In The End
Summary: After four years of marriage, everything is going well for Jim and Bones. Until it isn't. And Jim just doesn't know how to fix it.
Authors Note: This is the third part of my Music For The Soul series, but can be read as a stand alone fic. This didn't turn out at all how I thought it would - I originally planned this as a fluff piece. But the characters, as they sometimes do, decided they wanted to go in a completely different direction.
This story deals with the effects that depression can have on a relationship - I suffer from severe depression myself, I know how hard it can be. On that note, you won't find a quick fix for the problems in this fic. If you think that this may be at all triggering for you, the please don't read - I'd hate to think I had upset anyone.
I don't own the characters, the Star Trek franchise, or the songs within. They all belong to their respective owners.
In The End by Shane Filan - watch?v=KnrInWLaJho
Close Your Eyes by Michael Buble - watch?v=Chio1TqKFRk
This is unbeta'd so any and all remaining mistakes are my own. I had a of of trouble posting this, so the format of the lyrics may be a little strange. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!
It all began to fall apart during the third year of the second five year mission. They'd been married for close to four years and Jim had never been happier; their marriage wasn't perfect, but that was one of the things that Jim loved most. The fact that he didn't have to try to be anything other than himself - Bones loved him regardless.
It had taken him a long time to feel comfortable enough to admit that to himself; part of him had doubted Bones, his love for Jim, his reasons for staying. Even after the wedding, a small part of him still expected to wake up one morning and find Bones gone.
But even through all that, Jim had never once doubted his own feelings. He loved Bones with everything he had; he loved the quirks, the arguments, the way Bones challenged him. The sex was pretty spectacular too.
Now though, four years on, he could look at Bones and think "He loves me..." Without feeling like some kind of fraud.
That's why when everything fell apart, it took him completely by surprise.
The good natured bickering, became screaming matches that more often than not ended with one of them storming out. The easy relationship that they had always shared as friends and later as more, became strained and uncomfortable, both of them waiting for the next big blow up. Their sex life had become none existent; if anyone had told Jim even a year ago, that he wouldn't miss the sex, he'd have laughed and sent them to Bones for a full psychological work-up.
But he didn't. No, more than anything he missed falling into bed after a long shift and just being able to sleep, knowing that there was never any expectation for more, that Bones was there to offer comfort if that's what he needed. Dammit, Jim missed the cuddling.
He was man enough to admit it. He hadn't realised how much he needed that closeness until it was taken away.
It had been four days since he'd even had a proper conversation with his own husband. Sure, Doctor McCoy still came up to the bridge, but that wasn't the same. He missed just being JimandBones.
He couldn't remember how to be just Jim. He wasn't sure he wanted to.
Finally, he'd had enough. Jim decided that if there was some kind of problem with their relationship, then they would discuss it like the adults they claimed to be. So, after his shift, he hurried back to their quarters and waited for Bones to come home. He planned everything he wanted to say, down to the very last word. He rehearsed it all in his mind; he would straight out ask Bones what was wrong, what had changed, what he could do to fix it, and make damn sure that he knew that Jim loved him.
So Jim waited. And waited.
That was the first night that Bones didn't come home. It wouldn't be the last.
McCoy dropped into his chair like his stings had been cut. Exhaustion made his limbs heavy, his eyes grainy, and his head ache like a bitch.
He'd spent the night before on the cot in his office. The thought of going back to their quarters and arguing with Jim again, made him feel physically ill. Memories of the same thing happening with Jocelyn flashed through his mind; he hated himself for letting it happen with him and Jim, but what was he supposed to do? Every time he tried to find the words to explain to Jim what exactly was bothering him, he put his foot in his mouth and made everything a thousand times worse.
The truth was, McCoy was tired.
Physically, mentally, and emotionally - in every damn way a person could be tired. He was falling apart at the seams and he was taking Jim with him.
Some days he couldn't even stand to look at himself in the mirror; he was too much of a coward. His hand shook as he reached for the glass on his desk. Screwing his eyes shut, he drained the glass and slammed it back down.
Dropping his head forward into his hands, McCoy tried to think through the haze around his mind.
Another night was spent in his office.
When Jim awoke to find his husband gone for the second morning running, he allowed the anger to creep through his veins, filling him up.
His temper usually burned red hot, he'd always been more likely to shout and break things when he lost it. But this time, he just felt cold. Instead of blowing up, he just shut down.
He felt empty. Distant from everything that was happening around him. The mood on the bridge was decidedly sour that day.
Spock had asked after his health and when Jim had replied that he was fine, Spock had simply raised his eyebrow, gazed at him, gave a quiet "Indeed." And then returned to his station. Jim pointedly ignored the concerned glances he received from Uhura and Chekov.
Once Alpha was finally over, Jim went straight to Sick-Bay.
The office stood empty.
Just like Jim.
Tonight.
He would tell him tonight. He'd come clean about everything, he'd sit Jim down and explain why he'd been so damn distant recently. He'd fix it.
He planned everything he wanted to say, tried to get his thoughts in order, determined to set it all right. His resolve crumbled to dust though, when Jim walked through the door and looked straight at him.
The look on his face was that of a stranger. Not a trace of the Jim he knew.
"You're home then." Jim said, his tone making it clear that it wasn't a question.
McCoy swallowed, "Jim, I-" he started, but his throat closed up, the words stuck behind clenched teeth.
"You stayed in sickbay?" Jim queried, flatly.
Nodding, McCoy cleared his throat and tried again. "Yeah, it seemed easier than more arguments." He froze as soon as soon as the words were out.
Jim just looked at him. "Sleeping in your office was easier than coming home to your husband?"
"N-no, that's not what I meant." He shook his head, desperately. "Jim, I-"
"You know I actually had the computer trace you." Jim cut in. "I didn't know where you were...who you were with."
Mouth dropping open, McCoy took a step forward, "Jim, I'd never cheat on you!"
Crossing his arms over his chest, Jim smiled bitterly. "You can't even stand to be in the same room as me anymore."
Feeling like everything was spiralling out of control, McCoy reached a hand out but Jim stepped back out of reach and walked around him.
"Jim, I-" He said, turning around and taking a deep breath. "I'm tired."
Jim scoffed, "Sleeping on a cot will do that to a person."
Shaking his head, McCoy rolled his eyes, "I wish that was all it was..."
Something in Jim's eyes changed at his tone, "Are you sick?" A hint of concern leaking through.
Taking a seat on the couch, McCoy sighed deeply. "I'm tired, Jim. All the damn time."
Hesitating slightly, Jim moved forward until he was sitting next to his husband. He looked at him for a moment before all but pleading, "Talk to me, Bones."
Feeling the fight drain out of him, McCoy slumped back against the seat. "I'm a doctor, Jim."
When he didn't elaborate, Jim nodded slowly, "Yes, you are. And a damn good one."
Snorting, McCoy glanced at him, eyes sad. "I'm a doctor, Jim, not miracle worker. Do you have any idea how many close calls you've had in the last 3 years?"
Frowning, Jim shrugged. "A few, I guess. But that's part of the job..."
"23." Looking up at the ceiling, he blinked slowly. "23 close calls in 3 years. 11 of which, your heat stopped." Pulling a ragged breath, he glanced back at Jim beside him. "Your heart stopped beating, Jim."
Dropping his gaze to his hands, Jim opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out.
"I'm sick of bringing you back from the dead, just so that you can run off and throw yourself right back into its clutches!" The older man added, his voice cracking on the last word.
Minutes passed in silence, finally McCoy sat forward and stood up, "I'm going to try and catch up on some sleep." With that, he disappeared into the bedroom.
Jim sat on the couch for a long time after that.
Things didn't get any better after their conversation.
Jim wasn't sure what to do or say, McCoy seemed to be having the same trouble. He had even stopped coming up to the bridge unless he was needed.
Everything had gone to shit and there wasn't anything Jim could do about it. How did you explain to someone that you only did the things you did because you loved them? Besides, Jim knew that McCoy wasn't in a position to hear him anyway.
With everything that was happening between them, maybe he should've thought his decision through a little more; they'd arrived at the latest class-M planet 12 hours ago and a team was to be beamed down to survey the surface. Needing to do something that didn't leave his mind and stomach in twisted knots, Jim had ruled out Spock's suggestion that he stay on the ship.
Jim really should have known that McCoy wouldn't let him go without him. Marital problems or not, he was still CMO - Jim wasn't going anywhere without him there.
At Jim's nod, they disappeared and rematerialised on the surface. The sky was a darker shade of blue than the Earths and the grass was a pale yellow, but that seemed to be the only visible difference. They'd appeared in a small clearing, surrounded by trees on three sides.
Walking forward slowly, Jim led the way out, the rest of them following along like ducks.
A few hours passed as they collected their samples and scanned everything they could see. It was a pleasant planet for all that it wasn't home, McCoy thought.
Then everything went to hell in a hand basket and McCoy decided that he hated this place just as much as every other damned rock they'd ever been on.
A group of 20 or more natives came running from the trees behind them, all carrying weapons. They hadn't been worried about any locals, the ships scans had showed no life signs; obviously they'd been wrong. Immediately, the security team pulled out their phasers and took up defensive positions.
McCoy felt his gut drop to his feet when he saw Jim pocket his own phaser and move forward, hands up. "I'm Captain James T Kirk, of the USS Enterprise. We mean you no harm."
That was all he had chance to say before the leader of the group raised his own weapon and aimed it directly at Jim.
McCoy didn't think, didn't have time to. He just reacted; he threw himself forward with a cry and knocked Jim out the way, the blast from the weapon hitting him in the chest. Searing pain shot through him and the air was ripped from his lungs as he hit the ground.
Distantly, he heard someone screaming, weapons being discharged, and hoped like hell that Jim was safe. His vision was starting to blur, dark spots appearing at the edges, but he could still see Jim as he leant over him.
"Bones?!" Jim cried, placing his hands on either side of McCoy's face. "Bones, please! Please!"
Turning his head, Jim screamed something at someone, before focusing once again on McCoy. "Bones, don't you dare do this to me! Do you hear me?! Please!"
Hearing the distress in Jim's voice, he tried to answer him, to comfort him, but no sound came out. The pressure on his chest was indescribable; the pain was fading and a distant part of him knew that was a bad thing.
It wasn't long before it all faded to black.
He finally understood.
Jim had thought he'd understood long ago, but the reality of it was so much worse than he could ever have imagined. The waiting, the not knowing, was excruciating. The possibility that Bones might...no, he couldn't afford to think like that.
He shook himself mentally and balled his hands into fists, letting the biting pain of his nails digging into his palm ground him. He needed to stay calm so that he could think.
But his tenuous control was slipping; his throat felt tight, his eyes were burning, but still he didn't look away from the window. He couldn't risk missing anything, he wouldn't let Bones down like that.
He'd already caused his husband too much pain, the least he could do was allow himself to feel every second of terror at the thought of losing Bones. He deserved the pain.
His Bones didn't.
Jim hadn't heard him when he'd tried to explain; of course Jim had listened, but he hadn't heard the words, the meaning behind them. He'd taken Bones for granted, taken his skills as a doctor for granted.
M'Benga was an excellent doctor in his own right, he wouldn't have been part of the team if he wasn't, but that didn't mean that Jim didn't watch him like a hawk, the entire time. The surgery took over 9 hours; the only time Jim had moved during that time was when the monitors connected to Bones started blaring warnings out as he crashed.
Jim had banged on the glass and demanded that he be let inside, he'd tried to override the door but Spock had stopped him; he'd made it clear that if Jim went in there, he risked distracting M'Benga and the nurses from saving Bones.
So instead, he'd returned to his spot by the window.
And he waited.
It was another hour before M'Benga came out and spoke to Jim. As soon as the door slid open, Jim darted forward, leaving Spock and Uhura a few feet behind.
"How is he? Is he okay? When can I see him?" He demanded, in quick succession.
M'Benga held his hands up, "He's...as well as can be expected. There was a lot of damage to his lungs and kidneys; delicate work." A small, tired smile tugged at his mouth. "But...he came through the surgery very well - as long as he listens and follows the advice, he should make a full recovery."
Something cold and ugly uncoiled inside Jim's chest, leaving him feeling wrung out and weak.
"As for seeing him, Chapel is moving him to a private room now, you can see him once she's finished getting him settled." M'Benga added. "He's under heavy sedation though, he'll be asleep until at least tomorrow morning, maybe longer."
"Thank you, Geoffrey!" With that he rushed off towards the rooms, his haste making him forget the doctors title.
A little while later after Jim was allowed in Bones's room, Spock knocked and entered.
Jim glanced up, thumb still stroking over the back of Bones's hand. "Uhura leave?" He asked, quietly.
Spock gave a sharp nod, "She wishes to visit with Leonard tomorrow, if that is satisfactory?"
Throwing his First Officer a small smile, Jim huffed and nodded, "Of course, Spock. You're both more than welcome."
A few moments passed in silence as they both listened to the machines beeping. Jim couldn't take his eyes off his husbands face; he couldn't quite believe how close he'd come to losing him.
"It's strange...being on this side of it." Jim looked up at Spock and clarified. "It's usually me that ends up in the hospital bed with Bones hovering over me."
"Jim," Spock said, his tone even more serious than usual. "If Leonard had not pushed you out of the way of the blast, you would not have survived. There would have been no bed for Leonard to wait beside."
Frowning, Jim shook his head, "What do you mean?"
Spock inclined his head slightly, "The trajectory of the blast would have had it hit you directly over the heart; I believe that Leonard realised this and that it is one of the reasons why he reacted in the way that he did. From his position, he was able to manoeuvre so that the blast hit the far right side of his chest, thus, giving him a better chance of survival."
Swallowing loudly and squeezing Bones's hand tighter, "Why would he do that? He could've have died!" Obviously, Jim had known that from the second Bones had hit the ground on that damned planet, but hearing Spock speak so plainly about it brought it home."I may not fully understand the nuances of human emotion, but I do know that if I ever found myself and Nyota in the same position, I would act in much the same way as Leonard." He headed toward the door, glancing over his shoulder. "I believe that is the nature of love." The door slid closed behind him with a hiss.
Struck dumb by Spock's words, Jim leant over and pressed a kiss to Bones's forehead.
"I never thought I'd agree with Spock on the subject of emotion, but he's right, you know? I understand now, Bones." He settled back into his chair to wait. "I understand, and I'm so sorry. I love you..."
It took two days but finally, Bones started to show signs of waking.
M'Benga had rushed in and confirmed it when Jim had called out that he'd felt Bones give his hand a small squeeze. It wasn't an immediate thing; his eyelids would flutter for a few moments then go still, his breathing would change and then settle - every time, it set Jim's nerves further on edge. He couldn't wait to see his husband glowering at him again, bitching at him for leaving dirty underwear on the floor, or even just hear him call Jim, Darlin'."
After confirming that Bones was likely to come round some time that day, M'Benga advised Jim to try talking to him. "We still don't really know if comatose patients can hear everything going on around them, but it certainly can't hurt."
Jim wasn't entirely sure what to say; he'd been murmuring apologies and telling Bones that he loved him, since he first entered the room two days ago - everything else he wanted to say, the deeper apologies and the promises, he wanted to save until Bones was fully awake and strong enough to hear them.
Instead, he talked about inane things like what they'd have for dinner to celebrate Bones's recovery, about how Chekov had finally beaten Spock during their weekly chess match, and when his words dried up, he started humming some of their favourite songs.
Slowly and quietly, he started to sing along; Bones had told him many times over the years how much he enjoyed listening to Jim sing - he didn't have much time to play the guitar anymore, but when he did, Bones would always request his favourites. Now that Jim thought about it, music had played a pretty big part of their relationship; they had met in a bar that Jim had frequently sang in, and then a few years later, even Bones had overcome his own nerves and sang to Jim on the night he asked Jim to marry him.
Holding Bones's hand tightly in his own, Jim sang a song that he'd written a couple of years before; he'd never played it for Bones before, but it seemed to fit their current situation perfectly.
Don't be scared
Coz you and me already been there
Long as I know that you'll be here
I guess that's all that matters
You've been around
Every time that I've been down
You were there you pulled me out
When I was bruised and battered
The words flowed directly from his heart; he remembered the night he'd written the song - he'd had a particularly bad reaction to some native fruit from a far flung planet and he almost hadn't made it. His airway had been so compromised that Bones had almost had to resort to inserting a trachea; thankfully, he'd found the correct mix of drugs to counteract the effects and Jim had been saved. But it had been close - too close as Bones had told him when they laid in bed together hours after. Jim had had trouble sleeping, so he'd wandered into the living area and strummed quietly on his guitar, the song forming beneath his hands.
You live and you learn
But now its my turn
To do what I've got to do
And I'm doing it all for you
Jim never wanted to know this feeling of panic again - he couldn't believe he'd never realised how painful it must have been for Bones, all these years. All he could do was promise to help Bones recover now, physically from the attack, and mentally from the depression that had set in within the last few weeks. He wouldn't stop until Bones was happy and healthy again.
Even when the rain starts pouring
I won't let it touch your head
Even when the walls are falling
I will hold it back and then
I will turn this all around
and I'll never let you down,
even if we have to start again
we're gonna get there in the end
Wo oh, you know oh, we're gonna get there in the end
Wo oh, you know oh ohh
Leaning forward, Jim placed his free hand in Bones's hair, his lips skimming over his temple.
Its hard out there
But no one said that life was fair
Even through the bad we shared
I guess that's all that matters
But we're halfway home
We never had to walk alone
Look at all the ways we've grown
Always still together
You live and you learn
But now its my turn
To do what I've got to do
And I'm doing it all for you
Even when the rain starts pouring
I won't let it touch your head
Even when the walls are falling
I will hold it back and then
I will turn this all around
and I'll never let you down,
even if we have to start again
we're gonna get there in the end
Wo oh, you know oh,
we're gonna get there in the end
Wo oh, you know oh ohh
Jim closed his eyes as he recalled the next verse; he'd been in quite a few dangerous situations during the last 8 years as Captain, but Bones had managed to save him countless times. Rarely leaving any marks behind at all - as a doctor, Bones found them be an affront to his skills. He always strived to heal any hurt, but the marks that littered Jim's body from before they had met, Bones treated with reverence; he'd mapped them over the years, learned the story behind each one, and soothed any lingering emotional pain connected with them.
Troubles gone without a trace
Another time another place
I will look back on these days
And know you're why I made it...yeah
Even when the walls are falling
Even when the rain starts pouring
I won't let it touch your head
Even when the walls are falling
I will hold it back and then
I will turn this all around
and I'll never let you down,
even if we have to start again
we're gonna get there in the end
Wo oh, You know oh, we're gonna get there in the end
Wo oh, You know oh ohh
Wo oh, You know oh, we're gonna get there in the end
Wo oh, You know oh, we're gonna get there in the end
Pressing another kiss to Bones's lips, Jim sat back and settled into wait for his best friend, his husband, his Bones to come back to him.
6 Months Later
His strength returned slowly, long after the physical wounds had healed he still felt drained. But he knew that that was more the psychological wounds than anything physical.
The truth was, Leo hadn't ever really recovered from Khan; seeing Jim dead in front of him - past any help (or so they had thought) it had scarred him. Then afterwards, he'd been so focused on bringing him back and helping him heal, his own wounds had festered.
Leo hadn't realised it at the time; but looking back now, he could see how damaged he was by the experience. The fear of losing Jim had escalated from an everyday fear to a genuine phobia. Worse than any fear he had felt before - including the damn aviaphobia. Leo needed Jim like he needed air. It was a simple truth - without the other beside them everything fell apart.
But he was getting better; he and Jim had compromised - Jim wouldn't go on every away mission and the ones that he did go on, Leo would by his side. In return, Leo wouldn't bottle everything up inside. If something was bothering him, he would talk to Jim and allow him to help. Their system worked - they both felt more secure in their relationship. Worries that they hadn't even realised were there were resolved without arguments.
And if there were days when Leo felt weak and tired, Jim was there to prop him up and lend him strength.
Those days were getting fewer though. The wounds were healing. The fear remained but it wasn't all consuming as it once had been - Leo trusted Jim more than anyone else in the universe. Part of him knew and had accepted a long time ago that if Jim died on a mission, chances were that Leo would be go out too. It may not have been the healthiest way of looking at it, but it worked for them.
That was all that mattered.
They were lounging on the bed after a slow shift, when Leo brought it up.
"Marry me," He murmured into Jim's hair, their sides pressed together.
Jim shifted to look up at him, "Didn't I do that already?" He smiled, eyes dancing in amusement.
Leo chuckled quietly, "Yes. But we should do it again."
"Like, renew our vows?" Jim said, sitting up and turning to face Leo. Nodding, Leo played with the ring on Jim's finger.
"Why now?" He asked.
Leo smiled down at their hands, "Because I love you - and I want you to know that no matter what happens, that won't change."
It was quiet for a few minutes as Jim thought over Leo's words. "There's just one problem..." He finally said. Frowning slightly, Leo looked at him. Jim grinned, "You did the asking last time. It's my turn."
With a matching grin, Leo waved his free hand, "Ask away, Darlin'..."
The ceremony took place on the Enterprise, presided over by Spock. Only their closest friends were invited - Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov.
It was a simple fare; they had done the big wedding back in Georgia years ago, they didn't need a huge fanfare, just the knowledge that they were together for the duration.
Afterwards, Scotty had presented a bottle of fine whiskey to them with a flourish and offered congratulations. They shared a glass with their friends, their shipboard family, before returning to their quarters.
As soon as the door slid closed behind them, Jim spun around and kissed Leo soundly.
Chuckling, Leo pulled away and stroked a hand over Jim's cheek. "We have the rest of our lives for that, right now I have a request..." He said, smiling.
Jim pouted slightly, but the light in his eyes remained. "Anything, Bones. You know that."
"Play for me...?" Leo replied, nodding toward the closet where the guitar was kept.
With a bewildered glance at Leo, Jim went to fetch the instrument. Leo took a seat on the couch and waited. He thought back to the first time he had done this; he'd been so nervous that he was sure he'd throw up. Somehow, he'd managed to get through it and it had all been worth it to see the look on Jim's face. He could do it again now - this time, he wasn't nervous so much as excited.
He knew he didn't have a voice like Jim's, but he could carry a tune pretty well.
When Jim returned, he sat next to Leo and began to tune the guitar. "What am I playing?" He asked.
Leo hit his lip, he'd only said that to get the guitar out of the cupboard. "You're not. Chapel plays too and I've been practicing on hers. I thought maybe I could play for you for a change?"
He knew how much Jim treasured the instrument, but there was no hesitation as he handed it over to Leo. Jim placed it on his lap and sat back, watching him, eyes bright.
"Now don't expect some grand masterpiece, I'm a Doctor not a musician," Jim just laughed. "Here goes nothing..." He sighed, shakily.
Close your eyes
Let me tell you all the reasons why
Think you're one of a kind.
Here's to you
The one that always pulls us through
Always do what you gotta do
You're one of a kind
Thank God you're mine.
Catching sight of the surprised happiness on Jim's face, Leo flushed and focused on the strings.
You're an angel dressed in armour
You're the fear in every fight
You're my life and my safe harbour
Where the sun sets every night
And if my love is blind
I don't want to see the light.
It's your beauty that betrays you
Your smile gives you away.
Cause you're made of strength and mercy
And my soul is yours to save
I know this much is true
When my world was dark and blue
I know the only one who rescued me was you
If Jim had any problems with being called beautiful, he didn't show it. He just kept gazing at Leo as if he held all the answers in the universe. His eyes softened further on the last line of the verse, his hand coming to rest on Leo's knee.
Close your eyes
Let me tell you all the reasons why
You're never gonna to have to cry
Because you're one of a kind
Yeah, here's to you
The one that always pulls us through
You always do what you gotta do baby
Because you're one of a kind.
When your love pours down on me
I know I'm finally free
So I tell you gratefully
Every single beat of my heart is yours to keep
The hand on his knee tightened, Jim's face flashing with remembered pain and panic. It smoothed out though when Leo nudged his knee against Jim's. They shared a small smile.
So close your eyes
Let me tell you all the reasons why babe
You're never going to have to cry baby
Because you're one of a kind
Yeah, here's to you
You're the one that always pulls us through
You always do what you got to do babe
'Cause you're one of a kind.
You're the reason why I'm breathing.
With a little luck my way
You're the reason that I'm feeling
It's finally safe to stay...
As the song drifted to a close and Leo strummed the final notes, Jim pulled the guitar from his grasp gently and tugged him forward. He pressed their lips together softly, his hands tracing over Leo's face, down over his shoulders, and came to rest at his waist.
"I love you so much, Bones. So much..." He whispered, his breath hitching in his chest.
"I love you too, Darlin'..." Leo replied, softly. "Always."
There was no room for fear right then; what happened, happened. And until something did happen, there was no point in worrying over it to the point of passing up on the happiness in front of them.
They'd both risked so much and gained even more, it didn't matter if they had tomorrow, or the next day, or even another 20 years...they had now.
And that was all that mattered.
-END-