ok people. spoof number 3 up! this is only half the story - will write the other half when i have time! enjoy xxx
The cottage was empty. The girl pushed at the front door. Surprisingly, it opened at her touch.
"People never bother with safety any more," she muttered as she went inside, door creaking stereotypically as it shut behind her.
In front of her was a table, set ready with three bowls of porridge. The girl shook her head. "Why am I not surprised?" she sighed. They were even different sizes, for goodness' sake – one large, one medium-sized and one small bowl. "Oh dear... I suppose for their sake I may as well."
She went over to the largest bowl, dipped a spoon in and took a bite. She wrinkled her nose. "Too bland," she said sourly. She took a bite from the second bowl. "Way too much sugar! Honestly, it's enough to make you want to throw up!"
Wiping her mouth, she went to the smallest bowl and took a spoonful. This one tasted ok.
"I dunno why they bother making separate batches," she muttered, as she shovelled the rest of the bowl's contents in her mouth. She wiped her mouth, suddenly feeling the urge to sit down. "Oh no..." she groaned. "Do I have to?" She crossed to the hearth, where there were three chairs. A large one, a smaller one and an even smaller one.
"I'm not even gonna bother. One's gonna be hard, one's gonna be soft and I know I'll like the third one but it's too small for me and I'll end up breaking it. Just you see!"
She sat on each chair in turn, sitting on the smallest one last. She leaned back and closed her eyes. For a second the chair seemed to hold, but she hadn't been on it long when it cracked and broke, sending her tumbling to the floor. Scowling, she got up and brushed herself off. "Satisfied?" she growled. "I need to have a lie-down." She stormed up the stairs.
In the bedroom there were three beds. Again, they were different sizes. The girl didn't even bother trying them, and headed straight for the smallest one, where she lay down and fell asleep instantly. Fairy-taling could be tiring.