Will. "He's usually less of an ass than this. But it must be an important call. Maybe his aunt. Anyway, so, was that a no for dinner?"

"Yeah – I wish I could, but my sister's coming down for the weekend."

"That's cool. Well, if you two can't find anything better to do, you're welcome to come around to the House later for a few drinks, modest dancing, and full out sex, if you're lucky. Delta Phi."

"That sounds fun," said Lizzy, laughing. "I'll ask my sister."

"Cool. Well I gotta go. Have fun with Harry, and hopefully I'll see you tonight!"

He sauntered off to join his friend. Lizzy couldn't deny that he was terribly cute and extremely friendly, but, she thought with mild regret, she really wasn't attracted to him. She was glad Jane was coming that weekend; it had given her the perfect excuse for not going to dinner with him.

When Jane arrived, it was instantly apparent to her perceptive sister that something was wrong. Lizzy figured it had to do with her boyfriend – the latest in a series of worthless men Jane had fallen for.

"I just don't understand it, Liz," Jane sobbed. "He was so nice at first. Sent me roses for no reason at all – of course Kitty accidentally sat on them – and he bought me the nicest earrings for my birthday. Things were going along splendidly. At least I thought so."

"But…"

"But then I thought I'd pop in and see him for a bit before I drove down here today."

"Uh oh," said Lizzy.

"And…I walked in on him having – " she stopped for a second, unable to continue. Her chest heaved violently. Elizabeth put her arms around her and kissed her cheek affectionately.

"It's gonna be okay, Janie," she whispered. "You know it will be. And you'll always have your Liz."

Jane took a deep breath and continued. "He was having sex with Lauren Bludger."

"Oh, honey," cried Lizzy, sympathetic tears streaming down her face. "I'm so, so sorry. God, If I ever see him again…he better hope I don't."

"Calm down, Lizzy."

"No, I will not calm down. What is wrong with everyone?" she said furiously. "You don't do that kind of thing to my Jane and just walk away. God. And Lauren Bludger? Jesus Christ. You don't go screwing crackpot Lauren Bludger, a walking std, when you have Jane Bennet as a girlfriend. You just don't. That girl is filthy. Didn't she just have her second baby a few months ago? And she's how old, 19?"

"She's had a hard life, Lizzy. Her father walked out on them when she was younger."

"Whatever."

"Anyway," said Jane, who had grown much calmer after pouring her soul out to Lizzy, "I should have seen the signs. He would always get unreasonably angry when I asked him questions about what he'd been up to lately. You know what the funniest part about the whole thing is, though?"

"What?"

"He wasn't even sorry that I caught him. He didn't apologize once. He was just angry. Angry that I came over without calling. As If I were in the wrong."

Lizzy shook her head and squeezed Jane's hand, wiping the tears off her face with a tissue.

"Lizzy, I know what you're thinking," said Jane, noticing the worried expression on her sister's face. "I'm going to be fine. I didn't even like him all that much after the beginning, to tell you the truth. I guess I was just afraid it would break his heart if I dumped him. I didn't want to do that to him."

"Jane, you are too good."

Jane sighed. "Well, what's the plan? I don't want to sit inside and cry all night. This is my one weekend of escape," she said, alluding to the chaotic, sweltering environment she normally lived in: the Bennet household.

"We have several options, each wildly exciting, as you know Williamsburg always is. A local band is playing at Aromas, the Vietnamese Student Association is having some kind of cultural dance event, umm, we could go see a movie. Oh, and some boy invited us to a frat party, but you're probably not up for that."

"Actually," said Jane thoughtfully, "that might be just the thing. Get me good and liquored up so I can forget my woes."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's the healthiest move, Janie, but we can go if you want."