Orange Grove, The Missing Emails
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From: me
To: Carlos, My boyfriend :D
Subject: John Peters's oranges and plans for tonight
My darling perfect Carlos,
How are you? Are you listening to the radio?
You know John Peters, the farmer? Well, his oranges seem a little strange to me. I mean, they make people flicker completely out of existence. I wondered if you knew anything about them or could find anything out. I was looking online. Did you know that orange trees are not native to deserts? Isn't that interesting?
Additionally, I was wondering about dinner plans. Shall we go out to eat or stay home? It's your turn to choose. Aside from dinner is there anything else we have planned for tonight? :)
Love,
Your boyfriend
-Cecil
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From: Carlos, My boyfriend :D
To: me
Subject: Re: John Peters's oranges and plans for tonight
Cecil, I'll do my best to answer your questions but do know that I don't specialize in botany or dendrology. I am a scientist. I study science, not plants or nature. I did drive out past Johns farm a month ago, and there wasn't a single tree, just acres and acres of rocky cracked flat ground. There's no way he could have grown anything natural on that land, let alone a bountiful orange grove, especially in just a few weeks.
As far as your other question goes, let's stay home tonight. We ate out last night. Plus there's a new documentary about scatter plot matrices on Netflix I've been wanting to see. Also, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence is on TBS again. We could re watch that.
I'll make pasta if you can pick up some condoms. Also I'm out of shampoo, I think you mixed it up with the laundry detergent again, because there's a bottle of that in the shower.
Josie called asking if we were still on for bowling this weekend. I told her we would be there at four like we agreed. She said she would bring snacks. Now, I know that you were worried Cecil, but I assure you it will be fine. I'm sure the miniature city won't attack.
Going back to the pasta: do you want pesto or marinara sauce? We have half a jar of marinara left but no pesto.
I've been meaning to tell you, I was experimenting with the dishwasher soap and I managed to separate it into its basic elements! I won't list them all for you here right now because the list is very long. But guess what? They sell all of them at the Ralph's! I'm going to try to recreate the soap from scratch once I go to the store. It will probably take me a few tries to figure out the order temperature and proportions to get soap from the elements. If this goes well we can make the soap ourselves instead of buying it in the future!
I thought you had made one sometime but I couldn't find it.
Love you.
-Carlos
XO
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From: me
To: Carlos, My boyfriend :D
Subject: Re: Re: John Peters's oranges and plans for tonight
Dear Carlos,
Isn't strange then about John Peters's (you know, the farmer) orange crop? I do wonder what is going on.
I'm happy to eat at home. Marinara is fine with me if there is enough. I can pick up more on the way home if we need it.
I'm so glad TBS is showing The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance again! That was a great movie! If we plan to eat slightly early do you think there will be time to watch that as well as your matrices documentary? (Is that the same documentary you told me about over breakfast a week ago?)
I can certainly pick up condoms. Do we need anything else? Aside from your shampoo I mean. I think you're right,I probably did use it as laundry detergent. (Oops. Sorry) I thought the sheets smelled different than normal.
I am worried about the bowling though Carlos. Last time you were there the miniature people in the underground city almost killed you! I really, really don't want you to die. But you are right of course. We can't let Old Woman Josie down. She's been excited about going bowling again since I talked to her a few months ago. Just promise me you will be careful not to be killed, injured, or hurt in anyway by the miniature people in the tiny underground city, okay?
About the soap; Carlos, I love you, I love your science, but this experiment had better be in the last experiment with the pantry moths sat in the kitchen counter for a month before you finally moved it to the lab. Aside from that, your experiment sound really interesting. I'd love to try making dish soap!
The recording of Khoshekh is on my phone. I'll show you when I get home.
Love you too
-Cecil
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From: Carlos, My boyfriend :D
To: me
Subject: CECIL THIS IS IMPORTANT
Marked: Urgent
Cecil,
I just talked to my team of scientists who have been investigating the house that doesn't exist. The one in the desert creek housing development that looks like it exists. Like it's right there when you look at it, it's between two other identical houses so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. That one. They still have not gotten up the courage to go inside the house. But they did peek in the window, and they saw John Peters. You know, the farmer. They saw John sitting in a chair in an empty room staring at a picture on the wall. They could not see what was in the picture, but John was sitting quietly staring at it, not moving. They called his name, they tried dialing his phone, but he did not respond. They even knocked on the door. Nothing. Whoever this John Peters is selling oranges and orange juice, is not the John Peters we know.
Also I take it back I think we should go out to eat tonight. I tried to go to the store but they are completely out of pasta, tomatoes, herbs, scissors, fire, everything! Well, now that is everything except for this fake John Peters's orange juice. They have plenty of that. Which means I will have to postpone my soap making.
Hopefully we won't miss The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, I know you enjoyed it. If there isn't time to watch both we can always watch the documentary some other time since it is on Netflix after all.
It's sweet if you to worry so Cecil, but I assure you everything will be fine at the bowling alley. We will have the farthest lane from the city and I promise I will be very careful.
No, I think we are fine except for shampoo and condoms. (Don't worry about the shampoo laundry detergent thing, It's not a big deal)
And no, my experiment is not covering our counter. It is safely in bottles and test tubes at the lab.
Come home soon so we can eat dinner.
-Carlos
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Authors' Note: Co-writen and co-edited with my friend (who doesn't have an account). ruins all formatting, including the email addresses we tried to write, so for that I apologize.