Author's Note: This drabble was originally written for the LJ Community iyficcontest's "Jewelry" theme. It took 2nd place.

Salome Wilde 08/08

For Rent

For Rent: Shards of the Shikon Jewel. Used but in excellent condition. Many shapes and sizes. All uniquely customized, including dark power upgrades. Guaranteed to corrupt, increase might, extend life, and resurrect, as relevant. Will not sell, but available on extended lease to right customers.

Terms and Conditions: Obedience to my dark will in all matters. One per customer. Subject to availability and may be revoked without notice. Repossession immediate upon buyer's destruction; may not be bequeathed. Other restrictions may apply. No Priestesses.

Contact: Lord Naraku. Just follow the miasma. Say the password "Shard Me" and one of my offspring will come out to test your mettle. Should you survive the initial meeting, the barrier will be lifted. Note: Demonstrator model on premises; ask to see Kohaku.

Limited Time Special: Bonus infusions of concentrated evil on selected shards.

Dear Sir:

With humble apologies, we regret that we must pull your ad from next week's issue of the Feudal Times. Three days ago at our head office, a sword-wielding hanyou broke down our door and demanded, upon threat of gross bodily injury, to know the address of the customer who placed the ad. When we informed him that this was protected information, he kaze-no-kizu'ed the entire fourth floor. Then, a slayer used her Hiraikotsu to break into the file room, where she, a kitsune, and a miko in an obscenely short kimono rifled through folders and documents that will take us months to reorder. In addition, as they went about their illegal activities, a lecherous monk kept himself busy enough to cause three of our best secretaries to quit on the spot.

We know you have a choice of newspapers and we thank you for having done business with the Feudal Times. We hope this does not mean you will cancel your long-running subscription, but we must apologetically refuse to place any ads for you in future.

Sincerely,

Kichiro Yoshiaki, Editor

Feudal Times