A/N: This is something that would never, ever happen even if the campaign storyline were to go on for a long time, but it's something that I wish would happen, so here it is, if only from my imagination. This episode follows the awesome Season 6 ep, "The Mind's Eye." Reviews are appreciated!
Alicia sat in the room smiling politely at the interview panel; the men and women who would be a driving force in the race for the position of State's Attorney. They seemed friendly enough, but she knew all too well from experience that looks could be deceiving. People could turn on you in a moment's notice. But she wasn't about to let anyone bring her down.
Even in her state of confusion, in the midst of a bout with laryngitis, Alicia was prepared to answer any question that was bound to arise. She'd prepared for this interview thoroughly and was ready to fight.
And arise the questions did, hard and fast. There were questions about her beliefs, her intentions for the position of State's Attorney, her views on almost everything under the sun, and her family. She answered them all in rapid-fire speed, yet with the charm and poise of the most sophisticated female representative-or any representative for that matter.
"Mrs. Florrick, in regards to your son's girlfriend…"
Alicia stiffened. She'd prepared herself for this question of course, the one involving her son Zach and his girlfriend Becca, the girl he'd gotten pregnant and then took to have an abortion without telling her. But now she didn't have a clue on how to answer. And so she took a deep breath and tried to remember the advice of Eli, Johnny and even Marissa.
Eli Gold's daughter may have been young but Marissa was definitely outspoken and surprisingly so for her age. The advice she gave was well-taken but Alicia knew that she had to take this question on her own. After giving it a moment of thought, she went with her first instinct, which was to face it head on. They seemed to be satisfied with her answer, but she was surprised at how drained she felt when she was finished. But she had no idea what was in store for her.
The man smiled at her, obviously not intimidated or annoyed by her scratchy voice, or lack thereof. "You're doing very well, Mrs. Florrick. I'm impressed."
She nodded. "Well, thank you Mr. Richards. I've worked very hard to get to this point and I wanted to come in fully prepared. I've done my homework."
"And it shows." Estelle Rymer pointed out. "Well done. I think you have a very good chance of winning this election."
Alicia smiled. "I certainly intend to."
"All right, shall we get on with our next question?" Estelle asked.
"Of course. I'm ready."
Estelle glanced at the papers in her hand. "Will Gardner."
Alicia's head snapped to attention at the mention of Will's name. "Yes?"
"Tell me about him."
She was caught off-guard. "Tell you about him? Well, he was my boss at Lockhart/Gardner, but other than that-."
"You knew each other previously right? Before you started at Lockhart/Gardner, correct?"
"Um, yes, we went to Georgetown Law School together."
"And you had a relationship there, am I correct, Mrs. Florrick?"
"Well, yes but-."
"It didn't last. You married Peter Florrick instead."
Alicia's eyes widened. "Um, right. I-I mean yes. I did and we have two children, Grace and Zach. But I don't see what any of this has to-."
"Getting back to your relationship with Will Gardner, he was your boss, am I right?"
"Yes, he was the one who hired me when-."
"And you had a relationship while employed under him, all with the knowledge of your husband?"
"I-I don't know what you mean."
"I mean did you have a relationship with him? Were you sleeping with him?"
She swallowed hard, fighting the urge to lash out at this woman. She wanted to get up and leave the way she had when she testified on behalf of Will in front of the Grand Jury. When her relationship with Will had come into question. But now her political career was on the line. Her future-was in the hands of this panel who sat before her.
"Mrs. Flockhart did you or did you not sleep with Will Gardner on numerous occasions?"
Her voice, when she was able to find it again, was even softer than it had been before. "Yes, but I don't see what this has to do with the election. What does my private life have to do with-."
"Mrs. Florrick-." A different panel member spoke this time.
"Yes?"
"Mrs. Florrick, were you in the courtroom on the day that Will Gardner was shot and killed?"
The haunting words brought the memory back in full force and she found that she could hardly breathe. The tears were becoming harder and harder to control but she would not back down. She absolutely refused to.
"No I was not."
"Where were you?"
"I was-." Her voice broke but she quickly straightened and tried again willing her voice to remain steady. "I was with my husband at a fundraiser."
"And how did you learn the news?"
The images came back to her then, as though they were taking place at that very moment. Eli handing her the phone, Kalinda's voice saying the words "Will's been shot." And then "Will's dead".
"I-What does this have to do with anything at all?" She yelled, knowing that she was ruining her chances of ever becoming State's Attorney. But there had to be a line somewhere. "Will is dead and that's all there is to it!"
The members of the panel glanced at one another and nodded. Alicia turned away, brushing the escaped tears from her cheeks. And then she took a deep breath and turned back to the panel. "Are there any more questions?"
"No, that's it. You've done very well, Alicia. Very well." Estelle said. "Best of luck to you."
Woodenly she shook hands with the panel members, but the moment soon turned into a blur. "Thank you. I have to go now."
Without looking back, she hurried out of the building and through the front door, her mouth trembling. If she ran fast enough and jumped into her car, she just might make it before the dam of tears broke. She should have known that the panel of questions would be brutal but she never imagined that they'd bring up…
Her heart clinched in her chest just thinking about it. Perhaps she was more naive than she realized. Of course they would bring it up. The media would do anything to make a candidate look bad. But why this? What bearing did it have on whether or not she would be a good State's Attorney?
She was still thinking about it when she crashed into something-or rather someone. Shaken she looked around, feeling someone's hands on her shoulders.
"Dear God, I'm so sorry! I guess I wasn't paying-Alicia?"
She looked up, her eyes focusing on the one person she really and truly did not want to see. "Mr. Prady."
"Frank, please. Are you all right?"
"Um, yes. I'm sorry I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
"Well that's obvious, but I just want to make sure you're all right. Are you?"
"Yes, I-." she stumbled a bit, but almost instantly his hand reached out to steady her. "Come over here and sit down."
In a daze she followed her opponent, Frank Prady to a nearby bench and sat down. It took a few seconds for her vision to clear and for the world in front of her to stop swaying. And another minute to realize that he was speaking to her.
"Are you all right? Can I get you some water? Some aspirin?"
"No, I think I'll be okay, thank you. What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I'm here for my-."
"Yes, right. The interview."
"Yes. May I ask how yours went?"
"Well, it was-."
Don't tell him a word, Alicia. Her inner conscience warned. He's just trying to get a jump on the interview questions. Don't do it.
"Alicia? Are you sure you're all right? Do you need me to take you to a doctor?"
She smiled at her opponent, a man who really wasn't so bad on the outside-or inside. He just believed different things. "No, I-I'm fine. I just-. I need a minute."
"Of course."
"When is your interview?"
"Um, at 3."
She looked at her watch, where the numbers were still slightly blurred. "That's in-."
"Ten minutes, right."
"Why aren't you inside prepping for the questions?"
"Because frankly I'd rather be out here, in the fresh air, among the trees looking at the blue sky. It's rare for this time of year."
She looked up and smiled, wondering if Will was looking down on her from Heaven. Or, if she even believed in Heaven at all.
"Mr. Prady-."
"Frank, please."
"All right. Frank. Do you believe in Heaven?"
"Is that one of the questions for the interview?"
She laughed out loud, surprised at how good it felt. "No, I was just- Do you?"
"Well, I never did before but after my father passed away, I knew there had to be something-somewhere. Otherwise, where did he go? People don't just vanish from our lives forever, although there are those who chose to believe that they do. Do you believe in Heaven?"
"I don't know. I mean when you lose someone…"
"Right. Where do they go? Do they really just vanish and not only do we never see them again but they never get to find out how we turned out? Or how the world progressed around them? Or-."
She was sobbing into her hands, unable to take the pain of the memories that were so cruelly thrown at her inside the tiny room. How could they have done that? Just taken the beautiful memories she had of Will Gardner and turned them into something cheap and trashy? Their relationship wasn't an affair; not in her eyes anyway. She loved him. She loved him with her whole heart. Even if she was married and it was morally wrong, her heart didn't see it that ways. Not at all.
She felt Prady slide closer to her on the bench, his hand on her arm "Alicia?"
Embarrassed by her tears she brushed them away (even though they kept right on coming) and glanced at her watch. "You'd better go. You're going to be late for your interview."
"It's all right. My concern is you right now. What's wrong?"
She looked up intimidated by the sight of people walking in front of them, some of them looking in their direction. "People are watching us. If they see us together-."
"They can't hear us, Alicia. We're just two opponents talking, All right? Opponents do that from time to time."
"I know, but-."
"What's wrong? Why are you so upset? Is it something I said? The thing about Heaven?"
"No, I-."
"Then what?"
She rose to her feet, barely aware that his hand was in hers. "I can't stay here, all right? I shouldn't be talking about this with you-or-or anyone. I should be over it by now. It was a long time ago, almost a year ago to be exact. I don't even know why I forgot about that. March 24th. How could I have forgotten the one year anniversary of-I didn't even go to his grave! What is wrong with me? I-."
She was sobbing again and he coaxed her back onto the bench. She saw him reach into his pocket and hand her his handkerchief. It was such a gentlemanly act, something Peter would never have done, but Will certainly would have; if he'd carried a handkerchief in his pocket that is.
Will… The man she loved so much. The man she cared about more than any other, even Peter. Even when they were apart. She wanted-.
"Alicia, please just talk to me. You know me and although I'm your opponent in this race, I hope you can trust me. That's probably a loaded statement and I don't blame you if you don't believe me, but anything you say is just between us. I swear I won't use it to smear you in my campaign. I promised to run a clean race and I meant it."
"It's too late for that. It's already been smeared."
"What do you mean? I never-."
"The interview. You should probably know that they're brutal, okay? They'll use everything and anything against you."
"Thanks for the warning but-."
She opened her purse and pulled out her wallet, opening the snap. The leather was soft and supple and she ran her hand over it. A Christmas gift from Will three years ago, a wallet in the most striking shade of brown. And then she lifted the flap that held her driver's license. Tucked in the pocket behind it was a treasure. She inserted her fingers in front of the satin backing and pulled out a slim color photo. A professional head shot of Will, taken only three months before he…
Her hand went over her mouth and she bit back a sob. "I loved him so much!"
Frank gently reached for the picture and then paused. "May I?"
She said nothing, but felt him take the picture from her hand. "This is Will Gardner." He said.
She nodded, unable to speak.
"God that was tragic, wasn't it? A guy trying to defend someone and gets killed right here in the courtroom by his own client? I remember having to read the story on air when I worked at CBS. Even I got a little choked up."
A million memories went through her at that moment; from their first meeting at the midnight pool party in Georgetown to their last major encounter when she told him she was leaving Lockhart/Gardner to start her own firm with Cary.
"He was so angry…"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"He was so angry at me. I don't even know if he loved me anymore, but I loved him. I loved-."
She looked up to find Frank staring at her in disbelief. "I see. Dear God, Alicia I had no idea. I'm so sorry."
"How could they have done this, Frank? How do they get away with it?"
"How does who get away with what?"
"The panel! How can they just take someone's memories and-."
Frank nodded. "I see. You didn't just love Will Gardner. You were in love with him, weren't you?"
"I-I shouldn't be talking with you about this. It's wrong, it-." She looked at him and she saw compassion there unlike any she'd ever known. It was different than Will or Peter, and she simply couldn't explain it. But she needed it, desperately. "Yes. I did. I loved him with my whole heart."
"Dear God…" He said again. "And they just-."
"Yes."
"Damn them…"
"What?"
"I've had the same thing happen to me. Questions about my father, my mother… my past. It's like my life is an open book, and the painful parts are the most fun."
"Yes..."
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea." He said again. "That must have been a horrific thing to go through. Losing someone you love in such a tragic way."
The soothing words made her cry even harder. Unexpectedly she felt his arms go around her and she cried onto his shoulder. She cried for everything, she cried for so long she wasn't even sure how long they sat there. And when she could cry no more she lifted her head.
"Better now?"
"Yes, thank you. God, I must look terrible."
"No, on the contrary you look very beautiful."
She eyed him with concern, but he shook his head, pointing to the ring on his left hand. "I'm married, remember?"
"Right. Thanks. Well, I guess I should-." She looked at her watch and gasped, horrified when she saw the time. "Oh God, your interview!"
"What?"
"It's 3:30."
This time it was he who looked flustered. "Oh, I-."
"Oh no! Oh God, I'm so sorry this is all my fault."
"Alicia no."
"Look, I'll go in there with you. I'll take the blame for it. I'll tell them that you were helping me. It was my fault and if Eli and John and Marissa don't like it, then-."
"Alicia it's fine. I'll take care of it."
"But your campaign! I know you want to win. So do I, but-"
He smiled and took her hand as he rose to his feet. "I'll take care of it."
"But what will you say?"
"I'll tell them the truth. That I was helping someone in need."
She smiled and nodded. "Right. That should look great for your campaign. Helping someone in need. That's what they want to see. Way to go Prady."
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"I meant that I was helping a friend. Someone who has taught me, in the few minutes that we've been sitting here, that life is short and that every day should be considered a gift. So thank you, St. Alicia."
She stared at him for a moment, remembering the kindness he showed her just minutes before. And impulsively she hugged him. "Thank you, Frank. And best of luck to you."
He kissed her cheek and smiled. "Thanks, I'll need it."
As Frank turned to head into the building, she felt a warm breeze around her body, almost like a hug. She blinked back tears. "I miss you Will. I miss you so much. I wish…"
And then something floated through the wind, landing in her hands. A flower. But how…
She looked up as the sun made another appearance after being temporarily obscured by the clouds. And she was warm again.
It was a sign from Will. He was smiling down at her from heaven, letting her know that he loved and missed her. She was sure of it. Heaven really did exist.
She looked up at the sky, as tears spilled onto her cheeks. "I love you too, Will. Always."
THE END